Save your breath

@jxxxii

Jess

21.7K posts

somewhereonthebridge

28 may 2026

i know everyone has been waiting so, so patiently as i finish up the album. i promise it is coming. i have experienced so many things and emotions in the last couple of years, and figuring out exactly what this new record is for me took a lot of time. for whatever it's worth, we are now in the home stretch of finishing up all the little things....

in the mean time, do you guys remember the mixtape - if i could just stop the time, .... ?

i wanted to give you guys some tidbits from the making of that mixtape to hold you over. little rough demos that never came out, ideas that i loved but didn't really know what to do with..

so here they are. love you guys. x

an intro

mgmt | [email protected]

this is the original intro i was going to use for the mixtape last may. i don't know why i didn't use it. it's made out of parts of "if i could just stop the time," and voicemails from friends and family over the last few years. i wish so badly i could stop time and be everywhere i love at once, with everyone i love at once. it is the biggest hurdle i face in life.

i don't think i miss you anymore

mgmt | [email protected]

i wrote this song with my friend kevin in the fall of 2024. my heartbreak was still incredibly fresh and raw, but i started to have good days here and there. i think i wrote this more out of wanting to feel ok than out of actually feeling ok, if that makes sense. i was just trying to justify behavior, justify "endings" even. who knows.

i can't be good if it's not for you

mgmt | [email protected]

i wrote this song at the end of 2024 and worked on it more in january of 2025. i was going through it. doing anything, with anyone, anywhere. trying to feel numb, trying to feel something, i dunno. heartbreak and grief turn you into many different versions of yourself. i didn't like the particular version i was writing about.

touch me like you're falling in love

mgmt | [email protected]

this is a demo i made in the winter of 2025. it was snowing in tribeca and i was lonely and missed the feeling of falling in love. i still miss that feeling and don't know when or how to experience it again.

but it's only a dream

mgmt | [email protected]

this is a little piano song i wrote when i was hurting and reflecting. i think i wrote it at some point in the winter of 2024-2025 but i can't remember and i didn't write down the date. i never really did anything with it but it feels haunting and beautiful to me still.

ok. i dont know what these even are, but i hope they give you guys some insight into how i was feeling when i was making the mixtape. when the new album comes out, you'll get more insight into how i've been feeling since then. i want to be able to write about everything. going out, trying new things, doing things i regret, doing things i'm proud of, experiencing heartbreak, experiencing joy..the new album is all of that. i miss you guys and i just want you to have as much of me as you can until i can give you the record.

xo

purplebuddhaquotes

whatgivesrosstheright

Phoebe knows

squirtle-daddy-deactivated20250

👁👄👁

What

accelerationist-king-piccolo

Yeah in America that’s just an average Tuesday

normal-with-adhd-is-a-joke

In case y’all thought this wasn’t a real thing:

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-52045958

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/25/us/politics/coronavirus-fbi-shooting.html

https://time.com/5810734/fbi-terrorist-bomb-coronavirus-hospital/

and those are just the top 3 results when you google “missouri hospital terrorist”

Just to emphasize how bad the coverage for this is, I live in Missouri and didn’t even know this was a thing that happened

all-this-panic-still-no-disco

yo I heard NOTHING about this wtf??????

📷 || rob loud

Ugh fuck I wonder if I should have responded differently to a clients email, but I’ve already sent it out and I can’t recall it.

I hate when I start overthinking these things.

Damn coffee and boba all day I can’t sleep and my wrist hurt. I wonder when my wrist will stop hurting. It’s a pain to wipe my ass.

shitpost-senpai

This is what it’s like to be an adult.

room-of-angel-deactivated201910

in the english dub she say “-just one more good sob - OKAY I’M READY” and that’s pretty accurate too.

justsomeantifas

how many people could be working on actual problems in the world instead of being forced to do jobs that they are over-qualified for just because they dont want to go homeless and starve?

justsomeantifas

climate change is threatening to kill us and people with biology degrees are working at starbucks if they didn’t get lucky in the nepotism department.

justsomeantifas

capitalism is possibly the least efficient way to allocate work.

You love art–have spent your entire childhood developing a style people love and appreciate? you could possibly work to improve the lives of millions with your beautiful creations?

sorry you need to work 12 hours a day at a walmart that doesn’t need you while some billionaire who took a painting class once sells some ugly bullshit for 3.5 million.

justsomeantifas

Millions of people want to be doctors but can’t afford medical school, it is a well known fact we don’t have enough doctors for the demand. hmm wow real efficient capitalism.

thecringeandwincefactory-deacti

“I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein’s brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.” - Stephen Jay Gould

Capitalism and wealth are bankrupt concepts.

Sadly, it is even more insidious and depressing than this. Many of the world’s greatest minds, who could be solving the fatal issues of climate change, cancer, super viruses etc. are instead employed inventing ways for billionaires to maximize the market value of their portfolios. Why? It’s not that their hearts are cold or indifferent. It’s because there is no money in saving the world and emancipating the human race. The money is in writing a.i that can trade stocks by the millisecond to get the highest return on investment. The intellects of generations of geniuses have been bent solely to the whims and desires of capital, while millions who wish they could get the training and education to solve the problems facing us are denied access. We can and must do better. Organize. Build dual power. Get moving!

backpackfullofplums

In case you aren’t familiar, Michael Scott Moore and David Rohde are both journalists. Moore was held by Somali pirates for 977 days. Rohde was held captive by the Taliban for 7 months after being abducted in Afghanistan.

randomlonelytorment

Would they allow their own children to live under those conditions, willingly?

