Why is it that we message that one person about one thing, and someone else for another? Why are we the âbest friends ever!â with someone at one moment, and then theyâre gone the next? Aristotle, that philosophical over-performer, might have the answer.
Aristotleâs greatest work, the Nicomachean Ethics, has a lot of say about friendship because he viewed a good friend as requisite to the perfect human life (âEudaimoniaâ).He divides friendships into three categories: useful, pleasant, and good. Only the last should we value above all.
*Useful friends* are those that serve a purpose.They might be a work colleague who you lunch with everyday, or it might be a teammate you see at the weekends. When that purpose is removed (you move jobs, or you stop playing that sport) the friendship dies away.Â
*Pleasant friends* are the ones who are fun to be around. Theyâre witty and quick to laugh. They share those perfect memes and just get your sense of humour. They scream dance until closing time and theyâre right beside you eating that 3 a.m. kebab. But, it might be age, or you might change what you like, and they drift further and further away - immortalised in happy memories and nostalgia.
*Good friends* are the ones who want you to be happy and want you to flourish. They are the ones who say âheâs not right for you, mateâ or âyou could totally get that promotionâ. Theyâre the ones who never tell your secret, and whoâve seen you cry. The ones who wonât put you down, and always want your best. These are the friends Aristotle believes we should aim for and keep.Â
Obviously one person might be all or some of these, and Aristotle said we neednât ditch the first two types of friends; he only argues that we should see them for what they are. With the truest âgoodâ friend, we should stay constant and fixed - for they will make us the best human we can be.
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