"The pleasure would be fleeting and the suffering prolonged," Alfred had told him once, and the Gods knew how much Uhtred should have paid attention to that. But thankfully, they are both very stubborn.
But I know the gratification would be fleeting, the suffering prolonged and so I suffer gruel.
about all of this:
FORGIVE ANY TYPOS!!
Important note before I start: I will consider Alfred as a man having Crohn's disease because that's how both the TLK writers and Bernard Cornwell wrote him, so he should be read under that lens.
OKAY SO. I could rant a lot about how TLK uses very specific words to create parallels and subtext — not only here but in many other occasions as well, but for now I want to focus on what I did in this gifset which is highlighting the use of food symbolism when it comes to Alfred specifically.
The reasoning behind using food as symbolism for Alfred is quite obvious: he was written as a man who had Crohn's disease, thus one of his main struggles was with food. The interesting thing though is the fact that food is used as a representation of Alfred's sexual desires and this too connects with his illness.
In the gifset I have added a part of chapter 74 of Asser's Life of King Alfred. This part talks of how, when he was young, Alfred prayed to God for an illness that could have made it impossible for him to act on his "carnal desires" and God answered him with piles. Because of this, it was assumed by some historians that Alfred could have been a passive homosexual, and the one article in which those theories are also pointed out is the one article that pushed forward the theory of Alfred having been affected by Crohn's disease (that is Alfred the Great: A Diagnosis, by Gillian Craig in 1991). Now, Craig didn't really support the whole possibility of Alfred having been a homosexual man, but that is not important for the explanation, just know that there were some theories going around and the article was such an important one that it is impossible that none of the tlk writers or Bernard never read it (a man who has studied Alfred for like 40 years, by the way). But, on the top of that, even that absolute cunt of Alfred Smyth mentioned that there were theories about it (he mentioned it in an absolutely homophobic way but he did mention it) and unfortunately the guy's tome is read a lot amongst Alfredian historians (personally, I hope he's rotting in hell).
SO, now that you have in mind this theory of the possibility for the historical Alfred to have been a queer man, we can go back to the use of language in TLK for the purpose of subtext, parallels and symbolism.
Three types of food get mainly mentioned in this gifset (all are from season 1): apples, milk, and meat. When it comes to symbolism, meat is often associated with the male gender (strength, etc.) and milk with the female gender (maternity, etc.). In the scenes in season 1, milk is always accompanied by apples. As I said, milk is associated with women and what else is associated with women? The apple as the forbidden fruit — Eve (the woman) tempted Adam (the man) with the apple (gonna read this under a christian lens because Alfred is deeply connected to Christianity, as you all know).
ONWARDS. Going through the gifset:
1. (1x03) The servant says "the milk has soured" and indeed after that you never see them in an intimate scenary.
2. (1x04) Alfred asks Uhtred if he has eaten.
3. (1x03, same scene as before) After the servant leaves, Alfred says that he's tired of "milk and apples" (the two types of food that are connected to the woman) and that he needs meat (the type of food connected to the man).
4. (1x02) This is Alfred's first scene ever and Alfred has just been intimate with the servant girl and Beocca tells him of Uhtred. Alfred says that unless Uhtred becomes "flesh and bone" (flesh can be connected to meat) he won't mention him during the witan. Alfred then claims that he only has faith in God. Afterwards, he asks Beocca to bring the servant girl into his service, thus listening to Beocca's previous advice of keeping the temptation close to him so that he could show God how much he was good at resisting it.
5 & 6. Here's the part of chapter 74 of Asser's Life of King Alfred that I mentioned earlier. Also, I would point out that the illness mentioned in this part is connected to his youth (so technically before TLK even started), but piles affected him in season 1 for sure too because Iseult in 1x07 asked Alfred "You pass blood? From your arse?" and his silence confirmed that he did pass blood, so he did have piles.
7. (1x03, same scene as before) Beocca says that he's a martyr to meat, thus he directly refers to chapter 74 of Asser's Life of King Alfred in which it says that Alfred became afflicted by his illness because he wanted to resist his carnal desires, desires that are most likely queer desires. By saying that Alfred is "a martyr to meat", in this context I believe it could be read as a "you crave to be intimate with a man but you prayed God to have an illness that could stop you from doing that so you are a martyr to such an act, you could never do it".
8. (1x04) Alfred tells Uhtred (who became "flesh and blood" in the meantime) that he craves "meat and other things". This line clearly connects meat to sex, and again, meat is mainly used as a symbol for the male gender.
9. (1x02) Alfred points out how Uhtred is a man. A small reminder of how Beocca told Alfred to take the girl that tempted him into his service, that was also when Beocca spoke of Uhtred for the first time and Alfred first told Beocca then that Beocca only knew him as a child, something that he points out again in the scene here, specifically highlighting the fact that Uhtred is now a man. In the episode after, as said before, Alfred says how he is tired of "milk and apples" (thus women) and how he "needs" (verb used in 1×03) and "craves" (verb used in 1×04 in Uhtred's presence) "meat" (thus men) and what does Alfred do in that same episode (that is 1x03)? He takes Uhtred into his personal service, and immediately after Uhtred claimed that he "had no need of a wife" and Alfred stared at him for a while without saying anything.
