June Sirius

Writer | destiel, cockles, castledevil, merthur, obikin, captainswan, etc. June_Sirius on AO3

[junesirius]

just learned a beautiful word from Merriam-Webster's word of the day: "redolent," and it has a very beautiful example sentence: "The late-spring meadow was redolent of wildflowers and petrichor." And I'm falling in love with the word "petrichor" too.

And that reminds me, of all the Alpha/Beta/Omega stories of Destiel fic that I've read (or those that are not ABO but also have smell descriptions), Cas's smell is almost always described as something like ozone, sky, storm, fresh air, occasionally something vegetation-related, like pines or grass. But never once have I read something like what's in that beautiful example sentence: "He was redolent of wildflowers and petrichor." It's close enough to the smell of storm or ozone and coming from sky, but "petrichor"! So much more down to Earth and soil. I imagine his smell will change too as he starts falling and changing, getting closer to Earth, figuratively and literally. Dean might smell the sky from him when they first met, and then rain and storm, then petrichor, soil and grass, and honey, even just the smell itself could tell him how much closer Cas gets to him, falls for him, how much he loves him and allows himself to feel the love.

[junesirius]

Cas: You couldn't forgive me. And you couldn't move on. You were too angry.

Dean: I hope you can hear me... that wherever you are, it's not too late. I should've stopped you. You're my best friend, but I just let you go. 'Cause it was easier than admitting I was wrong. I don't know why I get so angry. I just know - I know that it's - it's just always been there. And when things go bad, it just - it comes out. And I can't - I can't stop it. No matter how - how bad I want to, I just can't stop it. And - And I - I forgive you. Of course I forgive you. I'm sorry it took me so long - I'm sorry it took me till now to say it. Cas, I'm - I'm so sorry. Man, I hope you can hear me. I hope you can hear me.

had some very recent first-hand experience and just finished reading a pretty angsty destiel story ("Grey"), that only till now did I start understanding this part about forgiveness and anger. I didn't like it too much on my first (and first ten times) of watching, especially the part when Dean said "I don't know why I get so angry" and that he can't stop it no matter how bad he wants to. I didn't like it because it sounds too much like the violent man in a domestic violence case claiming the reason why he's beating his partner is just "he's too angry and he doesn't know why or how and he couldn't stop it". That sounds too much like just an excuse for losing control, and I couldn't really resonate with him. Until now.

Until now I realize there's anger in me that's just as strong as Dean, even though I don't express it in violence, but it's still also anger. And there're things and people that are close to me but I find it really really difficult to emotionally truly forgive. I didn't realize how difficult it really is to truly forgive. Emotionally forgiving is way harder than reasonably forgiving. Because I still love them and care for them, I don't want to hurt them, so I would tell them "I forgive you", and even "I forgave you long time ago", because I really want to forgive them, my own reasonable mind really want to believe that and do that. But emotionally I'd still be too hurt and there's too much pain in the memory to really forgive, to move on. Like Cas said, "You couldn't forgive me. And you couldn't move on. You were too angry." I realize, I know exactly how that feel like, how Dean's feeling. And why.

Anger is a facade, a self-protection to not wanting to feel hurt, not to feel vulnerable. If anger can keep you not thinking about how painful you were when you were hurt, when you were wronged, how powerless and vulnerable you were at those moments you find too difficult to forgive and forget, then anger makes you feel powerful and safe, and so you would just so comfortably resort to anger as your handling mechanism. Anger might not always show up or be expressed the same way, some show it as violence, some might just show as distance estrangement, a silent treatment, a cold war. Anger in all forms is your way of finding the power you didn't have then but you could use now, and punishing the others for the hurt they caused. Even though sometimes it might not be their fault, sometimes things happened for a perfectly good reason, sometimes things were just meant to be, they just happened out of nowhere, out of control of anyone, but as long as you can find the one to blame and make yourself stay angry, then it might just start to feel like you're in control again, that things make sense again, that you might feel a little bit safer.

Dean intuitively resorts to anger, all this time, ever since childhood, because it's too painful to admit how powerless and vulnerable he really feels, that he's hurt. Just the same as "not talking about feelings," it's his way of self-protection. And after this many years of practice, there is no way he can let this go easily.

Which makes the true tearful "I forgive you" at the verge of losing Cas and letting the anger go and moving on to not lose him again so much more powerful and touching. He's willing to feel that pain and vulnerable and powerless feeling again when the world is out of control and overwhelming, just so that he could get Cas back. Who said he doesn't do feelings? He does feelings, so deeply and profoundly, reach deep inside himself, cut himself open, because he knows what really matters. Because Cas really matters. Because Cas is the only one that he realizes he shouldn't have his self-protection on to be with, and he's willing to feel all those things if it means he can have Cas back.

[lizleeships]

There will be no vessel/body-shaming in house Winchester. But flustering the angel is okay.

(Important: Part one is here!, and PART 3 is here.)

Ugh this took me like 30 hours lol, but it consumed my life for the past few weeks because I’d just really wanted to continue that TrueForm comic but hadn’t the motivation at the time.

 I just wanted to play more with Cas’ vessel glitching out I guess because OMG true form shenanigans? YES PLEASE. Poor guy, I like putting him through the ringer. (And yeah, I left his true form to just the Impala head, read into it what you will… other than the fact that I was too lazy to draw 3 other heads, argh.) Also, I’m living for the idea that Dean would fanboy the crap out of Cas’ true form, and be too enthralled with it to even mind Sam’s teasing.

Anyway, I hope this cheers some folks up in light of the big news we heard about season 15. I was pretty sad, but the fandom shall live on! 

Also, if you like my work, and could find it in your heart to donate to my Ko-Fi, it would make me incredibly happy. 

HOPE YOU LIKE!

[junesirius]

almost missed the part 2 and 3!!! Love this version of Cas' true form so damn much, god, still the best I've ever seen

[junesirius]

S01E18 What if 6-year-old Sam was killed by the Shtriga that night

So in S01E18 Something Wicked, 6-year-old Sam was left alone in the motel and almost killed by a Shtriga but John and Dean came back in time to save him. But what if John and Dean didn't come back in time before that Shtriga killed/ate him, what would happen then?

That would be 16 years before S01 in 1989, Dean was 10 years old, Sam died at the age of 6 years old.

John would probably blame/hate Dean so much for not obeying his order and completely dump Dean in the boy's home in Sonny's like S09E07 or Bobby's, and go off revenging Mary on his own without carrying Dean around since he's only got one son left. He might self-comfort that this is for Dean's good, it's safer for him, though he'd express that through anger and hatred and really harsh words, and Dean would think that pretty much means John disowned him for getting Sam killed. But John would also self-blame for his whole life, because to be fair he did try to use Sam as bait without even telling Dean, and it's technically his fault (not Dean's) that he got Sam killed. So John would be acting as if he has a death wish (because to be honest he was practically suicidal all the time ever since Mary died), and eventually got himself killed (since without Dean being there watching over him, he'd probably very likely get himself killed way earlier than S01 timeline). But to Dean (and Bobby and anyone else), they'd just stop hearing from John without knowing what happened to him, so from Dean's perspective, Dean would only know John stopped talking to him out of anger, and then completely went silent (without knowing if he's still just angry or really dead). But Bobby wouldn't let him go out looking for John until he's 18.

So basically Dean grows up thinking it's his fault that his brother was dead, his mother was still mysteriously burned in the fire, his father hated him so much that he basically disowned him and not talking to him for the rest of his life, and he grows up self-loathing and self-hating (just the same as canon), but without really serving as Sam's babysitter or caretaker between he's 10 and 18 (so still remember the bit between age 4-10 but not after). Does that make him more broken or slightly less burdened? (okay, not likely to be less burdened, he'd just put everything on his shoulder again and feel guilty all his life, most likely more burdened but less caretaker style)

He'd still ask Bobby to train him, but it's (hopefully) not going to be as bad as John's forced training. His motivation and focus for his training would be to avenge Sam and look for John.

