LOSING MY MIND OVER UNKNOWN EPISODE 8
Another week, another incredible episode of Unknown, another shout into the ether that they do not fuck this up for me in the final four episodes. Chris and Kurt are so good together as scene partners, but I am definitely dubbing Episode 8, The Chris Episode because holy hell was Chris juggling so many different emotions from Qian throughout the entire episode in all its tense and awkward glory.Â
I think I want to talk about eyes. Because I just recently rewatched Episode 6, and was losing it all over again at Qianâs complete refusal to make eye contact with Yuan from the moment Yuan says heâs suffering until he returns from the United States. Especially because in Episode 8, he barely makes eye contact with Yuan but for very different reasons.Â
gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul
Qian wakes up the morning after Yuanâs return to find Yuan sleeping at his side. Now, knowing that Yuan is really only pretending to be asleep, and that he will continue to terrorize Qian throughout the episode, Yuan has positioned himself in such a way that the very first thing Qian has the ability to see when he wakes up is Yuanâs face. In the initial moment of wakefulness, Qian uses this private, quiet moment to study Yuanâs face, after years.Â
And similarly to the end of Episode 7, we look through Qianâs eyes via close up of Yuanâs face on screen only to hear Yuan say âseen enough?â Which is where we get a very good microexpression from Chris because Qianâs eyes go slightly wider, surprised that Yuan is a) actually awake and b) able to tell that he is Looking. But Qian does not look away.Â
Yuan opens his eyes, and Qian shifts, lifting his head up slightly as if heâs dialed inâŠbut he is only able to maintain eye contact with Yuan for (literally) 2 seconds, before snapping himself out of it and sitting upright to take himself out of physical line (or plane) with Yuan. But he immediately looks back down at Yuan looking very dazed and at least slightly confused, and from my perspective a lot of that is informed by the fact that Qian is having to adjust to Yuan being back home. But the longest Qian can bear to look at Yuan is approximately 5 seconds.Â
Qian, man of few words, tries to cut the thick silence with a caregiving question âare you hungry?â cut to the mirror where we see a reflection of only Qian, a jarring site because typically when Qian and Yuan are in the same room, they are framed together. âIâll take you to the hotpot place,â and Yuan says nothing, so Qian tries to cut the tension again by saying heâll message San Pang and Xiong.Â
âNo need for the trouble. We can eat at home.â Yuan replies, and it gives Qian pause. Years have passed since he last saw Yuan, Yuan is established in his adulthood, successful, independent, confident, and sure. Qian has not been coping well, and the easy relationship, the familiar dynamic that he once had with Yuan is gone, he has no idea how to exist around Yuan right now. Qian turns his head slowly, to look at Yuan once more, but Yuan is up and out the door, leaving Qian to just stare at the space he left behind for a moment.Â
We get the second isolated framing of Qian in the mirror as his eyes move from the space by his bed where Yuan sat towards the door that Yuan just walked through.Â
So what I love about this episode is that Yuan knows his feelings, and I think he has a pretty good understanding of where Qianâs feelings rest now that Qian has called him home. Yuan has a goal, Yuan knows what he wants, the distance has very much helped to calm the storm of feelings that Yuan was having a hard time keeping a handle on when he was younger. Qian on the other hand, has a few more crises to work through before he can feel grounded in his changing feelings for Yuan. Which is what I think we are watching him parse through right before the intro when his eyes follow Yuan out the door and then close accompanied by a deep intake of breath. A moment to process what just happened.Â
This episode is very aptly titled The Distance Between Us and Love because Yuan is doing nothing but playing with distance. He is being petty, he is pushing buttons, he is- I would claim -essentially edging Qian by getting just close enough to inspire physiological responses in Qian without completely closing the distance.Â
