The goddess seeks stories to add to her chronicles. All offerings welcome – whispered prayers, written oaths, or tales of great deeds. Approach with reverence – or wit.
I’ve been ugly sobbing for the past twenty minutes thinking about my childhood dog that passed about two years ago. I have his collar and a stuffed animal that looks like him in my bedroom, and when I saw it, I just immediately lost it.
And it feels like it’s been so long, but it hurts just as much as it did then.
Anyway, here are some pictures of him. His name was Cyrus because I was obsessed with Hannah Montana. He was a beagle mix obsessed with food and had the floppiest ears. And I got him for my ninth birthday. Miss you buddy.
I love f1 baby daddy gojo… the way i’d harbor resentment over that guy but ultimately, i will fall for his charms again… 😝 will we mayhaps have more of him…
I’m definitely one to hold a grudge for a long time, so this man would absolutely suffer every single day until I finally forgave him. But it’s GOJO, so as pissed as I would be, he’d be right back in my bed
Hi Juno!! I absolutely love your writing and I always immediately check when you update, I’ve been the biggest fan of the end came quietly and I just wanted to ask what’s happening with it? I don’t want to pressure you at all, take your time!!
Honestly, it’s hard for me to focus on anything specific. My posts lately have been random ideas popping into my head and making quick drabbles about them. But I have things planned for tecq! I have the first couple pages of the next chapter written out too, but I keep rewriting the plot so it’s hard to finish lol
track twenty-three: feelings between the lines | prev track< | setlist
three rockstars! one you!
synopsis: your best friend has always been an asshole - whether it's in his band or in his bed. him ditching you? nothing new. but when one bedroom door closes, another one opens
pairings: rockstar!Suguru Geto x f!Reader x childhood fwb!Sukuna (+ rockstar!gojo!!)
content: mdni, angst and fluff, rockstar au!, complicated relationships and messy emotions, the morning after, reader lowk wants all three of them, avoidant attachment, HEAVY PINING AND YEARNING, denying feelings, reader is a mess, satoru being a pitiful puppy dog, suguru misses her sm, and sukuna is desperately trying to win her back lmfao, protective men, emotional hurt/comfort
a/n: art by @winterrbluess !! div by @/tsumiinum
Someone had to be drilling an ice pick through your skull.
Waking up in a daze, still a little drunk as your brain throbbed and ached, face buried into a soft pillow.
"Morning," a low voice murmured in your ear, a heavy arm wrapped around your waist as you tried to hide from the light filtering in, groaning in response as his fingers sank into your side.
"Su-"
You stopped yourself before you had even managed to make it through a full syllable.
Whose name were you going to say?
Which one felt right on your tongue?
You rolled over, stomach flipping as you found yourself staring into sleepy blue eyes, soft white hair splayed out on the pillow next to yours as he wiped the drool from the corner of his mouth.
"You sleep okay?" Satoru asked, your heart stalling as the sudden weight of your regret settled on your shoulders.
Your mouth went dry. Cotton stuffed in your throat as your chest got all tight, nails digging into your palm as you pulled the blankets around. your bare body tighter.
Fuck.
What the hell had you done last night?
"My head hurts," you croaked, heart hammering as you watched the corner of his mouth curl up into a small smile, reaching out for your cheek before you reflexively pulled back.
He didn't frown at you.
Just gave you those pretty puppy dog eyes that made you feel even more like shit than you currently did.
Especially when there was a different face in your mind, a dark stare that pierced straight through your heart.
"I can go get some pain killers," he offered, yawning as he sat up straight, pretending like he wasn't hurt by how hard you were staring at him like a stranger. His chest on display, pale skin catching the sun as he stretched out his long arms, rolling his shoulders back as he not-subtly showed them off.
"I have some in my bag," you mumbled, pointing to the one half-open and rummaged through on the floor on the other side of the room.
Satoru stood, totally naked as he strolled over to it, bending over to dig through your clothes and tossing out a couple pairs of panties before he found the small bottle of painkillers you purchased from the resort gift shop the first night you got here.
He unscrewed the cap to take one himself before he tossed it over to you.
You didn't catch it, but it landed on your lap.
The warning label staring back at you as you wondered how many warnings you ignored before you ended up here.
Dealing with the awkward morning after with the worst person you could've possibly slept with.
Satoru casually walked over to the mini-fridge, pulling out a bottle of water to chase it down before leaning over the bed and holding it out for you to take.
Definitely what you should've been drinking last night, but no, you always learned your lesson a little too late.
The bottle was barely cold, the mini-fridge hardly keeping it below room temperature even for how expensive this place had to be.
Still, you took a long sip, the water doing nothing to soothe how dry your mouth felt when you were hyper aware of who you were drinking after.
But you had done a lot fucking more than just swapping saliva.
"Say it," Satoru spoke softly, looking at you with understanding you weren't expecting.
"What?" You blinked, almost choking on your water.
"That it was a mistake," he muttered.
It was.
But it was suddenly so much harder to actually get it out when he was looking at you like he didn't regret it at all. Like he'd known that this was how it would always end between you.
"Satoru," you apologetically began, swallowing hard, even though that lump that seemed to live in your throat lately wasn't budging. "We-"
"We were just drunk?" He offered the excuse for you when it was obvious you were struggling to finish.
"I don't want to hurt Suguru," you murmured, not that your sentiment meant much after what you'd done. "Or you."
His disappointed smile was enough for you to know you already had.
"I get it," he shrugged.
"You're great," you offered, trying to salvage some of the situation, to not push away one of the few people who tried to support you when he didn't have to. Although, now that you had sex, some tiny voice in your head couldn't help but suggest that perhaps that was all he wanted from you after all. "I'm just not-"
"You don't have to justify yourself to me," he interrupted before you could put yourself down, before you could push him away.
Was it really Suguru's feelings you were trying to save here? Sukuna's?
Or were you just trying to protect yourself again?
