Well, there goes all my free time

I’m a lawyer and a psychologist and I need a place to escape

[blackboxwarrior-deactivated2024]

If you dont have anything strange to say, dont say anything at all

[blue0909]

Please stop being nonbinary too. God only created one gender. You must conform to that.

THERES ONLY ONE NOW?????

[wakingfromthewater]

Still thinking about this mobile game ad I got. You will f**k increasingly large creatures.

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

[ihatethisgaywebsite-deactivated]

this tweet hasn't left my mind once in the two years since it's been posted

[orcarriagesthatwork]

I think about this cake every day

[tizzymcwizzy]

sorry for exposing your tags but this is hilarious

[microsuedemouse]

OP, I hope you don’t mind me making an addition:

When I turned 17, we ordered a cake at the grocery store for my party, as we’d done many times before. If you wanted something written on the cake you’d write it into a section of the order form. We requested, very simply, “Happy Birthday Courtney”. When we went to pick it up the day of the party, this is what we got.

The bakery employees had absolutely no explanation for this. The order form, attached to the box, very clearly did not contain any of those extra names. Whomever had done the writing was no longer in, so there was no one to ask how this had happened. The fact that the name ‘Juan’ is misspelled bewilders me to this day. (I’ve never seen ‘Miley’ without the E, either, but it’s believable that someone might spell it that way.) Did this cake slip in from an alternate universe where I’m one quarter of a set of Hispanic quadruplets? Dyslexic Hispanic quadruplets, maybe?

This cake became the focal point of my party. At least two of my friends regularly called me ‘Courtney Mily Jaun Pablo’ for years to come. My siblings and I still reference it sometimes, eleven years later. It is probably the funniest thing ever to occur at any birthday celebration of my life, and may well remain so for the rest of my days.

I love a botched cake.

[helenarth]

one time me and some pals spotted one of those big cookie cakes in a store. it was done up with red icing and little X's for kisses and in the middle it said

No One Like You

now, it took us a while to realise it meant "(there is) no one like you". at first, we all parsed it as a botched "no one like(s) you"

for ages after when we'd wind each other up we'd declare "NO ONE LIKE YOU ☹️👎"

[itseasytoremember]

I just feel like it's important to post the Sacred Texts

[jabberding0]

Wei Weaving is a Chinese artist

[pragnificent]

This is Money Snake. She only appears every 312 years. 

If you reblog her picture within the next twenty-five seconds you will have good luck and fortune for the rest of your life. 

[thingsamylikes]

I reblogged her late last year and my 2024 has been very satisfying work-wise and (secure enough to not stress out) money-wise so far. Money Snake is wise and good.

[doomdaysdecays-deactivated20251]

if i had to explain what tumblr is like i’d only show this

[the-moonbug]

No one seems to be acknowledging the far funnier element of this, which is, that when you go to the commenter’s account, you find out they are actually fucking roleplaying as a sexually repressed skeleton and jjst really committed to the bit while everyone in the reblogs is talking about how much they hate minors or whatever. thank you kharak the skeleton servant of the almighty lich king

[nerdragons-hoard]

if i had to explain what tumblr is like i’d only show this

[its-funnytwittertweets]

[dragonpyre]

[sevastiel]

[importantdogimages]

[cherryhatter-deactivated2015072]

KICK THE CAN!

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.

[visibun]

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

[drtanner]

And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!

[dostoyevsky-official]

i was also thinking about how sensual the snow was, how suggestive the curves of the snowbanks appeared, their softness

[alterugdalf]

[datasoong47]

[linguisticparadox]

[r5h]

Relevant XKCD: https://xkcd.com/2609/

[bralsra-deactivated20250108]

theres ALWAYS a relevant XKCD for everything huh

[poetrylesbian]

good news everyone

[5tarplayboy]

[chupalacrica-lambeelculo]

Spongebob & Patrick

[throathole]

?

[segamascott]

what's not clicking

[thesaltofcarthage]

A card for very specific fandom niches

[just-shower-thoughts]

An infinite number of $1 bills and an infinite number of $20 bills would be worth the same

[popinloopy]

[korolevx-deactivated20180128]

they’re actually worth nothing because you’ve devalued the currency so much

[magnechamp]

nothing is still the same as nothing

[korolevx-deactivated20180128]

Fucker