MONA @justagirl-trying - Tumblr Blog

Does the talking stage even matter when you both just KNOW you’ll be talking together forever as one unit under God?

#me #mona #personal #albanian #girl #love #marriage #fiancee #fiancée #engaged #love of my life #Albanian couple

This is a different kind of love. Like a family kind of love and my family is only getting bigger. My heart feels overwhelmed in the best way possible that only God himself can write such a quantum love and I had to take the leap of faith. When I think of this family, I think of God’s love and it’s so beautiful. I don’t even have to meet everyone in this family to know this is true. I can feel it and my instincts and God is never wrong. When God creates something GOOD, it’s perfect and I want to cherish his image through the people I love and choose to love.

I’m 32 and I finally was gifted the love of my life through the power and faith of Christ Jesus and I still cannot believe the man I’m marrying is not one of the Lord’s right hand angels in disguise. Jesus, when I lost all hope and faith in myself and gave everything I had to you, you gave everything to me. When I look into this man’s eyes, I see you. When I see his family, I see the face of God. And when he embraces me, I feel like the alter in the tabernacle being held with love, faith, and the love of God through another child of the Lord.

God gave me the strength and hope to keep going and gifted me with the ability to see my future again with this man. I will always live and cherish him for the rest of my life. God knew we would need each other. Maybe me more so and I’m ok with that. Before I knew I had to keep going for God and for myself. I couldn’t fathom what would be on the other side of that decades long physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual journey, but what I do know is that God prepared me. Even when I couldn’t understand how or why, I knew I was being prepared for something and would pray that something would be better. I just didn’t know how much better it was going to be.

I’ve never felt more sure of anything else in my life. I have loved people and animals and books and everything in life but I have never loved a man like this. In a way that feels pure and deep and as if it was always there but I couldn’t see it until recently. And it’s funny because we’ve crossed paths before even 10 years ago not knowing that we’d end up together. He was working at a club I went to with my cousins. He set up some swings there and I was the customer to actually use them and he was working that night but little did we know I’m another country that we’d end up in America together somehow.

I’m not gonna lie. I’m a little overwhelmed with love right now. I want to right and I also can’t keep up with my own thoughts and feelings. In a good way. I’ll write more another time. I should really pick up a pen and paper again. Maybe that’ll help me slow down my thought process and be more introspective and thoughtful about how much I love this man because I’ve not experienced this real healing growing sort of love before. I’ve lived long enough to know what is from God and what isn’t. This is written, signed, sealed and delivered by God. It’s just up to me to take care of his beloved son now and vise versa.

Maybe I will go pick up a one. I have so many empty and unfinished diaries from my collection over the last 15 years and counting.

P.S.

I know it’s real for so many reasons already but a really big one I missed; we’re moving in together. To others it may seem quick but to us, it’s been a long time coming. He waited 3 years for me already and help on to hope even when I didn’t have any. I think it’s time we live together even with all that distance we went through. There’s a lifetime of getting closer that we want to start doing now. I have no doubts in my gut, heart, brain and soul. I’ve never been so sure of a real life relationship and partnership in my life. The only words I can find to do any justice is that I know this has the Lord written all over it because we both prayed and prayed and God heard our prayers and brought us together again even when I was scared.

#me #mona #personal #albanian #love #fiancée #marriage #burri jem #nusja #I can’t wait to marry you #girl #Albanian love #Albanian couple #shqipe #dashuri #my love #husband

remanence-of-love

♓ ♆ ♫ ☼ ☾ ☯ ♡ ✿ ∞ ┼

Deeply Tumblr Diary,

This is the only place I feel safe enough to write this down and post it at to get off my chest. Tumblr has always been the only place where the vibes were safe enough. But anyway there was a meeting in the family today with my dad, some uncles and a love suitor proposing marriage their fashion Albanian way and the whole nine. Like willing to take care of me, pay for my dowry and all.

So it looks like I’ll be getting married soon.

I’m 32 years old now. I’ve met him before and he was very nice and respectful. I liked him a lot. My uncles and my dad are obsessed with him. My mom loves him and she’s also obsessed with him and his sister and his sister‘s husband. I think this is a win-win for everybody and he says he’s willing to financially, emotionally, and physically, take care of me and understand my chronic illness. As long as I’m a good wife to him and I’m there for him when he comes home. He’s willing to pay for my hair in my nails, and all of this stuff for the rest of my life, and I don’t see anything that I have to lose in this. My dad wants me to do some trial dates with him and maybe even possibly a trial run in the future of living in his house for a week or two to see how I would feel. But it does look like I’ll be getting married soon.

I met him about three years ago, almost and he still can’t forget about me. And he still hears about me from my uncles and he understands my chronic illness and all of the things that they’ve talked about behind my back about me and if he still likes me all of this time, then I really think it could work out.

#me #mona #personal #future #marriage #arranged marriage #Albanian