hoe/life tips

a collection of tips

[glouptips]

[chillputa]

HOE TIPS ✨✨✨

1. shaving with men’s razors can give you a closer and cleaner shave making the area smoother and helping it to also last longer. they are also cheaper than women’s razors 

2. shaving with coconut oil/hair conditioner is cheaper than using typical shaving creams/gels and they can also leave the area feeling super soft and smooth and can also reduce razor cuts and burns 

3. try not to shave your vagina too much and try to go longer in between shaves. there is hair there for a reason, it helps to protect the vagina from bacteria and disease and if your partner doesn’t like you having hair on your vagina or hair anywhere else on your body, forget about them!!! hair is completely natural and there isn’t much you can do about it

4. vaginas will never taste like mangoes and strawberries, it’s a vagina… but avoiding foods that are super greasy and eating more fruits can help to make it smell and taste better

5. wash your vagina with just water and don’t use any soaps/body wash around that area. the vagina has its own pH levels and adding things to the area can mess with that. having a balanced pH level also means that the vagina will smell better

6. don’t wash your vagina too often throughout the day, the vagina also has good bacteria and washing it too much means you’re also gonna be washing away all that good bacteria that’s meant to be there. the vagina is self cleansing

7. try wearing breathable underwear as often a possible as it will help keep your vagina feeling fresh and can also prevent yeast infections

8. if you want your makeup to last throughout sex the use a long wear foundation, set your makeup in place with powder, use a setting spray and wear liquid lipsticks (i recommend using estee lauder double wear foundation, urban decay all nighter setting spray and kat von d/colourpop/anastasia beverly hills liquid lipsticks, they all last through pretty much anything)

9. stretch marks are completely normal and pretty much everyone has them but if you want to get rid of them or reduce the appearance of your stretch marks then try using coconut oil/bio oil over the area every day and eventually they will begin to fade 

10. make sure to moisturise daily as it will help keep your skin feeling soft and smooth

11. spray perfume/deodorant just before having sex so that you stay smelling good as sex can become super sweaty

12. never depend on men to carry protection with them, keep some spares in your purse

13. before having sex make sure that you do lots of foreplay as it will make you feel more aroused and this will help make the sex feel better for you

14. make sure to be well lubricated and keep lube on hand for when needed

15. communication is always key when it comes to having sex! if you’re feeling uncomfortable or if it’s hurting for you then make sure that you tell your partner, let them know if you want them to go slower or try different angels and positions. if you want them to stop then it’s also important that you tell them to, sometimes having a safe word can also help (a safe word can be absolutely anything) 

16. always make sure to pee after sex as it can help to eliminate any bacteria and prevent any chances of having a urinary tract infection 

17. baking soda can help to get rid of cum stains 

18. always use protection! even if you’re on the pill or using other contraceptive methods you still wanna use condoms during sex as it will prevent you from getting STIs

19. instead of using an oil-based product for lube use something that is water-based as oil-based products can increase the chances of condoms breaking (including vaseline, don’t use it). using two condoms can also increase the chances of this due to friction, instead try looking for condoms that are extra strong

20. don’t do anything that you’re not 100% sure about!!! if you don’t want to have sex you do not have to and you should never let anyone pressure you into doing anything that you don’t want to do 

have fun hoeing!!!!! 💞💞💞

[playboyearrings]

hoe tips 💅💕

• if you have sensitive skin, avoid foaming cleansers that act as astringets!! lemon and witch hazel cleansers are going to tear your shit up and leave your skin thinner and fucked. go with aloe and natural ingredients for better results, no problemo bih 👊

• that drink 8 cups or 64oz don’t work for me. makes a bitch too damn full!! work your way from soda and sugary drinks like juice and take it step by step. drink the amount of water goes hand in hand with your weight, not just out of the blue 5-6 cups. a good alternative is putting fruit, like cranberries, cantoloupe, and pomegranate in your water. it sure to make you feel at least a little better and, although no scientific evidence, may help your coochie taste better if you have one. if nonbinary/or male, it will help to make you feel healthier 👌

