I can't and I won't

Indie and fandom divergent Maes E. Hughes; based heavily off of FMAB. Open to OC's and other fandoms. Formerly @thefcmilymcn.

[reigningsniper]

      “You don’t have to come along - really. It’s only a bit of simple reconnaissance.”

[justwcntdie]

  “ Eh. I should probably get off my ass, anyways; been stuck behind my desk working on a few boring cases and it’d be a nice break. ‘Fraid I’m a bit rusty, though - First Lieutenant~ “

   A definite lie.

He’s still just as horrifying as always with a knife. He practices as often as he needs to, to make sure he hits exactly what he wants, when he wants, with each and every throw.

    “ Would be nice to have some use for the ol’ letter-openers. “

[justwcntdie]

 @ficryfingcrs​

     “ Hey. Roy. Riddle me this. “

  The man is sitting and sipping a healthy helping of whatever substance the bartender had offered them, as it was a regular night out for the two military mutts after a long week of brutal paperwork and an even-longer week of murder cases; murder cases which had planted the Colonel right into his dearest bestie’s correspondence. The two had been lopped into working together - something surely somebody higher-up had had second thoughts about before okay’ing yet- here they were. And of course, their little school-project assignment got a big ol’ A+ once it was all turned in, with Hughes being a champ and, of course, putting most of the credit onto Roy. He’d need every bit of those brownie points to rise up in the ranks, after-all.

   So, of course, with everything said and done and justice served and all that shit it meant the two of them could unwind as men near their thirties surely would. Drinking, playing games, being complete asses to each other all for the sake of brotherly love.

   Nobody could even guess the sorts of shit the two could get up to after working their asses off, could they? 

            No. No they couldn’t.

   “ Why, would someone stab this wealthy-ass couple, leave them a complete mess in a back alley, take their wallets, and then not only not leave town - but use the wife’s ID to get booze half a week later? And why the hell did no one think to report it - when their pictures were hanging up right outside in plain view of the register? Is this what we get for wearing cool outfits and having big badges? The responsibility of common sense? “

   Yet a laugh can only come out of him since this wasn’t exactly new news. 

    “ Shit. At least they thought it was serious enough to drag your ass out here - huh Mister High and Mighty~? “

[justwcntdie]

  “ WHOPPER WHOPPER WHOPPER WHOPPER JUNIOR DOUBLE TRIPLE WHOPPER “

[ficryfingcrs]

" Well, I'm not callin' you a tailor. At least as a cobbler you'd be home on Gracia's table. "

[justwcntdie]

" I seriously have been put on the table for less, but sure, pop off I guess. "

[secondequinox]

Frantically, the girl is searching the passengers side of the car for some sort of towel, other than her beach towel she refuses to acknowledge this very moment as an option.

There's gotta be a microfiber in here or something, what adult man-- what dad doesn't have a microfiber in his car?

She turned around to find a couple in the back, behind her seat. She grabbed one, turned to him and grimaced at the mess.

" Ew, there's so much goop. I didn't see that much, how'd you get so goopy in the two seconds I was looking for a towel? You're so very gooped at this very moment. "

Slowly, with microfiber in hand, she goes to dap up some, still disgusted like this isn't stuff she puts on her face, but it's just so goopy... and warm and goopy and gross.

[justwcntdie]

" Honestly, I have no idea and I'm not even going to question it, I just hate how much is happening right now. "

The goopening is definitely just as disturbing to the older man as he has that gruff and seriously strained furrow to his eyebrows where it says plenty more than even his mouth could - a sure feat of its own. He manages to nab one of the stored microfibers from the back seat - ah, that's where they were - before padding down himself to set his priorities straight and prioritize himself; as in war, the first one climbing out of a trench needs to be yourself.

" Augh. Uhhhgh. God, when did YOU get so gooped? You look like an art project a seagull turned in just to get a D. As in, you know. " Thank you Maes for your grand eloquence.

Only once he has managed to ungoop his arms off does he decide to pass the very-much-so goopingly gooped-up microfiber he had just cleaned himself up with onto the redhead. As in, lazily toss it onto her lap so that he wouldn't have to deal with it.

" Ooooh. Missed a spot. "

[ficryfingcrs]

" i’m gonna beat you up with my fists, see? "

“I’m shaking in my steel toed boots, Hughes.”

Voice so flat, you could mistake it for a cutting board.

[justwcntdie]

ficryfingcrs·:

“Oh, damn… I thought that was your job.”

  “ So you’re callin’ me a cobbler now huh? “

[ficryfingcrs]

" i’m gonna beat you up with my fists, see? "

“I’m shaking in my steel toed boots, Hughes.”

Voice so flat, you could mistake it for a cutting board.

[justwcntdie]

   “ Shit. They gave you steel-toed boots? Who the hell supplied mine, than? “

[jedi-kat-18]

“FMA is pro-military” wrong. “FMA said all cops are bastards” also wrong. FMA said “War crimes are horrible atrocities that are committed by people like you and me who kiss their wives and have hobbies”, but that doesn’t fit on a bumper sticker so who cares.

[paladitos]

i am first and foremost a lover. secondarily and mostly for the bit i am also a hater

[justwcntdie]

“Stop splashing yourself with goop juice! You’re getting too much goop everywhere! Conserve it, save it! Save the goop.”