Common sense screamed at you that any sort of relationship that started from this wouldn't end well.
You were too sour for someone as sweet as Satoru.
All you'd do was disappoint him.
It's what you were doing right now, wasn't it?
Because no matter what you said, or swore, he could see it written all over your face that you wished last night hadn't happened when it only left you even more confused.
Wracked with guilt over what the fuck you were going to tell the men waiting for you, how you were supposed to move forward when you were caught in a messy web of feelings you were tangled and tied up by.
"I'm sorry," you half-whispered, clearly still feeling the effects of the alcohol when you realized you sorta wanted to cry about it, breath hitching uncomfortably as you averted your eyes away from his.
"You don't have to be," Satoru casually said, still playing the light-hearted guy you'd gotten to know. Too well, you guessed, since you could tell it was just a mask. That he was hiding how he felt to save you from feeling worse.
"I am, I-" You were floundering. Headache pounding behind your eyes as you bit down hard on the inside of your cheek, reaching up to rub your eyes. "You keep getting dragged into my problems and-"
"I want to be the guy that solves them," he stopped you, one knee on the bed as he got down on your level, forcing you to look him in the eyes so you could see that he was actually serious for once. "But I'm not the only one."
And while you were here, naked and hungover, Suguru and Sukuna were trying to put the rest of your life back together.
You had to choose.
Decide if you wanted one or none of them.
But how were you supposed to know who wouldn't leave you heartbroken?
Who wouldn't leave you wondering and wishing for someone else once all the dust settled?
And what if, the answers weren't the same?
What if the one would tear your heart out and take it with him when the two of you fell apart?
Your mouth opened, but the right words eluded you. All the words did.
Sitting there, surely looking stupid as you struggled to say anything to stay friends, at least.
"I'll go," Satoru quietly said, going to pick up last night's clothes before starting to get dressed. Pulling his stained shirt back over his head as you helplessly watched him.
"Last night, I-" You tried one more time, but he held up his hand. The same one that spent half the night exploring your body.
"I want you," he bluntly said. "It's fine if you don't want me back. But I'll still be there for you when you get back."
No room for misunderstandings.
Nowhere for you to hide how you felt either.
"I don't know what I want," you honestly murmured, and he gave you one more soft smiles of his, walking back over to where you were sitting in the bed. Bending over to press a small kiss to your forehead, a stifled squeak of surprise almost escaping your lips.
"I know," he mumbled back. "Call me when you get a little closer to figuring it out."
How long would that take you?
A week? A month?
More?
You wanted all of this to be over.
To be back in a bed that felt like yours, in a place that felt like home, where you could wake up and go to a job where you didn't have to think about how many of your coworkers had seen your sex tape.
Was that too much to ask?
It felt pretty fucking far-fetched as you stared at Satoru's broad frame walking away while you cut into your own palms with your nails, lungs straining to get air in-and-out as you heard the door thud shut behind him.
Left alone to stare at the wall, to count the seconds of silence as you curled back up under the covers to shut your eyes like you could shut off the rest of the world too.
Your brain was barely functioning. Your ass was sore. But really, all you could focus on was how tired you were of the hurt you'd been harboring in your heart from months.
Fuck, years.
It'd been ripped open and stitched together so many times you were sick of just slathering superglue in the cracks.
This was just the latest cut.
The freshest wound.
You'd done it to yourself this time.
And as you tried not to doze back off, slip back into nightmares you couldn't control, you wondered why.
Yeah, Satoru was attractive. Sweet. The type of attentive you had a hard time saying no too.
But you couldn't help but ask yourself if part of you hadn't wanted to hurt Suguru and Sukuna just a little bit. Make them feel abandoned too, or make yourself feel better about what they'd done to you.
The guilt that was already there just encased your lungs, all thick and slimy and heavy as you hastily crawled out of bed to pick up your phone from where you left it on the floor last night.
You didn't have it in you to shower yet.
The bathroom lights were too bright. And you didn't think you could deal with looking in the mirror right now. Instead, you picked up a robe you left draped on the furniture, hastily tying it around yourself as you sat in one of the chairs, bringing your knees up to your chest as you unlocked your phone.
You didn't really know whose contact you were looking for until you landed on it.
Suguru must have set your ringtone to something he recognized, because he answered before the second ring. Saying your name into the speaker like it was something special.
Like you were.
"Um, hi," you mumbled, wondering if he could hear your hangover when your voice was trembling already.
"Drink too much last night?" He wryly asked, and you let out a nervous exhale.
"Yeah, like, a lot," you honestly answered, tucking the phone against your head and shoulder, shutting your eyes at the sharp stab of pain behind them from the simple movement. "Before you ask, yes, I took medicine and drank water."
He chuckled a little at that.
"You know me too well. How are you doing?" He asked softly, warmth in your ear that almost made you wince. "Having fun?"
You weren't even dating him anymore, but it still felt like far more than just some minor betrayal to fuck his best friend.
"Um, I got a visitor," you answered, not totally sure how to say it without awkwardly spilling everything immediately.
"Yeah, I saw," Suguru muttered, and you could hear his disappointment. "Someone got photos of you guys on the beach."
"Oh," you swallowed, biting your already broken and bleeding lips.
Of course.
You were still being watched.
Photographed and filmed for strangers' entertainment.
"They all think that we're in some polyamorous relationship or you're dating Satoru and he's just a, you know-" Suguru didn't finish, but you figured it out for yourself.
A cuck.
God, his dad definitely wanted to kill him now if he didn't before.
"Either one is probably more normal than whatever this is," you accidentally said out loud, and he actually laughed, a short burst of it that soothed you for a second before you realized that this wouldn't last.
Suguru would find out sooner or later what you did.
There wasn't going to be an easy way to admit it. To come clean when you felt filthy for what you'd done.
You didn't want to be the reason he lost Satoru. Didn't want to become them or their band.
"Suguru," you apologetically started, shutting your eyes before you even said it. "I'm sorry, I just have to be honest with you, uh, me and Satoru sorta slept together last night."
