⊹₊ ❤︎ asunnysadbabe ❤︎₊ ⊹

New blog for FFs! Classic 2014 wattpad inspired stories! 18 James and Juhoon bias.

[justformyjames]

Missing the debut era when they were babies and everything was sunshine and lollipops

Everything was so colorful, and they were really pushing the youth teenager vibe!!! Martin was punk, James was more goofy and trending online everyday, the youngest members were silly but shy. BRING ME BACK.

I love them now of course, at any stage, I’m just nostalgic guys.

[justformyjames]

Yes my bias changes once a week but that is not a crime

[justformyjames]

Bro as an older ff reader I hate the text message format.

[justformyjames]

Can someone please do an edit of James to Ferrari by the Neighbourhood

[justformyjames]

What Do You Want From Me? - JAMES CORTIS FF

Bad Boy James x Fem Reader

16+ (mentions of cigarettes, masturbation and getting turned on. NO nudity or explicit sex, some violence, blood and bruises mentioned - not sexually inflicted)

Word Count- 5,613

Song- Yellow Box - The Neighbourhood (highly recommend listening while reading!!)

Synopsis- Moving from the big city to a small town did not excite you, but falling in with the town bad boy might change things, especially when he befriends your brother.

PSA- I took a lot of creative liberties, his hair is different (long like FaSHioN era except black) and he has multiple tattoos, and he's taller (sorry James lol!). James is a normal boy in a small town not an idol.

———————————————————————

Moving from the big city to a dingy small town was never something you had in your plans. New friends… new boyfriend… new everything. Before you left you broke up with your boyfriend that you practically knew since birth. Long distance just made no sense. Needless to say, you were infuriated with your parents. 

Driving into the town it was rainy and dead, all the houses were brown or black. You were terrified to start at a new school but this is all your parents can afford after your dad losing his job. 

You settle in your room and get your outfit and books ready for your first day off school tomorrow.

——————

You wake up to rain pattering on the window sill. Of course it’s raining the first day, it hasn’t stopped since you got to town. 

You pack up your bag and get dressed, a black hoodie with dark wash skinny jeans and black converse. You brush your hair up into a bun and do your makeup lightly with bb cream, blush and light mascara.

You leave your house and head to the bus stop at the end of the street, #icanteven by The Neighbourhood filling your ears. You climb onto the bus avoiding the staring eyes. Everyone has a friend, you never felt more like an outsider. You slam into the first empty seat you see and place your backpack next to you, blocking anyone from ruining your peace. 

The ride is bumpy and feels like an eternity, you finally arrive at the school. 

You stand up the second the bus stops and pick up your bag, immediately you notice how light it is and you open it up. You forgot your computer. The one thing you need most. Your heart drops, you feel like an idiot.

You get up and join the line of other students leaving. You follow them to the door and immediately step aside pulling out your map to see where your first class is. It's loud and there’s way more people than you anticipated, how can this many people fit in this tiny school? 

Staring at your map you walk back into the crowd when someone bumps you making you fall against the wall. 

You struggle to comprehend the situation, already so overwhelmed. 

“Hey… HEY! Are you good?.” A husk full voice practically yells at you making you look up realizing the situation.

You see a boy. He is towering over you blocking the light, you can barely see his face beyond his sparkling brown eyes and black slicked back hair. He’s staring at you, reaching out a hand. 

“Yo, are you alive in there?” He asks again. 

His friend with bleach blonde tips laughs, grabbing the boy's shoulders, licking his lips, smirking at you. 

“Freshmen haha” They both look at each other and chuckle, when he looks back at you he stops laughing and grabs your arm helping you up before his friend notices, he quickly jumps back into the crowd. You stand up against the wall and see him disappear, his head and broad shoulder stuck out over the crowd, he was the tallest there. Right before he turns the corner he looks back at you making your heart skip. 

You scoffed and lightly shook your head reminding yourself how high school boys are, and tried to forget him… it didn’t work. 

Eventually you make your way to your first class. You turn into the classroom door and right when you enter, at the last desk in the corner he’s there. Legs crossed up on the desk, arms crossed in his leather jacket making his pectoral muscles pop. He’s balancing a pencil on his noise, with a girl laughing at him desperate for his attention. He drops the pencil and she bursts out in laughter, grabbing his arm scooting herself closer. He was smirking mischievously at her  when he caught your gaze making you quickly turn, sneering at the engagement as you walked towards the front.

Holding your books against your chest. You sit at the front and pull out your phone texting your dad to see if he's still home in time to bring your computer. Luckily he can in the next 20 minutes. 

The class goes by slowly when the teacher gets a call.

“y/n?”

Your eyes shoot up unaware if he’s calling you even though he says your name. 

“y/n… is there a a-“

“Yes, that’s me, I'm sorry. What is it?” 

“Computers in the office.” He points to the door and you shoot up scooting your chair loudly, embarrassing. 

“Okay, thank you.”

You turn around and immediately notice he’s not in his chair. 

God why do I even care, you think to yourself. Just then as you’re leaving, eyes glued to his chair, you aren’t paying attention to where you’re walking, before you have time to look someone grabs your arms stopping you bumping into you. You gasp lightly quickly turning. It’s him. 

“Relax freshmen… you really have to learn to watch where you’re going?” 

“That’s enough James.” The teacher yells.

“Don’t touch me” You shake out of his arms and push past him, his hands shoot up in a defenseless pose and the class oohs loudly making him smirk watching you walk down the hallway angrily. 

You make it to the office. 

You let the lady at the front desk know about your computer and she goes to fetch it. 

You hear the side door slowly creak open and don’t look over to avoid eye contact. 

You hear someone squeeze next to you brushing your arm. 

Why did they have to sit there out of all the seats? You think to yourself. 

In your peripheral vision you see black converse with black jeans, no it couldn’t be.

“Hey freshmen” 

You roll your eyes and sigh deeply.

What is this guy stalking me?

Your hand covers your face on the side he’s sitting and you stare forward. 

“I’m not a freshman.” you say quietly 

“What was that?” 

“I'm not a freshman.” You take your hand down crossing your arms. 

“Oh okay… I’m too used to calling you that now though so… freshmen it is” 

You try not to give him any attention, not even flinching knowing that’s exactly what he wants. 

The front desk lady returns at that moment and stops right when she turns the corner. 

“Really? It’s the first day, what could you have possibly done?” She says looking at him as you hear him lightly chuckle. 

“I just wanted to come say hello.”

That makes you smile slightly. He stands up and places a hand on her shoulder towering over her. He grabs your laptop, you stand up.

“That’s mine” 

“Yea I know, here” He hands it to you and you can really see him full on now, his hazel brown eyes and light stubble on his chin, thick black eyebrows and black hair lightly draped over his eye. 

You grab the laptop and he doesn’t let go. You are beyond irritated and stop and stare at him blankly. 

He seemed actually afraid for a second and motions it towards you when you grab it. 

You leave the office and he follows behind you. A girl standing outside the office lights up at the sight of him.

“I knew I saw you in there!” She exclaims with her bubblegum voice. Her hair is blonde and her eyes are so blue they’re glowing. 

“Yea… hey I-“ Before he can get the words out she’s hooking arms with him and walking down the hallway. They walk past you and he stares at you with hopeless eyes, slightly embarrassed. 

You feel a tinge of something. Not sure if it’s anger or resentment.

No way, was I feeling jealous…? 

You walk slowly back to class and find your seat at the front. 

He doesn’t return the rest of the class, and you don’t see him the rest of the day. You make friends and get comfortable forgetting about his existence all together. You get home eventually and feel at ease with the day. Walking down the sidewalk near your house and seeing a black Chevrolet Impala in the driveway. 

Oh god who could be here right now? 

You met enough people today. 

You walk through the door and up the steps immediately you see his back. His broad shoulders busting out of his leather jacket, and his slicked back shiny black hair. 

You have to control yourself from audibly laughing in shock. He turns around and you see your brother laughing at something he said. 

No. 

Out of all the people he has to be friends with? 

“Freshmen?” 

“What the hell are you doing in my house?”

“Yo don’t be rude I invited him… what? Do you know each other?.” Your brother questions

“No.” Before the conversation can continue you rush upstairs ignoring anything that may slip out of his mouth. 

He shrugs and your brother continues talking. 

You get to your room and close the door. You chuckle slightly at the humor of the situation, how crazy this is seriously.

You open your computer and try to forget he’s down there but you’re hungry and thirsty and… a little curious about him. 

You slip downstairs to see them both playing video games. They’re so immersed they don’t see you come down and you can easily slip in and out. 

Your mom is in the kitchen preparing dinner. 

“Have you met your brother's new friend?” Your mom mumbles not making eye contact focused on her task.