" It's not like I WANT it to goop all over the place- quick, hand me a towel, please. "

The poor man is struggling for the life of him to conserve some of the sun-baked sunscreen that had exploded out of the bottle once he'd opened it.

" Damn. I guess I shouldn't have left it in the cup holder overnight. "

[rpdepartment]

Sonic Riders Real Time Fandub Sentence Starters

40 starters 

« can we be friends now? »

« just because you hold it it doesn’t make it yours! »

« i will punch you! with my fists! »

« i love stealin’ shit! »

« whoah, he’s bisexual, i didn’t know that! »

« by the way, i’m bisexual. i forgot to announce it. »

« i missed my therapy appointment today, and i’m a little upset about it. »

« sorry, i had to scream. »

« watch where you’re going, shithead! »

« i love seeing people suffer when they wrong me, even if it’s minor! »

« i hear womanly emotions. »

« not very impressive for someone of your reputation! »

« we’re your friends, right? you would never replace us with somebody else… you promise? »

« welp. i’m out. done with this shit. »

« i’m gonna win, bitch, i’m gonna win! »

« there’s nothing that can stop me now! especially not some sort of unforseen disaster event! »

« hey audience, i know you’re wondering what the fuck is going on! uhh… me too! »

« you motherfucker, you just left me to die! »

« top 30 anime deaths - number one: Your Fuckin’ Ass RIGHT NOW!!! »

« i just wanted to say thank you for giving me content for my villainous backstory. »

« i’m gonna die! i’m not ready to die! »

« you know, i know you spent like a weekend in france, but you don’t have to, like, pretend you’re french. »

« you are not attractive enough. die. »

« do you ever think about death and stuff? »

« “never go outside your comfort zone”, that’s what i always say. »

« i’m impressed but also very disturbed. »

« how many concussions does it take to get to the center of your fuckin’ head? the answer is “a lot”! a lot of concussions! »

« shut the fuck your mouth you piece of shit!! »

« we just doing this now? we all standing around? a bunch of assholes, standing in a line? congratulations. »

« i’m gonna cause problems on purpose! »

« hang on, wait a minute, we need an attractive person, step aside. »

« wait, i’ve been joking this whole time, do you really think i’m mean? »

« okay, i’m gonna do some soul-searching, but i don’t really think i need to do lotta changing. »

« wait! why am i being blamed for everything? »

« i will follow you anywhere. just tell me where to go. »

« do you think i’ve been a dick to everybody? »

« bitch? you have been SO fucking rude. to everyone. all the time. »

« i’m sorry for being a stupid smelly little bitch! »

« you’re gonna have to beg a little harder than that, motherfucker! »

« now you can be a good boy, just like me! »

[ficryfingcrs]

Thought everyone deserved to see Roy doin his little dancey dance in the game, so here it is.

[xbunnyclawsx]

Credit: IG-@forestofodes

[oopsiewoopsie123]

BuzzFeed Unsolved - Supernatural: Season 2 quotes pt. 1

“Would it have killed them to make this any closer to the city, does it have to be on the side of the weird, creepy road?”

“The worst part is that I don’t have my holy water.”

“I just got startled by a disco ball.”

“Do you always have to insult the ghost of the place we’re at?”

“It says ‘Danger’ I wouldn’t go in there.”

“That’s the weirdest thing to do before you die, just be like, ‘I’m gonna haunt ya!’“

“Maintaining silence now. Do try to kill me.”

“Is this a joke?”

“This is maybe the only time I believe in the thing you’re talking about.”

“There may very well be a hot dog vendor in Chicago who is a Bigfoot.”

“Do you imagine Bigfoot as someone who walks around in disguises?”

“I’m not going ‘to try my best’, I will finish it.”

“Morning time’s here, it’s time to go catch us a foot.”

“Don’t make Bigfoot believe in your ghostly energies.”

“I’m already fed up with the folders by the way. Looks too official considering the nonsense that is within.”

“How do you think that is a basket of fruit?”

“Are they— are they time-traveling?”

“So the aliens show up, show them pictures of helicopters, and fly away.”

“I will fight you tooth and nail when it comes to ghoulie ghosts, but aliens are a litte more probable.”

“Are there blueprints for the pyramids? Are they written in alien language?”

“Go fuck yourself, have a nice day.”

“I’ve seen this building on several shows before, and always thought there’s no way in hell I’m gonna go there.”

“The look of this building is so imposing. I’m surprised you’re conscious right now.”

“Shockingly, I’m not really hearing anything.”

“Are you fucking kidding me dude?”

“Someone will come here in a week, and they’ll be like, ‘It’s a gh-gh-ghost butt!’“

“Oh my god, that’s the biggest lie I’ve ever heard.”

“Maybe this ghost just loves to blaze it.”

“I’m gonna take everything said by a ghost hunter with a grain of salt.”

“I can’t believe you don’t think this is strange.”

“I can’t believe you don’t think boats sink.”

“Black holes aren’t unicorns, [name].”

[wildandbad]

ford model t truck

[ownheartbeating-deactivated2024]

Tell me what “big _______ energy” I have

[justwcntdie]

rubrumvirtutem‌:

reigningsniper‌:

rubrumvirtutem‌:

“Lara is a shortie pass it on.”

“U a hoe.”

MMMMM WHATCHA SAAAAYYYY 

“im not a hoe”

   Sipping some tea.