You waited for him to tell you he hated you. That he couldn't believe it or something equally damning. Condemn you for being a bitch or a whore or a slut even when you knew he'd come up with something more clever.
Not his slow exhale.
"I figured it would happen," he admitted, but his hurt wasn't hidden. Right there in his wounded acceptance, the thick swallow audible even on the grainy line.
"You-" You stopped yourself, unsure where you were about to go with your sentence.
What the hell was that supposed to mean?
"He told me he was in love with you last week," Suguru lightly scoffed, and a discomforting feeling settled in your stomach as you started nervously playing with the hem of your robe while he continued, "He swore he wasn't going to do anything, but I mean, it was just a matter of time."
He sounded resigned.
Like he'd given up.
"I don't think he was planning to," you weakly defended, even though you hadn't really begun to process the knowledge that Satoru told him that he was fucking in love with you. Wanting someone was one thing. But you didn't know what the fuck to do with Satoru's love when all you'd been preparing yourself for was lust. "I let him come in my room, and we were both really wasted. I wouldn't have-"
What?
Slept with him sober?
"You deserve someone whose going to make you happy. If it's him-"
"He already left. I told him I didn't want to hurt you," you mumbled, pulse annoyingly pounding as you paused. "I'm sorry."
You already said it.
But you wanted him to know you actually meant it. That it wasn't some rehearsed line to clear the air.
"We're not together," Suguru said, almost like he was telling you that you didn't owe him any apologies. But it stung to hear anyway.
"I know," you half-whispered. "But I shouldn't have fucked him when I still have some feelings for you."
What they were exactly, you weren't sure, but it would be a lie to say they weren't there.
Suguru was silent.
Every second he didn't speak was more painful than the last, yet, you couldn't bring yourself to take it back.
"Can't you just tell me you hate me? Please?" You asked instead, reaching up to rub your eyes as you resisted the urge to cry again. "I lied to you when we were together and I just slept with your best friend, and-"
"You wouldn't be there right now if I hadn't fucked us up," he stopped you mid-spiral, and you knew if he was here, he'd probably pull you into a hug or drag his thumb under your eyes to stop the tears from falling. "It's my fault Satoru even had the space to come between us."
"You're not going to strangle him, right?"
"You're not going to sleep with him again?" He asked, careful to toe the line between teasing and taking this seriously.
"No," you mumbled. You'd just get food service delivered to your room and hole up inside it for the next week if you had to. "I'm not getting drunk again either. Like, ever."
You still felt two seconds away from throwing up, the throbbing pain in your brain refusing to dull as Suguru chuckled through the phone.
"I'm not going to kill Satoru," he promised you, even though you could still hear how pissed he was at his friend - no matter how carefully he concealed it under his steady tone.
It just made you feel more like a screw-up for putting him in this position.
Yeah, he hurt you. Broke your heart before.
But all the lines between exes and lovers and friends had been crossed and redrawn and blurred so many times that you didn't know whether to hate him or yourself for how things were now.
"I don't know what's wrong with me," you mumbled, wondering whether or not wallowing would ever get you anywhere. How you were supposed to climb out of a hole you kept digging deeper.
"There's nothing wrong-"
"I always do this," you stopped him before he could defend you. Not sober enough to stop talking but too drunk to make much sense of what you were rambling about. "Sleep with someone I shouldn't and run away instead of actually facing anything."
You'd done it with Sukuna.
Fucked him and fled the morning after and started the whole awful act of pretending you were just friends.
You tried to do it with Suguru.
Gave the relationship thing a try only to run away at the first huge hurdle.
And here you were, hours away from both men after you sent another one away.
Holed up to hide your feelings from not just them, but yourself.
You didn’t want to keep having the same conversations. Stay stuck in this stupid cycle.
“You don’t have to have everything figured out, you know,” Suguru murmured.
Still the same man you fell for from that first meeting. The one that could disarm you so easily. Soothe you even when you wanted to be upset.
“I don’t think I have anything figured out,” you grimaced.
You wouldn’t have a job when you came home. A place to say.
Just a sex tape and your own splintered pride to show for the last six months of your life.
Meanwhile, Manami probably still hadn’t faced any real repercussions for ruining your reputation, your prospects, your world. You’d skimmed over what the lawyers had emailed you, but any court case would take years.
You needed to pull yourself together now.
“There’s nothing wrong with starting fresh,” Suguru started, but you were sighing before he had even fully finished.
“What? Like change my name? Create a fake identity?” You sarcastically teased, jaw locking when it hit you that you sounded sort of like Sukuna.
“I’m just saying we don’t have to hold onto the past,” he clarified, all mature. Reasonable.
“Oh,” you muttered. “Yeah.”
You had no idea how to do that.
Your past was Sukuna.
From scraped knees and school dances to the songs and the sex, to his smirk and his hands on your skin, it was all him. Late nights on his couch or tangled together in his sheets. He colored your memories. Colored your relationships.
Moving on was always so far out of your grasp you sort of stopped considering it a real option somewhere along the way.
It had been so much simpler to assure yourself that you were fine with it. Swear that you didn’t care what or who he did outside of you.
But then you met Suguru, and then came Satoru, and now you were beginning to consider that maybe the smartest thing you could do was buy a wig and a flight and start a new life where no one knew you.
Not that anyone new you could possibly meet would be able to compare.
“Can I take you out for dinner when you come home?" Suguru abruptly asked, and it surprised you how quickly you were about to say yes.
"Like, actually go out?" You murmured, mulling over it.
There was a whole list of reasons to say no. A city waiting to capture your private moments on camera. An ending that you'd be risking unravelling.
"Yeah, somewhere quiet. Just us," he suggested. "I know a place."
Was he asking you on a date? Or would you be going under the guise of friends?
"Why?" You asked softly, looking for any reason to say yes in spite of everything else.