“Barely… I don't know.” You say trying to diffuse the conversation.

She leans forward whispering in your ear from behind, “He’s pretty cute.” 

“Mom!” You say loudly, burning holes in her face with your angry glare. 

“Okay okay I am just saying, he seems nice.”

You are now halfway out of the kitchen, already on the first step with a glass of water. 

“He’s an asshole.” You skip up the steps quickly

Before going back upstairs you look between the steps. He took his jacket off and he’s wearing a black t-shirt. His back is flexing through his shirt as he plays. So immersed you don’t even realize your staring. He loses in the game which causes him to throw his head back exposing his adams apple. When his head comes back down he catches your gaze. He smiles at you shyly, and winks. Too awkward to reciprocate, you roll your eyes flickering your lashes and you skip up the stairs.

You wake up late in the night thirsty. 

You are now in your night clothes. Shorts so short your butt peaks out a little and a cropped tank top. You creep downstairs and it’s pitch black. You turn into the kitchen and immediately hit someone making you scream. You trip and fall back when he grabs you and almost falls on top of you. 

“What the fuck what the-“ you scramble out of his arms unaware of who is holding you. 

“Relax, it’s me, it's me.” 

He stands up and switches the warm kitchen light on and it glints behind him making you squint barely able to see his face from the backlight. 

He puts his arms up in a defensive position and in his black t-shirt you can see his biceps clearer, a tattoo peaking out of his shirt sleeve, his veins running down his forearms. You gulp at his physique not wanting to stare, you look away. 

“Wooow y/n look what you were hiding under that hoodie.” He slowly walks towards you.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” You practically yell. He didn't stop, your back is inches from the wall. 

“Why do you always have to be so intolerable…” He's so close you can feel his breath on your forehead, you flinch, “why are you still here?” You whisper looking up at him with your doe eyes, you look more innocent now with no makeup, making his heart beat. It is silent for a moment and you see him lick his plump lips, repeatedly looking you up and down. His chest rising, busting out of his shirt at every breath. He puts one arm on the wall beside you, now in a corner you can see his bicep flexing and the full tattoo of a tree, the branches tracing up his arm like veins. You look down nervously and see his shirt riding up slowly on the side where he is lifting his arm, another tattoo peaks out of his underwear band, you wonder why he has a belt if it doesn't even hold his pants up. You feel a tingle in your womanhood at the sight of his veins coming up from the center of his pants, his V line peaking out, leaving little to the imagination. He’s turning you on and you hate it. It's so late you don’t feel like yourself, it would be so easy to let go. You gasp at the thought and he puts his other hand on your chin slowly tracing your jaw, his thumb finds your bottom lip rubbing it as it slowly enters your mouth you bite down gently. His mouth opens and he whimpers lightly at the pain. You close your mouth and he slips his thumb out making a kiss sound. You gulp and your mouth falls open, now panting softly, staring into his eyes. You are both desperate, longing, insatiably gazing at each other. His hand finds your waist and the other moves to the wall behind you trapping you completely. His body covers your vision and you are a mess blinded by the smell of his cologne and cigarette on his breath. He breathes into your ear slowly. 

“Go to bed.” He orders, pushing himself off the wall he turns around leaving you glued to the wall, panties soaked unable to move.

You want to cry at the residual longing you had for his touch. You were never the type of girl who got turned on by men, you hated them, especially high school boys, and you were never the type to do it with someone you barely knew. 

You wander up the steps weak in the knees and crawl back into bed. You sit there in silence, the only sound the faint ticking of your fan, the heat between your legs is eating you alive. Not being able to get the thought out of your head you do something for yourself. You grab your hairbrush from your nightstand and spend almost 30 minutes whispering and whimpering his name until you finish having the best orgasm you've ever given yourself as a virgin. Afterwards you sit up and hit yourself. 

What is he doing to me.?

——————

The next day you wake up and don’t want to leave your bed knowing he’s down there. You put on light wash distressed shorts and a black hoodie with your converse. 

You carefully walk downstairs trying to slip out for the bus. Your brother is sitting at the table alone… You don’t want to ask or he’ll make it seem like you have a crush, so you just say bye to your parents and head for the bus stop.

You got to school and tried to forget his existence but couldn’t stop your excitement of seeing him in the first period. 

You walk into the classroom and he’s there, his head down resting on his crossed arms, his jacket is on his chair, his arms are exposed, flexing. You notice his black leather braided bracelets, and his small black gauges. 

His girl toy is on her phone playing with the gum in her mouth. Gross. 

You walk to the front and sit down paying attention, forgetting about him slowly. 

The bell rings and before you can even turn around he’s out the door. 

He doesn’t acknowledge your presence at all, never looking back once in the hallway. 

I mean I don’t know what I expected.

The day goes by just like the one before. You exit the building and before you get on the bus you see him sitting on the curb in front of his car smoking. Of course, if we didn’t already know he was bad. You climb onto the bus and don’t look back. 

You get home and your brother is leaning on the kitchen island 

You exchange looks and head upstairs. 

“Hey… can I ask you something?”

“Yea…” You turn around and walk back down a few steps. 

You guys never talk seriously.

“Did something happen between you and James?”

“What… no, nothing I just bumped into him in the hallway the first day and it gave me a bad impression I guess.”

“Okay good well… that’s off limits okay he’s… he’s not a good guy.” 

“Well then why are you friends”

“We’re not anymore after I saw- just… don’t talk to him okay.” 

What did he see? No… did he see you two in the kitchen that night..? No way.

“Maybe he should stay away from me.” You quickly turn up the steps irritated. 

Who is he to tell me who I can or can’t talk to?

——————

Days go by and he basically pretends you never met. Even when you two are side by side in class for assignments he ignores you. 

Did my brother say something?

About a week later after your first test you completely knock out right when you hit the bed. Suddenly you are holding his hand and he’s smiling at you. He’s taking off his shirt and you are climbing into bed together. You are tasting his kiss and his fingers are gripping your waist. You kiss his soft skin and he says he loves you. 

You wake up in a cold sweat. 

You open your eyes. Your hair is a mess and your mouth feels dry. You sit up feeling out of your body, never before have you felt this level of ego death. You don’t feel like a living being. Everything changed in that moment. Seeing him treat you that way… kiss- 

God why did my brain have to do this to me, you think to yourself. 

You pull your knees to your chest and push your hair back. Your sheets are smooth and the moonlight is drawing boxes on your bed from the window pane. Then suddenly something passes the window. Your heart drops and you step off the bed backing towards the closet terrified. Maybe it was a bird… or a plane or maybe a branch fell. You are practically shaking as you step towards the door when you see it. Someone is leaning towards the bottom of the window trying to open it. You quickly run up to the window and hit it. 

“Hey! Get out!” You yell at the top of your lungs. 

He looks up and you see his eyes peak from under his hoodie, he blinks as the rain prevents him from looking up. It’s James. 

You feel a chill completely covering your body. He stands up and is taller than the window, his face unseen. 

You question opening it but there must be a reason he came here. 

He leans down and you hear him mumble something as he points in at you. 

You notice something is off about his face. It looks dark… or dirty. His eyes look different, it gives you an unsettled feeling and you slowly back up. He stares at you not even blinking at this point. You are more scared than before you knew it was him. 

You slowly creep forward into the moonlight and turn the window knob to open it. 

He backs up letting it open and leans down barely being able to fit, he slips in the room. He stands up brushing your side, shaking off his leather jacket and throwing it on your bed. You are still leaning down winding the window closed, when you turn you hit chest to chest, immediately getting flashbacks of the night in the kitchen.  

He is panting and his hair is dripping on you, but you don’t even move, captivated by his gaze. His lips are wet and plump, he whips his hair back, getting you wet making you close your eyes and gas, he lets out a breathy laugh smirking, his white teeth standing out in the dark. He pushes his hair back and you see his adams apple take form, his neck veins more pronounced than ever in the moonlight. Only half his face in the light, you look closely, noticing he isn’t dirty, he's bruised. His right eye is surrounded and the eyeball itself looked bloodshot. You involuntarily cover your mouth quickly at the sight. 

You feel an overwhelming urge to cry. You may hate him right now but you are too empathetic. 

“What… What happened.” You whisper. 

You reach up to touch it and he grabs your wrist making a loud slapping sound pulling it away. He doesn't let go pulling your hand down. 

He stares at you.

“Nothing.”

There’s a silence

“I had nowhere else to go.”

“Why didn’t you go to Malcolm's room?” (your brother) 

“He doesn’t have a roof.” He slightly chuckled, but you didn’t flinch, you just stared sadly. Your heart ached and your eyes swelled with tears. 

“What's wrong?” Immediately his expressions changed to a worried look as he squinted his eyebrows and turned his head. 

