did I miss anything?
I wanted a friend, didn’t want a date and yet we texted, we met, we played. we awkwardly hugged, kissed, fucked and decided it was worth taking a punt. you were there, you listened and I let go of my fears and never said no. I’d have never thought you could get so close to someone you didn’t know up until a few weeks ago. you were a stranger until you became you, you made me happy but I was still blue. I got used to your giggle, your voice, your smell. there wasn’t anything that I couldn’t tell you out loud, that I couldn’t share. did we hit the jackpot? isn’t it rare? getting along, being friends, not keeping our hands off each other, and seeing the city that never sleeps while we slept tangled up in each other’s arms, not holding a fart. the way we’d talk, we’d cry and laugh, the way you’d look at me wasn’t enough if you left me after six months by leaving a hole through the door when I said the scariest word. here it is, crumbling around me, my whole world. turns out this was nothing to you and I was alone. it breaks my heart that you, too, are one of my poems. draw a line if you can and miss talking to me till your guts hurt cause that’s how it will be. what does it mean I’m the first you want to talk to about how you feel? I might be sad and messed up, but I do know this was real. and you fucked it up. I wish you came back with something to say, but today is not the day and it might never be. I lost a friend and a lover, I don’t understand. guess I’m not really that strong so this is the end.
ps. you said bad things come in three, I hope that’s it for this year and I’m finally free.
