Here Comes the Sun
Summary: Patton has seasonal depression and can’t sleep, and Logan tries to help with cuddles and sweet words. It kinda works.
Pairings: Logicality
Words: 1113
Warnings: Patton is depressed, self depreciation, talk of not taking meds
Read on Ao3
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Patton sighed and rolled over to look at his alarm clock. The numbers 5:45 flashed back at him with a harsh red light. Thinking there was no use in continuing trying to fall asleep, he stumbled out of bed and fished for his phone and earbuds, trying not to wake his boyfriend.
Padding his way out of his and Logan’s room, he walked toward the living room at the heart of the apartment he shared with his boyfriend and two best friends. He grabbed a blanket to rest around his shoulders as he pressed on the playlist labeled with a frowny face. He sat on a loveseat near the window and turned on the lamp beside him, hoping to find some peace in the city that stared back at him, unfeeling.
“Patton?” a gravelly voice called from behind him. “What are you doing up?”
Closing his eyes and sighing softly, he forced a smile and turned from the cold window to face Logan. “I could ask the same of you!”
“You know that I am a light sleeper, I felt you leave. What is the cause of your insomnia?”
Patton waved his hand, “I’m fine Lo, I just-”
“Sunshine, please.” Patton met his eyes, and he just couldn’t lie anymore. He let his face drop and patted the spot next to him. “Do you… require affection?” Logan said with such genuine confusion, Patton couldn’t help the giggle that bubbled from his chest.
Patton smiled up softly at his clueless boyfriend and responded, “Yes please.” Logan walked over to sit beside him and opened up his arms for Patton to snuggle into.
The pair laid there for a while, Patton listening to the other’s heartbeat in one ear and music in the other, and Logan gently running his hand through Patton’s wavy hair. Every so often, Logan would press a kiss to Patton’s forehead and he would respond by tapping his fingers against Logan’s side. After a long time had passed, Logan spoke up.
“Would you like to talk about it, Dear?”
Patton turned his face into Logan’s chest and sighed deeply before nodding. “I’m just so ready for winter to be over,” Patton said.
A divet formed in the space between Logan’s eyebrows. “It is the beginning of April, winter has been over for many days”
“I know. But then why do I still feel this way? I’m just… heavy. I feel sad and tired and weighed down by some invisible force.” said Patton in a voice so sad it twisted something in the pit of Logan’s stomach.
Logan looked out the window, to the dark city before them. “You have seasonal depression, Patton. It is only rational for you to feel this way.”
Patton shook his head and pulled back. “That’s just it! You said yourself, winter is already over! Its spring, and yet I still feel horrible. Why am I so screwed up when I’m supposed to start feeling better?”
Logan reached over and gently took Patton’s hand. “Well, winter is only over according to our calendar. But to your body, it may take some time before it begins to feel the effects of summer.” This only seemed to dishearten him more. Logan rushed to add some more reassurance. “That is to say, your feelings are understandable, and certainly do not mean you are ‘screwed up’.”
Patton only gave a weak smile and shrug in response.
“Have you been taking your antidepressants?” asked Logan. At this, Patton’s eyes widened somewhat before he looked away. A tense pause floated in the air, and he heard the song change in his earbud. “Darling, I won’t get mad or upset, but imperative that you continue taking your medication until cleared by Dr. Picani.”
Still not meeting his eyes, Patton shook his head. “I ran out a few days ago and felt bad getting more when I shouldn’t need them anymore.”
Hearing Logan sigh and let go of his hand, Patton curled in on himself slightly, ready for him to give up and leave Patton to cry alone. Instead, Logan leaned over the side of the chair and put up the footrest, then pulled Patton onto his chest.
“You never have to feel bad about needing assistance. There is no shortage of antidepressant medication, and you should take it for as long as you need. Furthermore, in the future, I would like you to talk to me before you spiral. I love you, and I wish to help you in any way possible. And Patton,” Logan gently placed his hand on Patton’s face and gently lifted it to meet his eyes. “I love you too much to lose you. You are not messed up. You are not overreacting. And you are worth all that you receive and so much more. Please take care of yourself, for me.”
Tears welled up in Patton’s eyes, which greatly alarmed his boyfriend. “Did I... say something wrong?” This elicited a laugh from a very emotional Patton.
“No Sweetie, you just said everything right. I’m just very overwhelmed, but I love you too. So much.”
Logan sighed in relief. “Would you like to talk about it now?”
Patton smiled back up at him. “Can we just… cuddle? I’m very emotionally drained and very tired.”
“Of course, my dear.” Patton offered his left earbud to Logan, who took it and placed it in his ear.
As Patton rested on Logan’s chest, he finally looked back outside to see the first rays of dawn peek out over the horizon. At the same time, “Here Comes the Sun” by the Beatles began playing from Patton’s phone. He smiled and closed his eyes, feeling comfortable, safe, and warm for the first time in a while.
…
Roman entered the living room at 8, still trying to rub the sleep from his eyes. It was a Saturday so he didn’t have work, but he had a lot of errands to run and he’d rather get them done sooner rather than later.
Just as he reached the door to the kitchen, he glanced to the side to find two of his friends tangled on their small couch. A fond smile grew on his face as Patton snored softly. He walked over and briefly considered waking them before taking the blanket off the floor next to them and covering the pair.
Before turning away, he took a picture (they were cute okay? Plus it would come in handy next time Logan got mad at him) and turned off the lamp.
Walking back to the kitchen, he texted the photo to Vigil, captioning it “Why don’t they just get married already?” and continued the beginning of his day.
~~~~~
Ya know I wrote a whole au for this oneshot in a google docs, so if this doesn’t flop I may write more in this universe.
