when you get pushed down, you're supposed to stand back up and move forward. when you're pushed down long enough, you don't know where to stand up or where to go. not knowing what to do or what you can do is difficult. it is frustrating. it is depressing. you don't know what direction to take, every direction is scary. getting up alone is scary. everything has become scary. everyone has become scary. you don't feel loved. you don't feel appreciated. you don't feel worthy and you definitely don't feel happy. you are vulnerable nothing is interesting or worth while, friendships and relationships are viewed as if they will fail. and the same goes for many opportunities that are given. opportunities are too scary to take sometimes. life is about facing your fears, learning from mistakes, and working to become a better person when you feel like you are not. unwanted and helpless. but you are not. you are not the piece of shit that others tell you you are. you are not the piece of shit you've come to believe you are. when life gets you down, when people get you down, you have to wander. you have to wander to find where you're trying to go. where you want to go. you have to get lost and you have to start somewhere and starting is the hardest part. you have to wander to find yourself, what your values are, things you're good at. things you enjoy doing even if it means you have to face your fears. when life gets you down, when people get you down, you can't sit around and put yourself down further. you have to wander.
