… Sammy always tried, always tried to understand despite the circumstances of any situation. He always tried to be there, especially for his friend. His close friend, even? One of his closest and dearest friends. His heart ached for him in the most unexplainable ways, as he bit his lower lip, teeth sinking harshly into the flesh, a bad habit he picked up so long ago when he was being yelled by his grandparents, always telling him to be quiet, until he actually did stop talking completely.
IT WAS HORRIBLE. The whole ordeal. He hated it all, how people came and went, how people always walked into their lives and left. Sammy remembered it all, he remembered how they first met, and how they first became friends. How they stumbled around each other, unsure of how to talk, how to speak, until everything suddenly made sense between the blurred lines and blurred limitations of what they call their own friendship. Sammy was sure, that most of the time, they didn’t even know what they were doing, but when they talked, and when they hung out, it all made sense, at least to him, it did.
He stared at the hand he was holding, only to look up at his friend when he head the small ‘tsk’, lips parting and ready to retaliate, only to stay still, when he noticed how close his friend actually was. He could feel his own cheeks heat up, matching Junhong’s, his eyes widening, only to fall back on their hands, biting his lower lip again. He waited, wanting to see where this would go, and he cursed how his heart sped up, and how the tips of his ears burned. He cursed it all, how it made him feel. It was something he remembered happening in the past, not too long ago, thinking it was long forgotten, but was it really?
He cleared his throat and looked away when the younger male pulled away, unable to pinpoint what he actually felt. Was he disappointed? What was he actually expecting? He didn’t know. But he didn’t feel weirded out, or as if it was wrong. It threw a bunch of question at him, and made him wonder, and think of things he hadn’t in a long time. Things he always wanted to ask, but never had the courage to, things he wondered if he did ask, would he get an actual honest answer. But he was too afraid. So afraid.
He didn’t know why people always left them. And he wished he did. But he didn’t. But Junhong had nothing wrong with him. No, he didn’t at all, and Sammy was sure of it, because to him, his friend was amazing, and strong in so many ways. He had so many qualities, things that made him funny and simply down to earth. There were so many things he loved about him and cherished about him, and it made his heart hurt thinking of how he thought there was something wrong with himself. If there was someone who had many faults, it would be himself. He had so many faults, and nearly not as many qualities. He was… just useless in so many ways, and not nearly good enough, for anyone.
He could feel his eyes tear up again, and dammit, for what reason, really? Why was he being so goddamn emotional all of the sudden? The whole thing was completely ridiculous, and he hated it. He hated how he was hurting for his friend, and how he was hurting now too, thinking of everything they’ve been through and seen each other go through.
He quickly shook his head, giving his friend’s hand a small, yet firm squeeze as he leant in, nearly hesitantly, cheeks pink, before pressing his lips on the skin right above the corner of his lips, a simple brush of the lips that meant so much, at least to him, giving an other firm shake of his head, fingers still intertwined, the tips of his ears flushing, “No. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re.. you’re perfect. If there’s anything wrong with someone, it’s with me… I’m just. Full of faults. But.. you’re.. You’re wonderful, okay? To me, you are.”
For, in the end, Sammy did only see the best in people ( and to think, even ZELO out of all people ) but then again, Junhong assumed it was due to the fat his friend’s knowledge of his true self wasn’t enough to suffice the full understanding of his nature. It was enough however, to know Zelo’s stubbornness, carelessness & dismissive attitude. Yet, he continued to to desicrive him in such words that caused the elder’s heart to choke back a beat because . . . PERFECTION?
The word itself clung onto Zelo, not to mention the sensation of a racing heart once the other leaned forward and placed his lips on his skin. Above the corner of his lips ( sure ), and perhaps it was out of comfort more than anything else. It was nothing more than that . . . just a friend pitying and deciding to demonstrate his emotional support with a peck but . . . IT WAS SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. Zelo saw it -- he felt it.
. . . felt it in the way his hand was squeezed & held; felt it in the word PERFECT rang & echoed in his ears; felt it in the soft peck of his lips on Juhong’s skin --- firm yet soft, like fresh snow that’d crunch underneath footsteps --- and Zelo quickly decided IT WASN’T ENOUGH.
Eyes that were kept locked on the lips that had been planted on his skin, Junhong swore the whole world blurred, his conscience, all thoughts -- one of those that opposed the act so harshly -- but what did it matter? As- ULTIMATELY, humans ran by instinct rather than paced, thorough, logical planning. No -- NO MORE -- because for years now he had forced down such thoughts & feelings he felt were so sinful according to the rule book of social conventions, because wasn’t it terribly awful? To--- GOD FORBID . . . feel things . . . for friends?
But finally, FINALLY, after years of holding back, Junhong instinctively leaned forward ( leaping almost ) for his lips to crash together with his friend’s, his large hand holding the back of the other’s head, pulling him in closer. He supposed the reason for that was just in case if his friend did decide too, to kiss back -- but then again, the chances of even that were slim.
The only way to describe such an event would probably be . . . WARM. It wasn’t particularly ‘hot’, though it wasn’t as if it lacked passion. It was just . . . well, how does one put a first kiss in words? Perhaps if you asked Junhong again ( that being said, it’d most likely take violent force for him to admit such personal moments ) he’d probably say ‘ comforting, i suppose-- insightful, too, made me wonder why i never did it before, but it just felt like . . . nothing was missing anymore, y’know? ‘
And now, whatever would happen would be between them because Junhong would sure to be too embarrassed for confessing REJECTION & well, if Sammy were to react in acceptance, then . . . AH, WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF THAT HAPPENING?
Well, ‘suppose that Choi Junhong will be in for a surprise.
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