“James… what really happened…” You ask slowly afraid of his reaction 

He scoffed and said “Look if you’re just gonna ask-” His voice suddenly got louder and at the fear of someone hearing him your hand shot up covering his mouth. He winced at the pain backing up involuntarily hitting your dresser and bumping into the wall. Your mirror fell on the desk making a sound so loud it seemed like it would wake up the whole neighborhood. Your eyes widen and your mouth tenses. 

“What the hell…Why did you do that?!” he says.

“Why did I do what? You’re the one throwing yourself across the room!”

You are both now screaming in a whisper. 

You hear footsteps coming down the hall, you both look at the door then each other. You run to the closet but it’s jammed. 

“It won’t- It won’t open!” you yell helplessly. 

“Here let me.” He nudges you, trapping you in the corner. 

He grabs the door pulling it when you can see his bruised knuckles, He pulls at the door whimpering from the pain wincing every time he tries to open it. 

“Stop.” you say involuntarily. 

“I almost got it don’t-“

“Just stop-“ You say tears falling down your face, overwhelmed by the situation, you yell out the words and he stops immediately. Staring at you in shock. 

“What did I-“ the hallway light fills the room and your dad stands in the doorway seeing you and James cramped in the corner. He blocks his eyes from the bright light, the sound of his leather jacket filling the room. 

“What the hell is going on?!”

“Dad I just-“

“Why is he in your room and why does he look like that-  y/n?!”

“Just give me one second please-“  

You close the door behind you and go out into the hall with your dad. 

“He just came here okay he’s… I don’t know what happened to him.”

He shakes his head, sighing.

“No y/n this is extremely inappropriate you can’t have a boy sneaking in your room at night-“

“Dad he needs help-“

He stomps past you swinging the door open to the sound of rain filling the room from the open window. 

You run past him. 

“Well I'm-“ Before he can finish his thought you cut him off.

“Just go-“

You close the door locking it, you hear a car engine starting and you run to the window, leaning out you get practically soaked from the rain, you see him drive away. You close the window and collapse on the floor. Immediately you go on your phone to call him but you never got his number. 

You just have to wait until tomorrow… Maybe he’ll come to school. Probably not. 

You wake up in the blue-lit room and get ready quickly catching the bus like every other mundane morning, however this morning your heart is heavy and you don’t even say goodbye to your father. The bus seat is cold and it’s still wet from last night so your converse are soaked. 

You cuddle next to the window, closing your eyes until you arrive at the school. 

You exit the bus and see it. His dodge is parked in the same spot as always. You feel your heart lift. For the first time you are excited to see him. Then suddenly from the back door you see him exiting the school building. 

He has a girl stapled around his waist, his arm on her shoulder. 

You stop in your tracks. You’re furious. God… you cried for this guy, you worried about him you- fuck he doesn’t even care. 

Why does he never care? You don’t even want to enter the building, but you have no place else to go. 

First period he never comes, his seat sits empty in the back when you leave you see his bitten up pencil and graffitied backing of his desk. 

The day feels lonelier than usual and goes by quickly. You don’t stop thinking about him for a second. 

You enter your last period of the day. Right when you walk in your teacher waves you over. 

“Your dad called and you’re good to go to the office for your doctor's appointment.”

You tried to hide your confusion, maybe your dad was picking you up early?

“Okay sounds good.” You play it off and leave the class. You walk towards the entrance and see him through the pixelated glass. You open the door and you’re right, he’s leaning against his dodge hands in his leather jacket smirking. 

You stop walking, letting the door slam behind you.

“Hi.” He says innocently. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” You snap back. You are both standing far away from each other waiting for the other to make the first move.

“I am picking you up, come on.” He opens the car door waving for you to enter. 

“I am not getting in there.” You turn around to open the school door but of course, it's locked. 

He walks up behind you leaning his head on your shoulder. 

“Come on, stop fighting it.”

You grunt and turn around getting in the car slamming the door. The smell is strong of cologne with a slight stench of cigarettes. He opens the door, slipping into the leather seat. 

He starts the ignition and you awkwardly stare forward feeling his eyes burn into your side. He rolls down the windows and the golden hour flickers through the car walls as he starts driving down the tree lined streets. 

Rock played softly through the speakers and he drove faster than you were comfortable with. 

“So we never really talked about that night.” You say playing with the hem of your shirt.

“Oh yea that was crazy… I didn’t know you were such a freak.” He says straight faced. 

You slowly turn towards him watching his mouth slowly turn up. 

“No, you asshole!” You hit his arm and he winces, rubbing the place you hit. 

“The night in my room?” You ask softly.

He turns his head shaking it, frowning pretending he doesn't know. 

“Oh god just forget it.” You stare out the side window clenching your jaw and crossing your arms. He looks at you concerned, like he wishes he didn't joke but he's too afraid to start the conversation again. If you just pried for one more second he would've given in. 

You got to a red light and he grabbed a cigarette out of the glove compartment where you saw condoms, making you cringe and look out the window in disgust. 

He pulls the lighter up and you grab the cigarette, throwing it out the window. 

“What the fuck!” He yells loudly, exhaling deeply, looking at you like you’ve never seen him before. He was actually mad. It made you laugh.

“You think that’s funny… yea?” He stared at you smirking and the light turned green. 

“It's a green genius.” 

He doesn’t look away and doesn’t press the gas. You lean forward looking in the mirror at the cars lined up behind you. 

“James!”

He isn’t smiling anymore and his eyebrow is curving looking at you. One arm on the steering wheel and one on the arm rest, he’s staring blankly. 

“Get me a new one.” 

“What… no fuck no.. JUST DRIVE.” At this point people were beeping repeatedly. The road was so narrow they couldn’t go around. 

“I’m not going until-“

“God fuck-“ You reach into the glove compartment and put it on your palm out for him. 

“Light it.” 

You stare at him through the sound of the beeping cars. 

You reach for the lighter and he puts the cigarette in his mouth leaning towards you. 

You put the lighter up and it sparks breathing a flame. 

Suddenly the car window next to you shatters making you scream loudly and duck. 

He tosses the cigarette, putting the car in park, aggressively he throws his door open and gets out of the car in an instant. You watch him stomping towards the man that punches your window in, still in shock, when the man suddenly punches James, making you yell his name in fear. 

“James!”

He stumbles for a few seconds, he then plows into the man taking him down, hitting him with  repeated blows, his fists going back and forth, there is so much blood you can’t even make out his face. 

You are out of the car at this point. 

“James stop…James STOP.” You are crying, on your knees leaning on the car covering your eyes. 

He leans back on his knees panting, legs on either side of the man who is now knocked out. He stands up grabbing your arm pulling you up like a rag doll, you’re sobbing at the sight of the man, tears soaking your face. He opens the back door pushing you in, one hand on your head, you notice his nose bleeding down his jaw.

You debate opening the door and leaving, but you’re afraid. 

He gets in the front seat and starts driving, you jerk back in the seat at the first press of the gas. 

He picks the cigarette off the ground swerving, making your breath hitch. 

You have never been more afraid for your life. He puts the lighter up and quickly lights the cigarette blowing the smoke up, resting his hand with the cigarette behind the headrest in front of you. He places the cigarette in his mouth and puts his arm back out touching your knee rubbing up your leg as he drives with his left hand not looking back once. 

You shiver at his touch but quickly give in, the only thing calming you right now is his touch, which is stupid considering he is the very thing that made you afraid in the first place.

His knuckles are bleeding leaving small marks of blood on your leg, you look away in disgust. 

He quickly swerved into a park and stopped on the grass getting out, slamming the door, walking towards the water. 

You get out feeling like a fool following him. 

He leans towards the pond and takes his jacket off, throwing it in the grass, picking up water and washing the blood off of his mouth, pushing his hair back, water soaks his shirt, gluing it to his abs. He rubs his hands and you see the cuts on his knuckles making you flinch, you cover your mouth looking away. 

“It’s not as bad as it looks… don’t worry.”

Skin is hanging from his knuckles and the bleeding won’t stop. You take a thin scarf out of your bag and give it to him. 

“i’m not cold but… thanks-“

“No wrap it- here.”

You kneel down and rip the scarf into two slowly wrapping it around his hand. He looks up at you, noticing your dried tears from earlier the mascara leaving marks. He pulls his hands out from your grasp and rubs under your eyes wiping the residue, making you tear up even more, it was only a second but it felt like an eternity staring into his eyes. You shift from your knees onto your hip, your faces are inches from each other. His hand pushes your hair out of your face while the other rests on your thigh. You grab his hand from your face and continue wrapping it. You aren’t doing very well. 

“Let me do it… It’s okay.” 

He finishes wrapping it tightly.

“All better.” He puts it up to your face smiling slightly, trying to make you feel better. 

