Writing everything down I don’t want to feel

♡ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅɪsᴛʀᴀᴄᴛ ᴍᴇ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴍʏ ғᴇᴇʟɪɴɢs♡

[justpoemsaboutlife]

The urge of leaving the country is really high rn

Coping? Traveling? Who knows

[justpoemsaboutlife]

there's nothing wrong with admitting that you're not ready for something yet

[justpoemsaboutlife]

Were you ever so happy, you wanted to slit your wrists?

[justpoemsaboutlife]

God why is that man so good??

[justpoemsaboutlife]

Texting I still love you here, so I won’t text it to you.

[justpoemsaboutlife]

I miss you.

Do I miss you?

I don’t want you back.

But I want us back.

[justpoemsaboutlife]

How can happiness make me so sad?

[justpoemsaboutlife]

Why do I always keep asking myself what behavior would result in me “winning”, which action in me having the upper hand?

Instead I should’ve asked myself what makes me happy.

Even it’s stupid, if it makes no sense. If it makes me happy for just a second I’ll take it.

And tomorrow I’ll do the same.

Stop worrying about the outcome or who “won”

[justpoemsaboutlife]

I'm so f*ckin angry

I'm angry at the world, at you, at me, at society

I don't even know

Worst about all of it? I wanna text you so bad rn

I'd say please come back to me, but please don't. I can't let you ruin my life again...

[justpoemsaboutlife]

I had a good day today.

I want to acknowledge my good days more.

I bought a skateboard xoxo (this made me so happy)

[justpoemsaboutlife]

I’m sick enough to participate in a medical survey about depression… don’t know how to feel about that.

[justpoemsaboutlife]

He has a new girlfriend. It’s only been two months since we broke up. He has a new girlfriend, I can’t believe how quick that was.

[justpoemsaboutlife]

I thought about checking myself in to a clinic. But I’m afraid that just like my therapy it won’t help me all the way. Maybe it was naive of me to think I’d be healthy after therapy, but I really wanted to be. I really wanted to have a healthy brain and a non twisted view on myself, life and everything that comes with it. And so this magical idea of hospitalization fixing me for good seems just like another illusion I tell myself to believe in something. Or maybe I’m just afraid I’m not I’ll enough to be hospitalized.

[justpoemsaboutlife]

I think I’m sad cause I don’t have kids yet. I’m sad cause I’m not married yet. I’m sad that my life rn is not the way I pictured it. I’m sad cause all I wanted to achieve is to find someone who I can call home.

But every time I think I found my home they leave me, betray me, abandon me, and leave me alone and slowly dying.

And with every time something like this happens I lose a part of myself. Just like loosing a puzzle piece. And with more and more parts missing I become more and more hopeless, and less and less myself.

[justpoemsaboutlife]

She has not spoken to me in over ten years. For while Juliana Sophie Howe was the best thing that ever happened to me, turned out, I was the worst thing that ever happens to her. Sometimes love is like that.

- Love you more, Lisa Gardner -

[justpoemsaboutlife]

It hurts being in love with a ghost.

With a person you once knew, but now has changed into someone else.

How do you survive this feeling?

[justpoemsaboutlife]

I listen to you like I listen to nobody else. You say something, I obey. You tell me something, I’m listening. Seems like I really respect you. Even after all those years.