TW:infidelity
It would be unfair to paint my husband out to be this horrible person, because in reality he is not. He just makes terrible , selfish choices. Shortly before leaving for his short tour, I found out that my husband had been cheating on me online. He had been sending women money for pictures of them in hopes to build a secret IG account. Let’s take a step back, my husband has a foot fetish and while I may not understand it, I do not judge him for it. Back to what I was originally saying, I had found this out and confronted him. He apologized, begged me not to leave , and said it wouldn’t happen again.
At that point , I felt like our relationship meant less to him than likes and followers for this secret IG I wasn’t suppose to know about.
We moved past the incident, and I made the choice to forgive him for his actions. It was difficult to try and do this because he was leaving for a year and if I could t trust him in our own home, how could I trust him so far away?
When he got home from his short tour, we were stateside for about two more weeks and then PCS’d to Germany. A few months here, and I happen to see pictures of women on his phone. When confronted, he placed blame on me and made it about my own insecurities verses him having them. This brought back ALL the feeling from before. He was doing it AGAIN. I let him convince me that I was being self conscious, and playing a victim. I let it go.
Fast forward to this weekend, a friend of ours was trying to send my husband gas money through Apple Pay and asked me to look at my husbands phone and see if he got the notification. My husband was in the gas station, and I thought nothing of it. When I went to unlock his phone, IG was already opened on it, I realized the name was different than the one I was aware of. This made me feel like I needed to see what it was. I went to the feed and saw a that my husband yet another secret IG account that he posted about his fetish on, even posting topless pictures of himself and selfies. I went to the DMs and saw that he was having many conversations with women , complimenting them and overall not conducting himself in a way that a married man should. I kept my cool, waited until we were no longer around company and the told him was needed to talk. I told him what I saw me his response? That I violated his privacy by looking at his phone. He stormed off.
We haven’t had a conversation since. It’s now Monday.
I used today to talk to the chaplain on base, seriously if you haven’t already utilized them , DO IT. They made me feel heard. They asked me permission to speak to my husband because they felt it would be best to hear both sides. I gave them his number, so we will see what happens next.