Just Alter Things

A Blog By Some Cool Alters

[justalterthings]

Knowing that whoever was out earlier drank caffeine, not because of any communication or anything, just because caffeine makes you nauseous

[justalterthings]

when you are almost always fronting so you start to think you're fake but then you switch out again so you think 'oh I wasn't faking after all' but then you don't switch in weeks and you think you're fake again etc etc

.

[justalterthings]

tfw u feel fake abt ur DID bc no one remembers what trauma happened to have caused us, which really fucking sucks bc now it just feels fake??? like if we cant remember anything, did it even happen in the first place?? also who even knows what happened, the father has just been witholding info for years so whatevs ☆彡

[justalterthings]

Being woken up just to be asked a fact about Bioshock because the host couldn’t remember. WHY

[justalterthings]

when u realize a past protector has basically turned into a persecutor with the family in an attempt to keep us safe from them but only makes things worse and to top it off, he has an ed and makes eating super fucking difficult so when hes out its high energy Anger(tm) and being very weak body-wise as well bc he hates how food feels in the mouth ☆彡

[justalterthings]

If I’m asleep and you wanna wake up and do wholesome things u like that don’t hurt anyone /“had to add that clarification lmao” / I don’t know everything about y’all but I suspect things / “oh you s uspect things” / don’t turn into a persecutor Lem you’re like my fucking brother and if that happened I would eat my own asshole / (both of us cracking up and it’s all good) (“in fair point I’m the Fight Bitch on my scene but why would I do dangerous human things like some sort of human 😂”)

[justalterthings]

Tfw when one of the teen alters wakes the whole system up singing metal songs in the headspace two whole hours before you have to be up and the rest of us are just going why are you like this boi.

[justalterthings]

Trying to lose weight,,, and SOMEONE thinks its okay to eat a dozen sugar cookies,,, who said

[justalterthings]

One of my alters had a really bad night and forgot everything and really hurt our partner, and then continued to switch in at horrible time and kept saying awful stuff to them that none of us agree with. Now our partner has zero trust for us and is probably gonna leave us. I have no idea who did this, but fuck you asshole

it’s worth remembering that, while you and the others may not have control over this individual alter’s actions, you are all collectively responsible for the health, behavior, and relationships of the system overall. It would be worthwhile to try and talk to this alter about their behavior, to discuss with your partners ways in which you as a system can do better (whether this involves talking about individual alters or just you all as a collective depends on how much your partner knows about your DID/OSDD) in your relationship, and to plan ahead to create alternatives to lashing out to people around you when more destructive alters switch in at inopportune moments. This is of course going to be a process, and ideally would be helped by a professional therapist, but there are resources out there for self-help, boundary setting, and self-care that can go a long way toward helping make your system more communicative and functional overall. We’ve been through this ourselves, and I myself am currently struggling with the burden of being in relationships that I don’t want to be in, for the sake of the system as a whole and the other alters who do. Our inbox is always open, but remember that communication, honesty, and dynamic cooperation (both with your system and your partner) will go a long way toward developing healthy, stable relationships

[justalterthings]

I hate having to deal with the pain of another alters stupid action

[justalterthings]

hey shoutout to whoever the fuck is telling me to eat this entire pizza in headspace- i hear you, and no, i wont do it. i am the protector for a reason. i am fronting to midigate the damage that Host would've done. We Do Not Need To Eat An Entire Pizza.

[justalterthings]

I'm waiting for someone to ask if we're ok during a switch bc it gets hard to breathe,,,,,

[justalterthings]

having to constantly casually ask abt stuff and pushing it off as bad memory to singlets. (ex. 'do we- i mean i like licorice? sorry i havent had it in a while and uhhh-)

[justalterthings]

Tfw symptoms of your suspected OSDD are getting bad and you wanna talk to a doctor and therapist but anxiety is not letting you and all your alters are yelling at you but nope .

[justalterthings]

when someone tries to tell you 'it's all in your head' and youre just there like 'n ofucking sh i t its called a MENTAL disorder for a fuckign reas on you shit'

[justalterthings]

I stumbled across this by chance, and I’m just wondering, what’s an alter?

in the context of dissociative identity disorder (DID), or one of the related other specified dissociative disorders that involve the presence of dissociated parts of the personality/identity, an alter is merely one such dissociated part that an individual with DID/OSDD experiences as a distinct entity from themself (which is why DID used to be called Multiple Personality Disorder, as the experience internally is often that of having multiple people or entities inside one body and mind). 

What alters are more clinically speaking, are those aspects of the identity which were prevented from integrating into a coherent self during childhood by the presence of dissociative barriers that formed in response to inescapable childhood trauma. These dissociated parts then develop into distinct entities, which often have their own identities, motivations, values, and personality traits, each developed to help the person overall cope with the trauma and its after effects. At its core, DID/OSDD, which is the cause of alters, is a complex form of childhood ptsd. I would recommend looking into the site http://did-research.org/index.html for more information if you’re interested.

That being said, to individuals who have DID/OSDD, alters are a very real and very significant part of their lives, and are people, even if their overall function is as part of a greater system (the word for a collection of alters comprising an individual with DID/OSDD). They are not just medicalized constructs, and they are not just responses to trauma, even if that is reason many of us exist. We’re deserving of respect, just like every other person you meet. I would recommend talking to people or reading about the experiences of those who have DID/OSDD in their own words, in order to gain a better and humanized understanding of what it is like to have, and to be, an alter.

[justalterthings]

I have been diagnosed with dissociation but I have more symptoms of D.I.D. and it annoys me so much. I wish I was only either one of them so I’d be valid. I’m in a dissociation therapy group and no one else there has alters.

yeah i understand what thats like, its hard to be in a place where people dont understand everything you’re going through. I’d recommend talking to your therapist about your symptoms of DID and explaining why you think they fit better, and working at the same time to address your dissociation more generally in a therapeutic context