And that distance also includes a demonstration to Qian about how Yuan is capable of maintaining an emotional distance from him now that Yuanâs priorities have changed and he is no longer blindly, overwhelmingly devoted to Qian. And itâs funny in the show because it feels petty, because it is a little petty, but under the surface there is a lot of richness in understanding that Yuanâs position as an adoptee, as a traumatized child, as someone that was saved and probably felt the need to maintain his place, who didnât have the same level of security in the household as Xiao Bao has had, Yuan has made Qian his number one priority for a significant part of his life, so much so that Qian has fallen right back in to the routine of anticipating being cared for by Yuan upon his return, but it is subject to change. To me, this entire episode reads like Yuan telling Qian âyou have the choice not to engage in a relationship with me, but the emotional distance and deprioritization you are experiencing right now will be the new normal, can you bear that?âÂ
Qian walks up to the table and sees a truly impressive layout of food in front of him, and he looks somewhat shocked between the food and Yuan, the food and Yuan. Yuan has always been a helpful person, he has been trying to ease Qianâs burdens his entire life, but heâs an adult now and thus his reciprocated care means actually being able to provide for and support Qian holistically. Yuan walks out of the kitchen with a hangover cure, and Chris performs an inspired bit of improv and reaches for the glass, because Qian has slipped back into a world where someone cares about him first. But like I said, Yuan isnât acting that way right now.Â
I love that Qian looks to his right to see if San Pang caught his #awkwardmoment and that is sustained throughout the dinner as Qian keeps stealing glances at Yuan, but looking away before he can have any silent interactions with Yuan at all. My favorite part of this scene is Yuanâs interaction with San Pang who is also absolutely awkward with Yuan. In this scene we get a massive dig from Yuan to both San Pang and Qian, and on the surface itâs petty but if you look in an additional layer, there is so much disrespect behind Yuanâs words.Â
âSan Pang. Thank you. Iâve thought a lot during my time abroad. If it werenât for you, I wouldnât have the chance to go to the US and get what I have now. Iâm grateful to you. Thank you.â
It is important, in my mind, that the end of this statement is followed with a cut to Qianâs face and not San Pangâs because it wasnât San Pang that sent Yuan to the US. He was the one who delivered the news for sure, but it was the money Qian had saved over the course of years that sent Yuan abroad. There is soooo much disrespect in this statement because Yuan is ignoring Qianâs contribution to his time abroad and he is telling San Pang, essentially, that anything that happens between Yuan and Qian moving forward is directly because of him.Â
And now, a commercial break for the funniest scene in the show to date:Â
Here we start with the hands :) Yuan enters Qianâs room and immediately moves behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Qian is mad about San Pang and Lili and he is fully not making eye contact with Yuan, barely even turns in his direction when he enters the room, puts as much distance between himself and Yuan as he can in his room.Â
âGe. Have you ever thought that we canât accept changes because weâre too used to the way things were?â
And we get Qian finally and slowly looking in Yuanâs general direction, Yuan moves to the bed, to Qianâs side and over the course of the conversation Qian looks towards Yuan about three more times, but he never turns completely, he never looks directly. Not even when Yuan calls him âWei Qianâ which was a brilliant fucking move on his part when heâs trying to drive home the point that the nature of peopleâs relationships to one another can change. Yuan leaves and the camera cuts to him leaving exiting Qianâs room and entering his own and a few seconds later, Qian opens his door, standing in the doorway in a similar fashion to how we saw him at the end of Episode 6 right after Yuan had left the house to go to the States.Â
gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul
As time continues, and Qian has not verbalized his own feelings for Yuan, Yuan starts pushing him a little harder. At first there was distance, then touch, and now he is getting bolder, literally getting in Qianâs face when he isnât paying attention so that Qian is forced to look on in surprise and heâs asking Qian a question with his face so close there is literally no where for Qian to turn to. And Qian responds not only by looking at him, but by scanning his face, eyes flitting down to Yuanâs lips two separate times. Yuan lets the moment hang long enough for Qian to show his uncertainty around what is about to happen (is Yuan going in for a kiss?) before he breaks the tension by asking Qian a business question. But heâs been successful in shaking Qian because Qian looks back at Yuan twice in ten seconds, while Yuan just continues to stare directly at Qian to prevent Qian from stealing glances.Â
We cut to probably my favorite scene of the episode with Yuan feeding Qian, mostly because Qian has no fucking idea what to do about it. Also because it has absolutely one of my favorite blocking moments when Qian reaches for the bowl in Yuanâs hand at the same time Yuan leans forward to feed him. I love this moment a) because the execution of the motion is so smooth and b) because of the concept of food as love. Qian here is trying to take the food from Yuan while Yuan is reaching out with the spoon to feed Qian his love. Qian takes the proffered bite apprehensively, and then rejects the continued action by taking the bowl from Yuan.Â
And Yuan as he usually is, spends all his time staring straight at Qian, so that Qian is forced to catch his eye if and when he looks in Yuanâs general direction. Qian is really struggling with his feelings for Yuan this episode so he rushes to finish his food and get the fuck out of dodge. Between each bite he looks to Yuan for just a second before turning his head further and further to the side so as not to catch Yuan in his periphery.Â
âThey say if you like someone, even if you wear a mask you can see it in their eyesâ Qian cannot look at Yuan, because Yuan is bleeding his feelings for Qian. Qian cannot look at Yuan because Qian is bleeding his feelings for Yuan. But unfortunately for Qian, it is not just his eyes that give him away. Because he has not reckoned with his new feelings, Qian is incapable of interacting with Yuan without being the most awkward motherfucker alive. Because Yuan is confident in what he wants and Qian is still having to adjust. Qian finishes the food and hands the empty bowl back to Yuan, and just as he is about to remove himself from the situation, Yuan scoops up the very last remnants of the meal and starts to feed it to Qian.Â
Qian for just a second jerks his head back, in the same way that he moved his head slightly backwards when he turned to find Yuan staring at him in his bedroom. Much in the same way that he will take a step back later when Yuan moves to fix his collar. But because Qian does have feelings for Yuan and is fighting a losing battle, that instinctual reaction to put some distance between them, to not be cared for, quickly makes way into a deflated submission as he lets Yuan feed him those last little morsels. Yuan walks away as Qian just sits in quiet, annoyed, resignation. Chrisâ face throughout this entire scene is just absolutely hysterical. Â
Yet another commercial break, because I am dying at Yuan being a menace
I do think it is worth noting that Qianâs reaction to this is very similar to his reaction to Yuan saying he liked him in that first attempt where he physically and emotionally disengages, gives him a little pat and tries to remove himself from the situation at hand.Â
Absolutely the most normal and relaxed Qian has acted around Yuan for this entire episode is in the scene where Lili is bailing on the family trip and he and Yuan are discussing what to do next. Is that little hand stopping the trunk from opening all the way a little desperate? Yeah I think so. But holy shit is it the least tense Qian has been with Yuan in quite some time.Â
That does not last long though because once they get in the car, Qian sits there expectantly, waiting for the charged sexual tension that would come with Yuan reaching over him to buckle his seat belt. I love this show for giving us the parallel fishing trips, because Yuan originally tried to pull the BL Seatbelt Staple years prior without complete success, Qian does not get the luxury of a second chance to get butterflies in his stomach having Yuan that close. Itâs fucking brilliant to have had the buckle before, because it means the audience very clearly knows what Qian is thinking and expecting when he makes no move of his own to buckle up.
gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul
What I love so much about this moment is that Qian has been trying to avoid these feelings time and time again since Yuan returned. And here we know heâs lost because for the first time in the entire episode he is waiting for Yuan to make a move. He wants Yuan to buckle him in. He canât say it out loud, itâs embarrassing for him to have Yuan not buckle him in while having Yuan passively calling him out on his expectations.Â
If Qianâs absolute inability to function with Yuan gone was not enough of an indication that Qian has lost this fight already, this is absolutely the point in which we know Yuan has won. Because after all the avoidance, those split seconds of jumping back, of adding distance, of trying to shorten the time the two of them are alone together, Qian doesnât bail on the trip and Qian waits for Yuan to make a move.Â
First, it must be acknowledged that under the sunlight, Qianâs hair is very red. In other words. The boy has uke hair.Â
âWhen did you get so good at fishingâ Qian asks
âWhen I was abroad I used to go hiking and fishing by myself. I didnât feel lonely when I imagined you were by my side,â Yuan repliesÂ
and Qian furrows his brow slightly because Qian did that too. Not the hiking-and-fishing part, but the curbing the loneliness by imagining-Yuan-was-there part. We can see it in Episode 7 when he smiles and toasts the air at his side with his beer can after Lili and San Pang leave for the Christmas market, and if you didnât catch that moment the first time (I did not) we get it again in the flashback Qian has, remembering the brightness and the chaos of Lili and Yuan being in the house.Â
âGe, do you have something to say?â
âZhiyuan, donât keep your feelings for me anymore. Nothing will come of themâ Yuan chuckles, which likeâŠvalid buddy, cause that is fucking hilarious. Not because Yuan doesnât have feelings for Qian, but because something will definitely come of them. Because this is Qianâs last attempt at trying to maintain the status quo. Trying to be responsible and keep their feelings for each other at a non-romantic level. But itâs too late, Qian, youâre a goner. Qian looks at Yuan, but only in his peripheral vision, he dares not look at Yuan flat out at this point.Â
âWhat makes you think I still have feelings for you?â Qian looks at Yuan immediately after he says that, and not just looks at his face, but down his body, and then out in to his own thoughts.Â
âGe, do you remember a long time ago you asked me what I would do if the person I liked got married?â
âYou said youâd go crazyâ
âMy answerâs changed.âÂ
And with that Qian has the sharpest, fastest head turn weâve seen from him all episode but for the first time in the entire episode, Yuan is not looking a Qian. He is giving Qian the space to look, to think. He tells Qian that he will be happy as long as the person that he likes is happy, and we immediately see this tension release itself from Qianâs forehead. Qian is looking pensive throughout the conversation, and his eyes only move once Yuan moves again that Qianâs eyes follow the motion of the lid. Yuan moves to sit on the container, which places Qian not only below him, but the camera angle shrinks Qian down so he appears even smaller than usual next to Yuan.Â
Qian looks at Yuan when he sits downÂ
âWei Qian. Donât you like Wei Zhiyuan?â Yuan asks, and the moment his question finishes, Qian looks away, because Qian has been incapable of maintaining eye contact where any romantic feelings are involved, but he is actually thinking here. You can see that question weighing heavy on Qianâs mind. And he canât just run away from it so he closes his eyes and looks away again.Â
âIf you do, is it only because weâre brothers?â and Qianâs jaw tenses considerably as he processes the question. You can see his lip move, you can see the twitching of his cheek as he clenches his teeth. But Yuan is done teasing Qian. Qian has become increasingly more obvious in his reactions to Yuan and now that Yuan has successfully riled Qian up over the past few days and they are alone where they had their first conversation about Yuanâs crush on an unknown boy. @romchat has already pointed out the reverse imagery for the parallel here but Yuan reaches out and clasps Qianâs cheek, the same way that Qian has done for Yuan countless times.Â
gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul
When Yuanâs hand first makes contact, Qian looks at it but keeps his eyes trained downward. But the second time that Yuanâs thumb slides gently across his cheek, Qian looks up, looks straight into Yuanâs eyes. He does not tense any further, he does not fight against it, he does not shy away from Yuanâs touch or Yuanâs gaze. (@respectthepetty has a very lovely little breakdown of this scene herself here)
âThis thing about us, is it that you donât want, or you donât dare?â Yuan asks and we move back to a wide angle shot that closes out the episode with the little title card. But Chris doesnât stop acting just because there isnât a close up on his face, oh no. No. Instead Qianâs face relaxes eeeeeever so slightly, and you can see him swallow hard. This is not a question he wants to be faced with because we all know what the answer is, and the answer is that he does want, but doesnât dare. And the second that his fear of losing Yuan for a second time becomes stronger than his fear of changing their relationship? Game over.Â
This show is putting so many worms in my brain, I love it so much, and I am so looking forward to episode 9 where I get to see my boys being put through hell at the hands of the gang. Torture my boys! They donât have enough angst!!
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