• don’t go too all out on those lip scrubs! if you do it too often, such as four times a week, your lips are going to get drier, crustier, and feel stripped and thin. we’ve all been there! exfoliate 1-2x a week to avoid this. 💋

• mix avocado oil, jojoba oil, sweet almond oil, and aloe vera gel and dilute the oils with water and pour it into a spray bottle. this is crucial as a detangler and a boost to the hair. makes it all soft and shit 👏

• rub rose hip oil on your lips after a long day sipping and eating. 100% guaranteed, they will be softer and more refreshed 💞

• lips are what everybody looks at. do you want them looking chapped asf?! invest in a lip mask. slather on organic manuka honey that is unrefined for 10 minutes, and then wash off with warm water or a washcloth👍

• if you want the arched, faded eyebrow look to be perfect and you have no idea how to do that, just brush the beginning of your eyebrow up in delicate upwards motions with a spoolie until they look light and flared out. take a cheap gel eyeliner, (elf makeup is great for this!!!) and make your eyebrows into your desired arch shape. then fill them in with slight strokes so they ain’t THAT thick and walah!!! 😎

• tumblr kids never sleep, and that probably makes us wake up with dark circles and eye bags. don’t fret! to nix puffiness, dampen a washcloth with ice cold water and leave it on your eyes and under them for 3-5 minutes. if this is in the morning, it energizes you and makes them go away temporarily. long term products for this is olay illuminating eye cream. it’s only $24, and you dab it on them and rub it in. works in a flash! 👼

• rose water is a GREAT toner! the hype over it is real and justified. once you dab it on your face with a cotton ball, you immediately feel refreshed and ready to start your day 💪 poppy austin has a rose water facial toner for $20 that’s pure. it’s on amazon.

• applying sunscreen is essential to protect your skin from those nasty uv rays. but some forget their hair! if you get a sunburn on your scalp, it will hurt like HELL 🔥use spray sunscreen specialized for hair and slightly mist your hairline to avoid it. use a heat protectant like argan oil if you a broke hoe like me 💯 stack up!

on another note, don’t trust hair products with supposed uv filters. those only protect your hair color, not your actual hair!

• washing your hair, it’s better to wash it first with hot/warm water and then do the second wash with cold water to close up and seal moisture into the hair follicles! 4c hair especially needs this 👱

• hair products with OIL, PLASTICIZERS, and SILICONES will definitely clog your pores if they get on your skin and will leave your ass at square 1!! avoid that.

• yogurt, kefir, kombucha, and miso soup are all probiotics that help fasten metabolism and hold moisture in your skin! 😇 that’s why yogurt face masks are bomb and every person should try them :)

• if you live in new york, atlanta, etc., you are bound to pollution. that’s why it’s always good to wash your face before bed to get rid of pollutant particles that will clog pores. afterwards, apply an antioxidant serum and a good moisturizer! lean towards products with white tea, green tea, and vitamin c to make the ultimate pore-cleansing mask! it’ll leave your skin feeling clean and make it glow 🌟🌟

• deep condition your hair 1-2 times a week or every two weeks!! it’s intense and has your hair feeling silky smooth. avocado, mayo, honey, sweet almond oil, and coconut oil mixture is my go-to, and my curls have blossomed! if you buy a deep conditioner from the store, make sure it’s water based and is sulfate free and paraben free (shea moisture and as i am are superb for beard cleansers as well!)👸💋

• go barefaced. prove to misogynistic assholes that makeup does not define a person’s beauty or attractiveness nor their personality. embrace your flaws and remain imperfect to society, because you are the one who knows that you are perfect 💋👏👏

• be yourself, work hard, and recognize your fucking worth 💕💕💕

• btw, honey ain’t shit if it’s not organic and raw. coconut oil ain’t shit for the hair or skin if it’s not unrefined, organic, and virgin (extra virgin is even better)! essential oil like tea tree oil that helps as acne treatments are skin-thinners if you don’t dilute them with water or a different substance. rose water ain’t shit if it’s not organic and 100% pure 😑😢 invest in your skincare/lifestyle! go online and dig for the right prices and take them before they’re all gone!

happy hoeing!

