A Safe Space For NB Folk

Just some genderfluid, non binary, trans, and all gender identity things. Ask me ideas for names, name validations, or otherwise gender related things. Just no trolling, 'kay? ~Sage

[just-gender-things]

Sorry fuys

I haven't been on Tumblr in a while. I've been having really depression-y days recently. Hope you've had a nice week!

[nonbinary-support]

uhh hi!! i am just now discovering that i might!! be nonbinary / femme nonbinary because my dysphoria kicked in today for the first time. im trying pronouns and a NB name but my dad says that because a) im still in middle school and this 'isnt the time to question because i dont know everything' and b) he will punish me if i try to be feminine and/or wear makeup. any help??

okay as far as the middle school thing, here’s what i can tell you:

gender, sexuality, etc, can be fluid. how you feel right now might not be how you feel in the future, especially if you’re middle school age, because everything is shifting right now and you will change so, so much. i’ve known i was nb for 6 years, but the particular “kind” of nb i am has changed a couple times over the years.

however

chances are, if you’re questioning your gender, youre not cis. cis people dont usually feel the need to question their gender. 

as far as the other stuff goes, maybe try to experiment in places/during times your dad won’t see? if you have a lot of privacy in your room, try it there! if you dont think people at school would tell your parents and you feel safe there, maybe go to school wearing makeup or more traditionally feminine clothing. if you have friends who you feel safe with, ask them to try the new name and pronouns when your dad (and other unsafe people if there are any) isn’t around. if you don’t think your friends’ parents would tell, maybe go to a friends house and try stuff there.

additionally: a good excuse, in my experience if your dad ever finds you wearing traditionally feminine stuff or makeup, is to say you lost a bet or something.

i hope i helped!! feel free to ask more questions if you have them!

-noodle

[the-mega-trans-sjw-deactivated2]

people be like “go back to middle school their are two genders/sexes!!!” like they also taught us that u can see the great wall of china from space, that bulls get angry when they see the color red, that ur blood is blue until it hits oxygen, that slave masters were a “little mean” to slaves, when none of those things are even remotely true, we learn almost nothing about disability and other human rights fights etc ….I mean, we learn that having xx chromosomes = vagina and that xy chromosomes=penis when that’s not true either

maybe the public education system (especially not seventh grade jesus Christ) is the type of intelligent thought we should be basing our arguments around lmao

[notlgbt-blog]

the idea of pronouns having genders is just as binarist as the idea of clothes or hairstyles or anything else having genders

[voidyrants]

Ppl like to scream and yell about “breaking the gender binary” and how “gender is a social construct” but as soon as ppl identify as something that can’t be shoved into the “basically male” or “basically female” box suddenly they’re wrong or transphobic or trying to b a special snowflake. The biggest example I see of this is either “sga” or “uwu special kweer mogai labels”

[waluigitheanti]

PSA that Arielle Scarcella is a piece of shit.

We need to collectively stop supporting LGBTQ+ YouTubers that speak out about how they do not consider some LGBTQ+ people valid (in this case, bi people and nb people and trans people that do not experience dysphoria, at least, possibly more since I haven’t seen everything she’s ever done).

Let’s stop supporting people that contribute to trying to break up our community on the basis of them not considering certain identities valid.

I mean she literally made a video about how bi people are gross because they are attracted to multiple genders (and other grossly biphobic shit) and more recently made an entire video that is just nbphobia incarnate.

Also, Jaclyn Glenn, who she made the second video with, literally made fake coming out video (which is super shitty) and is extremely Islamophobic and anti-feminist and just all around everything that’s wrong with the atheist YouTube community.

[notlgbt-blog]

gross words that you should not apply to nonbinary people without their explicit consent:

male-aligned/female-aligned

male-coded/female-coded

same gender attracted/similar gender attracted

masculine/feminine (I know you might think it’s harmless, but it can be really hurtful)

trans-feminine/trans-masculine (ESPECIALLY don’t assume that all DFAB people are trans-masculine or vice versa, EVER.)

feel free to add more

[proudnb]

Please don’t think that you deserve to be misgendered because your pronouns are “too hard.”

Please don’t think that you deserve to be dead-named because your real name is “too different.”

Please don’t think that you deserve to have your gender invalidated because it’s “too new.”

Please don’t think that you deserve to suffer exorsexism because others can’t find it in themselves to learn or respect you.

You can be understood, and you have every right to live the way you wish.

You deserve to have a place in this world.

[lesbianpeachs]

Honestly I hate being nonbinary/genderqueer.

We live in a 100% binary world, where if your dysphoria is bad enough, doing almost ANYTHING will make you feel like shit and like you’re misgendering yourself.