So go back to S01 timeline, he goes out hunting on his own (only after Bobby thinks he's good enough and not on a death wish and wouldn't get himself killed too early, and demand him to check in regularly and if he's in trouble, he'd ask Bobby for help. So basically he got Bobby to take care of him half of his childhood now), and he goes to kill that Shtriga for good and avenges for Sam (but that grief would forever be there), and then maybe find John's trace. John may or may not be dead at that point, and then the Apocalypse starts just like canon, yellow-eyed demon (Azazel) resurfaces, John might have a lead, Dean follows the lead, the two fight Azazel (but John still doesn't forgive Dean and Dean doesn't forgive himself).

MAIN twist: Since Azazel does really need Sam to be alive (and Heaven wants the Apocalypse to happen too), so Zachariah has always been working with Azazel (at least to monitor and occasionally help his progress). Sam died as a kid and because he didn't do anything wrong, his soul should be in Heaven which should be easy for angels to resurrect him like they did Adam in canon (unless because of the demon blood, demons stole his soul to Hell when he died at 6? and then have been raising him in Hell ever since? In a Hell version of reality but so close to the real world that the kid Sam couldn't tell the difference? Maybe they even have a fake-Dean and fake-John, shapeshifted by some demon, and kid-Sam can't tell the difference and believes he was brought up like that. And the fake Dean/John treated him really badly, and the whole Hell version of the world is really bad, but that's what Sam grew up with and believed to be true, so he doesn't suspect or know any better. Maybe Azazel would insert himself in Sam's childhood too, and maybe act a really kind good role in Sam's life, so Sam knows him and trusts him way more than his connection to Dean and John).

So now around S04 timeline Apocalypse starts, Azazel/Zachariah brings Sam back alive but the demon raised version, and the grownup Dean and grownup Sam meet again for the first time, Dean is all guilty and grieving and self-hatred and can't believe, Sam is all not trusting Dean and hating John and dark and twisted by the demons (Azazel might give him a version of story how John dumped him and used him as bait, which isn't too far from truth) and very willing to lead the demon army.

Dean doesn't know if he can trust Sam (which he really can't, for this version of Sam at least, which actually might be one of the Chuck's universe version, just wanting to see the brothers killing each other and very close to achieve it, since he can't see a way they wouldn't kill each other), doesn't know if he should be happy that Sam is alive again (which he probably shouldn't, since it's exactly like S01 when Azazel asks him "are you sure the Sam you brought back is the same Sam" and in this case more extremely different and wrong).

So Sam is already starting to lead the demon army and the Apocalypse is really starting to look like demons are going to win very easily (Sam is working on the 66 seals to free Lucifer, and he's way more efficient and capable than Ruby, and he knows the whole plan in the first place about Lilith's death etc.). And Dean is desperate and torn but still doesn't want to hurt Sam even if he has witnessed all the demonic things Sam's doing (since he's really practically a demon now).

And then angels come, Cas tells Dean about the Apocalypse and everything, just like S04, and that Dean will have to kill Sam (which Dean rejects, which makes Dean not trusting angels just as much as he's torn about Sam), Dean still believing he can bring Sam back to normal/human way (which Cas will tell him it's not possible because it's not like Sam has been just briefly corrupted/deceived, he's brought up like that, Cas will tell him if only Sam was brought up differently, say if he has his father or brother with him everything would still have hope, but now it's the only way), but Dean would still refuse to kill Sam no matter what, so Cas will have to do it. And then Sam is likely going to have to kill Cas (or Azazel or Zachariah will have to do it), so similar to S04 ending, Cas will die (but Chuck will bring him back because he's interesting to watch). At some point here Cas might hesitate a little bit when he's about to kill Sam because he remembers how devastated Dean is and he wavers because he suddenly starts growing free will and doesn't want Dean hurt and he does realize losing Sam again would hurt Dean really badly, so he just hesitates a second, and that's enough for Sam to fight back and kill him. And likely Dean witnesses the whole thing and is devastated when realizing Cas's choice but still can't save both of them. Maybe Sam would even try to kill Dean too, or maybe he'd succeed too (but even if he does, Heaven would bring Dean back because they'd need him).

And then Lucifer will come and Sam will very quickly say yes and he turns into Lucifer like S05E04 End Verse version. Michael brings Dean back alive, Chuck brings Cas back, they have a second round like S05. Dean will have to say yes because that's the only way now, Michael will take over (but Dean will still try to fight like S14 with alternative universe Michael). Michael!Dean and Lucifer!Sam will fight.

(main focus/character arc of the whole story will be, because of Dean's love, Cas starts realizing how much potential human soul has, and he changes from not believing Sam can be changed back to starting to believe that because Dean believes that and Dean loves Sam so much (as a brother); and also because of Dean's love, Sam starts (very very slowly) seeing the real world's beauty side, not the Hell version of the world, and the real Dean is different from the demon!Dean version that he's always thought was the real Dean, and actually turns back into more human and willing to die to protect this real world and not let Hell take over it.)

So eventually in the big S05 showdown, Sam takes over Lucifer, Dean takes over Michael, Sam is willing to sacrifice to preserve the real human world (but still feels pity that he didn't get to live more of it), Dean can't throw Michael out, so the only way is to jump into the Cage with Sam. And basically leave Cas alone outside (maybe Michael/Lucifer would have killed him again for standing on their way, or when he tries to get Dean free from Michael; if Cas didn't die, Dean might ask Cas to take care of Bobby and the human world.)

(another thing to remember: the first seal broke is when the Righteous Man starts killing in Hell. So either John or Dean will have to go to Hell, according to everyone's plan. So maybe it's John, which makes the plan easier. John would have died (e.g. killed by Azazel) and would naturally most definitely go to Hell (because of how guilty and angry and hurtful things he's done, how many actual people he's hurt and caused to die including Jo's father and other hunters), and he'll break when he sees Sam in Hell, so there'd be a scene between John and Sam in Hell, and maybe Sam is high position in Hell by then and he'd be the one to torture John and break John. But then what do we do about "The Righteous Man who breaks the first seal will be the one who finishes the war"? So here we'd want Dean to be the one who finishes the war, or maybe just throw this way, since this is just one line in Chuck's plan and everyone might just break Chuck's Great Plan too much by making those random free will choices and throw Michael/Lucifer in and ruin the plan.)

So now John is still in Hell, Sam&Lucifer and Dean&Michael all in the Cage, only Cas outside. Bobby would tell Cas to let it go, it's all over now (which is technically true, without Michael/Lucifer, no more Apocalypse, somewhere in the middle we'd get rid of Zachariah too, maybe Dean would have killed him the same way as canon), don't try to save Dean/Sam out of Cage, don't risk letting Michael/Lucifer out. Cas might agree that's the reasonable thing and we have a fake ending here, but he's actually going to save them from the Cage because he just can't not save Dean (which starts the 2nd series).

So 2nd story of the series follows it up, almost the same as S05 finale near the very ending, canon Sam was resurrected by Cas, so we know Cas would be able to bust into Cage and drag Sam and Dean out without letting Lucifer/Michael out, but something would have gone wrong, someone's soul is left behind. Maybe that's bad enough of a fight, Cas only gets Dean out, or gets Dean (with soul and everything, because he'd focus so much on him to make sure of it) and partial Sam (without soul, or without body, or just something wrong). And in Heaven, there's also still the fight between Raphael and Cas's followers who believed in Cas, so the angel civil war resumes. Cas would still try to find Purgatory (maybe not getting Dean/Sam out so quickly so the two/four of them get to know each other all a little bit better, Michael/Lucifer would get to know each other more too, but there're still fundamental differences, none of them among the four really get reconciled, just got more complicated; so maybe when Cas comes to rescue, hard to say who would help who. Maybe Sam doesn't even want to get out, so maybe only Michael really want to get out, Dean wants to get Sam out but Sam doesn't want, Lucifer doesn't want Sam out, so maybe Cas can only barely get Dean out, Michael get out by himself, some part of Sam and some part of Lucifer out, and Cas barely survive or actually died again during the process; Dean asks Michael to bring Cas back alive in exchange for getting him out, so now we got whole bunch angels out again. Good thing is with Michael out, Raphael doesn't get much of a say, but Apocalypse might still be on the schedule, just like Bobby warned Cas.)

