Real Life Poetry

Just all my thoughts and troubles put on an obscure page away from everything. Just my way of coping with immediate problems.

[jules-blues]

“The greatest thing about being an idiot is that people are always laughing and smiling around you.”

-Julien F.

[just-shower-thoughts]

Celibacy is the ultimate not giving a fuck

[shakugan-archive]

[cowboy-garfield]

(to the rythm of ymca) Young jack, there r leaves all arround i said young jack

“-wait, nO PUT THAT GUN DOWN”

[jules-blues]

Internal Bleeding

I lay down. Looking up at the ceiling. Another blue day. Pain lingering in my chest even though it was a good day. Feeling nothing but distinct self loathing. Why can't it not hurt? I can't even point Out where the pain begins, Or where it ends. A mixture of different emotions and numbness fighting for a day in my heart. Wounds inflicted only in the heart and mind, But not on the body. Internally bleeding all over. In my lungs where it feels I'm like I'm drowning in an innate sense of misery. On my heart where it feels like it seized up and forgot to love. In my brain where it ruptures in pain whenever a bad memory presents itself. My spirit where my faith in myself is gone. All turning to dust, Whispering untruths but appealing lies into my mind. Telling me I'm worthless and petty. I am in deep considerable pain, Struggling to maintain the good in me long enough to where I can find a place to belong. A place to be me.

[meanplastic]

[obese]

Reblog if your dick hits you in the face when you run.

[jules-blues]

Feeling it again

The day progressed by as if nothing seemed out of place. But in my heart I could feel something is misplaced. It hurts. It still hurts. Nothing has truly changed. I cannot seem to figure out my woes. My terrible anxieties and flows. They haunt me, Like the wrong decisions I made in my past. Forever chasing me, reminding me of the bad. I can only reach out for temporary cures. Nothing long or lasting as the love of something pure. I'm feeling it again. I'm feeling the pain that makes me cry out in helplessness. Loneliness. I regret so much. I've done so little. I seem to be an expert on fixing everyone else's problems but my own. Cursed I am. Plagued by misfortune and ever lasting solidarity. Plunged into an endless deparity. Stop. Before my mind carries me further, Before I reach that door again, I wonder. Why does my father look down upon me? Why do my cousins abuse me? I have truly given nothing but love. Respect. Family. But in return I get betrayal, Disgust, And hurt. I truly have no one besides my mother who believes I can't care for myself, And a sister who's hell bent on destroying the family further. It sickens me. Sickens me that one family can tilt ones life in such a negative light. I can no longer hold much love and respect for my father, I have disowned my self-devouring cousins. But at what cost? Emptiness. TRUE emptiness. Who else can I turn too? A stranger? No. I've gone on too long in the dark. Maybe it would be better to stay here. At least the shadows stick around. At least they won't hurt me.

[jules-blues]

Stars

The beauty that resonates in the sky, Makes the boy lay down a send out a sigh. “Look at them dance” he says to no one in particular. “They look happy together up there. But why am I down here alone?” He dreamed a star would swoop down and ask him to join them.

He would climb through the stratosphere into the atmosphere piercing the ozone to get to space. Clutching the star with both of his hands. He wasn’t alone up there dancing with them. The boy felt like he belonged. But then the star he danced with told him that he had to move to a new dance partner and let go. The boy knew he was a terrible dancer when alone but without the star supporting him, He fell.

I fell. Hurtling back to earth as a shooting star Light and stardust melting off me as I fall at the speed of sound. The heat and fire consuming me as I hurtle to the ground. I crash back into my sleeping body.

I wake up from the dream and continue looking at the stars. Still dancing, And a shooting star zips across the sky. An unlucky fellow that couldn’t find a dance partner, I guess that’s what we are. Unlucky.

[jules-blues]

Trivial matters

The eyes are the windows to the soul. If that's the case mine have slowly become opaque. Almost shutting out the real me from the world. Its been a rough day today. Fighting feelings of frustration and sadness, Emptiness and solitude, It's tiring work. Keeping positive is hard. I say it over and over again because it's my coping mechanism. My ventilation of negative crap thats built up over the past week. It feels good to say I've had about enough. Sometimes you gotta look deep inside yourself and ask what am I willing to put up with today? Not fucking this. Truck on I say, Fight the good fight. Because everyone crosses a finish line one way or another. Might as well make mine nice.