"I miss hanging out with you," he admitted. "Getting lunch with you before was honestly the best time I've had since we broke up."
"Yeah," you spoke quietly, nodding to yourself even though he couldn't see it. "Dinner is, uh, good. We could do that."
There was a gap, a brief lull, like he might be surprised you said yes.
"Great," Suguru breathed. "I'll call you, okay?"
"Okay," you shrugged to yourself, already replaying his words, rewinding and working through your conversation before he'd even hung up.
You did miss Suguru. Missed how comfortable you used to feel around him before all the stuff with Manami started and everything got all fucked up.
Sukuna would be pissed off if he knew.
Might try to start round two of another one-sided boxing match.
But it was still enough to make you pause, force you to think about the fact you weren't sure which of them you missed more.
"Will you text me?" Suguru asked, and you couldn't help but remember how much had changed from those first two weeks you'd known him - how Satoru basically had to shove the two of you back together since you were both being stupid and stubborn.
Despite what Suguru had sworn, you had a hard time believing that he'd just let Satoru sleeping with you just slide.
"Yeah," you awkwardly confirmed.
And like the coward you were, you hung up the phone when you heard his slow inhale, cutting him off before he could say something else that might undo the rest of your call.
Staring at the screen blankly once it was over, ignoring the message from Sukuna that popped up.
You told Suguru. He'd taken it okay.
But he'd apparently known Satoru had some kind of feelings for you first.
Sukuna was already having a hard time. If you broke the news over the phone that you fucked someone he just started to become friends with, there was a nonzero chance he'd book the first flight out here to beat Satoru's ass.
And you were exhausted of being the one to break up his fights.
So, you did something you knew you could easily end up regretting later.
Why tell Sukuna now when he'd crash out just as hard when you got back home?
Silencing your phone before padding back over to the bed, burying your face back into the pillow that still smelled faintly of Satoru and made the most likely not mature decision to just go back to sleep.
Barely messaging any of the men you'd let bury themselves inside you over the next week and a half, only offering vague assurances you were fine outside of sunbathing and swimming and sleeping.
Drying out and refusing to touch another drink until your head started to clear. The fog fading into a faint outline of a plan for your return.
Yuki offered an extra room at her place for you to stay so you wouldn't have to worry about a hotel or leeching off a man. You'd have to find a new job first, although the dollar amounts attached to the handful of offers in your inbox about exclusive interviews or photoshoots were a tiny bit tempting after the defeat in already being exposed.
But you didn't want to sell your soul - not when you were still taping it together.
Once you had some form of steady employment, you'd get some cheap studio apartment, hopefully in a less shitty place than the one you left.
Still, even when you knew what you were going to do, there was only dread in your stomach when you got off the plane back to the place you used to call home.
Sunglasses still perched on the tip of your nose, one hand in your hoodie while you read a message from Kaori confirming that Jin would be there to drive you to Yuki's.
You glanced up from your phone, mouth pressed in a thin line as you scanned the crowd for him.
But there was a different pink-haired man waiting for you in the crowd.
One you recognized instantly, even if he was trying to blend into the background by leaning against the wall towards the bathroom. He was dressed up, wearing some button-up that didn't seem to belong on his wide shoulders, a nice jacket slung over his elbow, slacks clinging to his muscled thighs as he walked over to you.
You stood still, stunned at the sight of him looking more like a movie star than some guitarist who used to exclusively perform at one-star bars.
"Hey," Sukuna gruffly greeted you, wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug.
It took you a second to return it, body going stiff before you wrapped your arms back around him. Closing your eyes as your cheek got squished against his chest, feeling his palm press against the small of your back as he inhaled your new shampoo.
"Got a surprise for you," he mumbled.
"Why do you look like-" You started to ask, but he was already leading you away, interlacing his fingers with yours automatically. And there you were, following him without thinking about it too.
"Just got out of this idiotic meeting with our management," he answered, pushing up his own sunglasses as he hurried towards the closest exit. "Feel like a fuckin' prick in this."
"You look good." Your mouth moved to compliment him before your brain reminded you that you were still annoyed at him.
"Thanks," he mumbled, and even under the harsh airport lighting, you could swear his cheeks looked a little pink.
You wondered if he was worried about being seen with you.
Okay, no, that wasn't quite right.
You were worried that him being seen with you would hurt him. If it would just be another drop of resentment in your relationship.
Being seen with the girl from your rival band's leaked sex tape probably wasn't a good look.
But he didn't let go of your hand, his palms getting clammy by the time he pulled you through the exit, already hurrying across the parking lot to get to his car.
"There's fur on your jacket," you commented as you walked, plucking out a gray hair from the top of it just for his shoulders to slump a little at the sight.
"My therapist recommended I get a, uh, pet," he begrudgingly admitted. "Something to take care of."
You almost laughed.
Trying to picture him at an animal shelter scowling at all the creatures in cages.
"A pet? What'd you get?" You gawked at him, a smile tugging up on your lips against your will.
"A cat," he grumbled.
"Did you name it already? What does it look like?" You pressed, the dread in your stomach fizzling out at the idea that maybe that was the surprise.
"She already had a name," he grunted. "So before you laugh-"
"Oh my god, is it embarrassing then?" You covered your mouth, concealing the giggle that nearly escaped.
"Muffin," he muttered, definitely blushing now as he hit the button on his car keys to unlock the doors right as you approached.
"You have a cat named Muffin," you repeated, suppressing every strong urge to laugh right in his face as he opened your door for you.
"So what?" He locked his jaw, cocking his head to the side as he waited for you to get in.
You were about to - but then you saw what was already in your seat.
A blindfold.
"What's that for?" You frowned, bottom lip pushed out as you looked back up at him.
"Your surprise."
You should've known better by now.
But Sukuna always knocked you off guard. Threw you back into the deep end right when you started to crawl out.
Giving you a smirk you hadn't seen in so long that somehow convinced you to let him tie it around your eyes, even when you mumbled under your breath that he was already on thin ice.