Need to buy clothes? Choose from two binary sections. Need to go to the bathroom? Better pick which one you pass as. Filling out a form? Gotta choose a binary gender. Want to find a community for something online? Better hope its not specifically separated into “boy” and “girl” communities. Want to call yourself an aesthetic™ term like prince or princess? Haha fuck nope, not for you, peasant.

You sit in a hall for a talk and they address the crowd “ladies and gentlemen!” You want to talk about attraction and people will ask you “do you like boys or girls?” You wanna get involved in gender activism, its men vs women. You meet someone new, and they ask for your pronouns, you have to pray they don’t argue over the validity of yours. Wanna get something as simple as a magazine subscription? They make you put “mr, mrs, or ms.”

You want therapy to help you deal with it all? You better goddamn hope your therapist not only supports being trans, but recognizes your gender as valid rather than a “phase” or god forbid, a symptom of something else. You want hormones or surgery to help your dysphoria? Lmao might not happen unless you pretend you’re binary trans gender. Want a solid support group and community? Wish really hard that your local trans community won’t chase you out for being “fake or confused,” or “making the community look bad,” or being “actually cis trying to sneak into the community.”

We live in a world where, to most of society, we don’t exist; and to the rest of it, we might as well be only an afterthought.

And I hate it. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to just check off “male,” or “female” on a box and have it be true. How many times I wanted to be able to check one off for a sign up like a fucking Pandora account without feeling like I was lying, misgendering, and betraying myself.

And then in trot these little fuckers in the discourse who have the fucking GALL to tell me I don’t face anything particularly for being nonbinary. That nothing I face is possibly different than what binary trans people face. That I don’t have a right to label the easiness of being binary in a binary world, because “that doesn’t exist.” They demand how dare I make up a word to differentiate between what I face for being trans, and what I face for being nonbinary specifically. I can hear “special snowflake” and “transtrender” accusations underneath all their thinly veiled mockeries over the very idea that I might have a different experience deserving recognition.

And I hate myself a little bit more.

[notlgbt-blog]

It’s so disgusting how NBphobes will say shit like “it’s NBphobic to be attracted to nonbinary people since you don’t know what a nonbinary person looks like!!!” and then they’ll turn around and say shit like “nonbinary people can be lesbians but only if they look like women and are only attracted to people who look like women” I really hate it lol y'all aren’t slick at all

[lgbtqi-support-equality]

Intersex People Are Amazing

Intersex People Are Valid

Intersex People Matter

[nonbinary-support]

Hey me too literally I was walking into the bathroom and someone stopped me and said 'this is the women's bathroom' and I just looked at her and grinned like whatcha gonna do and she got so embarrassed lol ❤️

[nonbinary-support]

An IT guy was working on my class's computers and when he needed to borrow people's he would just kind of go ask people "sir/miss can i check smth" and he gets to me and just goes "I need this for a second...buddy" and i feel like i leveled up

[nonbinary-support]

I've just come to terms with being nb which has been super hard cause I was raised strict catholic. Also means I can't come out but I've stopped dressing as feminine cause I'm just not comfortable dressed that way and my dad has noticed and started saying a lot of things to be about needing to dress more appropriately. I'm his little girl and I need to behave like a lady. It really sucks just looking for a bit of support I guess... :/

I can relate, except I was raised southern baptist. it really sucks, but it does get easier. I’ve had several initially extremely vocally against my transition come around and support me. I’m sorry your dad is saying those things. it might be easier if you tried switching your presentation a bit more gradually, so the changes are less noticeable.

it’s not fair and not right that that’s happening to you and I’m sorry you have to deal with it.

- jay

[just-gender-things]

Petition to change the word "homophobic" to "loveist" because 1. It includes all sexualities that are hated because of who they love 2. It doesn't say that people that dislike gay people are AFRAID of them 3. It sounds really poetic "alas, her parents were loveist"

[gender-suggestion]

Your gender is a breeze on a moonlit night, just as invisible as any other time but all the more mysterious for it

[retrogaydad-deactivated20190324]

hey. not wanting to date a trans person because they’re trans is actually 100% transphobic. it’s not up for debate. nobody’s saying you have to date every trans person you meet, but let’s say you’re attracted to women, and you meet a cute girl and you hit it off, and you decide not to date her when you find out she’s trans: that’s transphobic! that’s not a preference!!!! you liked her before you found out she was trans!!! the real problem here is you’re not viewing trans women as women (or trans men as men). you’re viewing them as a different gender than their cisgender peers. that’s not okay. trans woman = 100% woman. trans man = 100% man. unlearn your transphobia. trans people are really cool ppl with a neat perspective on life and if you don’t wanna date us because you can’t get over your nasty preconceptions then it’s your loss tbh