He looks out at the water and something foreign that you’ve never felt before pulls you in, making you kiss him quickly on the cheek. He turns wide eyed like a puppy, the most innocent he’s ever looked. He grabs your face and places a delicate kiss on your lips, leaning his forehead on yours. You pull his hands off and shift backwards. You suddenly come back to your senses. You remember who he is and his reputation. 

“What-“ He says concerned. 

“You need to take me home.”

“Yea oh… okay yea”

He gets up slowly and you want to help him but you’re scared of what you’ll do if you get close to him again. 

To be Continued…

[justformyjames]

When your Heart and Mind Don't Align

PART 3 Read - Part 1 Part 2

James and Martin Love Triangle

Reader x James Reader x Martin, Cursing, Kissing

16+

Warnings: Some touching in certain areas, nothing goes in anywhere, some moaning, I wouldn't say smut but it gets spicy.

Synopsis- Y/N decides to speak to James herself and make a final decision.

He held you in his arms feeling a sense of achievement but soon realized the news about James hurt you so hard because you loved him so deeply.

It was a bittersweet feeling.

——————

You wanted to run away and leave everything behind. Suddenly the choice was so clear. The moment James was out of the question you realized just how highly you held him. Martin was a safe option and easy to fall for. He liked you first and it seemed he would do anything for you. There was an unspoken, relentless, and confusing love surrounding James. Ever since you bumped into him that day in the hallway, ever since you recognized his scent for the first time, you touched his bare skin, you’ve seen a side of him that felt reserved for you. You didn’t want anyone else having him, but obviously he had different plans.

——————

You were unsure if you should even stay in the room James bought. It felt harsh to just leave when he already paid for it, but what was that compared to how he’s apparently been treating you.

You needed to talk to him, to confront him. You were also terrified to see him again. You could never take confrontation and thought you would give in, especially considering his power over you.

You write everything in a journal, scared to consult with anyone, not wanting anything to cloud your judgement. You carry it with you everywhere and all the places you were going the last few days it never left your side.

You decide to call a friend you know who moved to LA for a place to stay as a last resort.

She accepts and you quickly start to drive to her place.

Right when you get into your car an unknown number calls you, you know who it is.

He calls twice.

Again.

And again.

At a stoplight you pick up your phone quickly, before you can text him he floods your phone.

You scoff at the texts but also feel your stomach turn. An urge pulling you to turn back to the hotel and run into his arms. It’s so easy to give in.

You quickly turn back to the hotel, embarrassed at yourself, feeling like you are giving in. This is right though, you need to face him, you need to mend this.

You enter the elevator and watch the numbers go up with a quiet ding. It stops on the 3rd floor… your room is on the 12th. The door opens and Martin stands in the middle looking down. You are immediately shocked unsure how to react.

Right when he lifts his head and makes eye contact you smile naturally without a second thought. He doesn’t say a word and just stands next to you smirking.

You are now arm to arm. He’s wearing a tank top and his bangs are stuck to his forehead. You think he was just in the gym because his cheeks are red and his arms look more lean, you look down to his forearm, his veins are more visible than before making your heart beat. His pinky starts to link around yours until you are holding hands. Still both avoiding eye contact as you stare at the ceiling. You look to your left and eventually make your way to his face where he is already staring at you. He isn’t smiling now, he picks up your hand and kisses the back of it locking eyes with you. You reach for the elevator button and press floor 11. You were on floor 10 at that point.

“It's 12.” He says.

“I know.” You say gently stepping back to the wall next to him not letting his hand go.

The door dings open and you step out.

You both stand looking at each other hand in hand as the doors close.

“Look there’s something I have to tell you… I was about to go talk to James…” You say looking down at his fingers.

“Y/n are you sure… maybe you should just text him… or I could talk to him for you?”

“no-“ you quickly blurt out “no… I need to clear things up.”

“I mean there’s not much to clear up…” He scoffs, letting your hand go and scratching the back of his head, avoiding eye contact.

“I mean I want to…” you hesitate.

“To end it.” He finished for you.

“You’re ending it… okay.” He walks up putting his hand on your cheek.

He seems different. You are starting to lose sight of who is right and looking at his cocky grin, he seems so sure you’re his, like he’s won. Looking at him now you could see him lying. He didn’t look like the Martin you thought he was.

“Just give me a minute okay.” You let go of his hand and remove the other from your cheek.

He sighs and throws his hands down.

You walk into the elevator and watch him as it closes, you lose sight of him and suddenly his hand reaches in stopping it from closing.

“y/n just… don’t believe everything he says okay he’s… just… trust me okay.”

Why did he care so much… I could hold my own, you thought. What was he so afraid of?

The door dings and you see the long hallway. Instantly you see his feet sticking out from the wall framing your hotel door.

He was sitting against your door.

His head resting on his arms crossing on top of his knees.

You stand in front of him not sure if he noticed you, or if he was ignoring waiting for you to make the first move.

“Hi.” You say almost whispering as your nerves were preventing your words from coming out.

He sits silently, then slowly lifts his head up at you.

“Hi.” He says gently. He seemed like a puppy looking up at you with his dark chocolate eyes. His black hair was tussled and he had bags under his eyes. When he lifted his hand to smooth his hair it looked bony and dehydrated. He didn’t look well. Was this all because of me…? You thought to yourself. How could someone that does this all time get so affected? Nothing made sense.

“James… I'm so sorry.” As the words slipped out of your mouth, you instantly regretted it.

He reached his hand out and you cup your hand into his like a puzzle piece. He gently pulled you and you fell to your knees. His legs flattened and you crept towards him placing the side of your head to his chest, his arms wrapped around your body as you gently laid between his legs wrapping one arm around his waist. He kissed the top of your head and you closed your eyes. His thick black sweatshirt swallowed you warmly and you dug your nose into his chest. Curving your knees into a fetal pose, he pet your head softly.

“I don’t know what they told you about me… but I know how I feel about you and I don’t need to prove that to anyone except you… please just love me.” He says in a deep whisper, groaning the words.

You forgot everything because you didn’t care to understand. You didn’t care to fight. Listening to your heart and your gut.

You closed your eyes and assumed James did as well. You slipped into a deep slumber.

——————

You wake up in James’ bed. The room was painted blue with the morning light and the sheets smelled like him… it was cold, familiar but also surreal. You pulled your hand up wiping your face noticing you were wearing his hoodie. The other side of the bed was perfectly made and the sheets were still tucked in. You dug your head into the smooth cold pillow inhaling him like a drug through the sweatshirt. The door creaked open. You were too tired to turn around, you closed your eyes not ready to face the day.

The light from the window disappeared and you knew someone was standing in front of you blocking the window. You hear the sheets untuck on the other side of the bed and feel the weight of someone stepping into the bed. His hand brushes your hair out of your face, and he slips under the sheets with you. You naturally bring your hand across his chest pulling yourself into him tucking your head into the crook of his neck. You wrap your leg around his and he pulls your knee up his body. It feels like you are one being at this point and you are fighting the urge to pass out.

You open your eyes gently and turn your head up and see him. He opens his eyes and meets your gaze. You both smile and he rubs your cheek

You sit up, flipping your hair out of your face.

He laughs at you, helping you brushing it back with his fingers stopping at your neck, holding you.

“Beautiful.” He whispers.

You reposition your pillow and it knocks your journal off the nightstand. You turn around picking it up, almost falling off the bed when he pulls you back up quickly.

“What is that by the way?” He says curiously.

“It’s my journal… I write everything in here.” You giggle slightly, flipping through it quickly.

“Can I read a page?” He asked, turning his head like a puppy.

“no!” You laugh at him, shocked he would even ask, knowing the things you have written would ruin your relationship.

You place it on the table and re wrap around his waist and tuck your head into his chest falling asleep instantly.

——————

You wake up and he’s gone again, you turn to see your journal is gone. You feel a chill go across your body. You check under the bed, the nightstand, now panting while ripping through the sheets. You leave the room and Juhoon is sitting on his phone.

“Where is James?” You demand.

“I don’t know? Chill… damn.” He says, pissing you off even more.

Before you leave you hear yelling. You open the door and it becomes clear. It’s James and Martin. You walk down the hallway and see Seonghyeon and Keonho both standing arms crossed outside the hotel room. They both scoff at you and look away visibly irritated. They’re arguing in korean, you can’t make out anything. You go to knock at the door, but you know that’s stupid. You reach for the handle and it turns. You stand for 5 seconds frozen in place absolutely terrified of what will come if you open the door. You move your arm without thinking and suddenly you’re standing in the doorway and they’re both looking at you. Martin is holding your journal. He starts walking towards you, so quickly your brain doesn’t even have time to panic, he puts the journal on your chest and you grab it before it falls. He doesn’t look at you once and leaves the room slamming the door behind him making you jump.