10. (1x03, same scene as before) After Alfred has a whole crashout on how he needs "meat", Beocca asks him to pray for strength, to which Alfred says "Why does it have to be a sin?" and this line, I believe, can be seen under a completely different light with everything that I tried to point out here, and while homosexuality wasn't "legally" and truly condemned in the 9th century, there were penitentials that considered it as a sin and we know that in Seven Kings Must Die, Aethelstan views it as such and it is even pointed out to Uhtred how christians do not "endure" homosexuality.
After all of this, I chose to close the whole gifset with the line that follows Alfred's "I crave meat and other things": But I know the gratification would be fleeting, the suffering prolonged and so I suffer gruel, so the gratification of giving into his desires would have just been painful for him, and as a consequence he suffers gruel — something that can be boiled either in water or in milk, by the way. Lastly, it is quite interesting that immediately after that line, Alfred says "Though my wife will not allow it to be called anything other than broth" and the second Alfred says the word "gruel" for a second time in that same scene, Uhtred corrects him and says "broth, lord", and Alfred whole ass smiles.
“Many of you are surely wondering why I have summoned you at this hour. It’s came to my attention that earlier this evening Harry Potter was sighted in Hogsmeade. Now… should anyone, student or staff, attempt to aid Mr. Potter, they will be punished in a manner consistent with the severity of their transgression. Furthermore, any person found to have knowledge of these events, who fails to come forward, will be treated as equally guilty. No one?
If anyone in here has any knowledge of Mr. Potter’s movements this evening I invite them to step forward. Now.”
Summary: Aelfwynns stitching lesson abruptly comes to a halt, reminding her of her current troubles of mind.
Note: A few weeks (months?) ago I polled what fic I should write next and Aelfwynn won :D So I started writing. Unfortunately, I didn't come very far and recently I have decided to shift my creative energies a bit, which means this story will be discontinued for now. I say for now, because I still dig the concept and when the show doesn't want to explore this, then someone else has to. Maybe not present me, but possibly future me. We'll see. For now:
Enjoy!
Aelfwynn followed the needle with her eyes, watched it plunge into the fabric and emerge again from its snowy white surface, only for it to repeat the motion again and again, leaving but a green thread as the only trace of its path. She had chosen a dark green for the flowerbed, even though she was told the light one would be more suitable. Startled by a sudden flash of pain she yelped and watched a redness spread above the green. Pulling her finger away from the frame she saw the prick in its tip for a moment before a small bubble formed like a shining pearl of life. Her life. Her blood. She pressed her thumb against it, rubbing both fingers together, watching the bubble first burst, then spread into the tiny grooves of her skin.
A deep sigh made her look up. The maid had immediately risen from her seat opposite her to fetch a cloth that she now wrapped around the wounded forefinger: “How many times have I told you to watch it?” Her tone no longer carried the once common frustration or anger, only dejection remained. Aelfwynn did not linger on her voice, but on the words she had spoken, or rather the words she hadn’t. Waiting, her eyes fixed on the deep wrinkles of the womans forehead. Had she always been like that? As their eyes met, something shifted: “You seem weary, my lady. Perhaps it is time for supper?”
“I much prefer to head straight to bed”, the maid let go of her now tightly wrapped finger and nodded approvingly, before turning to leave. A sudden panic rushed to her heart as she watched the door swing open: “Don’t tell her!”
The maid halted halfway out of the room to look back at her: “I won’t.”
The reply didn’t bring the longed for reassurance. She would know anyways, Aelfwynn thought as she got up and threw the spoiled embroidery behind the heavy chest beside the set of chairs they had been resting on. She could feel the finger throb below the cloth, but didn’t dare to remove the fabric just yet. She hurried to bed instead. As she crossed the hallways and jumped up the stairs she saw through the passing windows how the sun hadn’t yet set. It was too early to sleep, she knew, yet there was no other place she wanted to be right this instant. She found her thumb pressing against the hurting fingertip, imagining the whiteness turn red once more.
Behind her the door fell into its lock. As she found herself alone, relief washed over her and her heart lightened at the sensation but only until she realized it failed to carry the weight away that’s been troubling her ever since she had heard it first. It’s been two days. The worst two days of her life and perhaps only the beginning of what’s to come. Heavy grief supplanted the pleasant wash as she sank onto the soft sheets of her bed. She came to rest on her side, curling up her hands beneath her wet cheek as she sobbed. The cloth rubbed roughly against her tender skin, making her rip of the carefully wrapped bandage to reveal to her fingers reddened by blood. She saw the prick again, clearer now as the flow had stopped. Her thumb pressed again until there was another droplet.
My blood.
My mothers.
My…fathers?
Who…
Who am I?
remember when in the books uhtred broke his nose and alfred tipped his head up by his chin to check and uhtred allowed him and stared in his eyes the whole time and then alfred whole ass smiled and told him he thought he would have never seen him again and then and then when they got to speak alone like twenty pages later alfred whole ass added that he had missed him