Personal Blog

Be a positive light :)

[justmylifewritings]

I have met my soul mate. We didn't end up together. But until now, I stil feel like he's my soul mate. We connected on a deeper level. He understands my love for my family. He understands how we have to sacrifice for the people we love. He understands the struggle of coming from nothing. We speak the same language. We tell each other our thoughts through music we discover. And my gosh, i loved how good that felt. We never actually dated. We just talked. No physical contact.

Last time we saw each other was because of work. I had to do something in the place he works at. We just looked at each other, didn't know what to say.

I still listen to the playlist, though. Every now and then, I still wished I have someone like that again.

My soul is craving for someone to spark that feeling again.

[justmylifewritings]

Isn't it nice to find people who understand your soul?

Or even if they don't understand, they accept.

[justmylifewritings]

It's too noisy inside my brain.

I want it to stop.

[justmylifewritings]

I want to achieve so much, and I have so much drive to do well. But. I'm so lost. I don't know where to start. It's like, I want to do a lot of different things, but I don't think I am good enough to achieve something with them.

[justmylifewritings]

Time is speeding fast. How I miss the time when had the luxury of sitting with my thoughts.

Now, I barely have the time to sleep.

How can I go back?

[justmylifewritings]

This year, I'm really excited about:

Learning new stuff!!

Getting smarter!!

Growing!!

[justmylifewritings]

Pet peeve:

People thinking that their idea is something that others haven't thought of.

People thinking that they are so smart, they easily say "if you didn't do this, then that wouldn't happen" as if the other person haven't thought about it and chose not to do it due to other factors.

Also! Also! People who have fun talking about other people's failures. Who laugh at other people's unfortunate environment. People whose past time is to wait for other people's failures so that they can talk about them.

What makes it worse? The person doing so was supposed to be a friend, an ally.

[justmylifewritings]

I must say though, I might have the most self-control out of everyone I know. Eventhough I feel like I'm going to burst out of anger, I take a deep breath in and out a couple of times, and can easily go back to my original state. Not 100% but still, better than most people I know.

[justmylifewritings]

Oh my gosh. I wanna punch this guy so hard, man.

[justmylifewritings]

There are people who get something right one or two times, and they suddenly think they're better than everyone else.

[justmylifewritings]

But I know good things are coming. I can feel it.

[justmylifewritings]

I miss you dude.

[justmylifewritings]

You know what the key to becoming what you want is?

You have to want it enough to study more about it, not only in school but like self-study, research, books/audiobooks, etc. You have to want it enough to not quit when you aren't getting the results you want. You have to want it enough that you're willing to sacrifice your little pleasures for knowledge/experience. You have to want it enough to be persistent. You have to want it enough to still want it after all the disappointments. Envision yourself living the life you want. Isn't that such an amazing life? That's your motivation.

[justmylifewritings]

Awake at 1:30AM. Listening to the playlist you made for me that you still add songs to even if it's been years since we've last talked. I still think about you, no doubt. Which is sad because I pushed you away. Also so wrong because I am with another. I am still not sure about him. But he wouldn't leave me. I don't know what to do.

I've been through so much with life. I've made thousand dollar decisions with work. But this is the only thing I couldn't decide on. My lovelife.

Aaah.

So difficult.

[justmylifewritings]

Currently, stress and anxiety is eating me away.

I want to cry out of frustration.

So much blessings, but so much stress.

I want to quit but I can't.

Which would you prefer? Shitty boss but good salary or shitty salary but good boss?

:(((((

[justmylifewritings]

Very grateful for so much blessings this year, I could not even count.

Yes there were hardships, stress, moments of breakdown, but the blessings were more than double to cover it all up.

I don't know what i did to deserve all this, but thank You.

[justmylifewritings]

I can do it. I can do it. I can do it.

Good things are coming. Good things are coming. Good things are coming.