your local cryptid

Vani | 31 | they/he | obsessed with mihoyo games. i play pokémon too. I forget to tag quite often so follow with that in mind.

[juuzouexe]

they/he. bi. adult. taken 🐻

quite a bit of tw content (blood, guro art, yandere, horror, etc) if you don't like that, please leave ♡

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names: Vani, Juuzou, Cryptid, Mika, Puppet

more about me: i'm transmasc nonbinary, host of a system, & polyam ♡

i've been on tumblr for 15 years, so i've gone through a lot of phases.

you'll see a lot of fandom content on this blog along with a lot of shitposts, with some yandere posts mixed in. i'm not very good at tagging anymore like i used to be but i'm trying to get better at it.

this blog is mainly run by two alters, Vani & June. we try to keep it updated!

please don't interact if you are a minor, this is not a minor safe blog.

if it wasn't obvious, we are obsessed with tokyo ghoul.. specifically kaneki/haise and juuzou. if you don't like tokyo ghoul please don't follow.

our other special interests are the big 3 mihoyo games (honkai impact 3rd, genshin impact, honkai star rail), TADC, the summer that hikaru died, and pokemon (always pokemon)

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[parkchanwoohoo]

I think my coworker's fucking the IT guy bc we normally have to submit a ticket and they'll get back to us in 2-3 days unless it's crazy urgent. But he showed up like 1.5 hours after and went "Tanya... you miss me already?" And she giggled and went "omg stop Daviddd" meanwhile I'm sitting here like

[parkchanwoohoo]

He was like "You sure you're not just coming up with excuses ;)" and she was like "Nooo my mouse really keeps dying" and he was like "Haha I believe you" and I felt awk so I blurted out "It's good of you to like, validate her fears" and they both looked at me like I just appeared in their bedroom

[anxietyproblem]

[segamascott]

[innerchildabortionclinic]

[strawberrymilkshakeearrings]

there a baby fox living under our deck and he literally looks like that "full of milk" drawing except somehow rounder

[strawberrymilkshakeearrings]

ROTUND

[toonfinch-deactivated20231219]

artistic rendition

[strawberrymilkshakeearrings]

im actually crying rn thank you so much 

[trippiest]

what a beautiful day to not be in high school

[gayofthefae]

This is the like those “remember to be grateful you don’t have a sore throat right now” posts. It IS a beautiful day to not be in high school! Thank you!

[eraserheadadult]

when i was a kid i had moments of being so fucking diabolical because i realized at some point the best way to leverage power over my family was to do shit that would make everybody late

[eraserheadadult]

our house was in the middle of nowhere surrounded by woods so when i decided i didnt want to wear dresses anymore if we were going to some event & my parents insisted i had to wear a dress i would just go hide in the woods. was so committed i almost made us miss a flight once bc my mom packed a dress in my suitcase

i only promised to stop doing this if my parents got me formal boys clothes to wear which eventually they did. i don't feel bad about resorting to violence bc i asked politely and they said no. proud of 10 yr old me for evil annoying lesbian behavior

[the-prophesied-disco-gay]

5th grade was the last time I wore a dress for school pictures. When my parents attempted to force the issue for 6th grade, I climbed onto our roof and pulled the ladder up after me. My dad borrowed the neighbors ladder. As soon as it touched the roof I pulled it up too. By the time I had 3 ladders they were willing to negotiate, and 2 hours late for work.

[max1461]

[ostensible-adult]

[Image ID: a tumblr tag reading "problems that can be avoided if you simply treat your child as a human being with the right to make decisions on what they wear". End ID]

[firelorcl]

i scare people lots because i walk very softly and they don’t hear me enter rooms so when they turn around i’m just kind of there and their fear fuels me

[wifegideonnav]

the emotion i just experienced is kind of indescribable

[wifegideonnav]

the funniest part of this post to me is that the reblog:like ratio is nearly 1:1. nobody’s just liking everyone who sees this video goes yeah i gotta inflict it on as many people as possible

[socialistexan]

[vitabreva]

[themummersfolly]

How dare you leave this in the tags.

[keplercryptids]

hey, it's okay if the only thing you did for pride was exist. i'm glad & grateful you are in the world. your survival is a celebration.

[archiverfqk]

they are ghosthunters...

[murkymarco]

Caught myself spiraling and then remembered it's just my body not wanting to exist in these temperatures

[tzikeh]

More examples of the WORST mansplaining here.

[useyourblinker]

This might be my favorite

[lotsofcatsandcheapwine]

This is mine

[stockyardsyndrome]

[raccoonmilf]

I don’t have a raccoon daughter because I’m a raccoon biologist. I have a raccoon daughter because I moved to South Africa because I had what I thought was a “prophetic dream” (I had scurvy and also an evil psychiatrist prescribing me the wrong meds) where I was in South Africa and there was billboard with a woman on it in a lab coat holding a red fox and a raccoon that said “Dr Foxy: This Could Be You!” And then in the dream I looked across the street and saw a billboard the said “Come Visit Hooters in South Africa.” And I woke up and was like “I know what I need to do” which was not “go to school to study native wildlife” but instead was “visit Hooters in South Africa.” But I didn’t want to go for just a little while because it was expensive and I didn’t like the idea of the long flight, but I knew I HAD to go to the Hooters in South Africa. So I figured it would be more economical to just go and finish art school there. Except COVID happened and I literally got trapped there and the hooters in the city I moved to had apparently been closed for years and also I got a concussion and when I went to the doctor they said I had scurvy. So I had to do intensive eating treatment where I drank a lot of fruit juice and also learned to eat macaroni that was shapes other than SpongeBob. And after listening to my yapping about raccoons, my therapist, who had never met a raccoon, told me I should get a raccoon to help me keep fresh fruits in the house. And so when I got back to America I found someone trying to get rid of one Facebook because it was apparently evil and bit her toddler and then I did.

And now I’m a raccoon biologist.

[raccoonmilf]

I actually have two now. But this is Moonshine—the one I got when I got back from South Africa

[adobe-outdesign]

So currently on Neopets:

If you do up to 100,000 cumulative damage to Vocivus (the current plot boss) you get several very good awards

Vocivus started with 850 mil HP, but players almost killed it within 12 hours so TNT boosted it to 3 billion

For players with untrained pets, grinding up to 100K points can take hours, so it's best if it doesn't die too fast

Elite battlers really like Vocivus as it provides a genuine challenge on account of having randomized element immunity and healing from light attacks

Therefore, people on the Neoboards have been "feeding" it light attacks to make sure it doesn't die too fast and have been petitioning it to stay as the "pet" of the Battledome Chat

Some users have also started a psudo-cult worshiping it so now the boards look like this

As of three days after its release it still hasn't been defeated because of this

[valtsv]

[valtsv]