Sleep Training Baby at night time …
To read more : https://www.thenewbasics.com/en/book-excerpt/sleep/
Between Two and Four Months
In 1994, when Tribeca Pediatrics first opened its doors, we recommended that parents begin sleep-training their babies at around the age of four months. However, to the universal comfort and sanity of our patients, we have discovered that sleep-training is even more effective if begun at two months. Of course, it’s your decision when this process begins and how you choose to tackle it. But our years of experience, and the testimonials of our well-rested patients and their parents, have convinced us that this is the most effective, healthy time to begin sleep-training.
If you enjoy the cuddling or at least don’t mind the fact that Lucy wakes up at night, please skip to the next age group below. If, on the other hand, you feel sleep-deprived and want to handle the situation, I’ve broken the process down into three simple steps:
1 | Put Lucy in her crib at a reasonable hour (while she’s still awake, if possible). The best time is when both of you have had a chance to interact with her for a while after work.
2 | After the bath and the songs, kiss her good night.
3 | Come back the next morning at 7:00 A.M.
I have just heard the collective gasp of thousands of parents: “Are you out of your mind?!” Bear with me. I know this sounds drastic, but it’s the only way to get Lucy into the habit of soothing herself rather than relying on you. It’s true that the first few days she’ll soothe herself to sleep by crying, but eventually she’ll sleep just like, well, a baby. The first night she’ll cry two to three times, for twenty to thirty minutes (you’ll feel like crying too); the second night she’ll cry less; and the third even less. By the fourth night, you’re home free. Done.
REAL QUESTIONS FROM REAL PARENTS
Again, if you don’t mind waking up, then you don’t have a problem, and Lucy doesn’t either. But as much as I’d like to tell you her sleep patterns will get better, trust me and trust my experience, they won’t change on their own.
How long can I let her cry?
Until she falls asleep. It can take an awfully long time. If you last only twenty minutes, you’re teaching her to cry for twenty minutes before she gets her soothing.
Can I at least go touch the baby or kiss her, even if I don’t feed her?
If you do, she’ll see it as a tease, become more upset, and cry even longer because she won’t understand why you won’t feed her. Babies know nothing of moderation.
How do I know the baby isn’t hungry?
She is hungry. But she does not need to eat. After any three- or four-hour fasting period, she’ll be hungry. You’re hungry in the middle of the night, too; it’s just that you learn not to eat because it’s good for your belly to take a rest. Well, it’s good for hers too.
What about a little water at least?
Only if you want to wake up every couple of hours to give her water.
Would it help if I gave her cereal before bed?
It’s a myth that porridge before bedtime helps a baby sleep, since it will be digested in the few hours to come. The same goes for topping off a feeding with a bottle of formula.
Can I feed the baby to sleep?
You can, but it’s better not to. Consistency is important, so why would you nurse Lucy to the edge of sleep at 8:00 P.M. but not, say, at 2:00 A.M.? It’s a habit you’ll have to struggle to overcome, and since you’re doing so much struggling as it is, you might as well struggle completely and be done with it. Also, if you’re going to struggle, I assure you that things will look much more dramatic to you at 2:00 A.M. than they will at 8:00 P.M. And most of the crying is done early on.
How long will Lucy sleep at this age?
Ten to twelve hours. Straight.
Can I go to her early in the morning?
Again, if you’re going to struggle, struggle all the way. Babies are notorious believers in the take-a-mile-if-given-an-inch philosophy. If you give Lucy attention at five-thirty, she’ll start looking for you at five. If you slide back to five, she’ll test you at four. And so forth. Hold to the schedule, on the other hand, and she’ll learn to put herself back to sleep in the morning hours.
Aren’t I traumatizing the baby?
At seven in the morning, you’ll be surprised to find a happy, smiling baby who loves you and loves to see you. And you’ll be rested and happy too. More to the point, your own smiles during the day won’t be as forced when you are no longer a zombie.
Don’t worry about nap time. Once Lucy learns to sleep at night, daytime napping will be a breeze.
As I said, after a few days of this, Lucy will sleep through the night. And if you wake up, it will only be because you’re surprised that you’re sleeping so well. But make no mistake: Be prepared for three or four brutally hard nights. It is never easy to let your baby cry. But once you start, stick to your guns; if you give in halfway through the process, you’ll only make it worse.
How do you know all of this?
I learned the hard way. With Abeline, our first daughter, my wife and I took turns on 2:00 A.M. Lullaby duty. I spent many nights walking around the loft with Abeline in my arms, singing any French lullaby that my sleep-starved brain could conjure. I wasn’t sleeping well at home and even less at work when I was on call. And I was probably just like you, thinking that if she woke up, she was calling us. At ten months, we were so exhausted from soothing her that we finally let her cry it out. Within a couple of days she was sleeping through the night. You’d think we’d have learned our lesson, but we hadn’t. With our second daughter, Nora, we made the same mistakes (tending to her every nighttime peep) and later resolved it the same way. It only took us six months to wise up that time. With Fanny, our third one, we let her cry herself to sleep early, just like I told you, and it worked like a charm. She’s a perfectly secure little kid who can fall asleep fine on her own. By contrast, Abeline, who got the most soothing before sleeping, still needs her head rubbed every once in a while to get to sleep, just like in the good old days.
I’ve also learned from the hundreds of sleepless parents to whom I’ve suggested this method. They initially look at me like I have two heads, but at the next month’s visit, they show up with broad smiles and tell me, “That was torture for a few days, but we’re so happy we did it!”