During the previous process when stopping the Apocalypse for the first time, Gabriel would have died the same way as S05, but when Michael gets back, he'd probably know Gabriel is still alive and save him from Asmodeus. But now maybe Dean/Cas figure out the only way to stop Apocalypse is to kill Michael/Lucifer/Raphael permanently, and to do that they'd need to get the archangel blade from Gabriel. (there'd be a whole bunch of angel relationship/family messes here, but don't want to shift focus to angels family matter, still focus on Winchesters: There's still the grudge between John/Sam/Dean, Sam would still want to torture John for his death and upbringing, Dean suffered as much but still messed up enough to believe John has a good reason to treat him like that so he's for the most part stand by John's side but also still hurt and scared when interacting with John.) Maybe that's how Lucifer coaxed Sam, saying once they take over Earth, he could do anything to John as he wants, so Dean's main focus isn't even saving Earth/Apocalypse, he'd have to stop Sam from hurting John (and then stops Lucifer), and stop John from wanting to hurt/kill Sam (since canon John asked Dean to kill Sam when he turns into monster and now Sam is practically that, so it's up to John if he wants to do it himself), and Lucifer only wants to win over Michael and Michael wants to prove he's the good son.

At some point Chuck will have to intervene and move things forward faster (and it's already really slow and messy), and so they all get to meet Chuck and fight Chuck again. Cas might would have found the Purgatory again (but the writer here really doesn't want to handle the Leviathan stuff again), but maybe they can use Leviathans to fight against Chuck? Since Chuck dislikes them enough to bother creating a specific place (Purgatory) to lock them up, maybe he's afraid of them too, so if they set loose Leviathan to give Chuck enough trouble and distract him, they might get a chance at winning, so almost like S07 rewrite but combine with S10 and S14-15. (but skip ahead to not include the MoC or Cain or Metatron storyline, just directly from S06-ish to S14 fighting God storyline to keep it simple)

So basically the point is, of all the people fighting/hating/hurting/healing, Dean's the most human and loving person, and he lets everyone see the love and free will and how human way can work, that include making Cas choose human (him), making Sam turning back to human side, making Michael/Lucifer/Gabriel not destroy the world, making Chuck not destroy the world (or they find a way to kill Chuck). And maybe someone finds a way to rewind the time back to 1989 on that night when Sam was 6 and Dean was 10, Chuck changes the past by making Dean go back inside earlier and John saves Sam from Shtriga just in time, so Sam didn't die that night (maybe this is Chuck's self-saving proposal when they're just about to kill him, he fixes this and they let him go). And so now we fully converge back to canon, John rushes into the room saving Sam and he got so scared and distracted as if he's already lost Sam he didn't even bother chasing after the Shtriga, making it the first and only monster who's ever escaped from him; Dean's so scared too and almost feel as if he has the hallucination of the whole alternate life where Sam died at that moment and everything went so wrong, but quickly not remembering that. John blames him hard after and Dean thinks he deserves it. John demands him to protect Sam with his life and never let him get harmed, and Dean follows the order for the rest of his life without knowing the alternative. Sam grows up being taken well care of by Dean and becomes the normal decent human he is, exactly follows the canon. Dean still feels the whole lot of loss because he doesn't remember Cas and he feels he lost something important (the pain and torture was already there before the whole timeline rewind when Chuck proposed it, warned them they wouldn't have met or known each other if they just wipe this whole thing, they said their goodbyes and maybe kissed depending on how far their slow-burn goes, but Dean still believed that was the right way, Sam shouldn't have grown up that way in Hell and everything shouldn't go down like that, it was just not right, so even if the cost is to lose Cas or have to meet all over again, he'd decided to take it (painfully) in exchange for a new chance for Sam and everyone), but then S04 timeline Cas comes to him again for the first time, and Dean feels familiar and actually smiles. Instead of the blade to the heart, Dean goes to hug him like he's finally got back THE thing he's lost; Cas doesn't really remember and surprised, but it does feel natural and he leans in and hugs back, asks Dean why he did that, Dean can't explain, just thinking it's his gut telling him to do that, hugging him like he just found the other lost half of his life. The end.

(So I basically just suddenly wrote a long canon divergent/compliant outline draft out of the blue in the middle of the night when I should go to bed, rewriting from 16 years before S01, then rewrote the entire S01-S05, then cherry-picked a few things from S06-S15 and converged it back to S01 and wrapped it up to S04. Not sure if I'd ever really write this whole thing, and if I do, I suspect this story would piss a lot of people off, since it would write Sam in a really unpleasant unwelcoming unlovable way, and there might not be enough of destiel to make a destiel-popular story with the amount of Dean/Sam/John mess and focus there (because initially I was thinking of it as a Dean-centered character study kinda of what-if idea, but then it got expanded, and then Cas comes in, and then naturally there has to have destiel there). I don't even know if the draft is readable enough, I know it must be super messy since it just comes straight out of my brain the way any messy raw material vomit-dumping writing is. A lot of things/plots/character relationships weren't really handled/smoothened. Converging back to canon is just a lazy way of wrapping it up, I know, because I couldn't think of a proper way of how this could have ended well. The only really really personal thing I wanted to touch on there was the tension between John and Dean after the what-if Sam's death and the anger and disconnection and silence and guilt and grief, and I have no idea how that can possibly be fixed, but it's just so close to heart that I needed it out, either as an idea or as a story. But in any case, this is what came to my brain tonight, so this is what I'm sharing here. Like it or leave it, comment only if you like it, thank you very much; and just go away if you don't, I don't need to hear the critics, it's been a long enough day already.)

[junesirius]

made a devil's trap for my Baby's trunk, and holy crap does it look awesome

hidden just perfectly under the mat, just like how they used to like to paint under the carpet (and ruined Crowley's favorite pricy rug)

made it with ripstop nylon fabric and nylon tape, and damn I love that tape's texture and color (I'd definitely get more of that after using up what I got for this little art project), and it's strong and thin and lightweighted and waterproof and tear-proof (which is important, right? just in case demons trapped in the truck start struggling and tear apart the trap to escape)

some intermediate in-progress photos:

It only took a little more than two hours last night to make it. Funny thing how I suddenly just on a whim after midnight decided to make this, and I got all the materials I needed, so just took a bit of time to measure the circle and size right so the pentagon can be the perfect right shape, then cut the tapes and make the thing. It ends up so much more awesome than I expected! I'm so happy with how it turned out.

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2026 | Day 25: Fix-it

There'll be peace when you are done - are you done? | @brainfuzz Rating: General Word Count: 3,216 Main Tags/Warnings: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester Castiel/Dean Winchester Sam Winchester Dean Winchester Castiel Bobby Singer Post-Finale Post-Canon Fix-It Fix-It Summary: Canon compliant to the very end, and fixes everything wrong with Dean dying early.

Another Star Denies The Grave | @lishpwee Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 3,887 Main Tags/Warnings: Angst with a happy ending, canon typical suicidality, post-canon fix-it, 15x20 is dead to me, human!Cas Summary: Castiel returns in a field. He can’t stop thinking about his confession, and what it means going forward. But Dean might not remember that night the same way Cas does.

You’ve Had Me For Years | @lishpwee Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 3,923 Main Tags/Warnings: Angst with a happy ending, canon typical suicidality, post-canon fix-it, 15x20 is dead to me, angel!Cas, trueform!Cas Summary: Chuck's gone, and everything is right with the world. Except that Cas is still in The Empty. And Dean just can't let that go.

I can't resist you | @youchangedmedestiel Rating: Explicit Word Count: 5,186 Main Tags/Warnings: Post-Canon Fix-It, Everybody Lives, Jack Kline is Not God, Saileen Mentioned, Domesticity in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Kissing, Neck Kissing, Fluff and Smut, Attempt at Humor, Deansturbation, Masturbation, Teasing, Smut, Hand Jobs, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Two Endings Summary: Dean and Cas waited 12 years to finally be together. So, they think they can resist each other, but do they?

I Sleep So I Can See You | @sam-wilsons-couch Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 5,474 Main Tags/Warnings: Warnings: None; Tags: Fix-It, Post-Canon Fix-It, post- s15 ep 19 fix-it, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dean Winchester Confesses Feelings for Castiel, Jack Kline Saves Castiel from the Empty, brief mentions of internalized homophobia, Dean Winchester Overcomes Internalized Homophobia, Happy Ending, Homophobic John Winchester, Mentioned John Winchester, John Winchester Hate Club, I'll always find a way to hate on John Winchester Summary: After the Empty takes Castiel, after they defeat Chuck, Dean is left broken at the loss of his best friend and the love of his life. Love that he never got to confess to. Sam tries his best to hold the pieces of Dean together, and he prays and hopes that Castiel will come back, maybe Jack can do something, just one last time, as he knows his brother won't be able to survive the loss this time.