You tried to ask where you were going.
Sukuna refused to give you a real answer. Just returning each of your questions with his own about your vacation.
And the longer you sat there, the more the guilt started to resurface.
Because as good as this was, as fun as it felt to not be fighting with him for once, you knew it would fall apart once he found out what you'd done with Satoru.
But you couldn't get yourself to say it in the car, or even outside of it when he had one palm on your back and the other fingers on your wrist as he led you inside what had to be a building, or in the elevator as you heard him press a button and the soft hum of an acoustic song.
"Sukuna, seriously, where-"
"We're literally almost there," he scolded you, and you rolled your eyes behind the thick fabric obscuring your vision. Standing there awkwardly as you shuffled on the balls of your feet, yawning as you got off the elevator - and let him lead you through a door.
"You know, I was supposed to be going to Yuki's, right-" You started, just to break the thick tension crackling between the two of you before you felt his fingers brushing against your face, tenderly tugging the blindfold down.
You didn't believe it.
Blinking at your new surroundings, him standing in front of you, the center piece of a puzzle you no longer wanted to solve.
You were in someone's apartment. Someone's very, very nice apartment.
Spacious. Open. The last light of the day streaming in. A nice TV hung up on the wall and an expensive rug underneath your feet.
It was beautiful. The sort of place you dreamed about living in one day.
"Whose place is this?" You asked, your voice coming out strained as your eyes slowly dragged over the walls.
You saw it before he said it.
An old photo of the two of you, framed in gold on a side table. Back from college, his arm slung over your shoulder as you smiled at the camera.
"It's yours," he shrugged, pulling a key from his pocket and holding it out for you to take.
"I can't afford a place like this," you shook your head, voice cracking as you stared at the pretty arched windows overlooking the city below, the new furniture he must have picked out with you in mind. Replacements for all the stuff you could've salvage.
"That's why I paid for it," he said, like it should be obvious.
"I never asked you to-"
Pure panic started to overwrite your brain, aware you were blinking too fast, breathing too hard as you took in all the tiny details he'd put into this while you were gone.
"Yeah, but you let that asshole pay for your vacation, so this is the least you can let me do," he sarcastically muttered, as if this wasn't totally different.
Lips parting to protest, but you couldn't come up with a defense, a way to explain how it wasn't the same thing at all. That was just a couple weeks where you could relax.
This felt more like the rest of your life.
Some big commitment you were scared to make - that he made for you.
Part of you wanted to pick a fight instead, accuse him of just trying to one-up Satoru, but you were speechless.
Staring at him as you tried to catch your breath, overwhelmed by what he'd done for you. Without even knowing what you'd done when he wasn't there.
"The rent has to be fucking insane," you started to stammer, taking a few steps forward only for him to follow you.
"That's why I just bought it," he bluntly said, like it was that simple. You didn't know what to say. How to feel.
You knew he had money.
Enough for his car and guitars. Enough to pay for his apartment and his house.
But he still bought the same old clothes and lived off the same food, didn't splurge on designer shit or anything extravagant.
It wasn't who he was.
"It's-"
Sukuna frowned, brows scrunched together like he knew you were going to tell him it was too much.
"Live here for a month and see if you like it," he suggested. But the problem wasn't that you wouldn't like it. The problem was he knew you would love it.
And now, you'd have to wake up in a bed every day that Sukuna bought for you.
Or maybe it was just that this was another big change in your relationship, a moment showcasing his maturity when you were still struggling to pick yourself up from rock bottom.
He had a huge setback, and still here he was, pushing forward and trying to move past it while you just felt stuck.
"What if you hate me one day?"
He just looked at you like you just posed the dumbest question on the planet. How else were you supposed to tell him that you were starting to think that all you'd ever do was hurt each other?
"You're the only person I could never hate," he grunted.
But it was still tiring to be the only one he liked.
"What if-"
"I don't give a shit what happens," he cut you off before you could ask him another hypothetical, before you could overanalyze his answers and his attitude and try to figure out if you fit in his life or if you were both just forcing it. "I bought this because I want you to have everything you want."
You thought back to what you said to Satoru.
And maybe, deep inside your chest, you were starting to have the faintest inkling of what that was.
"Stop staring at me like there's a catch. It's just yours," Sukuna repeated, as if you'd suddenly accept it when he said it a second time. Stepping closer to put the key directly in your palm, closing your fingers around it. "No strings attached."
"No strings attached?" You echoed him, thinking back to the last time the two of you thought that was a good idea.
"You can stop talking to me forever after I walk out that door if you want," he shrugged, even though he was looking back at you like it would kill him if you actually did. "If you're sick of me."
"You still really shouldn't have-" You began scolding him, softer this time as he shook his head.
"I should've done it years ago," he insisted, regret glinting in his eyes. "I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you."
It shouldn't get to you.
But you felt yourself wavering, heart thumping too fast as you felt the ridges of the key dig into your palm.
"I guess you can give me a tour of the place," you reluctantly muttered.
He did.
Echoing statements you guessed he probably heard from a real estate agent as he pointed out square footage and open spaces, grunting where he got some of your new stuff while you recognized what few items you'd boxed up to be put in storage, mentioning that he already moved your car to the parking lot and left your keys back in the kitchen.
It was exceeded you first impression.
Set up just the way Sukuna knew you would like it - and you were reminded of just how well he really did know you.
Once your mini-tour was over, he ran back down to grab your stuff from the backseat of his car, bringing it back up and dropping it by your door as he awkwardly stood next to them.
"I'm gonna head out," he spoke slowly, all gravelly and rough. "Gotta feed Muffin."
"Pet her for me," you muttered, leaning against the wall as you stifled your surprise that he wasn't staying. Not trying to sleepover or even spend the night on the couch.
He stepped over your bags, pausing in front of you to look down at your face, studying your features with a softness you still couldn't get used to.
