I’m not the first person to write about this topic and I don’t want to dive in here deep into societal problems with slutshaming. But I think about it a lot - there is an interesting approach within the show to this.
I talk about how both characters in the show and the audience treat so-called sluts of the show. Yes, it’s about Boston and Top. But also about Sand and Ray. Because it’s quite clear that all four of them have - or had before by the point we’re now - an active sex life.
With Boston, Top and Sand it was spoken out loud, with Ray wasn’t but come on. Like he is horny as fuck.
And the way he just casually raised the car roof here without stopping a make out session - I don’t believe for a second he never did it before.
But Ray also spends a huge amount of his life being blackout drunk so maybe his sex life is not that intense at this point. The other three? 100%
But the approach towards Sand (and Ray) is very different than towards Boston and Top. And it’s partially because of car scene, of course, but not only about that. Top and Boston both constantly judged for their sex life in the show and out of it.
And I think characters view on those who actively engaged in casual hookups speaks volumes. It happens in all of the main dynamics but differently.
Friend group. So the whole Boston-Mew drama about feeling superior to the other cause of having/not having sex is amazing. Those two are very dramatic about it. Boston going crazy about Mew’s virginity while Mew being arrogant ass towards Boston’s sex life is just everything. I love it.
Like really, Mew, honey, there is nothing wrong with sleeping around. It’s not something that needs correction. He’s fine.
Cheum said nobody would be happy in a relationship with Boston. And why?
That’s her reason. While so many real reasons exist for her it’s just Boston being a slut. And it’s just interesting to me for two reasons:
1. Boston didn’t say anything about relationship. Not everyone wants a relationship.
2. Monogamy is not the only option, you know? Some couples are great without being inclusive and it’s fine.
We never see anyone talks on Ray about it and, well, Ray is a depressive addict and that’s what should worry people around him more, rightfully so. Ray is also the only one in that friend group who never speaks about others sex life.
Top and Mew. Mew is really getting paranoid by the episode 5. Every time he sees a man looking at Top he gets nervous.
And yes, Top slept with Boston, but Mew seems (at least for me) unaware of that. He’s fine when Top and Boston are near each other, but any random guy passing by Top? Even when Top doesn’t interact with them or even looks back at them.
And Mew really tries his best to be cool about Top’s past.
But he just can’t. It’s always present in their relationship. He can’t get over it to the point he decides to have sex with Top.
And maybe it’s not all about that and he also in love with him and blablabla but the reasoning is “I’m afraid he’ll get bored” and this is all about Top and sex and the role sex played in his life.
And while Mew doesn’t want to judge Top he usually judges people like Top, and of course he can’t separate it. He is not okay with the past Top has. He doesn’t trust him because of that past. So the audience doesn’t too (and also because we know Top fucked Boston obviously).
Boston and Nick. Nick is in a way the same as Mew. While he doesn’t seem to judge people for having sex life, he does it with Boston. He is obsessed with him being with someone else (read as: Top).
Just a reminder, he bugged Boston’s car just because he saw photos with Top. Just in case. While they agreed on being fwb and Boston never lied about having other partners.
And when Boston told him about someone else blackmailing him over sex tape, how Nick responded?
Yep. And while it was meant as a tease, it wasn’t. Nothing is ever a reason to record someone without consent (as that guy did. And Nick did. And Boston did). But Nick says it as this is justified because he really doesn’t like that Boston is a slut. And, well, the audience doesn’t like it too (besides all the other reasons of course).
Sand and Ray. I give it to them, in that particular case they are doing great. Not in a one point of the story not Sand or Ray had issues with other’s past sex life. They don’t even seem to care about it.
The one time Ray asked if Sand is fine with casual hookups he did it for a reason to, well, know if Sand will be into having sex with him. So when Sand said yes Ray was actually pleased with this answer.
And while their situationship progresses into something and Sand sees Ray with a girl, he’s not nervous or jealous. He teases Ray a little and a bit possessive but he is totally chill about it.
I had so much hope we’ll get a threesome with those two at some point of the story, but yeah. Second time they let a gorgeous girl walk away without even noticing. They are simping for each other so badly it’s pathetic. And adorable. I love them. No threesome for them I guess.
And when the fight at the end of episode happens Boston brings up twice that he thinks Ray and Mew had sex. As that has to make Sand feel even worse. But the thing is, Sand is heartbroken not because Ray potentially had sex with someone, even his close friend. I really don’t think Sand would care about it. Sand is heartbroken because Ray loves someone else.
So those two are only ones who don’t judge anyone, including each other, for having an active sex life (being sluts). And this is quite healthy approach (look at me, using word healthy to describe that one thing about OF, I don’t believe myself) to life and relationships. Any sort of relationship, including friendships, romance or people you don’t know but so ready to judge. And while them not judging each other, why the audience would?
I don’t know if the show does it on purpose or not. I do think it does with Boston and Top. But with Sand and Ray? I doubt it. It more looks like those to have enough other shit to worry about both within their relationship and outside of it.
I know it’ll develop but by episode 5 characters biggest problems looks something like this:
1. Mew’s biggest problem is his relationship with Top and sex. And Boston.
2. Top’s biggest problem is maybe insomnia but also his relationship with Mew and sex. And Boston.
3. Boston’s biggest problem is Top and Mew and their relationship.
4. Nick’s biggest problem is his relationship with Boston and sex and Boston.
5. Ray’s biggest problem is depression and addiction and inability to love or being loved.
6. Sand’s biggest problem is his financial situation, debts collectors and working his ass off 24/7.
So maybe yes, those two just don’t have enough screen time to worry about sex too. And while I do think we will learn more about other characters, by that point we’ve seen almost half of the show. And the initial idea of who they are already formed. It can develop, but it won’t change.
And the approach to Boston and Top being sluts won’t change either. Whatever they do the “slut” part will be seen as their flaw, something they have to overcome (it is not). While Sand and Ray get a free pass on that.
The thing is, both Top and Boston do have flaws and things to overcome. But their sex life is not a part of it. Them having a lot of sex partners doesn’t mean they can’t be in relationship, or even monogamous, if that what they (or at least Top) want to. And if they doesn’t - nothing is wrong with it. It’s like trying to change something that’s not even broken on the first place, you know?
