K.Jacobs

catch me in my journalist hoodie on The Late Night Hero Show™, or in blurry cam footage as Chronos || Engaged 💍 (twice) || stupid decisions are the real enemy. (never put pineapple on pizza) || [Hush Now rpg blog]

[k-jacobs-hn]

OOC UNDER THE CUT

Hi its Journalist Karl Jacobs, whose pretty face all you heroes, villains, civilians alike can find on The Late Night Hero Show™

Under different moons and under the mask of the vigilante Chronos, I usually hop around my country solving problems you'll never hear of.

Hi I'm Thea! (she/her), proud lesbian and even more proud worm-on-a-string-meme cultist (joking, kinda)

And this is part of a blog project..thing,

Set in the world of Hush Now(you were lost but now you're found) - a fic on ao3. And started by the members of the fic's (famous) discord server

Tags ill be using are:

#hn JacobsReports — for reports or mini articles on the hip happenings of the hero/villain world of L'Manburg

#hn karl gives quick lil tips — I've been told I'm really good at advice so here's some for everybody! haha..

#hn LateNightHSqueries — fan questions for future interviews (any questions for chronos can just go right here)

Other blogs part of this project:

#hn karltalks — in character rambling

#thea like da rambles — ooc rambling

@wardens-box sam/warden

@sirens-train-station siren

@bloodgodhn the blood god

@dont--blink ranboo

@chaoticbeegremlin tubbo

@seaside-bakery niki

@thecaptainhn the captain/puffy

@goopyhumanguy slime(s)

(way more to be added)

[sirens-train-station]

I am alive (well... Other than my appending execution) dream stood on my phone (so we wouldn't get tracked or something) so I stole his burner! He has like five anyway I'm sure he won't miss it. There's so many pictures of cats on her- anyway get ready for some lukewarm posts :D

[k-jacobs-hn]

why does he have so many burners? Unless-

[k-jacobs-hn]

ive been offline for too long is the wedding still on?? @dont--blink @chaoticbeegremlin

[goopyhumanguy]

@k-jacobs-hn do you think you could help me convince Jester to put a ball pit into the casino?

[k-jacobs-hn]

Why would i have any influence over Jester of Las Nevadas...haha...

But i think he's afraid you'll get crushed or lost in there....some sources say.

[wardens-box]

Hi chat how much catching up do I have to do??? 😭😭😭

[seaside-bakery]

Idk im kinda lost too 😭😭

I don’t really see any new rp posts on my page, do they hide or was it really that quiet? :,D

[k-jacobs-hn]

Same over here in the land of karl lol

[sirens-train-station]

Have I mentioned my hate of heroes before?

Yes?

Well you're hearing it again. I hate them

[k-jacobs-hn]

Close. He's so close.

Echoes of the crackling of fire bounce off tunnel walls, covering low murmurs.

The last Karl caught of the other two was the concrete of the sewers giving way to cityscape as Dream made the reluctant choice to not let Wilbur bang his head on an overhang. And for all of Dream's stupid decisions, Karl does appreciate the inclusion with the sharing of the address information. Though he may or may not have already known it.

Still, Karl repeats it to himself under his breath, braced against the wall as he fastens a mic to his collar with a camera on the brink of death in his other hand, the two rings he's now wearing clattering against the metal.

The devices are long past any repair or functionality. But the enforcers don't know that. And what they don't know is exactly what Karl plans to use to hurt them.

'Plan' is an overstatement. He has no weapons and even if he did, taking on gods know how many enforcers is a longshot. His main asset here is his identity, being a confounding variable in their mix.

The enforcers have a plan though. They're here to kill him. Kill Sapnap. After Valorant's very vocal mounting disagreement with Shlatt's ideas, his run from the Hero Tower, its no surprise. The chaos and bloodshed above ground would do nothing but help with the cover up of the murder of a Hero.

Terror runs through him at what he might find around the bend.

Enforcers aren't allowed to hurt civilians.

A mantra to coax his shaking hands.

Enforcers aren't allowed to hurt civilians.

"Broadcasting live from under L'manburg city," His footsteps loud to announce his presence.

He sees- he sees Sapnap on the ground, his hands up in surrender-breathing, and if it weren't for the adrenaline he might have collapsed right there from the relief. His eyes begin scanning the man before he even realizes, looking for any injuries. Karl has to force himself to not meet the–no doubt shocked–gaze of his fiance, if he did, he doesn't think he'd be able to keep this going. And instead turn to the enforcers.