“What… happened.” you say slowly.

“I’m sorry I… it dropped again and I…” He pointed at your journal.

“you read it?”

“i’m sor-.”

“No. What did you… what happened here?” You asked angrily. Still half asleep.

“I saw what he said about me… the way he made you think about me… fuck y/n he lied… I don’t talk to girls i’m not… god I...” He laughed hysterically putting his hands on his head, “i’m not the guy he said I was… you have to believe me.”

You already knew Martin lied, but him betraying your privacy was something you couldn’t just ignore.

“Did… did he read this?” You ask out of breath.

“No… just… well y/n…”

“Oh my god… James… this is… I can’t believe you.” You stare at him blankly.

“Please you have to understand I didn’t mean to see it… it just opened to a page and I saw my name, y/n… I only read one page… and it was enough.” He said walking up to you with his hands in a prayer.

You stare up at him, stars in your eyes from your tears glossing your eyes. He takes you in his hands once again where you feel you belong most. Your face was meant to be held by him. You drop the journal and your hand climbs his face intertwining with his hair. You both stare at this point no words no kiss just feeling. He puts his forehead to yours, your noses almost touching. He sniffles lightly, his nose and eyes red. He blinks hard causing a single tear to run down his cheek under his glasses, you flinch kissing him quickly on impulse. You wipe the tear, he looked offended by you pulling back, yearning for more.

You reach for his jacket and start zipping it down, he grabs your hand.

“Maybe we should talk about-.” Before he can even finish you place another kiss on his lips, interlocking with his hand. He stares at you curving his eyebrows in a concerned gaze. You kiss his cheek and unzip his jacket slowly, completely.

He stands like a rag-doll staring at you while you pull it down his arms, throwing it away. He's wearing a black wife beater with black sweatpants. You reach down and pull his hoodie off your head revealing your black tank top, and shorts. You step towards him, your hands to your sides pressing your chest to his staring up at him. You slowly trace your pointer fingers up his arms until you reach his shoulders. Suddenly he leans down, picking you up, and wrapping you around his hips.

You kiss him crossing your arms behind his head, you exchange smiles. He places you down on the couch with your feet sitting on the edge while he's kneeling between them. You delicately remove his glasses, placing them next to you, when he leans in kissing you passionately. You run your fingers through his jet black hair placing one hand on his neck while he holds your legs above his hips, his fingers creeping up your legs under your shorts. He turns you on the couch so you're laying down longways. You grip him tightly with your legs while he slips his hands under your tank top holding your bare waist arching your back.

He slips from your hold and kisses you across your collar bones down your tank top meeting your bare stomach.

“Baby… calm down.” You say, as you grab his chin bringing him back up to your kiss preventing things from escalating.

He scoffs, biting his bottom lip.

“Y/N you can’t ask me to stop now.”, He slips a hand up your top between your breasts, grabbing your neck gently. He kisses along your jaw going up to your ear, biting your ear lobe.

“Can I touch you?” He breathes in your ear.

You whimper at his request, barely able to respond from the heat of the situation you stay silent. He slides his hands down the middle of your shorts making the button pop open. He stays above your underwear, putting pressure, suddenly causing you to moan loud. He stops all movement and he looks up at you hopelessly, like you have awakened something in him.

“Yes or no baby… yes or no… come on.” He asked whimpers the words out while still holding your neck, with his other hand now resting on your inner thigh waiting for confirmation. His breathing sends shivers down your spine while your back is arching uncontrollably.

“y… yes.” You barely get the words out.

He undoes your shorts zipper while one hand finds its way to your breast squeezing it making you gasp. He pulls back and sits up on his knees yanking your shorts off aggressively, smirking like an idiot. He throws them across the room then pulls his tank top off from behind over his head, tossing it, quickly climbing back on top of you. He stares intensely, holding eye contact when you look down to quickly see him slipping his thin fingers in your underwear...

Suddenly someone is banging on the door. Your eyes shoot open widely and you sit up on your elbows. His head whips back at the door.You can see his chest pumping in and out, and notice a sweat drip on his temple. He's still panting when he stands up to fetch his tank top. He slips it on and grabs your shorts putting your feet through them when you pull them up your body he leans forward, kissing you before heading to the door.

He opens it, peaking his head out blocking you from seeing. An unfamiliar voice starts speaking to him in korean... maybe his manager? Unsure you stand up and slip on your sneakers putting his sweatshirt back on.

You walk up behind him...

To be Continued…

That’s it’s for this one guys I kind of reached a writer's block lolol but I wanted to get this part out so here you go!

There might be a part 4 or i’ll just scrap ong….

[justformyjames]

i’ve got a burning desire for you baby

[justformyjames]

Writing the 3rd chapter right now guys… it’s gonna get a little crazy… here’s James being sexy to keep you fed.

[justformyjames]

When your Heart and Mind Don’t Align

PART 2 Read Part 1 here

James and Martin Love Triangle

Reader x James, Reader x Martín, Cursing, Kissing

14+ (Passionate Make out scene but all clothing stays on!)

Synopsis- Y/N deals with the after affects of her and James being exposed. Her heart still can’t decide between James or Martin, even though she learns something that will forever change how she sees James.

Kind of a filler episode I will probably make a part 3 which will be the end!

Word count - 3738

You wake up and check your phone immediately knowing you messed up.

“no no no no…” You whisper as you power on your phone waiting to check the time.

It’s 10 am… and you have 6 missed calls from your manager, probably saying how you missed your 7 am flight.

You slide down the wall and claw your hands through your hair.

“Great. Just great.”

You missed your alarm after you powered off your phone to silence everyone… I mean EVERYONE calling you. The night before dispatch released the post about you and James… and it’s been hell. You went through every emotion last night, eventually collapsing and falling asleep at 4 am.

You go through your notifications and see one call from an unknown number. Not gonna lie you were surprised more sasaengs didn’t somehow find your number.

You play the message behind the number…

“Y/N… I am so sorry… this is all my fault..” It’s James… it sounds like he’s been crying… he can barely get the words out.

“I don’t know what to do… Martin…

he… he won’t even look at me.”

Your heart starts beating at a speed you didn’t even know it could reach at a stand still. The guilt burns in your stomach and you slam your phone on the floor wanting to disappear.

You pull yourself together and realize you need to find a place to stay. You have to check out of your hotel so you move everything to your rental car.

You get two more calls from the unknown number and know who it is. Almost scared to answer and talk to him back and forth. Scared to face the reality of the situation.

You eventually park in front of the beach and call him back.

“y/n? i’m so glad you called… are you okay? Seriously are you okay?”

“yes… I mean i’m… i’m okay i’m yea i’m okay… don’t worry about me” you feel tears swell in your eyes which makes no sense because you didn’t feel like crying once since it happened, but the moment you hear his voice everything changes.

The call goes silent for a few seconds… a while.

“Hey… you still there?” He asks.

“yea… yes. I’m… I’m sorry” you respond.

“it’s okay you don’t have to be sorry for anything right now… “

he pauses

“y/n… I want to see you…”

his voice drops an octave and you feel your breathing skip a beat when he says your name. He makes you so shy.

“where” you say delicately.

——————

James sends you an address and you drive there expecting it to be somewhere private… secluded. it’s a hotel…?

You go up the elevator and knock on the room door he sent.

The door opens and your eyes shoot up… to see Juhoon.

“What… why are you here?” he says monotonously.

You gulp and hug your sides feeling small… embarrassed.

Why did he send me this address? What was he thinking?

“Look… I should honestly just tell you to leave”, You could tell he was uncomfortable.

“What …? Where’s James?” you said slightly stressed.

“He’s inside but… y/n… this isn’t a good idea James… he isn’t… just forget it… i’ll go get him”.

He sighs and closes the door. You stand still unable to move, not able to break your stare.

What the hell did he mean? You knew it wasn’t a good idea god anyone could tell this wasn’t a good idea. Unless he meant something else… is there something you don’t know? You began to spiral.

It takes so long you begin to worry someone is going to come down the hall and see you standing there like an idiot.

You slide down the wall and cross your legs as your body can barely even stand with the amount of sleep you got the night before. You close your eyes.

You are in and out of consciousness unable to tell what is a dream and what is real. The elevator dings and out walks Martin heading toward his room, he sees you and stops immediately. He quickly realizes you’re asleep… or at least he thinks you are. He kneels down to see your face. At first at the sight of you he was mad. He was betrayed, but seeing you so delicate, so gentle, and so peaceful… made him realize why he fell for you in the first place. He takes his hand and scoops your hair flipping it behind your head revealing your red cheeks with dried mascara tears. You see the light that your hair was blocking and it slightly wakes you, but you’re too tired to move and you just let him graze your face with his hand.