[chillputa]

HOE TIPS ✨✨✨

1. shaving with men’s razors can give you a closer and cleaner shave making the area smoother and helping it to also last longer. they are also cheaper than women’s razors 

2. shaving with coconut oil/hair conditioner is cheaper than using typical shaving creams/gels and they can also leave the area feeling super soft and smooth and can also reduce razor cuts and burns 

3. try not to shave your vagina too much and try to go longer in between shaves. there is hair there for a reason, it helps to protect the vagina from bacteria and disease and if your partner doesn’t like you having hair on your vagina or hair anywhere else on your body, forget about them!!! hair is completely natural and there isn’t much you can do about it

4. vaginas will never taste like mangoes and strawberries, it’s a vagina… but avoiding foods that are super greasy and eating more fruits can help to make it smell and taste better

5. wash your vagina with just water and don’t use any soaps/body wash around that area. the vagina has its own pH levels and adding things to the area can mess with that. having a balanced pH level also means that the vagina will smell better

6. don’t wash your vagina too often throughout the day, the vagina also has good bacteria and washing it too much means you’re also gonna be washing away all that good bacteria that’s meant to be there. the vagina is self cleansing

7. try wearing breathable underwear as often a possible as it will help keep your vagina feeling fresh and can also prevent yeast infections

8. if you want your makeup to last throughout sex the use a long wear foundation, set your makeup in place with powder, use a setting spray and wear liquid lipsticks (i recommend using estee lauder double wear foundation, urban decay all nighter setting spray and kat von d/colourpop/anastasia beverly hills liquid lipsticks, they all last through pretty much anything)

9. stretch marks are completely normal and pretty much everyone has them but if you want to get rid of them or reduce the appearance of your stretch marks then try using coconut oil/bio oil over the area every day and eventually they will begin to fade 

10. make sure to moisturise daily as it will help keep your skin feeling soft and smooth

11. spray perfume/deodorant just before having sex so that you stay smelling good as sex can become super sweaty

12. never depend on men to carry protection with them, keep some spares in your purse

13. before having sex make sure that you do lots of foreplay as it will make you feel more aroused and this will help make the sex feel better for you

14. make sure to be well lubricated and keep lube on hand for when needed

15. communication is always key when it comes to having sex! if you’re feeling uncomfortable or if it’s hurting for you then make sure that you tell your partner, let them know if you want them to go slower or try different angels and positions. if you want them to stop then it’s also important that you tell them to, sometimes having a safe word can also help (a safe word can be absolutely anything) 

16. always make sure to pee after sex as it can help to eliminate any bacteria and prevent any chances of having a urinary tract infection 

17. baking soda can help to get rid of cum stains 

18. always use protection! even if you’re on the pill or using other contraceptive methods you still wanna use condoms during sex as it will prevent you from getting STIs

19. instead of using an oil-based product for lube use something that is water-based as oil-based products can increase the chances of condoms breaking (including vaseline, don’t use it). using two condoms can also increase the chances of this due to friction, instead try looking for condoms that are extra strong

20. don’t do anything that you’re not 100% sure about!!! if you don’t want to have sex you do not have to and you should never let anyone pressure you into doing anything that you don’t want to do 

have fun hoeing!!!!! 💞💞💞

[just--thetip]

holy shit i only just realised i actually have followers lmao hiiiiii 💖

[chirsbrowns-blog]

MASTURBATION & SEX:

coconut oil is a great lubricant to use while masturbating but you should never use it during p-in-v sex, it will break down the condom.

masturbate! there’s nothing wrong with it, almost everybody does it, and it’s extremely healthy. it decreases stress, strengthens your immune system, releases neurochemicals like dopamine and oxytocin which make you feel good & it helps you find out more about your body and therefore what you do and do not like in bed.

if u want your coochie to smell & taste amazing, you gotta do more than eat some pineapple from time to time. drink lots of water, cranberry juice, pineapple juice and apple juice and also make sure to eat yoghurt, fruits & veggies. not only are they healthy and will they keep the coochie clean from the inside, they will also make it taste like heaven. 

