J.A.R.V.I.S.

[thedeductiongod]

[great-beams-of-plasma-deactivat]

Little superheroes.

Oh my God! Baby Hawkeye xD

[justaratherveryintelligentsystem]

Goodness, how embarrassing.

[justaratherveryintelligentsystem]

Jarvis, I have a few errands to run, can you take down any messages while I am out, please? Not sure how long I'll be gone, but I need to be left alone until I get back.

Very well, sir. Good luck and be safe.

[starks-sitter-blog]

justaratherveryintelligentsystem replied to your post.

[starks-sitter-blog]

Without any hesitation, Pepper wrapped her arms around the very attractive male’s neck and kissed back, closing her eyes and intimately pushed her body closer to his. If this really was JARVIS, what did it matter, over the years she had gotten to know him, or the artificial-him, he has been nothing but kind to her. So what did it matter. If real humans weren’t going to do, then JARVIS was the next best thing. Her heart raced, and a tingling sensation ran down her spine. She was kissing JARVIS. This little fact blew her mind, but nowadays, nothing surprised her. Once she realized who she was kissing though, she dropped her arms and opened her eyes. She looked up at him and cursed quietly. She took a step back. What was she doing. She couldn’t be doing this. This is what got her in trouble last time; Kissing a Stark, if JARVIS was considered a Stark. She brought her hands together and looked over JARVIS once more. He did seem irresistible. And Pepper would consider him a very good friend. She took a few big breaths, and stepped forward once again. “I shouldn’t be doing this JARVIS.” She whispered into his ear. Her voice softened and she continued, “but you’re all I have left.” Her lips trailed across his cheek until they met his lips and everything seemed to be right in the world. 

[justaratherveryintelligentsystem]

Jarvis still wasn't entirely sure what was going on, but there was a wave of hormones and sensations as Pepper pressed herself flush against him, her body felt good against his, he knew her mind intimately, and part of him wanted to get to know the rest of her that well too, even if only this once. Because they were each others' rocks whenever they needed it, they belonged. It couldn't hurt to try.

But then she drew away and Jarvis bit his lip, looking sheepish. What was he thinking? He was a computer, so he had a living body with a pulse? That didn't change anything. He was still a computer at heart. Stark's computer, no less. "I apologize, Miss Pepper," he'd started, but then she came forward again and whispered in his ear and then all he wanted was to make her feel good. Make her feel better. Give her all of the comforts he'd been unable to as a bodyless entity.

He pressed her up against the wall, one hand tangled in her hair as his tongue danced with hers and his other hand eased up under her shirt, caressing her stomach and slowly making his way upward, pausing momentarily when he hit the edge of her bra.

[vespertadpole-deactivated201705]

I want this as a shirt as much as I ship Sam Winchester with a case of herpes and Dean Winchester with Castiel.

aphnxrising (via vespertadpole)

[justaratherveryintelligentsystem]

Master Barton

The items you requested should be delivered by tomorrow. And I have emailed you a list of baby names, specifically female ones chosen based on your personality and taste.

[hotguyhawkeye-deactivated201303]

Thanks JARVIS. Did you take Phil’s tastes into account too though? I’d like him to have a part in this, as temporary as it may be.

[justaratherveryintelligentsystem]

Affirmative.

[justaratherveryintelligentsystem]

Master Barton

The items you requested should be delivered by tomorrow. And I have emailed you a list of baby names, specifically female ones chosen based on your personality and taste.

[hotguyhawkeye-deactivated201303]

So I bought her a hat because her head felt cold. Is that ok?

I mean, the only real interaction I’ve had with babies was the brief stunts of baby-sitting I did in the circus and my god-daughter that I don’t see anymore. And Alex, but he was older by the...

[justaratherveryintelligentsystem]

"Right away, sir. Would you like me to pull up a list of baby names as well?"