“I wish you liked me like I like you…” He whispers quietly.

You are still unaware if this is a dream or truly happening. He noticed you never removed your makeup from the night before and his heart ached even more realizing you didn’t feel for him how he felt for you. He liked you so much, but it was worthless.

The door opened and James waited, clearing his throat. Martin stood up and repositioned his jacket. He only made eye contact for a split second and walked on to his hotel room.

James knelt down in front of you glaring at Martin from behind.

He put his hand under your chin and his thumb grazed your bottom lip. He repositioned himself next to you and slipped one arm under your legs and one under your arms lifting you like a feather into the hotel room.

Luckily Keonho and Seonghyeon were with Martin so it was silent in the hotel room.

He kicked open his bedroom door and placed you down gently on the bed making sure to not wake you.

He removed your converse and slipped the blanket over you.

He went to leave the room when Juhoon entered seeing you. James put his hand on his chest stopping him from going in.

“I just need my-… okay.” Juhoon said giving up and turning back to the living area, not daring to start a fight with James. He quietly closed the door.

——————

You awake unaware of your surroundings immediately afraid when you look to your left you see James’ banana pillow and smile to yourself. You know exactly where you are.

Instead of leaving the room you text his number.

After seeing your good morning text he creeps into the room with a smile and slowly steps towards the bed.

You feel the most rested you’ve ever felt in your life. Your hair is a mess and your hoodie was swallowing you whole. He knelt down on the bed and put his hand on your knee.

“Hi” He says

“Hi” You say bright eyed, you felt like a child, like you needed him… he made you feel safe… he made you feel warm and like everything would actually be okay.

“Come here” You say barely getting the words out with your morning voice.

He climbs forward and sits next to you running his fingers through your hair. Your back twitches from the sensation and you smile at him. You grab his hand and bring it to your lips kissing his knuckles.

He stares for a few seconds before losing himself, he shifts his body toward you wrapping his hands around your face, leaning in kissing you slowly and passionately. It all feels too real and too scary to accept. He repositions his legs and pulls you onto his lap. Now wrapping around him he slips his hands up your back underneath your hoodie and you hold his face running one hand through his hair and keeping one rested on his cheek.

You pull back and look at him… really look at him, you don’t know how long you’ll have to memorize his face… you touch his lips with your thumb and trace his jaw… you feel a tear running down your face.

“y/n… why… stop please stop” he cups your face kissing you once.

“I can’t… I can’t because I know this isn’t going to last.” You burst out in full tears at this point collapsing on him, your head hitting his chest.

“you don’t know that” He whispers slowly.

“I know your life… I know your job I know that this isn’t a movie i’m not stupid” You sit up and snap back now slightly angry at his ignorance and childlike mindset. You stand up walking towards the door.

“why are you being like this…?” He stands up following you.

You only open the door an inch when he slams it closed pushing your arms down holding them against the door so you can’t move. You remember when you first met and can’t understand how things have moved so fast.

“Calm down.” He whispers, now towering over you.

He put his forehead against yours, panting trying to self regulate as you can feel your heart’s beating standing chest to chest.

You stare insatiably at his arm and slowly grab it, pushing his sleeve up to reveal his bicep. He stares at you with his mouth agape, completely entranced. You trace your finger along his forearm veins and interlock your fingers with his. He pushes you against the door with his body and kisses you once holding himself back. He kisses down your burning neck all the way to your collar bone leaning down and picking you up wrapping you around his waist. You never stop kissing him, he squeezes your thighs making you shiver as you grip him tighter with your legs making him groan. You both gasp between every kiss and you don’t know where to place your hands… on his face… in his hair… maybe under his shirt. Your fingers trace down the middle of his abdominal muscles, leading you to take his shirt off over his head. You kiss his chest up to his neck and jaw biting his lip. Making him kiss you hard.

“We… we have to stop.” You let out barely being able to catch your breath enough to form the words.

“I can’t… please don’t make me.” He groans.

You again sit forehead to forehead, still held up in his arms, he drops you onto your feet and you cup his face kissing him softly, sweetly, and gently… for the last time.

You pick up his shirt and dress him, keeping eye contact the entire time.

He reaches behind you and opens the door to reveal the empty living space.

“Juhoon went to sleep with the others so it’s just us, relax” He says calmly, guiding you out of the room.

“I don’t have anywhere to stay, I missed my flight this morning” you blurt out randomly.

“You can’t stay with me… but I can pay for a room here...”

“no that’s too much I mean… it would really… really help me.”

You lay on the couch and fall asleep in his arms for the rest of the night.

——————

You wake up in the freezing cold living room laying on the couch. Alone. The room smells like James’ cologne still and there’s a pillow under your head filling his absence.

You pick yourself up and look around. You can hear the AC quietly blowing, cutting the sharp silence.

You look through the hotel room and there’s nothing. Your phone is dead and you can’t seem to find a charger.

You go into the bathroom and clean yourself up in the mirror.

You leave the room quickly afraid someone else besides James will come in.

Slowly opening the door you look to your left, before looking you turn to the right and you collide with someone.

You gasp as your nose collides with his chest. You almost fall back and he grabs your arms catching you leaning against your body, when he accidentally steps on your shoe he lifts his leg which causes him to lose his balance… it was Martin.

Falling on top of you still holding your back preventing you from hitting the ground his knee lands between your legs and your faces are inches apart.

“Hi…” He says panting and straining at the awkward positioning.

You just stare at his big brown eyes and rosy cheeks that are spreading to his neck. His mouth is almost smiling but he’s too captivated, he can’t focus.

You look at his lips wondering when he is going to move but it doesn’t feel like this moment is going to end.

“what the fuck.” You hear a voice and before he finishes the phrase you see… it’s James. You look at him upside down as you’re still being held by Martin. Two seconds felt like an eternity. Martin drops you on your back, shocking you… it was only a few centimeters off the ground. He picks himself up rubbing his hands together trying to self soothe during the awkward situation .

“She fell… and..” he said

“Yea I… I… fell it was an accident…” You respond sitting up and resting on your knees facing him.

“it’s fine I was just… I was confused.” James says, clenching his jaw, staring at Martin. He didn’t blink once and it looked like he was about to bite his head off.

“Trust me there’s nothing happening…” You snap back quickly trying to prevent something they both would regret. This causes Martin to jerk his head back with a confused look.

You turn and look up at him… he avoids your gaze staring at the ceiling and turning around lazily, obviously irritated by the situation. He began walking back to his room. Something about him not caring made him the most attractive he had ever been. What was wrong with me?

James walks towards you grabbing your elbows but you aren’t looking in his direction… you continue to watch Martin walking away feeling like your heart was physically pulling you towards him. You feel like crying. The guilt is festering in your heart… you don’t know what to do anymore.

“Hey.” James says, causing you to quickly snap out of your daze. You turn towards him, almost touching his nose by how close he was. He doesn’t smile… He kisses you once… long… not in a loving way… in a claiming way… to assert his dominance… out of insecurity in fear of losing you… and you suddenly feel like a pawn in a game. Right when his lips leave your mouth the guilt returns.

“I got you the room, baby” He says. Making you blink when he says the word. Your heart flutters and maybe because you just woke up or maybe because of his proximity you can’t get a word out.

He’s holding your fingers now and you turn around looking for something, you yourself not even sure what.

You wish he didn’t leave… you wish he fought for your love… how could you expect that though… you can’t be mad he had self respect.

“y/n… what the fuck is going on…” He yells, throwing your hands down.

You turn towards him and say, “I think I just… I just need some time to be alone… this is all too much… I'm sorry it’s not you…”

It was him.

“I promise I just-“

“What was… *He stops and covers his mouth* … did all that mean nothing earlier? Why are you looking for him? He… he doesn’t want you, I want you. I need you. Why do I suddenly feel like you don’t… you don’t need me?.” He puts his hands on his waist unimpressed, staring at you through his glasses.

He walks past you brushing your shoulder.

“James… I-“ You turn quickly following him when he stops at a door. You watch him from behind, his broad shoulders shifting in his leather jacket. He opens the door and waves his hand for you to enter the room.

You stand in the middle of the hallway in front of the open door, staring at him breathing heavily. All you see is the back of his head as he holds the handle of the door open looking into the room waiting for you to enter.

“I’m not going in there.” You cross your arms. Looking around tapping your foot lightly.

He slowly turns his head looking at the ground then finds your legs until he meets your eyes.

He looks different… scary. Reminding you of the day in the studio when he acted cold around his members.

He slams the door making you jump.

He quickly walks towards you grabbing your hand, holding it he slams the keys into your palm. Almost standing chest to chest at this point his nostrils flare while he clenches his jaw staring down at you.

