Beneath the old oak tree, Ser Duncan the Tall sat with a small knife in hand, carving neat strips from a haunch of roasted mutton. Before him, sat the most unlikely of being.
A small dragon no larger than a hound, crimson-scaled with bright mismatched eyes.
Lord Baelor Breakspear of House Targaryen was this being, now with his tail curled close, wings tucked tight behind a dark red sash, staring at the falling leaves quietly.
Duncan handed a small size of sliced mutton.
“My lord…here. It's mutton. Tender, me thinks.”
The little dragon turned slowly, taking a moment to look at the meat then at the Hedge Knight. After a pause, Baelor turned away with his tail flickering like a sigh.
“Ser Duncan…”
“Yes, my lord?”
“Tell me…do you not find my form…disappointing?”
Duncan blinked, knife stilled mid-cut for the next slice.
“Beg your pardon, my lord?”
“Aye.” Baelor’s voice, though smaller now, held a shameful tightness. “A prince of the blood. A descendant of dragons most terrible and grand...now reduced to a mere creature fit for a lady's lap or a child's toy." He gave a small, bitter huff, a wisp of smoke curling from his nostrils.
Duncan frowned, as though the notion was foreign with him.
“I’m…not sure why I should, my lord.”
The dragon gave him a stern look, even in a smaller form, those gaze were penetrating as ever.
“Not sure? You see me like so and feel no mockery in it?”
“I see you,” Duncan said simply.
The words however, managed to quell the irrational anger stirring in the dragon's belly.
Baelor’s wings twitched, uncertain. “I'm scarcely larger than your boot.”
“I see my prince,” Duncan answered, as if it were the most obvious truth in all the Seven (Nine) Kingdoms. “My lord, size has never weighed much in my reckonings. I’ve known men twice your height with half your courage.”
Baelor let out a soft scoff. “Flattery sits ill upon you, Ser Duncan.”
“I think not, just speaking my mind and heart, m'lord.” Duncan set the knife aside and leaned his forearms upon his knees, meeting those bright dragon-eyes squarely.
"You are…facing this curse, miracle? Whichever Lord Maekar deemed it to be, with a composure of a Prince. You speak still as you did, think just as you did. If anything's changed, it is only what I can see with my eyes. You are very much still yourself."
Baelor was quiet at that.
“I had thought…” Baelor murmured softly, a small wheeze escaped his nostril, “that you might look upon me and find me…lesser.”
Duncan’s brow furrowed, offended.
“I’d not think you lesser if you were a mouse, my lord.”
At that, Baelor huffed again, scales shifted to a half smile.
“A mouse?”
“Aye. Though I’d wager you’d be a fearsome one.”
A small, reluctant sound escaped Baelor, it sounded much like a thrill with a deep rumble, a laughter.
Duncan held out the slice of meat, silently urging him to eat again.
Baelor hesitated only a heartbeat before stepping forward, claws light against Duncan’s rough skin, and took the offering with careful teeth.
The real reason Hashi got so many clans to join Konoha is bc the Senju just have the best weed pass it on
"He's so charismatic" no he's just their weed dealer
Why do u think he talks ab peace and love all the time
Senju weed empire I'm gonna fucking cry actually
Ok but you know how people have pointed out before that the Senju are noticeably better equipped with armor and stuff than the Uchiha, and how that + some other background crumbs implies they're a lot better off financially?
It's the fucking weed money
The secret senju weed empire money
Tobirama is that one guy who's like, CONCERNINGLY functional while high, to the point you can't even tell when he is (bc he is all the time)
Where did u think he got the idea for breaking time and space and raising the dead n shit from .
"But I..." starts Obito.
"Zip it," Kakashi wills Obito's mouth to shut. "Now go."
I love how the fandom has gotten excited about Kakashi edo-tenseing Obito! ❤️
While everybody's discussing the possible sick angst of it (and a bit of fun, too), my brain has supplied some outright crack..... I'm incorrigible xD
Thank you @malifiquemakes @hairybeardtongue @cool-thymus and @badninken for the new brainrot 🤭
Okay but how do we feel about Eddie the Eagle/ Into the Grizzly Maze crossover? Where a trauma stricken Rowan travels to a bear-free ski resort in Europe in order to get over his new found agoraphobia?
(Can we take a moment to appreciate these gifs even existing 🙌🐻🦅 thank youuu)
This is my first attempt at a homosexual pairing, so please let me know if I've done something incorrectly, if you have pointers, or if you like it! Thanks!
It was Shisui's fault. All of it. If only he hadn't hit on the Akatsuki gang's woman, we wouldn't be running through the dark streets while being chased by numerous lackeys armed with guns and knives and ready to teach us a lesson. I wasn't even involved, damn it. If it wasn't for my idiot cousin, I'd be at home studying right now, maybe treating myself to a few beers since it's Friday night.
"Quit running, you crow!"
What I really wanted to do was yell back at those thugs that I didn't even like women, so there was no way I was involved in disrespecting Pein's fiancee. They'd never believe me, though. In truth, I'd never said those words aloud and probably wouldn't have the courage even if there was a chance they'd consider the confession genuine.
Homosexuality wasn't illegal or nearly as publically ridiculed as it used to be, but for someone from a notable family like mine, the Uchihas, came out of the closet, it'd surely make headlines. My father would probably disown me. He was much too traditional. If it wasn't for the expectation of continuing the bloodline, Fugaku might not care. It was biologically impossible to reproduce with a man, so I'd kept my secret hidden under lock and key.
