bananapancakes

a weirdo n her hyperfixations.

[silverdaggerr]

[romessence]

[whendidmythoughtsgocrazy]

And it hurts until it eats you alive. Changes you forever in the blink of an eye. And it’s not something that just fades overnight. It’s something that stays for the rest of your life. When you lose somebody you love.

k.b. // nina nesbitt - when you lose someone

[existennialmemes]

We really have to stop romanticizing parenthood. Parenthood is emotionally, physically, and financially burdensome

Society should be providing parents resources to lessen those burdens, but I digress. The reality is, it is hard. It is taxing in every possible way.

Absolutely no one should be having kids unless they're completely sure that they both want to and feel capable of accepting those burdens, and carry them in such a way that their children are not aware that there are any burdens at all.

No one should be coerced into parenthood. And no one should be conditioned to see parenthood as an inevitability. No one should be taught that parenthood is the key to happiness and that becoming a parent is what everyone is supposed to eventually do if they want a fulfilling life.

Parenthood should be presented like a career path. Something that's noble to pursue, but also difficult and not everyone is suited for it.

Which is not to say that anybody should be prevented from becoming a parent, but to emphasize that we shouldn't be treating parenthood like something everyone pursues.

[joyfuldelight]

eh sumpah kacau bgt, duit atuk w ilang bbrp JUTA di dompetnya dgn kondisi blio sdg sakit. DAN YG PARAHNYA yg jadi sus itu salah satu anaknya which is tante w, krn tante w ini udh keliatan tabiatnya dr dulu, jadi semua org di keluarga w nge-sus dia

dgn alasan kondisi ekonomi dia juga cenderung rendah dan pas-pasan, lately dia gak pernah ngeluh soal duit, dan JENG JENG JENGGG duit atuk w ilang kurleb 6-10 JUTA 💀💀💀

tante w ini udh terkenal tabiat jelek nya, dr dia korup brankas bank, kredit gak pernah bayar, dan suka ngambilin/ jualin perhiasan ibunya 😖😖😖, suka pake uang kas kelas anaknya

KACAU BGT SUMPAH, mslhny posisi atuk w ini lagi sakittt literally sakit berbaring di kasur gak bs ngapa-ngapain, dan bisabisanya lo memanfaatkan kesempatan itu ANJIR, HOW COULD YOU, HES UR FATHER, U R HIS CHILD, MKST GUE MIKIR DIKIT ANJING, GILA GA ABIS PIKIR GUE

gila bapak w n another tante w sampe emosi sebegitunya, n dpt cerita dr tante w yg ituh kalo mata bapak w bengep n bapak w blg kalo dia sampe nangis sangking kecewa n sedihnya n gak abis pikirnya sama kelakuan ade nya sumpah kacau bgt

gue jadi takut bgt, aplg dia kmrn ada kasus nge-payment tagihan listrik pake spaylater gue TANPA SEPENGETAHUAN GUE (GILA GA TUH) emg reputasi tante w ini udh jelek kalo soal duit n trust

kacau bgt ni org, w pgn cut off aja anjir ngeri bgt, sumpah ga kebayang perilaku-perilaku kriminal apalagi yg sanggup dia jalankan

[joyfuldelight]

knp sih org-org obsessed BGT sama KESIBUKAN, sama SIBUKKK, ky demen bgt dah org" ngeliat org lain sibuk

kek mang ngapa sih kalo jadi pengangguran, toh stlh gue lulus/ wisuda gue juga ga akan nanggur sampe berpuluh tahun kedepan sampe gue pensiun, chill aja buset dah hal di dunia ini isinya bukan cm kerja coyyy

lagi pula jatohnya kan gue ga nganggur tapi gue lagi skripsian, wajar aja si di rumah aja

[delicqteheart]

he’s so happy to be unemployed

[homunculus-argument]

If you're trying to tell someone that something they did inadvertedly hurt your feelings, and they treat this conversation like a debate where their goal is to successfully argue that they did nothing wrong, and that you have no right to feel upset, that's your cue that you should give up trying to have any kind of a real, genuine relationship with them. Everyone will sometimes end up doing something that you hadn't realised would upset someone you care about, you can't be constantly aware of every single thing at all times. But turning the following conversation into an argument of uncompromisingly justifying and defending their actions is a sign you shouldn't ignore.

They don't think that upsetting you is the problem. What they have a problem with is you thinking you deserve better than how they want to treat you.

[joshuaballsett]

drew starkey was hit with a sudden stab of jealousy when he found out mike faist had his own embroidered fan to cool himself from the parisian heat

[starkeymedia]

DREW STARKEY and MIKE FAIST at the DIOR fashion show in Paris.

📸 tmostudio

[joyfuldelight]

hati gue udah cukup terluka krn banyaknya trauma yg harus gue tanggung, kykny if theres one more person i loved the most misunderstood me once, i hardly recover from that deh, sangking deep nya wounds gue.

[natalieironside]

I don't wanna sound like mean or nuthin but a lot of y'all have been trapped in a vortex of suffering for so long that you've come to identify with the suffering as an aspect of your personality and ideology and thereby to covet suffering and to mistake debasement for enoblement and humiliation for virtue

[baaalu]

this reminds me of two quotes which went something like "pain is inevitable, suffering is a choice" and "the key to fulfillment is not abundance, but the simple act of valuing appreciation more than lamentation". another one that I heard from my previous therapist that woke me tf up was "stop romanticising being your own sacrificial lamb" and tbh? yeah. the world WANTS you to suffer. fight back. you HAVE to choose being and Doing happy yk

[gentlewordsdaily]

Sometimes being called “strong” just feels exhausting.

Because people usually say it after you have survived something difficult, but very rarely do they ask what surviving it actually cost you.