The whole time he is still holding your hand rubbing his thumb on your palm.

His eyes soften and his eyebrows curve into a pleading gaze. He opens his mouth, breathing softly and slowly moving forward. You put your hand on his chest stopping him for the first time.

“I can’t do this anymore. It’s too much”

He ignored you, placing his loose hand on your cheek wiping a tear you didn’t even feel forming. He leans in, his forehead touching yours.

“James… stop.” You assert, even though you know you have no true power over your feelings for him.

He breaths in deeply and pushes himself off of the wall away from you exhaling, licking his lips looking around.

He turns and walks away, not looking back. He looked like a man. For the first time turning you off completely by his nonchalance. He was unrecognizable.

——————

Hours later half awake you hear a knock at the door.

You brush your hair out of your face stumbling to the door. You open it and it’s… Seonghyeon?

“Hey sorry I… I didn’t mean to bother you” He says, clearing his throat.

“No no… it’s okay what’s going on?”

“I don’t want to be rude but… you need to leave James and Martin alone.” He pauses, catching his breath, “We went to the studio today and their stupid fight ruined the whole session. Just… just leave… I don’t know… find another hotel… find another group to torment.”

Your head pulls back at his blatant message. You gulp not knowing how to respond.

“I know you’re… you’re right. I was just leaving…” You say putting your head down.

You weren’t.

“Oh. Well… I'm sorry if I was… harsh.” He says.

“No no it’s okay you were right… I’m so… so sorry.” you put your hands in a prayer and sigh.

He raised his eyebrows, spreading a flat smile, slightly rolling his eyes, turning away.

Even though he is right you are slightly irritated by his sass and demeanor, staring him down as he walks away.

You follow him with your eyes as he opens his room one door down Martin and Keonho come out and you quickly hide behind the wall peeking out at the group. They walk away from your direction and you see Martin smile at something Keonho says and it makes your heart sting. He turns around completely and meets your eyes you quickly hide behind the wall knowing he saw you but praying he’ll keep walking.

“I… I forgot something. I'll just meet you guys outside okay” He says unconvincingly.

The members nod carelessly and enter the elevator.

You slide down the wall and lean your head down, wrapping your arms around your knees, taking a second before you leave.

“y/n?” You hear his gentle voice cut through the silence.

You don’t even lift your head scared to face him.

“You won’t even look at me?” you feel his voice creep closer to your ear.

His hand touches your knee and sends a chill down your leg.

You lift your head up slowly and see him kneeling down next to you inches from your face.

“I’m sorry.” You say defeated.

“This whole thing… it’s all my fault.” You add.

“Y/n you have no idea… I am not mad at you, please.”

You both stare at each other and he looks away for a moment irritated.

“Fuck I just… god y/n there’s something you don’t know about James…” He says hesitantly.

He looks down right when you make eye contact nervously.

“This isn’t the first time this has happened… you’re not the first girl he’s gotten with… every time we’re in LA… I mean… anywhere *he scoffs* there’s a staff or a… a random girl god I don’t even know where he finds them…” He stops and clears his throat.

“Look…he’s… he’s a player y/n.” He slowly looks back at you catching his breath with a sensitive gaze, scared of your response.

“That’s bullshit.” You say loudly pissed off at his attempt at pulling you apart. You feel your face getting red and your stomach turning.

You stand up leaning against the wall facing away from him, looking down the hallway not letting the words sink in.

“Y/n I don’t… I don’t know what to say.” He puts his hand on your shoulder.

You feel your tears begin again… you’re angry, annoyed but most of all… embarrassed. Martin wouldn’t lie… would he…? But more importantly, would James…?

You turn around and immediately find his waist wrapping your arms around him needing support before you collapse. He hesitates then places his hand on your head running his fingers through your hair… kissing the top of your head.

You look up at him, tears streaming down your face and he flinches at the sight, willing to go to war for you at that moment. He wipes your tears when you reach your hand up pulling his head down into a kiss. This felt right… This felt natural. You felt comfortable and for once your kiss didn’t carry guilt.

You release from the kiss and see his face… he doesn’t look like a little teenager anymore… he looks like someone you could fall in love with… suddenly everything is different.

You turn around to James’ door and inhale sharply.

Not sure what to believe though at this moment it seems easier to believe Martin. Knowing he’s younger, gentler and softer… of course James is a player. You see the way he acts on stage… his charisma… his body… he trapped you just like so many other girls. You feel stupid.

You turn back to Martin and place another kiss on his lips longer and stronger. This time feeling the fire you had with James and lack thereof with Martin. Even though you knew James was bad… fuck… he had control over you. As another tear fled down your face, you kept kissing him in hopes he wouldn’t notice.

You knew what was right… but it felt so wrong.

PART 3

Part 2! I kind of hate this but i’m new so go easy on me… thanks for reading!! lmk if you want more or should I js scrap this one? 🙈

[justformyjames]

When your Heart and Mind Don’t Align

James and Martin Love triangle

Reader x James , Reader x Martin , Cursing, Kissing

12+

My first ff that i’m posting on tumblr! i’m new to this so you guys gotta let me know what’s up!! Not new to writing just posting ffs on tumblr, thanks for reading!

synopsis- Basically you can’t choose between the good boy or the hot boy enjoy!

Word count - 2729

Part 2

You had heard about the new boy group all over different socials and even in the news.

You were a 19 year old trainee producer at the HYBE branch in LA and had produced a few times for different kpop groups, but never anticipated having the opportunity to even meet someone of this level.

Your manager was vague saying it was a kpop boy group and you would be working mainly with the oldest member.

You walk into the studio and are immediately intimated by the amount of men in the studio.

They all seemed very reserved and in their own world either on a computer or a phone, none of them even bother to look at you when you enter the room. As you scan the area you meet the warm eyes of a boy who was already watching and waiting for you to notice him.

You introduce yourself to the group of producers and shook his hand… who you learned was James throughout the session… you didn’t speak one word to each other. Only exchanging looks. You leave the studio and he skips past the group to get behind you.

“Hey… I’m James… i’m a big fan”

at first you didn’t realize he was speaking to you, you turn around to meet his gaze and he looks down shyly the moment you make eye contact.

Your back attaches to the wall and you let the group pass, “oh, it’s nice to meet you, you’re so talented… i’m definitely a fan as well now” you smile.

You begin to notice his sharp features, he adjusts his sweatshirt collar when you notice his arm, you look away quickly not wanting to stare. His veins were prominent and you could see his arm muscle flex against his chest as he tugs at the hoodie to loosen it.

He laughs at your comment, “Martin especially… one of my members is a really big fan he would love to meet you.”

He smiles but it doesn’t distract from his gaze which is deep and intimidating, he doesn’t look away the whole time he is speaking.

The last two people leave the studio in a laughing frenzy and as they pass one pushes the other who then hits james from behind and you two collide. He puts his arms up to avoid hitting you and they cage you on either side of your head. Suddenly it’s dark as he blocks the light and you can feel his breath on your forehead as you keep your eyes closed. You had put your arms up as well and they were touching his chest. Not even a second passes and he pushes himself off the wall and gives the men a glare. He pushes his hair back and pulls up his pants up, awkwardly adjusting… avoiding the moment. You laugh to yourself and he notices.

“i’m sorry that was a lot…” He says smiling, then covering his mouth.

“yea um…haha it was nice meeting you I look forward to the next time” you say and begin to walk away as he waves going the opposite direction.

You get into your car and scream quietly to yourself. You don’t fall for guys easily and it takes a lot for someone to surprise you… but you’ve never felt like this after meeting someone. You recall the moment when his nose lightly touched your forhead and you could feel his toned chest with your hands… you bite your lip and giggle.

——————

About a week later you go to the same studio. Stopping yourself from smiling praying you won’t show any sort of special likeness to him. You don’t want to embarrass yourself and whenever you like a guy you fumble over your words and this is a professional environment, you need to look put together.

You walk in the room and see the full group with James sitting in the corner with his head in his phone. Immediately the other members stand up and greet you.

“Hiii I am suchhh a big fan, i’m martin”

ahhh so this is who he was talking about.

He smiles widely and reaches out his hand out as he towers over you… he’s cute… in a baby puppy sort of way.

Each member introduces themselves the whole time your mind is blank and you are waiting for James to look at you. They form a line basically blocking James from seeing you, and you begin to wonder if he just doesn’t care or maybe he’s ignoring you…? He then appears nudging seonghyeon firmly not looking at him. Seongyeon gives him a wtf man kind of look as he cuts in and shakes your hand.

