Jya Ne

There are no "goodbyes", just "see you laters". Dartmouth Student in Japan for 3 months.

[jya-ne]

I admit defeat, I won't finish my summer posts

it's a bit of a shame, but some things don't need to be captured with words. I remember the things I didn't take the time to write down just as clearly now as I did those few months ago.

I've decided I'll keep this blog up, and post Japan/Japanese related stuff from it, such as my progress with the language, programs I may be applying for. Ultimately however, I hope that I'll be reviving it as a study abroad blog again pretty soon!

[jya-ne]

I woke up in Japan around 9 am on the 25th; it was 9:40 am on the 25th when I touched down at LAX

And I'm not even done with my time zone jumping yet; this session of jetlag is going to be interesting. It took a while to get through customs, baggage claim, and security here; as I said, we touched down around 9:40, and I got to my gate around 11:30. Not the longest thing ever, but this is definitely one of my slower stints in an airport. International travel, huh.

Well, I'm still catching up on my Japan posts, aren't I? I guess this post will be an account of Nikko. Nikko was... a very short trip. Like, we were literally there for two days, and a substantial amount of time was spent travelling. The most memorable part of Nikko for me was the onsen (of course), and that was the first time that all of the girls roomed together. I liked that, it forced us to bond (hehe). I think I started to decompress and stop being all neurotically critical of myself after the Nikko trip... well, I decompressed a bit, not completely of course. 

Wow, this was a boring post, sorry you had to read this one. What happened in Nikko? Hannah?? Oh, the ryokan we stayed at was pretty boss too. And everyone wore yukata and stuff. I also think it was at Nikko where Dorsey-sensei began to realize how insane we all are.

[jya-ne]

A brief retelling of recently happened happenings

I suppose sitting in Narita International as I wait to depart this wonderful country and return home to see my family and GO BACK TO SCHOOL, GOD WHY, I might as well catch up on my blogging. 

My last post was about the Elementary school right? Well, a lot of stuff has happened in the meantime as I'm sure you all have surmised. I think an accurate list of events that happened is this: Nihonmatsu, Nikko, Hanabi, Random Stuff that I remember, Homestay Day, Kansai Trip, and the last week of classes culminating with the farewell party. 

Well, Nihonmatsu was really fun. I was lodged at a Buddhist temple; my host dad was/is a monk, and his wife is well, the wife of a Buddhist wife. Kind of reminded me of a pastor's wife, different religions but you know how it goes, their are similarities in the small things. Well, in any case I didn't do a whole lot in Nihonmatsu; we went out to eat (the unagi (eel) was delicious) and had a nagaresoumen (spell?) party, where noodles and other food was essentially launched down a water slide and we had to scoop the food up with our chopsticks. It was very fun!

A lot of people popped in and out of the temple, so there was a lot of activity all the time. We awoke early both days, around 6 am. The first day I witnessed a Buddhist prayer ceremony; I don't know what they were saying really, but it was very beautiful. Everyone was sat in a circle, and were passing around a gigantic mala. The second day we awoke to an early morning zazen session; I could not sit properly, but that was to be expected. The mayor of Nihonmatsu came to the zazen session as did his wife~ 

It was there that I really understood the kind of formality inherent taking tea, coffee, or just eating snacks. Everyday people would come to the temple, and just spend an hour or two (or more) talking over tea, and snacks; everything was done very chanto of course, and one can argue that this is also an aspect of life for many Americans. But it's a lot easier to be objective about these things when you have weak language skills (and that Fukushima hogen, don't get me started on that, it was so fast) and are more of an observer than a participant.

I'm rambling now, but I'll say that the main thing I noticed when we were in Nihonmatsu was the beauty of the region. Fukushima is still recovering from 3/11 of course, but you can feel the strive and effort people have exerted, and are still exerting into full recovery. I ended that trip, looking over tanbo and catching glimpses of secret torii gates tucked away in deep patches of green. 

All I can say is that Nihonmatsu was a good trip.