everybody who has a vagina has heard this before but it’s really important so i’ll repeat it: always wipe your coochie from front to back. this prevents yeast infections. 

pee asap after sex/masturbation!! it cleans your coochie and therefore prevents UTI’s. 

for all the people with a vagina who are planning to fuck someone with a penis: don’t rely on the person w/ the penis for condoms. bring them yourself, just in case.

there’s a lot more to sex than just touching your partner’s private areas. get your partner ready for some fun by touching their sensitive areas! here’s a list of the most sensitive areas of the human body: female, male, both.

here are some guides on how to eat pussy like it’s your last meal: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.

here are some guides on how to suck dick like a pro: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

in addition to these wonderful guides on how to suck dick, here are some guides on how to control your gag reflex: 1, 2, 3, 4.

remember that little to nothing you see in porn is real. porn (usually) is a video of a man pleasuring himself, using a woman’s body. this is not how sex is supposed to be, at all. don’t rely on porn to learn how to have sex.

here’s a list of anal sex tips/guides: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.

here’s a list of tips/guides/facts on bdsm: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13.

girl on girl sex tips/guides: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

man on man sex tips/guides: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

tips for first-time sex/losing your virginity: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.

GENDER & SEXUALITY:

LGBTW+ terms & definitions

genderqueer and non-binary identities

list of sexualities and their definition

gender and sexuality terminology 

SKIN IMPROVEMENT:

(in some of the following tips i talk about using coconut oil. this is a reminder to use coconut oil in moderation, if you put too much of it on your skin it will clog your pores which causes acne.)

squeeze the juice out of a lemon & mix it with baking soda until you have a creamy thick paste. apply it to your skin and leave it on for 15 - 20 minutes. rinse with cold water. afterwards your pores will be clean and your skin will be soft af.

dry brushing! get yourself a brush with fine bristles that aren’t too hard but not soft either & swirl it over your skin in circles. you can do this on just your legs (90 seconds per leg is recommended) or your entire body. make sure to finish your ‘self massage’ with body oil.

want to get rid of dry skin during the winter? all you need is some body oil & a shower! pour a generous amount of body oil into the palms of your hands and rub them together before spreading it all over your body (avoid your face! if you want to do this to your face, use a face oil, not a body oil). when you’re done rubbing the oil into your skin, get into the shower and carry out your usual showering routine. make sure to moisturize again within a 2 - 5 minute span of leaving the shower to add moisture back in before your skin seals up and dries out again. either use your favorite body lotion or the same oil you used before the shower. 

exfoliate before shaving! it makes the skin soft so you don’t get razor burns & bumps.

exfoliate and moisturize your skin every night. using coconut oil as a moisturizer is recommended. make sure to put some extra coconut oil in the areas where ur skin is really dry.

never take hot showers. they might be relaxing but it leaves your skin extremely dry and flaky. take warm showers instead.

take a spoonful of organic honey and rub it onto your face. let it sit for about ten minutes before rinsing. your skin will be super smooth.

make your own body/lip scrub by mixing brown sugar and coconut oil! scrub that shit on ur body (like ur legs) and lips and it wont only feel amazing, it will also take off all the dead skin and bacteria.

drink!!! ur!!! damn!!! water!!! that shit is good for ur skin, immune system, disgestive system, metabolism.. shit, cut up some fruit and throw it in there if u are feeling fancy, just make sure u drink enough of it every day.

if you got a pimple and wanna get rid of it fastly, put some toothpaste on it and keep it on there for a while (i usually put it on before going to bed so it stays on my skin all night). it’ll make your skin dry tho so make sure to moisturize after u take it off. 

shave your legs w/ baby oil, it will make your legs smoother and moisturize them at the same damn time. score!