There's a gun pointed at Sapnap's head. Two bodies litter the floor. And three enforcers stand behind the first one. Karl is certain there's more crawling in the sewers, searching for Dream and Siren.

Immediately the one closest to him places a palm on his chest, shoving him backwards. But he notices the movement isn't fast, its hesitant.

"Woah woah woah," Karl says, stumbling more than he should from the push. "What are you doing?"

"Don't you touch him!" Sapnap bristles, arms gone from surrender. Karl sends him the quickest glance. Just trust me, he tries to convey. "Leave the civilian out of this."

That word seems to strike true. Hands retract from holsters, the one gun still stays–its safety off. The eyes remain on the camera in Karl's hand currently pointed at th ground, but the enforcers have froze in place. He really seems to have puzzled them. Karl imagines the windows error sound in their minds.

They have to complete their given mission. The secret mission. They can't hurt civilians. Especially cannot get caught bring seen hurting civilians.

"Martha one second!" Karl puts his hand to his ear, talking into an earpiece he doesn't have. "Uh see- see I'll turn it off." He says, pressing a button that does absolutely nothing. "See- red light's not there. Its off." He points to a little light that hadn't been on since at least an hour. Since the camera fell to floor after Dream slammed Karl into a wall–the first time–and scared the interns off.

The enforcer that shoved him nods his earpiece.

"Okay okay, ill take it off." He says, injecting as much nervousness into his demeanor as he can.

"Shut up Martha." Yelling into it one last time for realism before it joins the burning clutter on the floor.

"Being the new guy," I've worked for 6 years. "They sent me to go and uh, report on these- the sewers." Karl explains, taking slow, jittery steps forward, keeping up the façade of the unlucky civilian. "There was a tip?"

"There was supposed to be a fight between Valorant," he gestures to Sapnap, catching sight of panicked face. "And Siren?"

Karl suddenly reaches the enforcer, standing a bare metre away, a hand reaches out reflexively to push him away–but hesitant. Karl's hand clamps down onto the enforcer's wrist with what he prays was not suspiciously too much force.

A wave of pain washes into his mind. He's never used his powers on enforcers. Karl's never even heard an enforcer talk or do anything of their own volition. He grits his teeth to keep his composure against the weird mental restraints sending him a migraine.

"And I may be just a little lost and I could use some help." Hitting them with the classic. "My boss, he's a real angry guy." He doesnt have a boss. "And I don't want to get-"

He hopes Sapnap gets where he's going with this. And when he looks for a split second, he sees Sapnap's brows raise in understanding and preparation.

"I don't want to get-" Karl swings the camera upwards and into the enforcer's face, shattering it and giving him a few dozen shards to pluck out.

Fist clenched, knuckles going across Karl's own face. Or?

A hand reaching for the holster.

But Karl gets there first; snatching out the gun. His anger condenses into a single shot that he fires into the enforcer's neck. The barrel trained on Sapnap swivels, distracted.

"-fired!" Karl shouts out the trigger of their three's personal code before hitting the deck as fast as he can as a blast of fire knocks the rest of their feet.

The flames haven't even dissipated before he's rushing through and when he does properly meet his eyes–theres a whirlwind there to decipher. For now Karl tries not to cough his lungs out and intertwines the hands and vows to whatever god to never let go as he hauls Sapnap to his feet, pulling him towards where he knows the exit that the others used is.

"What were you doing here?" Sapnap asks him, but there's no anger, only relief and pain and fear and so much emotion.

Karl opens his mouth to respond-

Thin black glints in the smoke, whistling as it swing down-

Karl pulls Sapnap out of the way, hissing as a baton slams into his back and hot pain erupts, mingling with his migraine. Shit.

"Oh gods Karl how many are you-"

Himself. Sapnap. Fear in both their eyes, so obvious even behind the Hero mask-

He snaps to where the perspective was from, for a split second a sheen of gold appears. Faster than any verbal warning Karl could give, Sapnap shoulder-slams a figure into the wall, hissing from a wound under his arm. Shit shit shit.

Karl feels the adrenaline weaning. And in a blink, the tie to the enforcer fades.