[jya-ne]

Leaving Japan in 2 days

It's strange to think that all of this is coming to such an abrupt end. We just came back from Kansai about a week ago, but it didn't really click until today that this was the final week. I'm happy to go home and see my family for a day or two before heading back to Dartmouth, but honestly, I kind of want to just stay here forever. My Japanese is still (painstakingly slowly) improving, and I've just been so happy here (well, as happy as I can be, with  few periods of angst/learning fail thrown in for balance).

I know that I will be desperately searching for ways to come back to this country. I'm too deep in to fall back now, so I just need to accept that I am committed to keeping Japan in my life. And, honestly, I haven't made that many Japanese friends, but the few I have made are worth working to keep; I want to come back and foster these friendships, see where they can go (I'm looking at you in particular Yukina).

Well, this was ill timed, I'm just in a bit of shock. I just looked over my itinerary, and I leave Japan at 3:40 on the 25th. This is real.

I'll do some long overdue recap of our exploits before bringing this blog to a close. Maybe I'll make a funny face or two as well.

TBC

[jya-ne]

I fell into a spell of negativity for a bit

For the past few weeks, I was feeling embarrassment, shame, and frustration over my Japanese; there were (are) a lot of gaps that needed filling in, because I've just forgotten so much vocabulary and grammar since my freshman year; hell, to be honest, I never properly learned some of our introductory Japanese curriculum because I was too busy slight mental breakdowns during my first year of college. The oppressive heat and humidity didn't help things much either; my moods tend to reflect my physical state, so my miserably hot body plus my miserable mind was not a good combination. However, I was set right with some extra study sessions with Dorsey-sensei, some consolation from Evan, the positivity and friendship of my fellow LSA+ ryugakusei, and well, the onsen at Nikko helped mellow me out a lot. 

I feel a lot less weak in class and speaking now; I'm definitely not the most pera pera  speaker however, I feel like something just clicked (probably the extra studying settling in), and I understand things a lot better, can articulate myself better (sometimes), and am less intimidated by kanji and trying to read/figure out the meaning of things, i.e. signs, train schedules, etc. The past day or so has also been a bit cooler, at night at least, which has taken some of my edge away, and I've just been having a pleasant time hanging out and doing things with my friends here. 

I refuse to allow myself to fall into the same trap of negativity that's been dogging me since I started college. I'm not saying I'll be forever positive, forever optimistic; but I will try my hardest to shake myself out of these depressive funks. I can't afford to doubt myself anymore. If I can't believe in myself, why would anyone else be able to believe in me?

Besides, I want to enjoy Japan; this is my first time out of the country, studying a language I've been dreaming of learning since I was a preteen. Nothing is perfect, but what have I to complain about right now? Nothing. I refuse to let myself get in the way of enjoying this moment, I will not sabotage myself for the sake of my own petty insecurity anymore. Excelsior.

Well, this was suprisingly sentimental. I'll post about the Nikko trip and the hanabi in a day or so.

(Also, IAANNN, I'M SORRY I DIDN'T SEE YOU, I LOVE YOU COME BAAAACK!!!)

Jya!

[jya-ne]

this is actually just a text post to preclude a future, longer text post

so it's like a crappy prologue. Hold tight, I'll be back to tumbling soon. I have to catch up on some homework first, hehe. Some things never change.

[jya-ne]

幕張小学校（Makuhari Elementary School)

So, the trip to the elementary school deserves it's own post. After class today, we walked from KUIS to Makuhari Elementary School. We got a little lost, which kind of sucked because it was really hot, but we eventually found our way there. After shrugging off our book bags and putting on alarmingly small school slippers (you also take off your outside shoes in schools apparently, I forgot about that) we were given green tea as a refreshment than walked into an auditorium were there were 10 seats lined up in a row infront of several (very neat) columns of small children. It was kind of intense(ly cute), because no one told us prior to coming what we were going to do at the school.