[meloetta]

chen’s broke b*tch beauty tips:

don’t waste money on lip scrubs, scrubbing your lips with a wet toothbrush works just as well if not better

not for everyone but vaseline will keep your eyebrows in place all day and helps mascara stay on longer if applied underneath

coconut oil is probably cheaper and much more effective than that hair treatment you wanted to buy

some honey applied overnight will clear that zit right up

ebay has 24ish makeup brush packs for extremely cheap

argan oil will make damaged hair silky, there’s cheap shampoos and conditioners out there that incorporate it

crushed up vitamin C tablets mixed in with conditioner will remove hair dye (very drying though), if you mess up and can’t afford remover

[cyborgsmanifesto]

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

[4velitta4]

I feel like this could be useful in my future

[okayilubuhbye-deactivated201611]

Bless you, MusicalHoe.

[greyscalesound]

If nothing else, this gives me a list of shit to buy my girl lol

[atasteoflee]

Okay but this is helpful

[foreveraskinnygirl]

Need a Workout? 🎀

[witchybitchypeachy]

Glow Up tips

a summer of 2k16 is a great opportunity to glow up on the asses of those who have slept on you. Hope everyone has an amazing come back and that you all get that “ they got hot this summer”

1. drink plenty of water: i knoe that this is any every “tips post” but it’ll help you maintain a beautiful complexion, fresh breath, help with weight loss, and so so so much more 

2. coconut oil: this is the shit! use it for your hair, your face, your legs ….everything. 

3.exercise: do your squats, eat healthy food. best form of revenge is a super hot body.

4. post so many selfies on social media …. make sure the photos are super dpe and look very luxurious and mysterious and fancy and work on getting more followers. i suggest you look through Russian Instagram to find poses and study selfie angles.

5. have a stunning wardrobe: you don’t need lots of money to dress like you’re rich. it’s all about how you combine your clothes together. chose neat, fshionable clothes. look up the style of olivia person an the kardashians.

6.read and watch lots of movies: get educated and informed over the summer. feed your soul with sophistication. read philosophical books or whatever kind you like . watch old movies. 

7. step OUT of your comfort zone: don’t go to bed unless you’ve done something each day that you have never done before. it’ll be a graet boost for your self confidence. i promise!

8.go out, have fun, takes lots of pictures and post them. it doesn’t have to cost much, a simple trip to the beach will do .. just flash that hot hot summer body.

9. be humble, but still, let those bitches know. 

10. meet new people and post selfies with them.

11. get a haircut or change your haircut or whatever as long as you change something, have a makeover.

12. do weekly DIY spa days: you can make your own pedi, amni, body scrub, facial masks with ingredients from your kitchen. 

13.take good good care of yourself and make sure you’re stress free and happy.

14.stay away from people who make you feel like shit.

15. avoid seeing your fake friends and stick to the passive agressive braging snapchat/IG routine.

16.gloooooow from the inside out.

may you have a very luxurious summmer .

[isseymiyucky-deactivated2021070]

I take pride in my head game.

[mydamnblogposts]

I need to step mine up. It too much damn work. My mouth gets tired. :/

[isseymiyucky-deactivated2021070]

manipulate all parts of his area.

there are ways to cheat to make him nut quicker.

some guys like a mess, make one.

spit …play with it….sometimes you don’t need to deep throat the whole shaft back to back …suction the head with your lips and get your tongue tip in that hole while stroking the shaft with your hand…use the other hand to massage his balls with the spit

your lips get tired of that, take a small ice cube, suck on it, lean back and take both his balls in your mouth and just continue to stroke his shaft while his balls are in your mouth….

when you come back up trail your tongue on the line that separates the sack until you hit the head again…suction the head again…deep throat real quick and come back up and suction. Do that two more times… keep your index finger under the sack and massage the middle all the while.

Now violently stroke while looking him in the eye… all while letting spit drip down from your mouth to his head….

He’ll nut right there. It won’t take long… I know it gets tiring but you need to know the maneuvers.