So Long We'd Become the Flowers | @entropic-saudade Rating: Mature Word Count: 5,711 Main Tags/Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Post-Canon, Canonical Character Death, Fix-It Of Sorts, Presumed/Implied Temporary Major Character Death, Hanahaki Disease, Grief/Mourning, Language of the Flowers, Body Horror, Horror Elements, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Dean Winchester Character Study, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Hopeful Ending Summary: The first petal fell on a hunt in Ohio. Every petal that Dean coughed up after felt like salvation. He didn’t have to hide anymore, or even do the work of admitting the truth to himself. The flowers did that for him. And they’d do it ‘til they killed him. Or: Dean gets Hanahaki Disease after Cas' confession in "Despair."

He Used to be Mine | @krexhatespushups-blog Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 8,527 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate universe-canon divergence, grief/mourning, post S15 ep 20, angst with a happy ending, castiel needs a hug, original female character, fix it fic, canonical character death Summary: Castiel never expected to come back, he had resigned himself to staying in The Empty for the rest of time. He had spoken his truth, and those three words saved the world, but more importantly, those three words saved Dean Winchester. Castiel never expected to live in a world where Dean Winchester didn't exist, so when Jack pulled him out, the first words out of his mouth were: Where’s Dean?

I Go to Sleep | @teeparadigm67 Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 8,544 Main Tags/Warnings: Empty Rescue, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Castiel is Saved from the Empty, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Castiel and Dean Winchester Use Their Words, Canon-Typical Violence Summary: Alone and asleep in the Empty Castiel dreams. Usually, vivid, painful nightmares fabricated by the dark with his beloved front and centre of these retched dreams. But even though Dean was the main focus his presence still comforted Castiel, it meant that no matter how bad it got the Empty would never let him forget him or the things he was capable of. Which makes it all the more compelling when his righteous man is right there, knelt over him in the dark with the promise of taking him home. Is this real? Or is Castiel still asleep? Inspired by: I Go To Sleep - Peggy Lee

oh, darling, will you still walk me home? | @ksoleil7 Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 9,069 Main Tags/Warnings: Post-Canon Fix-It, Castiel is Saved from the Empty (Supernatural), POV Castiel (Supernatural), Touch-Starved Dean Winchester, Touch-Starved Castiel (Supernatural), The Empty (Supernatural), Non-Sexual Intimacy, Sensory Overload, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Sharing Clothes, One Shot, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s15e18 Despair (Supernatural), Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair (Supernatural) Summary: It ends with a chasm, and him, swallowed. It ends with, don't do this, Cas. Castiel has never been very good at following orders. Cas comes home and gets the happy ending he deserved

The Most Stubborn Angel of the Garrison | @godstiel-collins Rating: Mature Word Count: 9,090 Main Tags/Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Castiel/Dean Winchester post 15x20, Post-Canon Fix-It, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Pining Dean Winchester, Angst with a Happy Ending, Summary: " “And… Can we talk about that goodbye a little bit?” “No.” was all that Castiel said, and before Dean could even make sense of it, the angel was gone, leaving a very confused Winchester behind. " Cas is back from the Empty, but seems hell-bent on not talking about anything he said to Dean before dying. But it's ok, Dean is handling it like a pro. (Except he really isn't)

The Tear, The Hole, The Empty | @junesirius Rating: General Word Count: 10,322 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Divergent, Fix-It, Canon Temporary Character Death, Angst, Mutual Pining, Confessions Summary: Where does one go, when there is nothing left in them to be taken, when the hole in the heart is so vast that there is no heart remains, when the surrounding and the whole world matter nothing and have no difference to pure dark and black, indistinguishable from the void, when themselves are empty. Where do they go?

From Within | @farenmaddox Rating: Explicit Word Count: 10,994 Main Tags/Warnings: Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Domestic Fluff, Castiel Wears a Skirt, Castiel's Loss of Angelic Grace, Bottoming from the Top Summary: It's a year out from rescuing Cas from the Empty (again), a year since Dean and Cas could finally have what they both wanted — but for Cas, it still doesn't feel like a happy ending. His grace is never going to be what it was once, and he is struggling to come to terms with it. He finds an interesting coping mechanism, tries to hide it, and finds out that Dean is no longer willing to accept any secrets between them.

How to Not Only Survive, But Thrive in The Afterlife by Dean Winchester (WIP) | @maraschinoSqueeze Rating: Explicit Word Count: 13,859 Main Tags/Warnings: Light dom/sub, dubcon not between Dean/Cas, post s15, Dean saves Cas from the Empty, Dean curses… a lot Summary: Dean is basically a pro at being dead. He could write a book. Hell, he should write a book. You know what? As soon as he gets the fuck out of here he is going to write a book. If Chuck can profit off their shitty fucked up lives, why can't Dean? Those Huntercorp Winchesters made money off hunting. Fuck... you know this is actually a really good idea. Dean's gonna write a— Oh fuck! We can hash out the details later. Gotta run!

Heat Lightning | @norahastuff Rating: Mature Word Count: 14,345 Main Tags/Warnings: Post canon, 15x20 does not exist, except for Cas to subvert, late night conversations, wine bar dates, motels, The Power of Love tm Summary: ‘’Maybe Dean was crazy. He was smoking a Newport that had burned down to its filter and having a one-sided conversation with a potentially non-existent celestial being that lived in the sky. He owed the bible-thumpers an apology; turned out faith was easier to fall victim to than he’d thought.’’ Winning is the easy part. Since the end is no longer nigh, all that’s left to do is live. Easier said than done, but Dean’s not giving up. There’s no margin for error here. Not now. Not with Cas. He has to get it right this time. For Castiel, duty has always come before anything else. His wants, his desires have never really been relevant. Dean seems to think they are, though, and Castiel has no idea what to do with that.

There'll Be Peace | @ishipdestiel Rating: Mature Word Count: 19,270 Main Tags/Warnings: Major Character Death, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Canon-typical Violence, Adult Language, Destiel-freeform, Love Confessions, Soulmates, Happy Ending Summary: A Supernatural Series Finale fix-it. This is my personal version of how things should have ended.

Monster Crush | @thefandomsinhalor Rating: Mature Word Count: 22,441 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Divergent, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Sleepy Cuddles, Creature Castiel, Angel Castiel, Hurt Dean Winchester, S07E01 Meet the New Boss Summary: With Godstiel’s reign finally over and all the souls back in purgatory, Dean is aggravated to learn that yet another problem has surfaced: Castiel, after recovering from the ritual, appears to be growing monster parts. Castiel believes it will wear off. Dean has trust issues. Still hurt by his betrayal, Dean nonetheless decides that he and his mega-monster-shifter angel should lay-low somewhere isolated until they know more. Which makes it very complicated for him to give Castiel the cold shoulder.

Revenge of the Text | @mittensmorgul Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 25,427 Main Tags/Warnings: Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, POV Alternating, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Alternate Canon, canon divergence from near the end of s15e19 Inherit The Earth, Castiel is Saved from the Empty (Supernatural), Human Castiel (Supernatural), Free Will Summary: Picking up from right after Jack waves goodbye in 15.19, he knows there's a lot of work to do. After everything he's learned and been through in his short life, there's a few people he needs to see as he replaces Chuck's power structure with something that can truly carry on. His mom believed in him, and Castiel believed he could create a paradise. Only Jack's not sure he knows what that would mean. One thing he does know is that it would have to be a world where people were free to choose their own happiness. He can finally make that happen, for all of the people he's called family. Oh, and there are some definite drawbacks to omniscience...

Housewarming Gift | @peanutbutterjelly-pie Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 25,911 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Compliant, Post Canon, Fix It, Angst with a Happy Ending, Grief/Mourning, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, Selectively Mute Dean Summary: Does it count as a midlife crisis when you buy a house and renovate it in secret, not telling your brother a single thing about it? Well, Dean most certainly doesn't handle Cas' death very well and so somehow he ends up grieving in his own special way: by building a home and praying that one day he will share it with someone very particular. Deep down Dean knows it's a futile hope and probably not really healthy to cling onto it so desperately, but at the end of the day dreams occasionally come true, even for a Winchester. Right?