"Can you come with me to my therapy session tomorrow?" he murmured, reaching out to graze his fingers against your cheek. His jaw locked like he'd like to do a lot more, but holding himself back.
Refusing to rush into it the way you both always did.
Trying to stay at the same speed for once instead of too fast or too slow.
"Send me the address," you nodded. You already agreed to it before, hadn't you?
Besides, you could use a therapist.
A third party to break down what you felt and what the hell you were supposed to do with it when you were sure your heart had been split in different halves.
Maybe you could break it to him that you fucked Satoru there while you were at it.
reblogs n comments are super appreciated <3 love hearing your thoughts as always ! i was actually going to have the therapy appointment in this one but it was already getting pretty long so i decided to split it and put it in the next one!
f1 driver!Gojo who left you in college after signing his first contract overseas, telling himself it was the right thing to do because long distance would’ve only dragged you down, and the airport goodbyes would’ve turned into resentment eventually (even though you never once asked him to choose between you and his dreams…)
f1 driver!Gojo told you that he didn’t want you waiting around for him while he chased his dreams, said that he’d rather you hate him now than grow to hate him later. Who actually believed it was “the mature and responsible thing to do”.
f1 driver!Gojo raced with Ferrari at twenty three and threw himself into it headfirst, training until his hands blistered and his body ached, watching his name climb headlines, thinking he’d made the right choice.
f1 driver!Gojo never knew unread messages were sitting in his inbox, never questioned why you suddenly stopped reaching out.
f1 driver!Gojo had five seasons of trophies and interviews and cameras flashing in his face, until he eventually had a bad season and started spiraling. He watched the internet turn on him overnight, scrolled through hate comments at one in the morning in his fancy hotel suite, reading strangers call him “overrated” and “washed up”. Who stared up at the ceiling and thought about the last time someone looked at him without expectations.
f1 driver!Gojo for some stupid reason, drove across the city and stood in front of your door because he couldn’t sit with himself any longer. That, and the fact that you were the only person who ever made him feel loved and supported.
f1 driver!Gojo almost didn’t expect the door to open to your tired face. He also didn’t expect a small kid to run down the hallway, hiding behind your leg, peeking up at him with your hair and his eyes, bright blue and curious.
f1 driver!Gojo almost threw up on your slippers.
f1 driver!Gojo understood before you could say a word. But he listened anyway when you explained that you tried to tell him, that you found out you were pregnant a month after he left. That you called and texted and waited for nothing, because his manager was a piece of shit that never passed along a single message that didn’t fit the image they’d built.
f1 driver!Gojo stood there feeling sick, knowing that you had to go through it all alone – the pregnancy and the birth – while he lived an oblivious life of luxury. Who didn’t get to see first steps, hear first words, or blow out first birthday candles. Who had to acknowledge the fact that he was a stranger in his own son’s life.
f1 driver!Gojo refused to miss anything else. He wanted to see him again and he meant it. He didn’t argue when you reasonably hesitated, agreed to meet at a park the next afternoon because he knew you needed time to talk to your son first.
f1 driver!Gojobarely slept that night from nerves, and showed up early with a small replica of his car in a gift bag because he had no idea how to act around a four year old who’d only heard stories about him. Who had to watch the hesitation in his son’s eyes, the years of distance and disappointment he’d regret for the rest of his life.
f1 driver!Gojo immediately fell in love with this kid though. Listening as he started babbling about racing and different drivers and teams he liked. Who had to swallow down his pride when he learned that his son’s favorite was Verstappen on RedBull instead of him (and the nausea when he innocently mentioned that “mommy thinks he’s cute”).
f1 driver!Gojo loved watching his son light up over the toy car, letting him sit in the driver’s seat of his real one parked nearby, showing him videos from inside the cockpit. Who realized that admiration was easy to earn, that excitement came quick when he had trophies and loud engines and cool stories.
f1 driver!Gojo knew you’d be harder to convince, but he understood that you couldn’t be won over with toys and promises, that you’d been there every day and handled it all alone. Who had to accept that his son reached for your hand first, naturally leaned into your side when he got tired, because trust had been built without him and he’d have to earn his place
f1 driver!Gojo walked back to his car alone afterward, with grass on his jeans and his son’s sweet little voice replaying in his head, desperately trying to figure out how he was supposed to be a father and a Ferrari driver at the same time. But he knew he wanted both.
a/n: this is written very poorly, but my sleep deprived brain is gonna post this anyway without overthinking it
Juno, ily with all my heart. You’re the best writer I’ve ever read. I’ve read every single one of your stories, and they’re ALL amazing—I love them with all my being (although I’ll never get over TSaH, it’s been the most beautiful story I’ve ever read). You’re an incredible writer and person. I hope you drop the next part of TECQ soon, but take your time. Ily 🫶
You’re so very sweet and this is so lovely to hear. With all of the hate and drama circulating tumblr right now, it’s nice to know that you guys genuinely like my work and the stories I’m telling, even when I’m not feeling inspired or I need a break. And thank you for sticking through my random posting schedule, I’m sure it’s annoying waiting for the next updates that are long overdue.
heyy girl are you going to finish the Half of Me series anytime soon?
LOVE THE SERIES BTW
Sorry for replying so late!
I'm still very sure about the fate of Half of Me. I was very passionate about this series when it was coming out, because it was the second thing I'd ever written! But as of lately, I feel uninspired. Maybe not even necessarily that, but I'm unhappy with the way the plot has gone so far. Looking back, with Hana's character and Suguru's role in the story, I really do wish I had expanded on them a bit more. This isn't a glamorization of cheating, Hana isn't supposed to be this one-dimensional bad guy in the story, and I should have included a little more backstory with her first I think. And with Suguru, I wanted to give Reader someone to fall back on that wasn't Gojo (who's an absolute mess), but again, that storyline of them together felt rushed. And then there's Gojo's characterization as well, which I feel like a lot of people weren't a fan of.