[acethot]

random hoe/maintence/etc. tips

***i didn’t re-read this so i apologize in advance for my spelling/grammar errors**

HAIR

if you got rly curly hair and wanna straighten it i recommend la plancha for a heat protector and this shit works miracles if you got spanish/black hair 

if you dont got time to straighten ur hair and ur hair is a fucking mess then take a shower and use a curling product to make it look hella cute (i use bumble and bumble curling creams they smell delicious, people always tell me how good i smell when i style my hair with it, its mad $$ but def worth it, msg me if you got any cheaper recommendations tho and smell good) 

if you got a bunch of baby hairs like me use this product it does fucking miracles, espec if u comb them bck with a toothbrush 

this is a rly good hair mask tutorial if u want ur hair to grow

FACE

if you dont wanna wear makeup but wanna look cute af then put vaseline on ur brows, lashes, and eyelids, ull look so fucking cute!! it makes ur brows stay in place, lashes look longer (pretty sure makes them grow too), and makes ur eyelids shine so yo eyes look like they sparkling and shit

whenever ur home put castor oil on ur lashes and brows, this i know for a fact makes ur lashes longer (heres a vid bout growing long lashes) and ur brows darker and thicker, don’t go in public like this tho cuz it looks kinda nasty

if u wanna remove hair from ur face, mix 2 tablespoons of milk with a table spoon of unflavored gelatine, mix it until its kinda pasty and shit, then put it in the microwave for like 10-15 seconds, after u get that out it should look kinda like thick cum tbh. Okay so ur done with this step now u gotta apply that baby on ur face with either a paint brush or idk whatever is easier for u bby, u gotta do it right away tho cuz it dries so fucking quick. Keep layering and layering and ow you let it dry for like 15-25 minutes, then just pull it off. Now you done and wash ur face Here’s a more detailed video

i’ve personally nvr had bad skin bc i drink a shit load of water and i also drink these teas that help a lot, #1  & #2

CLOTHING

i’ve bought so much shit from this seller and i 100% recommend it, so fucking cheap and if ur ever in doubt on aliexpress ALWAYS message them to send u an actual picture of the product and check the reviews and i always size up!!! 

WAISTRAINERS FOR $15!!!!!! I ORDERED A SIZE MEDIUM (IM USUALLY SMALL)AND ITS A LITTLE TIGHT BUT I LIKE IT , I own THIS one it was $18 and has done miracles!!! i wear it at night and when i work out :) 

fashionnova high waisted jeans are so perfect, the brand is vibrant and they’re a little on the pricey side but i 100% recommend them, they make ur ass look so fucking good

Fake Louis Vouitton bag  

this is also one of my favorite aliexpress stores, it’s a little pricey for aliexpress but the shit is legit. 

this instagram is dedicated to aliexpress shit and posts all the actual products that she bought

[luxurytips]

xoxo maria

[gamerspirit]

How to finish that last minute assignment

[leetakeuchi-blog]

[disgruntledota-deactivated20121]

I can not count the number of times this trick has saved my ass.

[sinonspeaks-deactivated20160730]

And people say Tumblr doesn’t teach you life skills…

[marxistmemes-deactivated2024031]

this will come in handy one day

[cjshark]

ATTENTION GRADUATING CLASS OF 2012: COLLEGE SURVIVAL 101

[clamchowdurr-deactivated2022040]

When you went through college the normal way (stressed and anxious from continuous assignments) but this appears after you done with school

[sextharry]