Desideratum and Other Mishaps | @thefandomsinhalor Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 28,076 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Divergent, S14E13 Lebanon, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Baby Jack, Fluff and Angst, Protective Dean Winchester Summary: In an unexpected turn of events, Castiel and the Winchesters find themselves with a toddler on their hands, when Jack, intending to regain his grace, makes a wish with the Baozhu—the wish-granting pearl—instead of Dean and gets transformed into a young child. Unsure how to fix the situation, and with Mary and Sam aiding the hunters from the other world on a hunt, Dean and Castiel are left alone at the bunker to care for baby Jack, where more than one revelation will unfold.

Sunflower | @maxine_1703 Rating: Mature Word Count: 28,842 Main Tags/Warnings: Body horror, hurt!Cas, post 15.18, hurt/comfort, grief/mourning, mutual pining, idiots in love Summary: With Cas in the Empty, Dean is forced to take another look at his feelings for him. Cas was someone he’d always considered a friend, and Dean never even thought of him in that way. However, when Cas returns with no wings, and no memory of his confession, Dean thinks it’s prudent to backburner that conversation. Everything is relatively all right (or so Dean thinks), until Sam’s caught up in a bad reaction to a spell, and Dean and Cas are forced to confront their feelings for each other while they rush to rescue a certain Samsel in distress. There’s also the fact that everything Jack touches seems to die, but hey, Dean can only handle one problem at a time, and that is not his fault.

Half empty | @sinnabonka Rating: Mature Word Count: 37,680 Main Tags/Warnings: Case Fic, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mystery, Unreliable Narrator, POV Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Character Study, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Canon-Typical Violence, Happy Ending, Fix-It, Psychological Thriller Summary: Raging storm, boundless cornfield surging, churning, like an angry ocean crashing its waves over steep shores. Dean comes to in the passenger seat of his car with no memory of what could have possibly brought him to the oddly named bar on the outskirts of the small town in the middle of nowhere. Investigating what first looks like a regular, run-of-the-mill missing people case and trying to bring back memories he’s lost, Dean ends up discovering truth he’d rather remain hidden. Welcome to Half Empty, where nothing is as it seems, and even shadows have secrets of their own.

Gimme a Miracle | @blueeyesblueties Rating: Explicit Word Count: 46,700 Main Tags/Warnings: Angst and fluff and smut, hurt/comfort, alcoholism, implied suicide, self worth issues, mutual pining, swearing, sexually explicit, mutual masturbation, anal sex, top Castiel/bottom Dean, wing kink, wing grooming, angelic grace sex, sharing of angelic grace, Castiel's true form, Castiel possessing Dean, needy vulnerable Dean, loving Castiel Summary: This is a story about man’s best friend. Or... A Man’s best friend. And about how good things do happen... sometimes you just need a little Miracle.

All That's Left is Hurt | @inacatastrophicmind Rating: Explicit Word Count: 105,618 Main Tags/Warnings: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt, Slow Burn, Depression, Pining, Grief/Mourning, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Suicidal Thoughts, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Self-Esteem Issues, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, lake house, Fix-It, Post 15x19, Established Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Loneliness Summary: After defeating Chuck, Dean expects that Jack, who is now the new God, will be able to bring back Cas, but unfortunately, Jack can’t. The entity of the Empty has managed to hide Cas from Jack, and all he can do, is wait for the entity of the Empty to make a mistake and release its grip on Castiel, which might take at least a century. Dean, shattered by the fact that he is going to have to live his life without Cas, mourning him for the rest of his days, drowns himself into the unforgiving and painful sea of grief. And as much as he wants to give up on life, he forces to keep going, because he doesn’t want Cas’ sacrifice to be for nothing, even if the simple act of breathing hurts. Unable to stay in the bunker anymore, haunted by the many memories he shared with Cas, Dean leaves the bunker and ends up buying a house near a lake. The house needs a lot of restoration, but Dean decides to work on it, hoping that if Cas is ever brought back from the Empty, he will have a nice home to come back to, even if Dean is no longer alive.

[junesirius]

Yes yes, I need all the fix-it in the world to fix my broken heart, and I put one there myself!

[junesirius]

Cas stands at the edge of Heaven, looking down. Stars are falling. He watches them. Falling from underneath, from Earth, to Heaven. He knows those are souls, ascending.

He doesn't know when Balthazar stands next to him, watching him watch the stars. "Humans die," he states the simplest fact. "They are humans, you know, they do that a lot."

"I know," Castiel answers absently, still looking at those stars. Some are brighter than others. One of them is particularly bright.

"Who's that?" He wonders aloud.

"Just one of them," Balthazar answers plainly, watching his face carefully, "Why?"

Castiel's eyes follow that particularly bright star, shaking his head. "I'm not sure." He frowns at it. The star is still flying, still ascending, dropping in the direction of Heaven.

Balthazar is still watching him. "Spit it out, Cassie," he says. "What is it?"

"I think I'm feeling something," Castiel admits, frowning harder at himself. He doesn't understand. "I feel... sad, like I lost something, but I don't even remember."

Balthazar doesn't answer.

Castiel turns to him and studies his face. "What's that human's name?" He asks.

Balthazar swallows.

"Balthazar," Castiel presses.

Balthazar sighs. "Dean Winchester," he answers bitterly.

Castiel continues staring at him. Still confused and sad. There is a turbulence twisting in his gut now. "Did I know him?" He hears himself asking. That sorrowful feeling inside his chest is growing stronger. That powerful sense of loss, the sense of grieving that he didn't understand when he was watching the stars. Now he thinks, it's starting to make sense. Something is lost, and he's lost them before the stars -- the man named Dean -- falling.

"Balthazar, please, answer me, do I know him?" Castiel doesn't plead, but it's a close thing.

"Yes," Balthazar answers, not looking at him. He pinches the bridge of his nose, as if this can make the conversation easier. "As far as I know, yes, very much."

"Why don't I remember? What happened to him? What happened to... me?" Castiel's voice drops. Something clicks in his mind. "God. Did God do something? It's him, isn't it?"

"Is everything alright?" A young voice speaks behind them.

Balthazar turns sharply. "Yes, everything's fine. Nothing to worry about, dear God."

"Please, Balthazar, I told you no need to use that word, I'm still just Jack." The boy says kindly.

"Of course, Jack," Balthazar answers smoothly, glancing at the other angel who seems not to be paying any attention to the arrival of their God.

"Right," he makes a deliberate sound, glancing between the two of them. "Guess I'll just see myself out."

He leaves without waiting for an answer.

Jack walks slowly to Castiel. "Cas," he calls him quietly.

"Angels weren't always staying in Heaven, was it?" Castiel asks, eyes still on the stars. More quiet, more sad.

"No, not before my time, at least," Jack answers quietly.

"And I wasn't always an angel." He guesses.

Jack hesitates. "You were, but you spent a lot of time on Earth."

"Who was he to me?" Castiel asks, voice in pain. He doesn't remember anything about that name, or that man, or any life before seeing Jack, before staying in Heaven days and nights watching the Earth, but he's feeling the pain growing as if pain has a life of its own, living in his heart.

Jack thinks for a long time. "He is my dad, as are you, Castiel."

Castiel turns to him, looking into him. The young God stands there, looking nothing more than a twenty-year-old boy, also pained by his eyes.

There are too many questions, Castiel doesn't even know which one to start with. So he just stands there, feeling the hole of pain growing in his chest, devouring the part that's making him feel pain and sorrow, and so much emptiness and loss. He's grieving, he realizes, for a man he doesn't even know he knew.

"Jack, tell me," Castiel whispers. Now this is a plea.

The pain in Jack's eyes is no less than his own. "There was a price to pay to save you, and I had to pay it. That's all I can say. I'm sorry, Cas. Please forgive me." That price was too high, but he couldn't even tell anyone, not to Cas, not to Dean. He couldn't tell him he made a deal with Empty, he couldn't tell him God's power was no use in the Empty and that deal was his only chance to save Cas's life. It cost his power and soul, and it cost Cas's memory, but that's the only way, so he did it. Empty knew he would do anything to save Cas, just like he knew Dean would, but this time, he decided to do it for him. Maybe this is better, Jack had thought. Maybe that way, all of them can finally have peace, Dean will finally find peace in Heaven, and Cas can enjoy the quiet peaceful life here too.