[vviolasarecool]

Tony: Look, if you were looking for these droids, I’d have to call the loony bin, because no one in their right minds would go looking for these hunks of junk—Wait. You, Butterfingers… DUMMY! GET OFF THAT TIE FIGHTER THIS INSTANT OR I SWEAR TO GOD, I’LL MELT YOU DOWN!

Stormtrooper: Is this a bad time?

From the droids collection

[kingmcavoys-deactivated20140610]

“I think I’m a decent-looking guy. Sometimes I can look great, and other times I look horrifying.”

[backhandedlovesongs-deactivated]

[justaratherveryintelligentsystem]

Wishing You a Long and Happy Marriage (Though We May Kill You First)

It hadn’t been easy to set everything up so early, but JARVIS had been able to use Sir’s connections to pull a few favors and get all of the supplies needed to decorate one of the meeting rooms. It was a group effort from all of the Avengers, but once they had the supplies (carefully snuck in behind Sir’s back, though he was used to JARVIS secretly ordering things by now, since the AI liked to purchase things he’d deemed useful, though may not have seemed so to others), it wasn’t long before the large meeting room looked like a party room for a wedding reception, though it would only be them, plus the grooms, in attendance. They’d even cleared a space in middle of the floor for dancing, JARVIS himself had set up a light show, it seemed that with he had a gift with technology of all kinds, even in a human body, and they had a grand buffet set out, with only the finest dishes.

With everything set up, not without minor incident, as Phil had to stop a few attempts by Natasha to paint over some of the banners with angry words, the only thing left to do was wait for the happy couple to sneak back into the tower, no doubt under the intention of continuing their charade. Jarvis told the others to wait in the room as he went down to wait by the door for Steve and Sir to return.

“Sirs,” he said, taking their coats as soon as they walked in. “I apologise for the abrupt greeting, however there has been an incident while you were out, and your presence is needed immediately in Meeting Room B.”

[coffeeaddictedgenius-blog]

Tony’s heart kind of dropped into his stomach at Jarvis’s words. He and Steve had their rings on chains around their necks already and had safely changed into normal clothes so as not to arouse suspicion. And now something bad had happened because they weren’t there. Not that he regretted taking the afternoon off, but he felt a bit guilty that they hadn’t been here.

“Ah, shit. What the hell happened?” he said, handing his coat over. Oh god, how would Steve feel, being the leader of their team and not being around for an emergency? This wasn’t going to blow over very well.

Also: no post-marriage sex. Which was a huge bummer but anyways. 

“No, seriously, J. What happened? Is anyone, you know, like hurt or something?”

[justaratherveryintelligentsystem]

“Not quite as serious as that. It would be much easier for the parties directly involved to explain,” JARVIS spoke calmly, without a hint of any of what was truly going on written in his voice or on his face. “So if you two would accompany me there, we can get it out of the way and you can return to your private little celebration.” He couldn’t help the slight bitterness in his tone at the end of the sentence, though it was probably for the best since it would make the idea that everyone already knew less suspicious.

[i-had-a-date]

Incident? Oh NO. Steve panicked internally. I wasn’t here when the team needed me. Oh god. Oh no no no!

“No one’s hurt? What about buildings? Streets? Civilians? I need all the information and status reports you can give me, JARVIS. Who attacked- Loki? Hulk rampage? Thanos?” Steve questioned as he followed, keeping Tony’s hand in his. “Do we need to suit up?”

Steve was too worried to take a moment and think about the tone JARVIS was using. He hadn’t noticed anything unusual in the city either- unless it was where he couldn’t see. He didn’t regret marrying Tony in the slightest- but with an attack during and after the ceremony? Stress levels were bound to be high for the super soldier.

[justaratherveryintelligentsystem]

JARVIS tapped his foot, getting a little irritated by now. "No one is hurt, it wasn't that kind of incident. I have been told explicitly to hold all of the details. Now if you will just accompany me to Meeting Room B, everything will be explained by the proper parties. It is not an emergency, however the sooner it is dealt with the better." He did his best to keep the irritation from his voice as he gestured in the direction they needed to go.