After the kids did a regimented welcome, introduction, history of the school, and had us (the ryugakusei) do our own short introductions, they performed a folk dance for us. It was intensely cute; they did the Soran Bushi （ソラン節）, the Fisherman Dance. It was pretty intense, lots of bending of the knees and such; they did really well, considering how young they were too (they were in the 9-10 range, give or take).  Dances like that are typically performed at the school sporting exhibitions, so we got a little treat. Here's a video of kids who look slightly older than the Makuhari kids doing it, and then one of some seniors. It's pretty cool!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZH_WcAYKhU&feature=related

and

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2ZiQHTJGMA&feature=related

Well, after they danced for us, we were split up and went with different groups of kids, where they proceeded to teach us things. My kids taught me how to yo-yo, and we all attempted juggling. We managed to juggle two balls, but three was too difficult for me to handle. I learned that both Dorsey sensei and Richard can juggle quite well however,  who would've thought?

Before they taught us our different games, we did mini interviews which were conducted in English; we said our names, and what food we liked, etc. It was really cute <3

I can honestly say I wouldn't mind going back to the school to play with the kids; it was fun. But, after we left, I got ice cream with Evan, Brenda, Lillian, and Tom (Cheng), and after ice cream we went to an arcade where I (with the liberal help of Evan) won a kitty! Yatta!

[jya-ne]

7月１０日（火）

The past few days (maybe week or so) has been pretty pleasant. I feel like I've fallen into the rhythm of life here in Japan, so things are going a lot better. I am not jetlagged, I feel comfortable and (slightly) more confident riding the train, even when we sardine squish in, I'm getting better at chopsticks so eating is becoming even easier. I feel like I'm starting to know the other Dartmouth students better too (aside from the people I knew previously and was already comfortable with, of course), so there's some element of camaraderie with everyone in the group now which wasn't there before, for me at least.

As a recap for those who did not here the story, I went to a club this past Sunday, with Yukina, Brenda, Brenda's host mom, Brenda's host mom's friend and said friends daughter, and a friend of the daughter. We went to Roppongi, which is known to be a touristy part of Tokyo for lunch, which was really nice. (We narrowly escaped a travesty, Brenda almost ordered Natto spaghetti, but the waiter gave us an English menu when he realized she probably made that order due to the fact that neither she nor I can read complicated Japanese).

Things got strange when, after dinner, we went into a building, rode an elevator to the 5th floor and found ourselves in a dark, strobe lighted dance club. At 1pm in the afternoon. After lunch.

Right.

I mean, it was fun, but everything was just really confusing at the time. Neither Brenda nor I understood what was happening; we were not in a clubbing state of mind. The whole situation was awkward yet really fun. I didn't like the music much to be honest, this particular club played music a la Dartmouth frat, except slightly better. I guess I just wasn't feeling the songs because most of them were old. I also felt awkward because I could not dance. I like to dance, but, my dancing was literally too obscene for that place. The club goers were more aligned to the jump in place, rhythmically sway type of thing, then you got the guys who were doing fancy foot work type of stuff, and the hype people. It was also a bit awkward because their was a mix of people my age and older adults, some of whom were obviously shitfaced. Together.

At 1 pm in the afternoon. Yes.

I was, unfortunately, very popular. I was forced to dance several times (おどりさせられましたよ！）which was a bit embarrassing at the time, but fun in that awkward way that lots of things are. Also the drinks were pretty weak, but I don't know if it's because I'm an alcoholic due to Dartmouth, or they just put tiny bits of alcohol in the mix. Oh well.

We left the club around 5-6pm, and then it was just Yukina, Brenda, Brenda's mom, and I. We walked around Midtown for a bit and just window shopped before going home. It was a nice end to the day.

Oh, I forgot, on Saturday Yukina and I went to the gym, where I got to ogle Japanese dudes　（ジムで男性をジロジロした。）Whoever says Japanese guys aren't cute/built, they're wrong. There a quite a few cute ones, and enough built ones to get by. Also, I need to work on my plans of ensnaring a poor dudebro into marriage, but I can work on that a bit later フフフ

The past few days have just been really nice. I might do some shopping tomorrow because, uh, that's what I do for fun. Vain, vapid, consumerist? Maybe. Do I care? Nope.