But looking at Cas's eyes, as that brightest star falls, as light dims in his too, Jack realizes, the feeling of loss and grief doesn't need memory. Castiel can apparently still feel it, feel the loss, feel Dean's life leaving him and it pains him so much. It is only then does Jack realize, maybe he has made a mistake...

[junesirius]

By the way, I wrote this story in Enochian initially, and the feeling was very magical.

[junesirius]

Castiel stands at the edge of Heaven, looking down. Stars are falling. He watches them. Falling from underneath, from Earth, to Heaven. He knows those are souls, ascending.

He doesn't know when Balthazar stands next to him, watching him watch the stars. "Humans die," he states the simplest fact. "They are humans, you know, they do that a lot."

"I know," Castiel answers absently, still looking at those stars. Some are brighter than others. One of them is particularly bright.

"Who's that?" He wonders aloud.

"Just one of them," Balthazar answers plainly, watching his face carefully, "Why?"

Castiel's eyes follow that particularly bright star, shaking his head. "I'm not sure." He frowns at it. The star is still flying, still ascending, dropping in the direction of Heaven.

Balthazar is still watching him. "Spit it out, Cassie," he says. "What is it?"

"I think I'm feeling something," Castiel admits, frowning harder at himself. He doesn't understand. "I feel... sad, like I lost something, but I don't even remember."

Balthazar doesn't answer.

Castiel turns to him and studies his face. "What's that human's name?" He asks.

Balthazar swallows.

"Balthazar," Castiel presses.

Balthazar sighs. "Dean Winchester," he answers bitterly.

Castiel continues staring at him. Still confused and sad. There is a turbulence twisting in his gut now. "Did I know him?" He hears himself asking. That sorrowful feeling inside his chest is growing stronger. That powerful sense of loss, the sense of grieving that he didn't understand when he was watching the stars. Now he thinks, it's starting to make sense. Something is lost, and he's lost them before the stars -- the man named Dean -- falling.

"Balthazar, please, answer me, do I know him?" Castiel doesn't plead, but it's a close thing.

"Yes," Balthazar answers, not looking at him. He pinches the bridge of his nose, as if this can make the conversation easier. "As far as I know, yes, very much."

"Why don't I remember? What happened to him? What happened to... me?" Castiel's voice drops. Something clicks in his mind. "God. Did God do something? It's him, isn't it?"

"Is everything alright?" A young voice speaks behind them.

Balthazar turns sharply. "Yes, everything's fine. Nothing to worry about, dear God."

"Please, Balthazar, I told you no need to use that word, I'm still just Jack." The boy says kindly.

"Of course, Jack," Balthazar answers smoothly, glancing at the other angel who seems not to be paying any attention to the arrival of their God.

"Right," he makes a deliberate sound, glancing between the two of them. "Guess I'll just see myself out."

He leaves without waiting for an answer.

Jack walks slowly to Castiel. "Cas," he calls him quietly.

"Angels weren't always staying in Heaven, was it?" Castiel asks, eyes still on the stars. More quiet, more sad.

"No, not before my time, at least," Jack answers quietly.

"And I wasn't always an angel." He guesses.

Jack hesitates. "You were, but you spent a lot of time on Earth."

"Who was he to me?" Castiel asks, voice in pain. He doesn't remember anything about that name, or that man, or any life before seeing Jack, before staying in Heaven days and nights watching the Earth, but he's feeling the pain growing as if pain has a life of its own, living in his heart.

Jack thinks for a long time. "He is my dad, as are you, Castiel."

Castiel turns to him, looking into him. The young God stands there, looking nothing more than a twenty-year-old boy, also pained by his eyes.

There are too many questions, Castiel doesn't even know which one to start with. So he just stands there, feeling the hole of pain growing in his chest, devouring the part that's making him feel pain and sorrow, and so much emptiness and loss. He's grieving, he realizes, for a man he doesn't even know he knew.

"Jack, tell me," Castiel whispers. Now this is a plea.

The pain in Jack's eyes is no less than his own. "There was a price to pay to save you, and I had to pay it. That's all I can say. I'm sorry, Cas. Please forgive me." That price was too high, but he couldn't even tell anyone, not to Cas, not to Dean. He couldn't tell him he made a deal with Empty, he couldn't tell him God's power was no use in the Empty and that deal was his only chance to save Cas's life. It cost his power and soul, and it cost Cas's memory, but that's the only way, so he did it. Empty knew he would do anything to save Cas, just like he knew Dean would, but this time, he decided to do it for him. Maybe this is better, Jack had thought. Maybe that way, all of them can finally have peace, Dean will finally find peace in Heaven, and Cas can enjoy the quiet peaceful life here too.

But looking at Cas's eyes, as that brightest star falls, as light dims in his too, Jack realizes, the feeling of loss and grief doesn't need memory. Castiel can apparently still feel it, feel the loss, feel Dean's life leaving him and it pains him so much. It is only then does Jack realize, maybe he has made a mistake...

[beetusthatyeetus]

John’s voicemail: If this is an emergency, call my son.

Sam’s voicemail: If this is an emergency, call my brother.

Dean’s voicemail: If this is an emergency, leave a message or try my other phone.

Bro is his own emergency contact on top of being everyone else’s I’m going to throw myself under a jet ski

[junesirius]

My heart breaks for him...

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2026 | Day 19: Canon Compliant

A little knife to save you | @youchangedmedestiel Rating: Mature Word Count: 1,427 Main Tags/Warnings: Episode: s13e22 Exodus (Supernatural), Canon Compliant, Touching, Getting Together, First Kiss, Neck Kissing Summary: This is the story of how Cas knew where to find Dean’s little knife he used in episode 15x18 to cut his hand and draw the sigil to keep Billie away and save Dean.

A Prayer Unanswered | @bunheadkitkat19 Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,624 Main Tags/Warnings: Sam Winchester mentioned, Implied Destiel, Cannon compliant, implied bisexual dean, Episode: s08e16, Naomi is a bitch, pre-episode: s08e17, angels can hear non verbal prayer, POV Castiel, Dean Winchester Prays to Castiel, Praying Dean Winchester, Angst, Hurt No Comfort Summary: Dean Winchester prayed for Cas's help, but never got an answer. Castiel heard Dean's prayer, and more, but something *side eyes at Naomi* got in his way. End of 8x16 & pre 8x17.

Healing guilt | @youchangedmedestiel Rating: General Word Count: 1,805 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Compliant, Episode: s11e03 The Bad Seed (Supernatural), POV Alternating, Castiel Heals Dean Winchester, Castiel is Protective of Dean Winchester, Castiel Watches Dean Winchester Sleep, Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural) Summary: Cas heals Dean anyway, but only when he is asleep, because Dean was kind of under a curse too when he beat him, so he heals him he doesn't care what Dean said earlier, he just can't let him suffer pointlessly like that. He doesn’t deserve this. Dean discovers it but can't really do anything about it.

You and Me | @kikiatthemirror Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,957 Main Tags/Warnings: Sorry Baby is a character, well...in a way..., because she's special, Angst, Hurt Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Actually Deals With Feelings, Crying Dean Winchester, Desperate Dean Winchester, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Sort Of, Dean Winchester to the Rescue, Dean in a barn, Castiel wake up in the Empty, Castiel in the Empty (Supernatural), Canon Compliant Summary: Those who have been reading me for a while know that I hate the fact that Dean is dead. 15x20 who? And yet...one way or another we have to deal with it. In TW we see that the Impala that Dean finds in heaven is able to transport him, safe and sound, between dimensions, through time, and even into the world of the living. Spasmodically hoping for a S16, I like to think that that Impala is equipped with extraordinary powers, and that she takes him where he needs to go, even if he doesn't realize it. So for this special day I'm re-proposing one of the oneshots published in December. Dean travels with the Impala, hoping to be able to reach Cas in the Empty. But Baby knows that's not the right way. So, Dean arrives where he never expected, in a barn, in Pontiac, Illinois.

