Upon entering the compoundesque facility building, the first impression is that it has decent staffing, since I saw three secretaries behind a very organized counter/desk, a janitor cleaning up a plant that must've been knocked off the counter/desk, and several stereotypical security personnel.
I had to finish some complex sign-in and entry protocol. It involved fingerprints, retinal scans, security questions, a keycard, facial recognition, and they tried to do a blood-test.
I told them the only reason my blood was in the system was because my parents got it tested before I had a chance to be born. They threatened to call guards so they could do the test. I informed them of the probabilities that someone impersonating me would refuse the test was low, especially since it's my first day, and that if they managed to discover my deeply rooted hatred of needles this early into the job, then they would already be in the building.
They got a weird machine that somehow scanned my finger and tested it like that.
I got so many Stink Eyes, but hey. I ain't changing for no one.
~
I was given a tour. I was told right off that it was going to be done from most safe to most dangerous, all within my clearance.
We started with the supply closets and the bathrooms and the places where normal people work and may go.
Then we went to the dorms, where I was shown the room I would be sharing with one other person. It is way too big for just two people, but I digress.
The labs were next, and they were pretty cool. The ones I was shown were just for safe experiments that were meant to reestablish what's known or fine-tune things.
Then we went to the cafeteria. I know better than to ask why the cafeteria is more dangerous than the labs.
There were more labs after, with the more sporadic experiments.
Right! Alex says I forgot this, and she's right. I was being given instructions on what to do and what not to do and what's normal and what's not and all that sort of stuff while we walked. Also safety protocols. There's a lot of them.
I managed to figure out that the reason it's normal to see a man in a rainbow wig with a drawn-on beard walking around with an accordion in the dangerous labs is because he came one day and never left. Important information. I still do not know his name.
Anyways, the final place that we managed to get to was at about 1 PM. It was the rooms for the Things. We visited Medly first, who was a doll, as usual. My guide wasn't even worried. Apparently, they'd been briefed on our connection, which is why Medly was first.
We visited other rooms, where I didn't go in but was told some stuff about them.
~
This is important enough to separate.
I was told that most emergencies involve at least temporary evacuation of personnel and Safe or Euclid Things. I was given a list of Things to Evacuate, and told to only go if I was nearby to one of the ones on the list.
I was not informed of how to properly evacuate all the stuff on my list, or what the different alarms meant. I was (allegedly) about to be informed of these things, and given those lists and stuff.
I was not, and the Alarms went off.
My guide told me to follow protocol and rushed off to do something. (They later told me that this something was going to figure out what was going on. They smelled guilty and so I gave them a hug.)
I did what I believed to be the proper protocol and went to the room of the nearest Thing to Evacuate. I had also not had the "dangers of engagement" explained yet, so I just walked in.
0ffee's pretty nice. She's a tod, and she was more than happy to come with when I told her it was an emergency, as long as we brought Georgie.
I sent a message to my Evacuation Group, which thankfully was explained to me, or I don't think they would've figured out what had happened for another hour. I've got stuff to learn! Spending an Entire Hour on human sillyness is not what I want to do.
Anyways, 0ffee was a gem while I ran to where I was pretty sure the Evacuation Exit was. I figured out quickly that some doors lockdown when the Alarms go off.
Then this giant Thing comes barreling through the walls, smashing through with something in its mouth. Threw that (Alex said it was a body, and started barking off orders) and faced off me, but didn't do anything dangerous.
0ffee knew him, and the two started talking, and that's when I found out that I'm not supposed to be able to so much as look at 0ffee without going berserk, although that's Sees' words, not hers. She doesn't talk about that stuff.
My guide finally found me, along with several of the Big Guns people, about... 3:20? Maybe? And I was deep in conversation with Sees about the benefits of humans gaining a slime factor, while 0ffee decided to use Sees as a personal jungle gym.
~
I currently am sitting in the medbay, having just undergone several tests for things I don't really care about. I have been asked no less than 27 times if I'm 'alright' or something similar, and received the assurances from no less than 8 people that this was "the worst first day" for me. I have also been told it is reasonable to just want to forget today.
And that I might be under investigation for a while to figure out how I negated 0ffee's effects.
My statement that I "just yelled really loudly and gave everyone the Mom Stareâ„¢" was considered not enough information. Sees and 0ffee have both gone back to their rooms, and I have been told I'll be visiting them along with Medly.
Weird.
But, to emphasize the positives, I made two more Things Friends, given multiple people both confusion and panic, and made a lot of friends among the Big Guns people, the medical staff, and some of my seniors.
And Alex already approves of me hanging out with 0ffee.
And I have all the information I was supposed to have when the Alarms went off, so now I know what to do if they go off again!
Today is the first day of the job. We knew this was coming, and I'm still beyond nervous. I'm also very tired, so that's prolly something. But it's also 3 AM, so it's not like that's changing.
The bus driver just gave me a weird looking energy drink.
Alex says I shouldn't drink it. Most of the others agree.
Char says I should.
Alex and Char are now fighting. I am thankfully in front of them, so all I hear are the grunts and the sounds of impacting fists.
I drank it.
I downed the entire 32oz can in the amount of time it took Alex to scramble to his feet. Char is cheering. I feel a little sick. I think I'll eat one of my snacks now.
~
It's been ten minutes and I'm starting to see things.
The bus driver says that seems like a mild side effect.
It's been another minute and I've deduced that I'm seeing sounds. I've also begun to taste colors.
And I can hear textures, but that's nothing unusual.
The Bus Driver has officially asked how much I've drunk so far.
Judging by the way the guard is rushing towards me with the first aid kit and that weird scanner thing, I think "A-L-L" is not the appropriate response.
"Your black tastes like sugar." - Me.
"Sure, sweetie." - The Guard, clearly panicking as they attempt to fumble through taking my blood pressure.
"Your anxiety is the shade of a bruise, specifically purple, and your goggles taste citrusy, and your weird Kevlar sounds like a bunch of beads rattling together. We're gonna be friends. You can't stop this." - Me, currently listening to dozens of facepalms behind me.
"How much caffeine do you usually have?" - The Guard, entering Anxiety: Stage Calm.
"At 3 AM? I'm usually asleep. I pass out at 2 every day." - Me, lying. I actually tend to have a good sleep schedule, sort of. I mean, for my family and my age, I get plenty.
"... Does it usually make you, uh-" - The Guard, about to learn my entire Traumatic Backstory that I don't have.
~
So, upon informing them of the mild Synesthesia, and the fact that my blood pressure is actually lower after the 32oz can of pure caffeine - I had to listen to Alex rant about how I need to tell them I have a lower baseline, but they don't need to know that - the Guard and the Bus Driver have calmed down.
Well, technically the Guard is ranting about how dangerous it was to give me That Drink without telling me how potent it was, or knowing anything about my allergies and ****. I honestly am starting to ship them with how hard they've been arguing the past hour or so.
~
We've arrived at exactly 7:35 AM. It is still far too early.
The Bus Driver said that I could sleep if I wanted to.
I told him that I hated naps. In reality, Alex was muttering in my ear about how I shouldn't sleep with low blood pressure. The jerk.
I'm signing off for now. Hopefully, my first day is just learning the ropes. And anything is better than fast food.