Well, until later. I have a test tomorrow, and must study.

じゃ！

[jya-ne]

If I don't find a pair of cute shoes in my size in Japan, I will be very disappointed

dammit. I know I'm lucky to have found the sneakers... but I want wedges dammit!

[jya-ne]

went to the gym

and worked out in a cramped room that smelled of sweaty man. aww yeaaahhhh. (no).

But the gym was fun, although the room was literally cramped with two football teams worth of guys, most of whom were pretty jacked. They kept using the weight machines, so the only muscle thing I did was 4 (weak) pull ups that (almost killed me, Jesus). We kept bumping in to them (Yukina and I went to the gym together); the pool was full of some of the same guys when we went there, and when we left one of the guys said "Hello" to me in English. The whole gym situation was slightly absurd and funny. The only time we didn't see them was when we showered and went to the ofuro, but then I just saw a bunch of naked old ladies. 

It's a good thing I'm (relatively) comfortable with parading around naked around a bunch of people or else the whole ofuro thing would've been super awkward. My mom does not approve of the ofuro, so I'll just never tell her I actually use them.

Also, got new sneakers! I've been wanting to buy new sneakers for years, but have been poor/cheap. Since I'm already in financial bondage to Dartmouth, and living a YOLO lifestyle here in Japan, I bought some new sneaks a few days ago! After converting the price, they are about the same as sneakers I was eyeballing back home anyway, so it's not really a big deal. Also bought a bookbag; they are so cute over here! And smaller, which suits me just fine. I tend to fill up my bags, so a larger book bag means a heavier load which means I'll be ruining my back faster. I'll probably buy another back pack before going home; they are too adorable, and cheaper than the cute American counterparts I refuse to buy because they are too much.

[jya-ne]

Today, I met a Kakkoii Dansei

This must be the to go to question of Japanese girls directed toward foreign girls. 

"So, what about Japanese boys? How do you feel about them?"

"Oh, you made a new friend? A boy? Hm. Was he kakkoii?"

Kakkoi means cool, handsome, etc, and it is used to describe cool, handsome guys. I already knew what it meant, but I just find it slightly funny every time someone asks me if I've met a kakkoii guy, if I think so and so is kakkoii. 

That was one of the first questions my host family asked me. 

The first week of school, we were given a tour of campus conducted in Japanese; my tour guide was a guy, Kazuki, he's nice! Well, anyway, I told my family "I made a friend!" because I managed to force Kazuki into the email exchange (email is used for texting as well as emailing in Japan), and the kakkoii question came up once I elaborated on my friend.

"You made a friend? Good. What's there name? Kazuki, eeeehhhh?? A boy? Hm.... was he kakkoii?" 

This is undoubtably my favorite question ever, it's fun pretending I don't know what it means and then having the questioner try to explain what makes a boy kakkoii in Japan.

Well, In class today (We had a joint class with Sekiya Sensei, his students are studying English and American culture). After we (the Dartmouth kids) talked with Sekiya sensei's students about our work in Japanese, we switched to English and the KUIS students lead the discussion. 

I attached myself to Evan, and we talked to two KUIS students about race and family in America (Evan and I had some very interesting things to say on this topic; the KUIS students kind of lucked out by having us, we babbled enough for them to do two projects probably!)

Well, anyway, one of the people in my group was Kosuke, who is apparently kakkoii. I know he is kakkoii because later, when I was having lunch with some girls from the Sekiya class with Tom (Cheng), Lillian, and Wesley (maybe), the girls eventually asked Lillian and I how we feel about Japanese guys, to which we were like "IDK LOL, haven't really gotten to talk to any." We both listed the few guys we did talk to, and when I mentioned Kosuke they gave him the kakkoii stamp of approval.