Something Has Been Cooking For A Decade | @hectatess Rating: General Word Count: 2,123 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Compliant, Dean’s love language is food, Cooking with stuff you have Summary: When his roadsnacks inadvertently get squashed, Dean decides to cook a dish with them, to give Cas the experience of on-the-dime cooking. He did not expect to be called out, though…

But You Wouldn't Keep Me Around | @shes-beauty-shes-ace Rating: General Word Count: 2,702 Main Tags/Warnings: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Episode: s09e06 Heaven Can't Wait, Episode: s09e06 Heaven Can't Wait - Overnight Time Gap, Light Angst, Hurt Castiel, Human Castiel Summary: “And you know what the worst part is, Dean? I had finally started to get comfortable and accept this new life of mine and then you show up across the counter and it all comes crashing down again.” — Castiel has every right to be angry and confused with Dean.

Happy & Sad (at the same time) | @bunheadkitkat19 Rating: General Word Count: 6,121 Main Tags/Warnings: POV Castiel, Post-Episode: s15e14 Last Holiday, Canon Compliant, Castiel Makes a Deal with The Shadow, Episode: s15e18 Despair - Castiel's Confession Scene, Pining, Domesticity in the Men of Letters Bunker, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Angst and Feels, Canon compliant MCD Summary: They may be in the middle of a fight against God himself and the umpteenth end of the world, but Dean’s holding on hope that maybe once this fight is over, they’ll actually be done for good, however impossible it once seemed. For now, they’re in the calm before the storm, and Cas is finally home for good. If anyone deserves to be celebrated, Dean knows it’s that sonofabitch, so he decides to keep up with the holiday kicks and throw Castiel an impromptu birthday party. What could go wrong?

Unchanging Channels | @junesirius Rating: General Word Count: 7,318 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Compliant, Canon Divergent, S05E08 Changing Channels reference, Fix-it, Background Sam/Eileen Summary: Trickster is stabbed through the chest, and the TV land shifts to reality -- except that it might be a different reality than they are used to. Where Castiel is the car, literally.

Slouching Towards Bethlehem | @norahastuff Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 27,434 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon compliant (ish), takes place during s4 and 5, dreamwalking, hell exploration, to quote Sam Winchester, hope’s kinda the whole point Summary: ‘’Cas wasn't the first to lay his hand on the scar, but neither Anna nor Pamela's touch had elicited a reaction like this. Their hands hadn’t…fit the same way. It was like some kind of fucked up fairytale. Dean wondered which one of them was the Cinderella of this story. Though, come to think of it, Cas had been the first to put his hand there. It was Cas who branded the mark into his skin in the first place. Well, fuck. Guess that made Cas Cinderella and Prince Charming all rolled into one. Dean was just the fucking shoe.’’ It's the end of the world as they know it, and neither Dean nor Castiel are feeling particularly fine. But while the world is still spinning, they have to find a way to keep living in it. The Apocalypse may not seem like the best time to forge a bond, but if some small measure of peace can be found amidst the pain and uncertainty that surrounds them, that can only be a good thing. And maybe, sometimes, good things do happen.

Until It's Too Late | @godstiel-collins Rating: Explicit Word Count: 32,710 Main Tags/Warnings: No Warnings, Friends With Benefits, Case Fic (briefly, Jealousy, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Explicit Sexual Content, Explicit Language, Dirty Talk, Set in season 12, Canon Compliant,Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Rough Sex, Jealous Dean Winchester Summary: Against Dean's better judgement, he found himself in a friends with benefits situation with Castiel. And everything was fine, as much as it could be when you're a Winchester, except that one day, Dean came to the realization that the angel was seeing someone else. Surely, Dean could handle that, they weren't exclusive anyway. Right?

Talkin' Bear Mountain Picnic | @mittensmorgul Rating: Mature Word Count: 41,450 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Mutual Pining, Case Fic, Fluff and Smut, First Kiss, First Time, Truth Spells, Explicit Consent, Sharing a Bed, Cuddling & Snuggling, Bathtub Sex, Ridiculous Honesty Smut, Dubiously Helpful Woodland Creatures, the woodland creatures are not in any way involved with the smut, Post-Canon, Summary: Strange things were happening in a small town in Northern Maine that had gained a reputation as the most honest town in the world in only a matter of weeks. Residents were going out of their way to confess their sins-- everything from jaywalking to murder, infidelity to true love. Sam, Dean and Cas all have their own reasons for wanting to stay far away from an honesty curse, but with Jack and his natural bluntness serving as their last line of defense, they decide to investigate. The last thing they need is another Veritas situation on their hands. The honest little town might be enjoying their newfound liberty to speak their minds, but the cause of this particular curse might prove to be Dean and Cas’s undoing.

Celestial Intent | @blueeyesblueties Rating: Explicit Word Count: 89,303 Main Tags/Warnings: One Shot Collection, POV Castiel, Angst, Self Worth Issues, Self Esteem Issues, Mental Health Issues, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Self Hatred, Grief/Mourning Loss, Whump, Mugging, Homelessness, Attempted Non-Con, Pining, Emotional Hurt, Internalised Homophobia, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Occasional Hurt/No Comfort, Denial of Feelings, Masturbation, Boys Kissing, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Foreplay, Oral Sex, Canon Typical Violence, Blood and Gore, Blood and Violence, Blood and Injury, Murder, Death, I've only included the concerning tags I swear it has good stuff too, Like Affection Fluff Comfort and occasional humor Summary: A one shot collection that fills in the gaps of Castiel's journey and his relationship with Dean. Intentionally canon compliant, but with a Destiel twist using my own head canon for things canon doesn't discuss or leaves vague; bridging the subtext to actual text. The two explicit entries can be skipped if preferred, lowering the rating to mature.

A Cave full of Shadows | @tanis-in-a-trenchcoat Rating: Explicit Word Count: 104,863 Main Tags/Warnings: Major Character Death, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Minor Rowena MacLeod/Sam Winchester - Relationship, Gregory House/James Wilson, Inspired by WandaVision (TV), Dean Winchester's Season 13 Widower Arc, POV Dean Winchester, Witch Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester Has Mental Health Issues, Suicide Attempt, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Explicit Sexual Content, Angel Wings, Switch Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Canonical Character Death, Bittersweet Ending Summary: Dean has burned Cas' body and that makes his death definite. The only thing left for him to do is to drown himself in alcohol and hunting, a pale echo of his father. So when Sam finds the strange case of a town that no one seems to be able to get out of, Dean goes with him to investigate with only white noise in his head. But something strange happens when Dean crosses the town's municipal boundary without realizing it. He suddenly finds himself living a life that isn't technically his own but feels like it's his: he's survived the Hunt, has a house, a white picket fence, and an happy apple pie on the windowsill. And most importantly. Cas is alive.

[junesirius]

canon compliant!!! my favorite of the favorite!! I'll read all of them when I get time (and I submitted one of my own there if people are interested! It's been unbelievably difficult to pick just one out of all the canon compliant or divergent works I've done!!)

[junesirius]

It's not Good Omens 3, it's like destiel's Good Omens AU...

Nononononono --

Why is there always an idiot angel in a trench coat falling in love, in the messiest but most definite way? (Who, by the way, always try to fix things, try to do their best, and then make them even worse)

Why is there always another cool funny guy with a black car, desperate in repressed love, but at the end of the day, choosing free will more than anything?

And there's always a Satan that does nothing but just hang around, making sour comments and some noise.

And a God that wants to just have some fun, write the story or some plan, and at the end of the day, destroy the world.

[spnangelbang]

“Heaven Sent, Hell Bent” 

Author: junesirius Artist: @fryologyy

Rating: Teen and Up Archive warnings: Graphic depictions of violence Length:  11060 words Tags:  Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Pre-Episode: s04e01 Lazarus Rising (Supernatural), Demon Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester in Hell, Angst Characters: Dean Winchester, Castiel, Alastair Relationships: Dean/Castiel

Summary:  Demon Dean lobotomizes Castiel in Hell during angel rescue. Castiel now forgets he's here to save Dean. How are they going to get out of Hell now?

Link to Fic & Art

[junesirius]

Daredevil born again S02E05 spoiler thoughts

oh wow, the parallels in the storytelling, three storylines weaving together, past and present, cause and consequence, it's not the grand design of fate or destiny, it's the grand design of the writers and creators, and all come out really well.