So as of right now, the series is on hiatus indefinitely. And I know a lot of people were fans of that one, so maybe when I'm done with a few other projects, I'll find my way back. But I'm also considering cancelling...
sleeping around with the staff at your shitty waitressing job can't go that wrong...right?
synopsis: feelings and fucking should be kept separate. especially in the work place. so how come it hurts so bad to watch the hot bartender who brought you home last weekend flirt with pretty customers? and how far will you go to get over him - or under someone else?
pairings: Gojo x Reader, Geto x Reader, Sukuna x Reader, Nanami x Reader
content: mdni, TW: HARASSMENT AND MISOGYNY (NAOYA), fluff and angst, restaurant AU, waitress!reader, bartender!Geto, waiter!Gojo, chef!Sukuna, manager!Nanami, also includes food runner!Choso, reader is sleeping around, mentions of past friends-with-benefits, emotional hurt, complicated feelings, anxious/insecure reader, gruff but soft sukuna, slightly possessive nanami, naoya being the biggest asshat on the planet, attempted assault, but reader breaks his nose instead lmfao, naoya getting immediately humbled, VERY protective men coming to reader's rescue
divider by @/saradika-graphics !!
"I can’t believe you're training me.”
It only took ten minutes with Nanami's new hire to discover a new type of hatred as your trainee dragged his haughty stare down your body.
You thought the hardest part of your shift would be avoiding all the men attempting to worm their way into your panties. Not stop yourself from strangling someone who clearly had never been taught manners.
"Is there a problem with that?" You asked, tilting your head to the side as you double-checked the order you'd just written down in your server book.
"You're a girl," Nagoya grimaced, nose wrinkling with disgust as you resisted the urge to hit him.
And you’re a dick.
You didn’t actually say that though. Biting your tongue before you managed to swallow the venom in your reply, “And?”
"I was under the impression I'd be working at the bar, not following you around to serve-" Sukuna's booming voice calling out to the other cooks interrupted him before he could finish saying what would probably be just another insult or slur.
“Most of our bartenders started as servers,” you informed him, forcing yourself to keep a straight face as he openly scoffed at you.
"I doubt there's anything I could learn from you," he snickered under his breath, right as you passed the ticket back to Sukuna.
He snatched it, pausing for a second when he realized it was from you, his dark eyes squinting at you like he could sense something was wrong.
But before he could point it out, Yuki was poking her head through and calling out to you, "Hey, you just got sat again at table four."
"Thanks," you murmured, unable to hide the disdainful look you threw at Naoya as you nodded at him. "Come on."
Maybe you'd pull Nanami aside at the end of night, ask him to put Naoya with someone else tomorrow.
He'd listen, wouldn't he?
It wasn't like you were asking him to fire the asshole. Even if you wished he would.
You worked with Yorozu without any actual issues in spite of her snide remarks.
It wasn't like ignoring Naoya would be that much harder.
But once, again, you were wrong.
In a handful of hours, you had already came up with an entire catalogue of things to hate about him.
You hated his smarmy smirk and the annoying voice that came with it.
You hated the way his stare kept drifting towards your chest like he was entitled to the view.
Hated how strong his awful cologne was and how he swaggered around like he was somehow so much better than the rest of you.
He bragged to you while you made drinks about how this was really beneath him, just some PR stunt for his powerful family to make them seem more humble while his father ran for political office.
Almost acting like you should be honored to be breathing the same air as him, grateful to exist in the same space.
Was he born an absolute moron? Or was his misogynistic attitude simply a result of how he was raised? Spoiled until whatever soul he had rotted?
Suguru constantly throwing you those longing glances every time you had to go up to the bar and put in drink orders wasn't helping, especially when you had an annoying fly buzzing around you berating you for just being a woman, demanding to know why you were doing things a certain way as if he was the one that knew the best.
"Can we talk after work?" Your former lover murmured softly when you finally sent Naoya to run out some of your food while you waited on a drink.
"I'm really tired," you quietly replied, rubbing underneath your eyes as you glanced away from him at the handful of tables you had left. Satoru was checking on his own, laughing with the customers - until he somehow sensed you looking his way, his head tilting back towards you just for his smile to immediately transform into that annoyingly cute pout.
"You've been frowning almost all night," Suguru softly pointed out, concern etched into his face that made your chest constrict. You shouldn't let it get to you. Shouldn't let him get to you. Not when you both knew you were sleeping with someone else.
"Long shift," you shrugged, reorganizing your apron as you realized you were already running low on straw again with a sigh.
Suguru noticed.
He could be annoyingly observant when he wanted to be.
"I'll take your drink out for you," he said, giving you an out instead of trying to trap you in a conversation.
Should you appreciate him for being considerate? Or was it really just the bare minimum?
You couldn't tell when some small sliver of you still attached to him sorta wished he'd try harder to get you to stay.
"Thanks," you mumbled, walking away before he could say anything to make you second guess your relationship with him even more.
Besides, you could use two minutes in the storage room to take a break and breathe before you imploded on the idiot who'd been tagging along with you to all your tables.
Was Naoya your sign to quit?
To go home and immediately put in all those applications you'd been pushing off? The universe screaming at you that this wasn't where you were supposed to be?
The door to the storage room swung open right as you were about to reach for it, stepping back just in time to avoid getting hit as Choso's eyes widened, ringed with red as he abruptly coughed and cleared his throat.
"Shit, sorry," he muttered, his deep voice coming out even more gravelly than usual as he dropped something in his pocket.
"No worries," you swallowed hard as he stepped around you, squeezing your shoulder as he brushed by in some gesture of...friendliness?
You were pretty sure he wasn't even thinking about it, his attention already back on the kitchen as he started back towards it, probably hoping to return before Sukuna caught on to what he was doing.
The storage room was empty though, although the smell of his vape was still lingering in the air when you walked up to the shelves.
You reached up for extra straws, exhaling hard as you tried to recollect yourself, the same thought that you only had to make it through another hour before you could go home.