I better understand the word now from talking to and looking at him; he did seem pretty cool. 

But, this has been my experience with the word kakkoii. Maybe I should do a ketai nikki about it?

/endrant

[jya-ne]

I DEMAND PHOTOS. <3 with love of course. I DEMAND PHOTOS with love :)

but I have photos!! I've taken a few which is a lot for me! And, I mostly go to class and study. I'll try to up my photo taking ante -.-

[brendatryingtosurvivejapan]

Today I had the opportunity to sneakily take a picture of Japanese girls with their ridiculously nice clothing. I jumped at the chance. I feared that I would be caught due to the really clear windows so I only took two pictures of the same group of people. I’m a creepy がいじんですね。

[jya-ne]

Thank you for taking the picture I could not get. You are the best.

[brendatryingtosurvivejapan]

It comes in different shapes and sizes!!!!! Brenda. Is. Happy.

[nightlitstar]

what does it even taste like……?

[brendatryingtosurvivejapan]

Happiness.

[jya-ne]

the attractively drawn manga character depicted in an example exercise for Japanese

[jya-ne]

I know my perception of one thing has changed during the short time I've been in Japan

My view on heels and wedges.

This is a slightly frivolous post, but it's good for me. I have quite a few wedges and heels that I would like to wear for everyday clothing, but  always felt awkward, or that I'd look stupid if I wore stuff like that at home. No matter how many strides forward I take, there's still always some of my old insecurity left.

Well, after seeing all these fabulous women own the shit out of heels (yes, I know heels can be attributed to the patriarchy and are just one of the trappings of domesticated femininity, shut up, I still like them, I am not abandoning the part of me that has been socially conditioned to like heels).

If they can wear heels walking for miles in goddamn Japan and sprint for busses and trains, I can wear a pair of heels around Dartmouth's small ass campus, where I will be able to easily go to my room to change AND it is socially acceptable to carry a backup pair of shoes (no backups in Japan).

That is all. 

[brendatryingtosurvivejapan]

Females in Japan, WHY YOU DRESS SO NICE?!?!?!?!?!? >:O ALL THE FREAKIN’ TIME! ME NO UNDERSTAND! If I manage to sneakily take a picture I shall edit this post with it. PASTELS AND LACE ARE EVERYWHERE ON EVERY FEMALE. I DO NOT LIE. It makes me feel even more embarrassed to be a girl that dresses like I do when I’m around them. :’( Well, I’d rather not walk in heels all day anyway. humph! >:[

[jya-ne]

but actually though, I need them to stop. Just. Stop. JUST. STOP.

what if it’s a japanese conspiracy, and they have created nano cloud technology that makes it feel like you’re walking on a cloud all day, but haven’t told anyone?

maybe they can all walk in heels all day because they are actually walking on clouds?

[brendatryingtosurvivejapan]

Yes. THEY VERY MUCH NEED TO STOP. 

If they had that technology I would very much like to get my hands or errr… feet? on it. Seriously.

I have another theory though. THEY TRAIN THEM AT A YOUNG AGE TO USE HEELS. Yesterday, my home stay mother went to work so my home stay little sister, Hikari, and her little friends took me to Seven Eleven to go grab something for lunch. Keep in mind that she’s ten, in the 4th grade and her friends were in the 4th and 6th grades. They were so tiny, probably as tall as my waist or a bit higher and they were wearing these tiny little heels to walk around the neighborhood! They walked with such purpose, though! I even felt embarrassed to be so big and so … underdressed? hah, I think I dressed more like a kid than they did. 

[jya-ne]

Well, you're right. They actually do learn from a younger age to walk in heels. I think it used to be something like that in America, but we like eagles and freedom and shit so we said "Eff that nonsense!" But it's okay, we have to live with what we have. And I don't think most American visitors are actually prepared for the way people dress here; it's just more casual in America. Besides, we'd all be called vain if we put that much effort in how we dress back home, which isn't fair, but it is what it is.