What it cost your energy. Your sense of safety. Your ability to relax completely. The softer parts of you that got worn down from carrying too much for too long.

I think there are people who have been resilient for so many years that they no longer know how to stop bracing themselves. People who became dependable because they had to. People who kept going, not because they were fearless, but because life did not really give them another option.

And after a while, resilience stops feeling empowering. It just becomes tiring.

You get tired of being the one who “handles it.” Tired of adapting. Tired of recovering. Tired of surviving difficult things and then immediately being expected to continue functioning like nothing happened.

Sometimes you don’t want to be strong. Sometimes you want to be held gently by life for once.

You want rest that actually feels restful. You want softness without guilt. You want to stop feeling like every difficult experience is just another lesson you are supposed to grow from.

And honestly, I think that feeling deserves more understanding than it gets.

Because there is a quiet grief in realizing how much of your life has been spent enduring instead of simply living.

So if you are tired of being resilient, I hope you know that does not make you weak or ungrateful or incapable.

It makes you human.

Human beings were never meant to carry endless amounts of pain without eventually becoming exhausted by it.

You deserve support too. You deserve gentleness too. You deserve spaces where you do not have to be the strong one all the time.

And I hope one day you experience a kind of peace that does not require survival first.

Not relief after crisis. Not temporary comfort between difficult periods.

Just ordinary, steady softness. The kind that lets your nervous system finally realize it no longer has to fight so hard to exist.

[gentlewordsdaily]

There is a very specific kind of sadness in realizing your parents loved you, and still did not always know how to meet your emotional needs.

Because it is confusing. It would almost feel easier if there was no love there at all. But sometimes there was love. In the way they tried to protect you. In the sacrifices they made. In the ways they worried about you, cared for you, wanted a good life for you.

And at the same time, there were still things missing.

Maybe comfort did not come in the way you needed it to. Maybe your feelings were not always understood, or noticed, or handled gently. Maybe you learned to keep certain parts of yourself quiet because it felt easier than trying to explain them.

That kind of hurt is difficult because it does not always come from cruelty. Sometimes it comes from people who loved you deeply, but did not know how to emotionally connect in the ways you needed. People carrying their own wounds, limitations, fears, or ways of surviving.

And you are allowed to acknowledge both truths at once.

You are allowed to recognize their love and still grieve what you needed but did not receive. Those things do not cancel each other out.

Forgiveness, for a lot of people, is not pretending nothing hurt you. It is slowly accepting that someone can love you and still fall short of understanding you completely.

That does not make your pain dramatic. It does not make them monsters either. Sometimes it just means everyone was trying with the emotional tools they had, and some of those tools were not enough.

And I think many people quietly carry guilt for still feeling hurt by parents they know tried their best. But being loved imperfectly can still leave wounds. It makes sense that it affected you.

At the same time, you do not have to stay trapped only in anger forever either. Sometimes healing looks like understanding that your parents were human before they were parents. People shaped by their own experiences, their own upbringing, their own emotional gaps.

That understanding does not erase your feelings. It just softens the sharp edges around them a little.

You deserved emotional safety. You deserved gentleness. You deserved to feel understood, comforted, and emotionally close to the people raising you.

And if they could not fully give that to you, it is okay to mourn it.

But I hope you also know this: the love you needed is still something you can experience in your life. Through other people. Through chosen family. Through the way you learn to treat yourself now.

The story does not end at what you did or did not receive growing up.

You are still allowed softness after all of it 🤍

[somewordsarebiggerthanothers]

[joyfuldelight]

lah emang w baca au atau fanfic buat apaan.. ya buat healing inner child gue lah, buat cured, buat escape, buat ngademin inner child, buat reassure kalo im fine, im not broken, i deserve to be loved, i dont have perform or earn smth to be loved... i just want to have a father figure like them (re: fictional char yg gue baca)

heal inner child gak selalu harus punya anak terus ngeliat pasangan kita jadi present emotionally father, bisa juga lewat reels/ vt bapak" yg reassure anaknya, bisa juga dgn kehadiran partner kita buat reassure perasaan kita. punya anak bukan solusi dari daddy issue gue, gue cm mau punya bapak yg hadir scr emosional, yg literally take care of me, yg reassuring, yg supportif in emotional way, yg bisa gua jadikan tempat bersandar n berkeluh kesah, yg gue ga perlu play pretend to be ok, to be fine, to be strong in front of him. i wanna be vulnerable. gue gamau punya bapak nonchalant, gue mau punya bapak yg goofy, yg ekspresif, yg affectionate, yg bisa catch me up when i fall down.

at first i feel like daddy issue is a joke, but bro i dont think its a joke anymore. jujur makin gede, impact daddy issue makin terasa nyata. gatau krn im such a deep feeler, atau w makin sensitif aja dgn perasaan w, jadi w lebih concious gitu lho. n it feels uncomfortable, i wanna get rid of this feeling aja rasanya tuh, krn apa ya kekny ga akan pernah sembuh, deep down in my heart w akan selalu longing hal itu. dan skrng w hanya bisa grieving for that.

so yeah, im longing for the life i wish i had, im grieving for the life i never had.

additional: atp gue lebih pengen punya present father dibanding punya pacar. krn apa ya, mnrt gue kasih sayang bapak itu more fulfilling dibanding kasih sayang dr pacar, meanwhile i didnt get any, gue berharap dapet kasih sayang bapak dr pacar gue nanti

dan untungnya gue tipe daddy issue yg hyper independent woman, no need anyone, save urself bc no one saves u bukan tipikal yg craving male attention alias haus perhatian cowok, gonta-ganti pacar.

[kooksandpearls]

DREW STARKEY for DAZED MAGAZINE aka one of his best shoots