If no, then there's something wrong.

Would they find it acceptable to go without adequate hygiene supplies under the same conditions?

If no, then there's something wrong.

Stop Calling People Toxic (and Start Developing Compassion)

Let’s get one thing straight – I am not here to victimize myself. I’m admitting to the fact that I exude toxic traits. I have been called toxic by a person I love. So let’s step out of our tunnel vision and reach for deeper understanding. This one is for everyone who has ever been called toxic, and for the ones who feel like they’ve just loved a toxic person to which they deserve so much more.

Well, I’ve been both people. So hear me out. You can even take a shit while reading this. It could be interesting.

(I’m crediting a lot of my inspiration for this post to http://bewellplace.com/stop-calling-people-toxic/)

First off, I am not ridiculous. I am, surprisingly, quite self-aware. I do not lash out without a conscious voice consistently telling myself to chill out. This is something I am still learning.

It might be important to note someone who has been mentally abused will: constantly apologize, hide their feelings in FEAR of upsetting you, break down during small disagreements thinking it will explode, and need a lot of reassurance.

Look, it ain’t easy. I get it. It’s sad how many times I have to disclose: we are not playing the victim or shifting the blame.

Now I also understand that this kind of individual requires a lot a lot of love. And I am only beginning to understand that this kind of individual (myself, included) requires a lot a lot of self-love. We are extremely fucking fragile, but do believe that we are trying.

You see it everywhere: How to Remove Toxic People From Your Life, How to Handle Toxic Friends, and Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship.

Calling people toxic gives us a sense of power and righteousness. It relieves us of responsibility and justifies our feelings and circumstances.

Toxic people are typically associated with the following character traits:

Bullying

Manipulative

Passive-aggressive

Jealous

Selfish

Egotistic

Narcissistic

The list goes on. Let’s take a minute to reflect on these characteristics.

Can we honestly say that we have never exhibited any of these traits in our lives thus far? Have we never been jealous before? Have we never been selfish? Do we never think and act in egotistic and narcissistic ways? Come on…yes we do. We’re human. It’s all part of the gig.

The goal is to not let such tendencies become a habit. When we observe others who allow these tendencies to become a habit, we call them toxic and tell ourselves that they are very bad no good people and should be avoided at all costs.

So yes, as an individual who has loved an individual with “npd” and was with him for 3 years, I am saying YOU are not responsible NOR obligated to love a “toxic” individual, to be put through the suffering, to feel so so sad and unworthy. That’s how I felt every night before going to bed - I wondered why this person who I was pouring all of myself into could not just wake up one morning and apologize for hurting me all these years. I wished every day that he would love me better and I held onto that hope for 3 entire years until he found a new source of supply because I had been wrung out.

But take my above experience and if I see it from a completely unrelated and third person’s perspective – I will see a boy who just really really did not love himself. And there was nothing I could do to save him. He needed to want to save himself and while the love he projected onto me was not perfect, it was all he knew. I left with the hope that he will become better.

Now, as an individual who has been called “toxic” why someone I loved – I can now see how shitty it feels to be on this side of the fence. Here I am admitting to my bouts of jealousy, and the narratives that my trauma has created for me and the difficulties in distinguishing my real voice amidst the others. I am trying. I have tried. I had even chosen the path of letting him go and not clinging in hopes to better myself for the both of us but more importantly, myself. And yet, I am continually associated to the word “toxic” and my growth, albeit small, is not once looked as closely under a microscope.

It’s easy to hold other people responsible for our happiness, and it’s easy to label them as toxic when it seems they are irresponsible with our feelings. We quickly forget that we are the only ones in charge of our emotions and actions and end up thinking selfish, angry thoughts as a result.

But this behavior is exactly what these so-called toxic people exhibit. So the question becomes: Who’s really the toxic one?

Calling people toxic is a way for us to feel better about ourselves and escape responsibility for our own thoughts, feelings and actions. It’s a way to assess blame and elevate ourselves rather than evolve and gain deeper understanding of people and relationships. Toxicity is a distraction from the underlying problem.

The more we accept personal responsibility for ourselves, the less we need to place blame on others and hold others accountable for how we feel.

But there’s no need to place blame on ourselves either. Blame is counterproductive to personal growth. Mistakes happen. We all make them. The most important thing to do is recognize the mistake, understand it and take measures to prevent the same mistakes from happening again. No finger pointing. No blame games. Just fucking grow.

You evolve into you

📷 || shanna fisher

📷 || second fleet magazine (ph unknown)

Mort à Vignole (Death at Vignole), Olivier Smolders, 1998.

People are constantly changing..

I use to think I’d have everything figured out by now but I think no one really has anything figured out

We’re just

I want to keep growing and evolving

But how

furrylittlepeach

in the studio

Save your breath @jxxxii - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag