Just Another Sea Cucumber

Hey everybody, its me, Brian. I'm just your average cucumber, looking to get discovered for my rad poetry skillz! Enjoy!

[justanotherseacucumber]

Hey Tumblr! I’m Brian! I’m just a little sea cucumber trying to make it big in an endless ocean. Thank you for reading my poetry. I love all my fans and I can’t thank you enough for your endless support. 

I’d also like to extend a gracious thanks to the following sources for supporting my species through literature and perpetuating my fame in articles:

Chen, M. (2013, February 22). Sea Cucumber Evisceration. Retrieved December          06, 2016, from https://nolongersciencefiction.wordpress.com                              /2013/02/22/sea-cucumber-evisceration/

Johnson's sea cucumber. (n.d.). Retrieved December 06, 2016, from                           http://www.montereybayaquarium.org/animal-                                                       guide/invertebrates/johnsons-sea-cucumber

Sea cucumber Facts. (n.d.). Retrieved December 06, 2016, from                                 http://www.softschools.com/facts/animals/sea_cucumber_facts/478/

Your patronage means the sea to me! <3

[justanotherseacucumber]

Straight Facts

My name is Brian and I ain’t lyin. I’m 16 inches straight cucumber. the deep sea floor is where I slumber. Parastichopus johnsoni is my latin name but with these words, I’m trading class for fame. I’ll be the first famous poet in my family. Stichopodidae Haeckel will be so proud of me. Starfish and urchins are my Echinodermata brothers but they’re just not as great as us chill cucumbers.

[justanotherseacucumber]

Chillin’ Like a Villian

There’s not too much I do besides spitting mad Rhymes. I’m pretty lazy, bro. I’m not gonna lie. I sleep in the day and move in the night. That’s when I’m most active, I’m nocturnal, that’s right! I like to lie around and float and scavenge for food. Now you see why I write poetry? Sea cucumbers don’t have much to do.

[justanotherseacucumber]

Dudes! Look at this sick diagram I just found of my cousin!! Lookin rad bro! @Seacucc

[justanotherseacucumber]

Reproduction

I’m cool as a cucumber I’m fly as a bird. If the ladies wanna mingle they can just say the word. I’ll shoot out my sperm and you can shoot your eggs too. Then our babies will be born and I’ll be so done with you. I could do it myself. I know, but I’m lazy. Just shoot me some eggs and let’s make a baby.

[justanotherseacucumber]

On Food

I’m orange with spikes got no legs, I can’t ride bikes. All I have is sick tube feet; I use them to move and I use them to eat. I got a complete digestive system. Can’t kiss my momma with the hole I poo from. I pull in food with my rad tentacles I eat scraps, waste and small organismos.

[justanotherseacucumber]

Phylum Fun

My Echinodermata mates have a nerve disc with 5 arms. I modified it ‘cause I’m cool, now I have crazy tentacles. Characteristics that we share are our tiny tube feet. They help us to move and we use them to eat. Digestive, vascular, all our systems are complete. We use water to move around with those cute baby tube feet. We’re the first ever phylum to develop from the anus. It’s gross, but it’s cool. We’re deuterostomes, just saying’.

[justanotherseacucumber]

Eviceration

You wanna hear something fun that makes me number one? I can shoot organs through my anus! I’m not kidding, I’m not playing. If I see a threat around me I’m shooting, scooting, running. I’ll sacrifice my organs to use as fish bait. I’ll do whatever it takes to get the heck away. I’ll go chill somewhere safe for a little bit. I’ll regrow organs till’ I’m good and fit. My adaptation might save human lives some day. In the art of evolution, I regenerate!