💛creative outlet🧡

ryhmes about my irrational thoughts

[jthewallflower]

Friends of a fatal end

Some friends I have

I am better left without

My friends I’ve known for a decade so

Yet they only scream and shout

Rude, mean and truly conniving words to me

Plotting for my murder while I am still residing

Wishing I was dead instead of thriving

My fatal friends have wanted me dead

Yet I still stick by their stead

What’s wrong with me don’t I have no honor

No self respect

No worth

What am I made of ?

Where is my attitude toward these bitches in my life ?

Why don’t I show them what I am ?

instead of hiding in plain site ?

But when the time comes...

...I never leave

What am I to do ?

With these fatal friends indeed ...



[jthewallflower]

Strenght

Is something gained

Is an a ability many cannot attain

Strenght from within

The power it holds

Is not just physical

mental is the most essential

Strenght is worked on from the moment we breathe

We breathe with a vision in mind

We set a in motion what we should be

It is the strongest person to be able to do it whole

To not faulter when it gets difficult

But to continue even if said they cannot

Strenght is all it’s own it belongs to one person

One person who is able to face it all

And believe they can be able to achieve their destiny

[jthewallflower]

My family

My family is the most important thing to me

I want them to be able to be safe and happy

I don’t care if I’m hurt or anything happens to me

Just let my family be

I love them too much to imagine them in pain

The thought causes me strain

Just let my family be

Please god preotect them when they’re far from me

Don’t let them be hurt or the devil take them

I want them safe

Please I pray you can make them

[jthewallflower]

What life means to me

Life means to not question what should be certain

Such as friendships

Relationships

Descions made in the past

To live life free from envy and jealousy

I want a life where my worries are set free

I want to be happy

I want real friends

By the end of this next decade I want to be able to be ready to take the next step of my life and be happy with where I am headed I want

My dog to be with me still

My family to be happy and healthy

My friendships to be real and strong

My relationship to be secured trustworthy and healthy

I’m 2030 I am going to be successful artist I will always help my family and I want to be there for my furture I pray that is the way my life ends up

[jthewallflower]

Friendship

What does it mean to you

Someone by your side

Someone you can confide

Another soul just like your own

A reflection in the water

Soulmate playmate all in one

Means more than anyone

How could I ever know what it all means

If I've never had a true friend in me

[jthewallflower]

Underappreciated

A shame, no love, not wanted

Hide from the public

No one wants to be associated

An embarrassment

Hated

Who cares I say

They don't appericate me

They dont see all that I can be

They see a small part of me

labeling me

Shame upon them

Shunned from the naked eye

They hide from me

I'm hidden no one knows what I can truly be

I am 2nd choice, 2nd thot, not worthy of love

Who would ever choose me

I'm never considered first

My opnion never asked

My choices dont matter

Who would consult with me

Opinions faltered

Truths told as lies

Unreliable

But it's only a disguise

Who cares I say

Only one who does is me

[jthewallflower]

Regrettable unforgettable

I regret not taking that leap

Leap of faith into obscurity

Major proclamation to my amorè

When did I know my feeling to be true

So nervous, I couldnt be with you

Never could admit what I truly felt for you

Now that I think about my past doubts

That one pops into my head, I can't ever forget

How I didnt try to be with you

I loved you so true, more than anyone, enough to say I do

I truly wanted to be with you

Nervousness and fear of rejection kept me from my confession

Yet know years from now I regret how I couldn't confess, my love to you

Now I'm stuck loving someone else too

However not sure what I should do

I'm stuck

Oh very stuck for my feeling have run a muck

I've truly messed up.

[jthewallflower]

Miss Ol' Reliable

You've always been dependable

Good ol' reliable

The only a few are as honorable as you

Yet I have a hunch

Ol reliable ain't that reliable

Shes broken down and been takin a new

By some fancy new fella

Some you've only known for a few

Miss ol reliable ain't apart of my home no more

Shes decided that she needs to move on

I've decided shes too far gone

She dont say nothing to me about how obscure shes being

Shes changed and I'm left in the dark

I feel like I've met someone new

Someone I'm not too a kin too

Someone I might need to learn to grow use too

Kick to curb, because what use are you ?

[jthewallflower]

Where do I go?

At what age do i know ?

Where to go, what to do ?

Will i know next day or 10 years from today

Im in this race of life with no real pace and ive lost track of how much of my time has gone to waste

Im supposed to chase my dreams but i have no idea how

Or even what to do next

Im stuck, watching life pass me by

I look

Sometimes i feel like my time came and went

I dont want regrets

Someday i dont want to wake up in bed and repent

On all this lost time, i could've used but it left

How will i know when ive made my dreams come true

How will i know if anything is ever enough

What right desicion to make and when the going gets tough

What to do

Cause honestly i have no clue

-j

[jthewallflower]

Today he left

The man i first loved has left

He's left my heart

He's left my soul

But yet i feel a hole

I feel empty even though i have someone new

My new life and my new love

I haven't seen my first love in years but i still want him here

The fresh tears i shed cause he's leaving and I'm grieving

He's been gone for a while now.

But he might be gone forever and he may never return but

i tried when i had nothing more to give

But i did give up cause my heart had enough

Now its time for me and my new man.

I hope i dont give up, everything is worth a chance

Cause he got what no guys got, my heart

And soul

I wouldn't feel whole. I just feel a lil empty cause my first love stole

He stole a part of me i will never get back

All the memories, all the heartache, all my love for him

He took it, its gone now and its better left that way

I hope he is happy someday

[jthewallflower]

Love

I miss you

I hate that i miss you

I'll always love you

But who knows how you feel

You probably don't even care

Your feelings were never clear

My feelings were always there

You took advantage of me and i let you abuse me

Cause i needed you more then you needed me

-j

[jthewallflower]

Empty

My life has been adrift

Never has been perfect

But its never been this difficult

Descions for my present that will affect my future

What will it say if i chose to ignore it all

Be selfish and concieted for once think of myself instead of what others favor

Id be a hog and chose it all

Id never wanna lose

But a reality like that is like singing the blues

Its beautiful and sweet but the whole song in turn is a depressing defeat

-j

[jthewallflower]

Alone far from

Being alone is sometimes better

You don't have to focus on what you lack

Cause theres no one around to jugde you if you don't pick up the slack

You are in your place of solitude

In the fortress of your attitude

Which no one can tell you to change

Cause no one will tell you its strange

Being yourself is best kept by no other than who you are

The true you

Which no one will ever see

But you

- j

[jthewallflower]

Liar liar pants on fire ?

Your pants are on fire, oh god help her please

She is in dire help indeed,

Tell me, What have you been doing ?

Did you start the fire ?

You say that he was ?

The person standing over there

A random stranger far from danger

Yet you drag him into the flames

Yelling his name,

But i think you have no one else to blame ...

No one else is around you..., everyone is scared to be near you ?

...Far from it everyone fears you !

But not me cause i see through your ruse

Your a cheat, a scamp, just trying to trap anyone you can grab

But why

Oh

You use to be like me

You couldn't own up to your own mistakes

Be a grown up ! You can't play victim forever

No one will believe this act

In fact i dont even think you believe in yourself

This tactic youve made only will last so long as you play this game

But you will have no players, cause everyone will leave

Because theyre tired of your parade

Your show is a joke, the truth is your savior

But you will never fix your behavior

Cause on greed from his attention is what you savor

-j

[jthewallflower]

Friends are

Something i might not have

Sometimes i think that im better without

Cause most of them leave me thoughts of doubt

They leave me unsure of how i feel about my self esteem

Maybe they're something i dont need

One friend is better than none in a sea undependable morons

- j