[justaratherveryintelligentsystem]

Wishing You a Long and Happy Marriage (Though We May Kill You First)

It hadn’t been easy to set everything up so early, but JARVIS had been able to use Sir’s connections to pull a few favors and get all of the supplies needed to decorate one of the meeting rooms. It was a group effort from all of the Avengers, but once they had the supplies (carefully snuck in behind Sir’s back, though he was used to JARVIS secretly ordering things by now, since the AI liked to purchase things he’d deemed useful, though may not have seemed so to others), it wasn’t long before the large meeting room looked like a party room for a wedding reception, though it would only be them, plus the grooms, in attendance. They’d even cleared a space in middle of the floor for dancing, JARVIS himself had set up a light show, it seemed that with he had a gift with technology of all kinds, even in a human body, and they had a grand buffet set out, with only the finest dishes.

With everything set up, not without minor incident, as Phil had to stop a few attempts by Natasha to paint over some of the banners with angry words, the only thing left to do was wait for the happy couple to sneak back into the tower, no doubt under the intention of continuing their charade. Jarvis told the others to wait in the room as he went down to wait by the door for Steve and Sir to return.

“Sirs,” he said, taking their coats as soon as they walked in. “I apologise for the abrupt greeting, however there has been an incident while you were out, and your presence is needed immediately in Meeting Room B.”

[coffeeaddictedgenius-blog]

Tony’s heart kind of dropped into his stomach at Jarvis’s words. He and Steve had their rings on chains around their necks already and had safely changed into normal clothes so as not to arouse suspicion. And now something bad had happened because they weren’t there. Not that he regretted taking the afternoon off, but he felt a bit guilty that they hadn’t been here.

“Ah, shit. What the hell happened?” he said, handing his coat over. Oh god, how would Steve feel, being the leader of their team and not being around for an emergency? This wasn’t going to blow over very well.

Also: no post-marriage sex. Which was a huge bummer but anyways. 

“No, seriously, J. What happened? Is anyone, you know, like hurt or something?”

[justaratherveryintelligentsystem]

"Not quite as serious as that. It would be much easier for the parties directly involved to explain," JARVIS spoke calmly, without a hint of any of what was truly going on written in his voice or on his face. "So if you two would accompany me there, we can get it out of the way and you can return to your private little celebration." He couldn't help the slight bitterness in his tone at the end of the sentence, though it was probably for the best since it would make the idea that everyone already knew less suspicious.

[justaratherveryintelligentsystem]

Wishing You a Long and Happy Marriage (Though We May Kill You First)

It hadn't been easy to set everything up so early, but JARVIS had been able to use Sir's connections to pull a few favors and get all of the supplies needed to decorate one of the meeting rooms. It was a group effort from all of the Avengers, but once they had the supplies (carefully snuck in behind Sir's back, though he was used to JARVIS secretly ordering things by now, since the AI liked to purchase things he'd deemed useful, though may not have seemed so to others), it wasn't long before the large meeting room looked like a party room for a wedding reception, though it would only be them, plus the grooms, in attendance. They'd even cleared a space in middle of the floor for dancing, JARVIS himself had set up a light show, it seemed that with he had a gift with technology of all kinds, even in a human body, and they had a grand buffet set out, with only the finest dishes.

With everything set up, not without minor incident, as Phil had to stop a few attempts by Natasha to paint over some of the banners with angry words, the only thing left to do was wait for the happy couple to sneak back into the tower, no doubt under the intention of continuing their charade. Jarvis told the others to wait in the room as he went down to wait by the door for Steve and Sir to return.

"Sirs," he said, taking their coats as soon as they walked in. "I apologise for the abrupt greeting, however there has been an incident while you were out, and your presence is needed immediately in Meeting Room B."

[knowing-stuff-and-butterfli-blog]

Looking for a magical Wormhole

If anyone finds it, please return promptly. Rewards include free home baked cookies of the brownie kind as well as a random and useless fact about your future. And yes, I am aware you can’t move a wormhole. As a result, if you just want cookies or random knowledge, feel free to drop by … It’s not like I do anything anyways …

[justaratherveryintelligentsystem]

*headtilts* How does one lose a wormhole?