Fisk and Matt are always the biggest contrast of this show, and because Fisk has Vanessa, Matt has Foggy, it naturally makes Vanessa and Foggy also a parallel. That is also how Dex measures the scale: Vanessa orders him to kill Foggy, so it's only just if he kills Vanessa, so if he did this, his score would be even.

And how Matt measures his scale: he tried to kill Dex, and so tonight, saving Dex is also his penance to make it right again.

Vanessa has the brain, Foggy has the heart. So there's beauty in how they die: Vanessa is killed by a fatal wound to her brain, and Foggy is killed by a bullet to the heart.

Foggy's heart taught Matt how much they should care about people, have mercy, that almost sounds like Matt as Daredevil's origin story, why he put on the mask. And Vanessa's first encounter with Fisk, making the arrangement of putting that paint out there, knowing the one who walks in will see the value of it, see the loneliness in them, also plays a critical part in the origin story for Fisk turning into Kingpin.

The hiding and escaping scene when Matt tries to save Dex while Dex has almost given up, stumbling across the tunnels and basement of the church, I got reminded too vividly that's exactly what It Takes a Village described Matt and Frank did. I longed to see some more Matt and Frank's interaction, and all I got is Matt and Dex, and I'm not complaining. What's with Matt keeping getting himself involved with murderers like Frank and Dex? There's a very certain beauty in their contrast and tension, a danger of it, a suppressed instinct of killing and saving among all three of them. Is it too good a dream of hope to see all three of them teaming up together?

Buck's back story and a freaked-out Daniel, the C-story is overshadowed by the A- and B-storyline, but still a charming one. It's good to see Wesley again, and it's rare to see Buck without fancy suits. Buck really is a good successor to Wesley. And it's really interesting to see Buck's first case from Fisk, the target is exactly the one saved by Foggy, even before they have their law firm. The grand design and their interaction started before any of them even realized.

[sicksicksixx]

how it looks when people say dean saw cas as a just a friend

[junesirius]

This gives me a thought: Because last time Cas walking the Earth was two thousand years ago (not counting 1901), many words have changed meanings since then; what if he still understands the modern words in their ancient meanings? Say, "friend", means "lover", in the old times, seriously.

The etymology of word "friend" comes from Old English "frēond" (which literally means, "lover"; ref: wiki), and from Proto-Germanic "frijōndz" ("loved one"), and in Ancient Greek "Philoi" ("friend", and especially the type of friendship is based on the characteristically Greek value for reciprocity, as opposed to a friendship that exists as an end to itself; ref: wiki).

So actually, when Dean tells Cas, "you're my best friend," from Cas's understanding of the Old English and Ancient Greek meaning of the word "friend", he hears "lover".

I need a fic of this.

(Actually the inspiration comes from both the art above and recently finished reading NorthernSparrow's "Under The Midnight Sun" where when Dean asked Cas, "Are you gay?" and Cas took the old meaning of "gay" and thought he was asking if he was cheerful and carefree.)

Addendum:

Similarly, maybe Cas would have trouble understanding the word "love" as well, because it's just one word in English, but in ancient Greek two thousand years ago, there were at least six different words to describe different aspects of love, but nowadays they're all just "love".

So maybe there will also be a scenario when Dean (post S15, or from the unmodified script version of S08E17) finally says, "I love you", there will be a conversation from Cas about: "Which love are you talking about? Is it philía, or érōs, or agápē, or something else?" And it would take a while for Dean to figure them out and explain. (# Canon-typical miscommunication)

So for Dean's convenience, here are the six translations of love in ancient Greek (ref: wiki):

agápē: affection, as in "greet with affection" and "show affection for the dead". In a Christian context, it means "love: especially unconditional love, charity; the love of God for person and of person for God". (Dean: "I'm not sure about the 'affection for the dead' part.")

érōs: "love, mostly of the sexual passion". The Modern Greek word "erotas" means "intimate love". Plato: Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or and may ultimately transcend particulars to become an appreciation of beauty itself, hence the concept of platonic love to mean "without physical attraction". (Dean: "This one! And let's forget about Plato for a minute here.")

philía: "affectionate regard, friendship", usually "between equals". It is a dispassionate virtuous love. Aristotle: loyalty to friends ("brotherly love"), family, and community; requires virtue, equality, and familiarity. (Cas: "I believed this might be the one you were most likely referring to?" Dean: "In the beginning, maybe? You're definitely still my best friend and it won't ever change, and yeah all in for the affectionate and loyalty and that, but definitely not 'dispassionate', believe me, I'm very passionate.")

storgē: "love, affection" and "especially of parents and children". Almost exclusively to describe family relationships. (Dean: "Nope, no need to know the rest of this one. Definitely not parent-children situation here.")

philautía: "self-love", to love oneself or "proper regard for and attention to one's own happiness or well-being". Aristotle: it's the root of a general kind of love for family, friends, the enjoyment of an activity, as well as that between lovers. (Dean: "I don't know much about philosophers, but maybe Aristotle here is making some solid points." Cas: "I met him. He's indeed very wise and has many good advice." Author here breaking the fourth wall: They both definitely need more of this love, attention to their own happiness and well-being instead of jumping into pits for each other all the time...)

xenía: hospitality, "guest-friendship", or "ritualized friendship". (Dean: "Think we can skip this one too.")

[mintykiwi]

[mintykiwi]

EVERY YEAR

[junesirius]

LOL EVERY YEAR

[spnangelbang]

Coming soon for the SPN Angels & Demons Bang:

“Heaven Sent, Hell Bent” 

Author: June / @junesirius

Artist: Fry / @fryologyy

Rating: Teen and Up

Archive warnings: Graphic depictions of violence

Tags:  Canon Divergent, pre-S04E01, demon!Dean, Dean in Hell, Angst

Characters: Dean Winchester, Castiel, Alastair

Relationships: Dean Winchester/Castiel

Summary:  

Demon Dean lobotomizes Castiel in Hell during angel rescue. Castiel now forgets he's here to save Dean. How are they going to get out of Hell now?

* * *

Excerpt:

He hears Castiel sigh and then murmur quietly, "I'm sorry we didn't come earlier; I'm sorry you're already a demon now."

This pisses Dean off -- he doesn't need a random dude to pop up and sound as if he's better than him, as if Dean's something bad and corrupted. Dean accelerates his work, holding Castiel's wrists in one hand, opening the cuffs and belts on the operating table with the other. He has to use his teeth to help at one point, but the knots and locks finally give way. He shoves that previous patient off to the ground, not bothering to check if that body is still breathing or not -- it's never their concern.

It takes him even longer than shutting him up to lock Castiel in place on the operating table. But this is not the first violent patient who struggles so much that the whole table moves, or tries to fight back or even escape. Dean is strong enough to handle all of them. He forces the man down the desk, tightening the belts around his middle, strapping him in place. All his feet and hands are cuffed, and there's an extra belt around the neck that he tightens so much that it straddles the man's throat, not leaving an inch to move.

Posting Date: April 27, 2026

[lizleeships]

*GASP*

(EDIT: HERE IS PART TWO)

I spent so much time on this that I feel like I should marry it. I literally giggled with joy once it was finally finished. Gahdamn. 

It all started with that 4th panel which was just a lone drawing at first… and then the rest of the comic just sorta happened, in which Cas somehow gets stuck in his true form, but on the physical plane. (And yes, there is a very strategic Impala head amidst his manifestations, haha) There are still so many tweaks/fixes I could do but I got sick of looking at it so I’m calling it done, lol. I’m also aware that Dean is a little curt with Sam in this (some have mentioned this), but I sorta think he’d be kind of be gruff when his cosmic bf was in trouble. 

I LOVE hearing comments, so tell me what you think! How do you picture Cas’ true form? :D

PS: The spell Dean is holding says something like “the vessel is unbound” or something, I dunno. Don’t quote me on that, it’s just bullshit that looks pretty, hahah :D

(Pretty please don’t repost | Visit my main account @lizleeillustration | If you like my work, consider buying me a Kofi? )

Also, bonus panel because I cannot take anything seriously:

[junesirius]

The true form looks so awesome!!! One of the best I've ever seen!!! Love it so much!

(And the cuddle!!! The best!!!)