Sixty minutes to suffer through Naoya's never-ending onslaught of complaints and bitching. The irritating comments he'd mutter under his breath and that snotty scowl that was making your tables tip you less despite your best attempts to put on your prettiest smile and turn up the charm.
You had a few minutes before you'd have to go check on your tables again, so maybe you could go to Nanami and ask if he'd go ahead and send Naoya home now so you could tell him all the awful shit he'd been saying to you.
The door opened, but you didn't turn around, distracted still stuffing the straws in your apron when you felt a sudden weight behind you. Part of you almost thought it was Gojo, that this was some stupid joke or him trying to catch you alone to apologize.
But you realized the second the scent of his cologne hit you that it wasn't him.
"So, did you fuck the boss to get your job?" Naoya sneered in your ear, his hot breath making you wince just before something hard pressed into your back.
You felt fucking ill, bumps racing down your arms as you begged your body to move. Some bright red sign flashing danger in your mind while your legs refused to budge as his hand crept underneath the hem of your dress.
"Heard that other waitress yapping about what a whore you are," he snickered, grabbing your ass right as you snapped out of it, twisting hard and bringing your elbow back hard into his face out of pure instinct.
There was the sound of something snapping, but you were storming out before he could retaliate. Throat constricting tight as the edges of your vision blurred, hearing the footsteps behind you but not turning even when he called you a fucking bitch, ignoring the other voices of concerned coworkers you passed by as you hurried straight for Nanami's office.
His head snapped up when you threw the door open and walked in, neat blond brows immediately pinching together in worry at whatever expression you must have been wearing. But you couldn't catch your breath, hands shaking as you weakly gestured behind you as he got out of his chair.
"What happened-"
"He just cornered me in the storage room and grabbed my ass and I-"
You didn't even get to finish stammering out an explanation before loud footsteps made you whirl around.
"You broke my fucking nose," Naoya snapped, absolutely seething as he started back towards you. Blood was pouring down his nostrils, one hand pressed against it to slow it down, but it was still dripping all over the floor.
Before he could get to you, Nanami was moving around to put himself in between the two of you.
"Did you touch her?" His stern voice dropped somehow lower, a degree of lethality in it you weren't expecting when you shrank back.
"Don't act like you didn't like it, you fucking slut," Naoya scowled at you, pointing a bloody finger at you. You were automatically shaking your head, scoffing back at him as Nanami protectively held out a hand in front of you.
"You're fired," Nanami spoke firmly, his shoulders tense as stood completely still. He almost looked like a statue, frozen and frigid as he held fast in place.
"She hit me," he gawked.
"You groped her," Nanami grunted back.
"What the fuck did you do?"
You caught a glimpse of pink in the doorway before Naoya's head snapped backwards - literally.
Sukuna had grabbed his roots, dragging him by his scalp without hesitating for a second, an undignified squeal escaping your former trainee at being physically pulled out of the room.
You didn't have to take a wild guess to assume he happened to overhear.
"You, you-" Naoya stammered, unable to come up with anything remotely intelligent to say as Sukuna just laughed at him.
"What? You don't see a problem with touchin' people when they don't like it so why should I?" He sarcastically retorted, practically growling as he pulled him through to the hall.
Nanami started trailing behind them, and your feet were following before common sense could stop them, even if you knew that it probably wouldn't end well.
Everyone in the kitchen had paused cooking, something clearly burning and making your nose scrunch as all the servers and bartenders stopped what they were doing to watch the latest show.
It wasn't the first time Sukuna had, uh, escorted someone out, but it was the first time it was by the hair. Or with a broken nose.
"My father will-"
"Aw, you wanna go cry to your daddy?" Sukuna mocked him, refusing to stop until he was opening the side door and throwing him out on the concrete before stepping outside too.
"Sukuna, that's enough," Nanami scolded, intending to intervene before it could escalate, well aware of all the eyes on the four of you now as you followed both of them out the exit, but Sukuna wasn't finished.
And neither was Naoya.
"Are you sleeping with her too?" He snapped, mouth opening wide in a nasty smile like he was begging for a few teeth to be knocked out of it. Sukuna shoved him back down against the concrete when he tried to stand, but you were trying to slip past Nanami to preserve what little you had left of your pride after it had been stomped on so many times in the past two weeks.
"I would rather fuck a cheese grater than go within ten feet of your-"
Someone was picking you up before you could finish while Naoya was began sputtering a frenzied insult back.
You didn't get to see what shut him up - just hearing the heavy thud as you were carried back inside.
"Put me down," you huffed, squirming as you were placed back on the ground - while everyone who'd been staring at the door immediately went back to pretending to work.
"You're trembling," Suguru pointed out as you turned around to face him. Grinding your molars as you dug your nails into your palm to stop yourself from shaking, your sharp inhales not doing much to make you seem put-together when you shrugged.
You wanted to tell him you were okay.
But you couldn't come up with something to say that would convince him of that. Not when he knew you well enough to see it all over your expression that everything was wrong.
His hand was on your back, not too far from where Nanami's had been earlier as he rubbed soothing circles over it like he used to do once upon a time. Leaning in closer, attempting to comfort you out of what? Habit?
To try to win you over by reminding you of what things used to be like?
"He pressed his dick against my back and grabbed my ass," you muttered, swallowing the disgust that had crawled back to the surface. Desperate for a shower like you'd be able to scrub the phantom feeling he'd left off your skin. "I was just defending myself."
Sukuna had stepped back inside, Nanami right there with him as he slammed the door shut. You cringed at the sound, the lump in your throat calcifying into something too hard for you to choke down when his mouth twitched down into an even deeper scowl glancing between you and Suguru, who refused to remove his hand.
Probably trying to prove a petty point to Nanami that he wasn't just going to let him have you just like that.
Although the blond man was busy rubbing his temple, jaw clenched at the second mess you made that he'd be stuck helping clean up while Sukuna's stare settled squarely on you again.