One of the benefits of being sexually subdued was that my performance in school had always been top-notch. For example, I was only nineteen and had already been in college for three years. Next year, I'd graduate and begin job shadowing to take over the military training facility run by the Uchiha family.
Black hair was rare in Amegakure, where Shisui and I were going to school. Us, and others who shared the trait, were often called "crows" by locals. It was meant to be a derogatory term, I was sure, but it didn't bother me much. I like birds, especially intelligent ones like crows, ravens, and parrots.
A loud bang made me focus on my escape once more. The sound of a bullet whizzing past me, barely missing my running form, met my ears, and I skidded to slow down enough to turn into a nearby, connecting alleyway.
"Wait 'til we catch you, Crow!"
The moon was high in the sky, but it was also cloudy, so visibility was low.
I glanced behind me to see if the pursuers would follow, only to run into something hard and nearly fall onto the ground. I stepped back, panting for breath, and looked up to see a physically imposing man's turned back. My head barely reached his broad shoulders, and his massive arms were thicker than each of my thighs.
It was too dark to see much detail, but it'd be impossible to miss the dangerous glint in his eyes when he turned to look down at me, a cigarette bouncing amidst the corner of his lips as he spoke in a gravely voice, "You gotta problem, kid?"
There was no time to explain, so I shook my head and bowed before glancing behind me again, "I'm sorry. Please excuse me."
"He went this way!" The familiar voice chasing me came from down the alleyway, making my pulse quicken again.
With one last bow, I moved to step around the tall man, only for him to grab my arm, "You in trouble?" A tiny bit more of his features were comprehensible since he'd fully turned to face me. His jaw was prominent and strong, as were his cheekbones and nose. His gray-colored eyes were slanted downward a bit, but it somehow suited his masculine features. If one word had to be used to summarize his appearance, it'd be intimidating.
I couldn't figure out how to speak under his intense gaze. That seemed to amuse him because he grinned wolfishly, showing hints of sharp teeth behind his lips, "Cat got your tongue? Don't be shy. I'm not gonna eat you. …Well, I can't promise that, but I don't plan to at the moment, anyway."
Those chasing me's quick footsteps met our ears. I acted on impulse. In one swift motion, I grabbed the stranger's arms and pulled him as I pressed my back to the brick wall of the alley so his larger frame would hide me from view. My fingers held onto him as firmly as possible, eyes searching his in a silent plea to not throw me under the bus.
The stranger's grin fell for a moment before he spat his cigarette onto the ground nearby and loomed over me. The scent of nicotine and the ocean washed over me, somehow coming off as pleasant. His lips tugged into a smirk before he stole my breath by roughly kissing me. The back of my head met the wall so I couldn't pull away, a quiet sound of surprise getting caught between our tongues.
My brow furrowed as I searched his eyes, only for an amused hum to vibrate his chest. An unfamiliar heat met my lower abdomen when rough, calloused fingers gripped my jaw to tilt it upwards and deepen the kiss. I squeezed my eyes closed, then, and kissed the man back because it was obvious he wouldn't give up until I did.
He was everywhere. There was nowhere to go because he wouldn't allow it. For some reason, that didn't terrify me like it should've.
In the back of my mind, I realized those chasing me were now passing by, ignoring us completely since we probably looked like a random drunken couple hooking up. A large hand grasped my hip, pulling it against his. The friction was arousing, as was the force. Was this something I liked? How was I to know my own preferences when this was my first kiss, much less my first makeout session, and with a stranger, at that!?
With the danger having passed, my body unconsciously relaxed into the man's. His tongue slid from my mouth, and he roughly turned my jaw to lightly kiss and bite my neck. The hot breath tickled my skin as he growled low words, "What'd you do?"
I didn't know what came over me, but one of my hands found its way into his hair, the other holding a handful of his shirt in an attempt to retain my sanity. I looked up at the cloudy night sky with hazy eyes, panting heavily and thoroughly enjoying the sensations he was giving me, "Nothing. I was seen with someone who did."
"Guilty by association."
"Mmm…"
The man chuckled into my damp skin before coming to a stand before me, the same amused expression on his face as before.
A bit of warmth met my face as he stared, but I frowned and ran a hand through my hair to soothe it from being touseled, "Thank you for the help."
Not knowing how else to show my appreciation, I reached into my back pocket for my wallet, only for him to snort, "I'm not a fuckin' prostitute."
"Then how can I…?" I trailed off, glaring down the alleyway to ensure none of the pursuers from before had turned around to double-check if they'd missed me.
"Tell me your name."
Surprised, I looked into his eyes again, "My name?"
"Give me your name, and I'll consider the debt paid, pretty little crow."
To say I was bewildered would be putting it lightly. Somewhat flabbergasted, I obliged, "Itachi."
He waited, obviously expecting my family name, as well, but I didn't give it. I couldn't. Even here, so far away from Konoha, it was likely to be recognized. He sighed, that shark-like grin meeting his mouth again as he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket, obtained one, lit it, and then took a puff while looking me over, "Well, Itachi, you gonna hang out here all night?"
A negative sound left me and an understanding aura washed over us both. This would probably be our first and only encounter. A bittersweet feeling left a bad taste on my tongue. This man was the only person who knew my secret. He had to know because of how I responded to his actions. I'd only known him for minutes, didn't know his name, and had an inkling he was a dangerous person, yet he knew me better than my own family. I could tell just by the look on his face when I hesitantly stepped around him.
Before leaving, I bowed again, sparing him one last glance before rushing down the alleyway in the direction I'd come. As I searched for my cousin, I couldn't help but wonder what kind of changes I'd have made if I'd chosen to stay in the alleyway with that intimidating man.