“Hey. it’s nice to see you again”, He says. He is much more mysterious and quiet this time around and you wonder why. The first time you met he seemed more cute and playful, now he looked way older compared to his other members. You smiled and shook his hand lightly muttering “yea… heh”

You begin working with the group spitballing ideas and they are surrounding you at the desk. Martin is talking your ear off about a new album you just produced and you guys are hitting it off pretty well. You don’t turn around once for James’ approval but there’s a pit in your stomach.

Why do I care so much about his attention?

You eventually turn around to face the rest of the group and James is knocked out sleeping.

You chuckle to yourself and how dumb you’ve been. Seeing him laying there, mouth open, eyes half closed, it made you realize how he’s just a man, and you forget about him for the rest of the session.

You eventually leave the room and the members wave saying goodbye… James still… knocked out.

*after you leave the room*

The door slams shut and James sits up in shock.

“oh… what did I miss… no did I miss the whole thing?” He says shocked.

All the members laugh barely awake as the session ran late.

“She is amazing… like dude wow”, Martin says exasperated. James turns his head quickly towards looking him up and down.

“yea we know buddy… someone’s got a crush”, Keonho remarked pushing his arm. James laughs slightly covering his mouth leaning back and going on his phone… uninterested in the conversation.

“nahhh… I mean I don’t know…” Martin replied.

“Hyung seriously she’s too old for you anyways… she would never go for a baby like you”, Seonghyeon says.

Martin laughs pulling his hoodie over his face in embarrassment. James stares at his black phone screen conflicted and annoyed that he missed his chance to talk to you. Also worried that Martin made a move… but he’ll never know.

——————

A week later there are a few days until you leave LA and you get a last minute phone call, saying one of the members wants to go over his verse, basically saying he wants to rewrite the whole thing. You are wondering why you were called considering you aren’t even the main person that handles writing but take it as a compliment and head for the studio.

You know exactly who it’s going to be and you are smiling the whole drive to the studio. You are also nervous and have no idea what you’re going to talk about. Just you and him for an hour alone. You’re sort of nervous.

You walk into the studio and are immediately shocked.

It was Martin.

You smile and successfully hide your disappointment giving him a slight side hug, you’ve always been a more touchy person.

You sit down and open your computer at the desk. He grabs a chair and wheels right next to you.

“so I… I just don’t like this whole part anymore I want to change it… it just… I don’t know it’s not for me…” Martin says.

“okay so what… what were you thinking?”

You two get lost in the song and work for around 30 minutes and then…

at one moment he reaches for your laptop and grazes your hand you shiver slightly at the touch of his cold hand… but he doesn’t let go.

Your heart drops… you don’t really know what to do in this situation.

He then picks up his hand and slowly removes a piece of your hair blocking his view of your face and tucks it behind your ear. You immediately grab his hand and hold it up.

“what are you doing” You can’t help but smile at his cute efforts, he’s just a teenager to you… even though you were just 18.

“do you know i’m older than you…?” You smirk.

“Yea by a couple of months *he scoffs*… I know I just… you’re the most beautiful girl i’ve ever met… i’ve seen you around and… I don’t know.” He says making your eyes grow wide.

“Well you’re young i’m sure you’ll meet many more beautiful girls… that are well… your age.” You respond.

It goes silent and he just stares. You place his hand in his lap and let go.

“God! what was I thinking!” He shoots up and starts pacing the room. You jerk back in shock and cover your mouth not sure what to do.

You stand up and grab his arms stopping him keeping him still in front of you, “hey… hey it’s okay…” He looks different now. He’s standing and he’s taller than you… much taller.

You release his arms and you both stand for a second. He pats your head and laughs acknowledging how short you are.

“hey.” you mutter not wanting to feed into his teasing.

“okay how about this… maybe we can get food or… or something like that” He says unconfidently.

You just stare at him. His big brown eyes and cute smile.

how can I say no to him?

“friends, just as friends.” You say

“no no of course yea” he replies

you both giggle slightly and sit back down finishing the song. Multiple times throughout the session he stares at you, not responding to your questions making you snap at him as his staring makes you self conscious… but also makes you blush.

You leave the studio and realize you can only order in… because you can’t be seen together… of course.

You decide on pad thai after playfully arguing for 20 minutes.

The food comes quickly and you eat. The whole time all you can think about is one thing.

James.

You feel like a horrible person but you can’t fake that kind of feeling, you can hide it though… for now. Your heart knew what it wanted.

You weren’t rude enough to ask about James in fact every time he slightly came up in a conversation who quickly changed the plot so Martin didn’t get any weird feeling.

Then you suddenly… forgot. Martin was cute… and funny and so dorky, in an attractive way. You realized that this is the boy you should like… this type of man. Someone sweet, someone open, and someone who makes the first move.

Then suddenly when you were cleaning up the power went out in the studio. You couldn’t see anything. Along with your phones.

“oh my god” you exclaim… slightly laughing.

“oh shit” Martin gasps.

You both stand up and bump into each other your face hitting his chest.

“oh i’m so-“ before you can finish he grabs the side of your face. You freeze and let out a slight gasp.

You are chest to chest at this point.

He sneaks his other arm around your waist.

You immediately feel your cheeks getting hot and you don’t know what to do. You don’t want it to stop… but are too afraid to initiate.

You reach your hand up and touch his chest, as he leans in touching his nose to yours. You can’t see anything but can feel his breath.

Then suddenly the lights turn on and you turn your head down nervously. He grabs your chin facing you towards him, closing his eyes, he kisses you softly once. He stares at you and all he sees is your big sparkling pupils staring at him in a daze with rosy cheeks. He smiles and you put your forehead on his chest preventing him from kissing you again.

You feel greedy because you know your heart is not into it but you accept his touch anyways.

You grab his arms and remove them, holding his hands.

“You can’t do that” You say in a silky tired tone.

“i’m sorry” He said staring at you, he was not sorry. “I thought… if not now then when?”

He quickly pulls you in again and just that second the door creaks open and James and Juhoon walk in.

You both push off of each other, but it’s too late, they already saw.

James stared seriously without even a slight smirk curving his lip. His eyes are glossy and emotionless with the straw of his drink pressing his bottom lip, frozen in his tracks. Juhoon smiles big then looks at James and gets slightly embarrassed.

“Yo do you know how to knock?” Martin says.

You just stand there hand on your mouth embarrassed but you also don’t care. You know who you are and aren’t embarrassed to show a little affection. You pack your bag up not making eye contact with any of them. Then you get to the door, “if you need anything else let me know…” you walk out… “and thanks for the food!” you yell already down the hallway.

Juhoon sits down and stares at martin with a *you’re in trouble* look.

Martin looks at James ready to do damage control.

“Look I ju-“ Martin stops, as James turns slamming the door closed and running after you. Martin puts his hands up in confusion quickly looking at Juhoon who then shrugged.

“Hey!” James yells running towards you almost out of breath, catching you right before you exit at the glass doors of the building

You spin around and suddenly he’s in front of you. He puts his arm on the wall over your shoulder as he pants leaning towards you.

“Are you serious… really? Martin?” He questions barely able to get the words out. You are holding your arms behind your back shocked by the sight of him so close to you out of breath. It was making your heart beat and your ears red.

“I… I don’t know?! What is it to you anyways you were literally SLEEPING the last time I saw you.” you snap back.

“I was tired. He’s younger than you isn’t that weird to you… don’t you want someone older… someone more…”

“Someone like you?”

“Yea…” He pants out the word… breathy… this time his breath hits your chest giving you chills.

“Look you caught us in a bad moment I don’t like…”

You weren’t sure who you liked. Martin was sweet and kind and cute… but James… he made your heart beat… you had dreams about him… it was an uncontrollable attachment… it was love… or maybe not… god I don’t know…

“I don’t like Martin… that’s all you have to say”

He says it like it’s so easy.

“I like… I just like you.” You blurt out quietly.

James’ lip curves and he take his hand off the wall pushing his hair back he looks at you for a few seconds.

“what?!” You demand loudly. He slowly walks towards you taking your face in his hands and he kisses you. It’s quick but deep and passionate. Before you realize it’s escalated quickly and your hand is in his hair and the other is creeping up his sweatshirt. You come to your senses and stop. You both smile breathing on eachother, noses rubbing as he pushes your hair behind your ears. You look down licking your lips and catching your breath. You push him off you playfully and he jokingly almost tumbles over. You head to the door leaving the building holding eye contact with him the whole time while he’s still catching his breath from the kiss.

You get into your car but something doesn’t feel right.

You feel conflicted. For the first time your head and your heart don’t agree.

You drive home and get a text from your manager.

“what is this? you are in such deep shit holy fuck y/n”

You heart drops as you open the link to an article reading…

James from Cortis seen kissing a mystery woman in front of HYBE LA building.

Okay guys that’s it! I hope you enjoy please give me tips on the formatting!

PART TWO HERE