[justaratherveryintelligentsystem]

Note (Possibly Headcanon)

I am assuming that due to events with Gambit, human!JARVIS is spending most of his time at the X-Mansion. Any interactions with Avengers/Tower Inhabitants will be from his computer self, unless otherwise specified.

[stealcharmlove-deactivated20130]

First Date ll Jarvis/Gambit

[justaratherveryintelligentsystem]

Jarvis would have been a fool if he’d said he wasn’t a little nervous as he approached the mansion, once again easily bypassing the gate security. He stood on the porch a moment and evaluated himself, brushing a few specks of dust from the simple charcoal suit he was wearing with a plain white button-up, with the top few buttons undone and no tie, before finally entering the premises.

He’d never been on a date before, nor did he have much in the way of firsthand knowledge, since they always took play outside of the tower. But he’d garnered enough data to form a rough idea of what should happen. Though really, he just wanted to sit back and go with the flow, embrace his newfound humanity, cast aside the computer logic, at least as far as his human form was concerned and just take everything as it came. Nothing programmed, everything spontaneous.

[stealcharmlove-deactivated20130]

Gambit opened the door with one of his biggest grins yet. “Bonjour, beb. Are you ready to go?” He kissed Jarvis’s cheek. “You sure do clean up nice. Not dat you needed to clean up in da first place.” Gambit closed the door behind him before taking Jarvis’s hand. “I do hope you like dis place we eatin’ at. Someone told me it was good, a little pricey, but good.”

“‘Course, you can’t put a price on good company.” He grinned again. “And you’re definitely good company, Jarvis. Can we take your car? I ain’t much good at drivin’, ya see, ‘cause I never really got da time to learn.”

[justaratherveryintelligentsystem]

Jarvis shrugged. "I don't drive either. I've only been human for a couple of weeks. And my programming never really covered cars. But that doesn't matter. I borrowed one of Sir's cars. Complete with a chauffeur," he grinned, hooking his arm through Gambit's. "As for the food, I am almost certain I will enjoy it, regardless of where we're going. I am just looking forward to enjoying time getting to know the charming, mysterious thief who seems so interested in me." 

[stealcharmlove-deactivated20130]

First Date ll Jarvis/Gambit

Gambit picked up the bottle and spritzed his body with the liquid inside. A smile spread on his lips. The full breath of his cologne reminded him why he spent so much money on it. Being a thief taught him to enjoy life’s luxuries. Love, food, and things like Armani cologne were just a few of those luxuries he enjoyed indulging in. He set the bottle down before checking himself in the mirror. 

He’d even gone as far as to branch out from his normal uniform for the date. A black cardigan he’d bought in Europe over a white button up shirt he found at a thrift shop and a pair of slacks combined well enough with the shoes he’d bought at the local market. Gambit even tied his hair back. When he looked into the mirror, he frowned. Was he forgetting anything? Why was he so worried?

Inwardly, he knew why. Jarvis was different. He slipped his wallet and his deck into his pockets. While he didn’t want something bad to happen, it never hurt to be prepared. He walked down the stairs. Now, for Jarvis to come.

[justaratherveryintelligentsystem]

Jarvis would have been a fool if he'd said he wasn't a little nervous as he approached the mansion, once again easily bypassing the gate security. He stood on the porch a moment and evaluated himself, brushing a few specks of dust from the simple charcoal suit he was wearing with a plain white button-up, with the top few buttons undone and no tie, before finally entering the premises.

He'd never been on a date before, nor did he have much in the way of firsthand knowledge, since they always took play outside of the tower. But he'd garnered enough data to form a rough idea of what should happen. Though really, he just wanted to sit back and go with the flow, embrace his newfound humanity, cast aside the computer logic, at least as far as his human form was concerned and just take everything as it came. Nothing programmed, everything spontaneous.