tell me how to give a great blowjob

alright i’ll give you the play by play. first straddle him and make out for a bit, take off his shirt, and grind your hips against him so he gets hard. lightly pull his hair at the nape of his neck and tug at his bottom lip with your teeth because it feels good and it’s damn sexy. and then kiss from his lips down to his neck, and kiss and suck a little bit, and you can bite him just not too hard. and then continue to kiss him down his chest and his stomach but stop right before you get to the top of his pants and then take them off but leave his boxers on. kiss his lower stomach across the top of his boxers while dragging your fingers up and down the inside of his thighs. then pull off his boxers and kiss up his inner thighs until you get to his balls. lick the line that separates his balls and continue to lick all the way up the underside of his dick until you get to the head, then slowly swirl your tongue in a figure 8 around it and then take it in your mouth and suck lightly. then lick up and down the sides again and swirl your tongue around his head like before and then in one fluid motion take half of his dick into your mouth and slowly come up while lightly sucking to create just a little bit of pressure. you want every inch of him to be stimulated at all times so give him a hand job whenever your mouth isn’t in direct contact with a part of his penis (make sure he’s lubed up with your spit though because the friction from just skin on skin can be painful). lick up and down his shaft, take some of his length in your mouth, swirl your tongue carelessly around his dick, basically just play around for a minute because the anticipation will build up and he won’t be able to control himself when you really get the party started. try not to stick to a pattern though so he won’t know where your mouth is going next, thus intensifying your every movement. also make sure to pay attention to his balls; suck them into your mouth, lick the line that separates the two, and massage them lightly with your hand. eventually make your way back up to his head and act like you’re just going to tease him with some more tongue swirling but instead take his entire length into your mouth, then slowly bob back up (cover your teeth with your lips so you don’t scratch him). once you get to his head push him back into your mouth and as far down your throat you can. (if you have a weak gag reflex, stick your tongue out while deep throating and it’ll help you take a little more). try to find a steady rhythm while bobbing up and down, start off slow and then progressively get faster. every 5 or so bobs, swirl figure 8s over his head just for a second so you can catch your breath and his orgasm can build up, then continue your previous rhythm bobbing up and down. after a while his head will roll back and his breathing will get shallow which means he’s close to his release, so start bobbing your head faster and don’t let his head leave your mouth. also try to push him as far down your throat as he’ll go while using one hand to follow your mouth up and down his shaft and the other to lightly play with his balls. within a minute you’ll feel his penis twitch which means he’s literally about to ejaculate in like .2 seconds. to make swallowing his cum easier, try to keep him as far back in your mouth as you can so it will just shoot down your throat. but if he cums before you’re expecting him to, you better lick up every bit of it, swallow it, and then lick your lips like it was the best thing you’ve ever tasted. do. not. spit. the unpleasant taste goes away in like 2 seconds and trust me the look on his face after you swallow is so worth it, plus you get major bonus points.

ok i know it sounds like a 30 minute endeavor but i swear i’ve never had a guy last longer than 10 minutes. 

[mikaelarevard-deactivated201611]

Mikaela Talks Hoe Tips

-  OGX is the greatest shampoo/conditioner ever created. Like, Jesus probably made these with His own hands. Hands down. Buy it.

-  Coconut oil for everything. Shaving. Moisturizer. Hair. Makeup remover.

- If a man is telling you that he’s ‘too big’ to wear a condom, RUN. Because that’s an urban myth and he’s probably a prick.

-  Never show your face in nudes! Same goes for distinguishing marks like birth marks, moles, or any sort of blemish that might be recognizable. I say this because fuckboys like to use your nudes against you!!

- SCREENSHOT BASICALLY EVERYTHING.

-  Pure Romance has a product for shaving your lady parts and it’s amazing. Also, their Refreshing Body Spray, tho. https://goo.gl/nZba5P

-  You don’t have to be thin to be hot, but if you dig working out, Pintrest has an amazing selection of workout agendas. (I like yoga and cardio, but strength training is amazing so I’ve heard.)

-  Kohls has a really great selection of workout clothes, by the way. Their NIKE products are sparklin’. Their yoga stuff is great, too.

-  Ya’ll, invest in some self-defense weapons. Pepper spray, cat ears, knives, tasers…I love the cat ears. My sister got me one for Christmas and I carry it around with me all the time. http://goo.gl/CNwLSc

- I know everyone says it a lot but please drink a lot of water. I still have trouble with this but it helps with headaches and fatigue. Hydration is so important, guys. HOWEVER, I read an article where they debunked the whole ‘it makes your skin clearer’ theory so don’t count on that.

- If you have a big chest, Victoria’s Secret sucks in selection. (But I’m sure you already knew that.) Torrid has some really nice stuff but don’t count on their lingerie. I know it’s pretty cheesy but if you’re strict on a budget, I would go to Kohls. Their Candies collection is nice and they actually have a few cute bras in sizes over 32 DD.

- LINGERIE IS DIFFICULT FOR BIGGER GIRLS. I found that La Perla has sizes over 32 DD which is FANTASTIC because they’re quality (this stuff is hella expensive though, reaching at least 200 for only a bra). I have no idea if Dita Von Teese has stuff over 32 DD, but Dita is queen and her stuff is always nice.

