Professional boop launderer

poyo (Hello, i am Kirb! All pronouns)

[literallymechanical]

You want to close out your Jira tickets. You are a productive little employee and you want to close out your Jira tickets.

[literallymechanical]

no I'm good

[andmaybegayer]

you're mommy's good little scrum master aren't you? you want to improve team collaboration and set realistic timelines. look at that big kanban board, mommy would be so happy if you could identify the critical path for this project.

[andmaybegayer]

you want to look so pretty leading today's standup don't you kitten? management has told mommy we need to improve legibility so make sure you get buy in on the new story point calculation from your teammates. Now run along, mommy has to complete her mandatory workplace safety training.

[rubylang-official]

Hey OP, you forgot to add tags to these tickets!! Get back here!!!!

[literallymechanical]

[blaklyte]

Discord perfec t place to give government id. Safe and secure id very safe with Discord. No problems ever with discord bc discord Trusted and Secure with gov id to prove you are adult. Givediscord ID yes good place for sensitiveimformation can trust discord give government id for safety and protection good discord safe and secure. Friend discord

[babyanimalgifs]

[wormspeddler]

go white boy! get stupid!

[vocabulary-altering-posts]

PHRASE ADDED TO INVENTORY!

[rongzhi]

[pinketine]

That's the best I've ever seen it be put

[segamascott]

[verbnounadjective]

[cart-a-hearts]

Saruman tuning into the Merry and Pippin show

[starry-aaabattery]

I CAN CHOOSE NOBODYYYYYY

[theprofessional-amateur]

Recently on Unhelpful File Labels in the Archives:

On-Going Project. Folders were empty.

Well Written Articles, 1999. There were no articles in this folder. There were a lot of budget reports though.

Stuff. You are killing me smalls.

Section 569-055 Knowingly burning or exploding. This was just papers shoved between files, I have a lot of questions and zero answers.

[theprofessional-amateur]

Some previous “winners”

Miscellaneous Old Stuff. *long sigh*

Other Idiocy. Honestly, this one was fitting.

(R) Man Claws. I have so many questions. Like, SO many

Keep for historical reasons. Neat.

Unprocessed Internal Provenance. Or how I answer the question “so what brings you to therapy?”

[theprofessional-amateur]

•••Possibilities for 2005••• you can really feel the optimism, which almost makes up for the pile of nonsense

[theprofessional-amateur]

Dogs Against Drugs. Ok McGruff.

[theprofessional-amateur]

The Lawsuit. Because in a series of legal files for an org over 100 years old, I am sure there is only one.

[theprofessional-amateur]

Other Crazy. Not to be confused with “other idiocy” which is already in this thread.

[chaotic-archaeologist]

[rongzhi]

English added by me :)

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

You're dating Mr Bean, he's a genuine catch

[chessb0r3d]

[bugtimes]

[ignensis]

[aninals]

skateboard will be so fictionalized that people forget we all have one inside of us. like the war of course but like they arent just fantasy creatures.... its just In There

[aninals]

hey. So skeletons may have autocorrected to skateboard,

[vocabulary-altering-posts]

CHARACTER ADDED!

Skateboards (Real) (Not Fictional) (Everyone Has One) (Living Inside of You)

[smungus]

PENNY NO

[ammnontet]

my nancy comics

Mydream wish for me in the world Is that i want to be the nancy comics maker... Wellcome my dream.

[ammnontet]

[henrykathman]

Thanks to my brother for telling me about this story. [Alt text below]

Back-scratching bovine leads scientists to reassess intelligence of cows

Brown Swiss in Austria has been discovered using tools in different ways – something only ever seen in humans and chimpanzees

[Alt Text: Original comic created by cooltimeonline. A man laying on a therapist's couch, talking to the logo of the Guardian, "Oh the Guardian, I'm just feeling real low." The Tv shows a picture of the cow from the article and responds, "COW TOOLS CONFIRMED," gaining the man's attention, who says, "Oh shit, for real?]

[puc-puggy]

[efeceojota]

[miyoriia]

average Seattle polycule living situation or something

[kaseboy]

fucking double decker couch

[kidzbopdeathgrips]