If Sherlock's got a Mind Palace, I've got This

your average walking contradiction. watch me get bored.

[just-maryan]

it’s okay if your sadness does not turn into a masterpiece. it’s okay.

[just-maryan]

my old friend

hello darkness

be kind to me. you’re almost all around me.

almost.

[just-maryan]

Nothing

Neruda is playing and there are no tears.

I want to feel again, but emotions kill us. Slowly, but painfully.

[just-maryan]

Abstract Garble

Words do not string themselves into articulate thoughts, like bits and pieces that do not fathom themselves into coherent whole.

The feelings are many but words are few. There are not enough words in all kinds of dictionaries in the world to describe the contents of my brain in hyperdrive.

I thought writing about it will help, but the pen will not write and the screen remains blank.

What’s wrong? What’s wrong?

We repeat ourselves for clarity. 

Only to realize we never made sense.

[just-maryan]

ignorance is bliss :(

[just-maryan]

I need a hug :( :( :(

[just-maryan]

So I sent my very first postcard today.

[just-maryan]

Today i did not witness 44 sunsets

But Fall Out Boy is on loop

And I was window shopping at Toys R Us

and I cut my hair

I MISS YOU

[just-maryan]

I go to bed every night wishing it was me instead. I wake up every day hating my still breathing self.

[just-maryan]

Today is all about accepting that when doors open, you don't necessarily have to walk in :)

[just-maryan]

Epiphany

I know there was no beginning of an us I never planned to have one anyway

I just know that for a long time I adored you so so much It’s everything about you

And I’d even dare say that we are soulmates And how dare you not realize that to be true

I thought I loved words before you But when you came the second time I realized you wielded them with so much beauty and perfection, they started to look and sound and mean different.

Like you’re reintroducing me to the dictionary for the first time.

And it’s not just that! Everything you do is art!

I know for a long time now that I love you

But I also know that this is the kind of love that sets the other free

Because to love is also to appreciate from a distance.

I’ll probably keep on loving you

And I’ll also know I’ll never have you.

I love you anyway.

[just-maryan]

I haven't watched a single Christina Grimmie video ever since her passing.

[just-maryan]

I have serious issues with being left behind. Wow, what a great observation.

[just-maryan]

It's a great time to feel shitty. Says myself to me Hah. Here goes my nonsense tirade. Again.

[just-maryan]

[just-maryan]

Hi Mars! Suddenly had the impulsive thought of reading Series of Unfortunate Events because you've always bugged me to read the entire series and I would always reason out that I'm too busy. I did read and i came across this note of yours saying "I love them so much I will give them to you if I will die early" Did you know? When did you write this? I havent told anyone yet about what I found. Should I? I miss you.

[just-maryan]

From now on, i promise not to complain anymore. I promise to be twice as hardworking. I hope to remember as well to never ever compromise the values and principles i live by and to not forget important priorities like family and friendship as I try to be a better version of myself.