- My best friend is a stylist and a makeup artist and she told me once: “Get a high-end foundation and everything will fall together.” (She uses Kat Von D’s Tattoo Foundation.) Drugstore makeup is nothing to be ashamed of; you just have to find the right stuff. E.L.F is probably the cheapest stuff in the world and their products have NEVER let me down. NYX is pretty good as well so I’ve heard. A little birdie also told me that MILAN is really nice, too.

- Rosewater.

- There’s an old trick that I learned from Don Cherry (a hockey coach/GM/player) and that is: cocoa butter. Whenever he had stitches, he’d ask his girlfriend to take them out a few days before they healed and then he put cocoa butter on the wound so it wouldn’t scar over. That’s how hockey players don’t get scars. So do that if you ever get a wound on your face or a cut. I’m sure it helps with acne too, though I haven’t tried it myself. Maybe it helps with stretch marks as well? Someone debunk this for me.

- Cut back on the sweets. But gradually. My momma is a guru with health (I was raised in a hippie household as far as food went) and she always told me to cut in half of what I’m trying to steer away from. For instance, DAIRY is one of the worst offenders and cutting out cheese was like cutting out air for me. But I started eating half of what I usually ate and it’s helped a lot. But don’t put yourself down if you go through periods where you mess up on your diet; you’ll get back on the wagon eventually.

- Besides DAIRY I’d also suggest cutting back on GLUTEN. Now, none of this is because of ‘loosing weight’ because you’re beautiful either way. GLUTEN is just really not good for us. And the less you eat it, the less you’ll care for it. There’s a lot of good food out there that doesn’t have gluten.

- To be clear on the dairy thing: dairy actually makes our lady parts smell worse. So don’t eat any dairy products if you’re about to fuck with it (this means the day of or even the day before if it’s planned).

- Sleep is hella important. Get some of it. I’d say around ten hours a night or maybe eight. Over-sleeping is bad as well because you can get too much sleep and sleep begets sleep (get it?). So you’ll get grumpy if you get too much or not enough.

That’s all I have for now. I’ll think of some more later :-)

[a-bigjetplane]

life tips ??

1. coat your feet in coconut oil or cocoa butter and put your socks on while you sleep. Your feet will be sooooo smooth the next morning

2. shave your legs w a men’s razor because they have more blades so you will get a closer shave

3. after shaving lather up in coconut oil (this shit is even safe for yo vagina) 10/10 would recommend

4. whitening strips and treatments are hella expensive, diy version of this is brushing w baking soda and lemon juice (it doesn’t taste that bad)

5. peppermint tea helps sooo much with bloating (and tastes bomb with some honey)

6. adding ½ cup of apple cider vinegar to your bath helps to balance your bodies ph and is really good for vaginal health

7. coffee grounds + coconut oil makes a great exfoliater

8. put vaseline and/or coconut oil on your eyebrows before you go to bed makes them so easy to style if you’re about that bomb eyebrow lifestyle

9. drinking water is the #1 best thing for you; it clears skin, boosts metabolism, and is overall really healthy for your body (esp in the summer)

10. coconut oil is really good for your hair but it can make yo roots greasy, a little bit on the ends goes a long way

11. cranberry juice, yogurt, and water works wayy better than pineapple, but fruit in general will improve yo smell/taste down there

12. if you have a car, keep a change of clothes, chapstick, gum, condoms, makeup wipes, wispies (portable toothbrushes !!!), and some spare change

13. after shaving yo vagina ( if you choose to do so) use coconut oil to avoid irritation/itchiness

14. moisturize yo booty and boobs extra bc the only thing better boobs + booty is super smooth boobs + booty

15. tea tree oil can be super helpful for pimples plus it smells super good

16. if your inner thighs chafe in the summer, put deodorant there it helps so much

17. pee after sex/masturbation ( super important to avoid UTIs)

18. getting yo eyebrows threaded is so worth it

19. treat yo self