liza @justaliza - Tumblr Blog

my big ass heart is ruining me. Ruining me bitch

How do I explain to my dad that I’m laughing at the time in first grade when my friend really wanted the purple cupcake out of the rainbow cupcakes I had brought for my birthday and I didn’t give her a purple one on purpose. How do I say that I was an asshole in first grade with a straight face.

gracelesstars

2020 has been like:

January

February

March

Ap-

Junly

Augsepoctob…Halloween

Destiel

December

confusedtree-deactivated2013092

I don’t think we take enough time to appreciate the periods in our life when our noses aren’t runny. Is your nose runny right now? No? Think about that. Honestly reflect on it. Enjoy this era of peace. There are dark times on the horizon

rat-femurs

in grade 6 and every time we had a movie day or class party id ask my mom for a can of doctor pepper but i had to keep it in my backpack and it always got shaken up and would explode when i opened it bcus we all know dr pepper has much more chaos inside the can than any other soda and anyways my whole class instinctively knew every time that my doctor pepper would explode and we'd have to pause the movie and clean it up and id usually be covered in dr pepper for the rest of the day and be super embarrassed and this happened to me about twelve times throughout the year. you might be wondering why i couldnt keep my dr pepper in my locker until we watched the movie and its because i didnt have a locker in grade six after i left a piece of pumpkin pie that my teacher gave me in there for a month and it rotted and molded so bad and there were maggots everywhere so one day i locked the locker and refused to open it ever again so for a whole year i carried all my stuff around because i was afraid to go to admin and tell them about my maggot pie because someone started a rumor that if the principle figured out you did something bad she would lock you down in the basement storage room that was infamous for having a giant rat that lived inside of it and i was afraid of rats after seeing ratatouille because i thought a rat might climb inside my hair and start controlling me and force me to do things i didnt want to do like make soup

boarofthenorth100

Im Going To The Visit Sea

Well Here I Am

Who’s your friend?

Its Called A Fish

*barges out of coffin at funeral yelling sike*

swqadie

Every one: You have to make time for yourself! me: *stays up until 1 am every night crying* Me time 😍💆

c-ptsdrecovery

(Seen on FB)

RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.

When I was at one of my lowest (mental) points in life, I couldn’t get out of bed some days. I had no energy or motivation and was barely getting by.

I had therapy once per week, and on this particular week I didn’t have much to ‘bring’ to the session. He asked how my week was and I really had nothing to say.

“What are you struggling with?” he asked.

I gestured around me and said “I dunno man. Life.”

Not satisfied with my answer, he said “No, what exactly are you worried about right now? What feels overwhelming? When you go home after this session, what issue will be staring at you?”

I knew the answer, but it was so ridiculous that I didn’t want to say it.

I wanted to have something more substantial.

Something more profound.

But I didn’t.

So I told him, “Honestly? The dishes. It’s stupid, I know, but the more I look at them the more I CAN’T do them because I’ll have to scrub them before I put them in the dishwasher, because the dishwasher sucks, and I just can’t stand and scrub the dishes.”

I felt like an idiot even saying it.

What kind of grown ass woman is undone by a stack of dishes? There are people out there with *actual* problems, and I’m whining to my therapist about dishes?

But my therapist nodded in understanding and then said:

“RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.”

I began to tell him that you’re not supposed to, but he stopped me.

“Why the hell aren’t you supposed to? If you don’t want to scrub the dishes and your dishwasher sucks, run it twice. Run it three times, who cares?! Rules do not exist, so stop giving yourself rules.”

It blew my mind in a way that I don’t think I can properly express.

That day, I went home and tossed my smelly dishes haphazardly into the dishwasher and ran it three times.

I felt like I had conquered a dragon.

The next day, I took a shower lying down.

A few days later. I folded my laundry and put them wherever the fuck they fit.

There were no longer arbitrary rules I had to follow, and it gave me the freedom to make accomplishments again.

Now that I’m in a healthier place, I rinse off my dishes and put them in the dishwasher properly. I shower standing up. I sort my laundry.

But at a time when living was a struggle instead of a blessing, I learned an incredibly important lesson:

THERE ARE NO RULES.

RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE!!!

(by Kate Scott 2018)

Water that’s been in your car for five days just hits different