[jules-blues]

A Searcher

Here's a place that hasn't been touched, A place that man hasn't discovered. My mind. As a fellow searcher I must warn those from jumping in, Because all the science in the world cannot explain the infinite discoveries that can held within my brain. The same can be said for yours as well. Imagine, We are all searching for the one thing that completes us. Where can we find that solution? Deep inside ourselves. Many of us searchers are still searching. Looking for that answer. Some have found that solution. They are indeed lucky. What can be done to make the quest easier? It cannot be said for the most mysterious thing, Is that each mind is its own discovery, It's own adventure. One mind is not like the other making our search different every single time. Look deep inside yourself for their is always that special solution to your pain. Your problems and fear. We have our counter weapons, All you need to do is search for them.

[bleeply]

personal reminder: stop being so fucking hard on yourself

[jules-blues]

One of my days

Wake up feeling empty. Checked my phone for anything new. Saw nothing as usual. Put the phone down and looked at the ceiling. Began to lapse into thought. For the majority of folk depression is a rampant and spreading mental disorder that has affected a large percentage of the teenage and adult population. I am one of them. However, what irritates me more then myself, is the whiny and give up attitude that I witness others do. I mean true I write on here about giving up, But I have never done so and I strive to make each and every day a better one to smile about. These other folk give into the depression. It's like they enjoy that emptiness, That unbearable pain and the attention it brings them. It's my greatest shame not knowing who I am as an individual. I want the answer but these people couldn't care less. It's as if they want depression to steer them off the edge. True many have suffered tragedies that make my problems look insignificant. In fact I use that as my reason to not let depression win. If some man just lost his kids and money to his ex wife who cheated on him, Of course he has every right to be depressed and sad. If a woman has just been raped or lost a relative, Of course they are going to feel some intense level of pain and depression. But letting these events shape you into a lesser person is not right. I pray that I can find my way in the future and that many others will too. There will always be hope.

[jules-blues]

Windowsill

I sit here. I think about all the people I don't talk to anymore. It sucks. How some of them hurt me so bad, How some of them made me smile. Never to be heard from again. Gosh. I just added another to the list. A pretty girl. Nothing wrong, Just a poorly timed try at a relationship. Still really stinks because now talking to her feels pointless. I don't want it to be that way. Before her I fell in love. The girl who got away, took a piece of me with her. I'm still looking for that piece. But I recovered without it. Human beings can live without their frontal lobe of their brain, I think I can survive without a piece of my heart. I sit here. Alone. Friends have all found someone they care for, Gone through their relationships. Experienced what it meant to have some other human being care for you on their own free accord. I'm still looking for my first relationship. I sit here doubting myself, Thinking is it me??? What can I do differently. Is it so hard to ask for a girl to love herself enough to show me her true beauty? Alone. God this cold feeling is like a steel knife sitting in between my ribs. With an Agonizingly empty chest. Gotta keep positive... Find a way to keep going... Yeah... No this is hard. So hard in fact, I considered my options. College seems too good to be true. It's not what everyone says, Love doesn't just fall into your lap or the right person doesn't just come up to you on a silver platter. No, You gotta shovel through a lot of shitty and decent people to find the one. I've just been shoveling through pile after pile after pile... It's tiring. Should I keep trying. I sit here on my windowsill dreaming, That one day someone will sit with me, And stay forever.

[emery-lh]

I am not afraid of the dark, I’ve been there too many times.

(via emeryloveheart)

[poems-and-words]

[jules-blues]

A Strong man

There comes a time, When a strong man steps into an abhorrent vacuum. Taking control of a raging battle, Leading a band of disheartened soldiers to victory. Chanting their war cry as they are led into a slaughter. Dying for what they believe in. Fighting for their freedom. I dream of being that commander. Feeling the adrenaline surge through ones mind and heart as life flies by like the bullets grazing ones cheek. Blood tricking from the small cuts left behind. Oh how I'll never see it that way, In today's time a strong man is measured by how big his wallet is. A wealthy man is not always a strong man. And those who are internally and morally strong. We don't matter anymore. We are but a dying aptitude of men that will never be accepted into the care of someone special. In steps the strong man, Out steps the disheartened soldier of life, Leading his fellow strong men into a chasm. Knowing all to well the outcome, But steadfast in their ways of being righteous and right. Where only death and darkness await. Engulfing the hearts of all those who entered.