Except its not enough, and pain spikes behind his eyes.

View of a door, the handle jiggles and open to an apartment he's seen Sapnap in.

He looks to his rings.

Staring at the back of a green hoodie, hands inside a coat.

He mutters and apology to Wilbur before-with a snap, that tie severs as well. The pain fades to a dull ache as Karl hoists their intertwined hands over his shoulder, pulling them out of that tunnel.

He pauses to kick over a stack of alcohol bottles he's placed and he continues on after hearing a burst of fire. All bottles found in one tunnel, who knows how many there were in the whole place. In this city though, he can't even blame the people.

"What were you even doing here?" Sapnap asks, taking the moment to pull out a simple smoke mask from his suit.

"Some of us," Karl takes it, pulling it over his face with his free hand. "Have real jobs." And though he can't see his face, he can feel a smirk in response.

"Karl," Sapnap says, seriousness suddenly having found him. Karl doesnt like it.

"Uh uh, no stopping- no- If you make me report your- death, I will use the drooling picture for the memorial."

"Not the- Karl." He tries again. "Karl, we can't go home."

"I know."

"Then where are we going?"

[sirens-train-station]

I just watched @chaoticbeegremlin stare at a sign on a door that said pull, say 'this can't stop me because I can't read' and faceplant into it. I have not stopped laughing since

[chaoticbeegremlin]

hey siren, sleep with all 3 eyes open

[k-jacobs-hn]

Breaking News

*fun little news jingle*

Sources close to the Syndicate imply Villain Siren may have a psychic third eye. Will he be changing his alias to Psychic? The People suggest Psyren. Or Sichyc. Or Psichren. Or-

Ahem, or will mythologists have to rename the siren to something different, changing historical information. More important questions include- what will his ex-husband(?) Number One Hero Dream think of this development?

We dont know. When asked the sources close to the Syndicate responded thunk before the communication line went dark.

*closing fun litgle news jingle*

[goopyhumanguy]

My body is less viscous than normal. I don't think I like hot weather.

[catmanwastaken]

Make sure to drink plenty of water. Heat stroke is no joke!

[k-jacobs-hn]

have you tried some ice cubes slime?

[sirens-train-station]

What if I just... Blew everything up?

No heros, no villains.

Nothing,

Just a smoking crater we used to call home

[goopyhumanguy]

But consider. There would be no more craft stores to buy glue from :(

[sirens-train-station]

Why am I buying glue from craft stores?

[catmanwastaken]

“To cook with. Obviously.”

*Dream types on his phone, before turning back to his next culinary masterpiece.*

[sirens-train-station]

Please do not tell me you're cooking with glue.

[catmanwastaken]

Yeah, why?

[sirens-train-station]

You're going to have to get your stomach pumped. Please do not listen to slime.

@quackcasino slime is trying to feed people glue again.

[catmanwastaken]

No, it’s legit. I’ve googled it.

See?

It’s a common pizza ingredient!

[sirens-train-station]

That is.

Sigh

Sure, whatever. You can do that, have fun in the hospital.

[catmanwastaken]

Uh… thanks????

[wardens-box]

Say it with me guys.

We. Do. Not. Eat. Inedible. Shit. Please.

I can't do this again

[bloodgodhn]

And then you ask me why I despise humanity. This bunch of flesh amalgamation is talking about how edible glue is.

[wardens-box]

This is only a very tiny part of humanity, most other people are normal!

[bloodgodhn]

No. No they are not.

[wardens-box]

Just give us a chance! You accepted Technoblade, a human, surely you can accept others :D

[bloodgodhn]

Techno made barely count as human. His DNA is 98% potatoes and he has pink hair unironically. The day you can match his autistic drip, then maybe we'll talk.

[wardens-box]

... So humans have to be potatoes for you to like them? Interesting..

[chaoticbeegremlin]

wait back up, we can eat glue??

[k-jacobs-hn]

only when its in pizza i believe

[chaoticbeegremlin]

.... why pizza specifically?????

[k-jacobs-hn]

words of the number 1 hero not mine

...

Dream are you spreading misinformation?

[spacehunter-m]

[catmanwastaken]

@quackcasino is this a common issue in the casino business?

[quackcasino]

More than you would imagine. It’s… troublesome. And they won’t stop even if threatened with getting dissected alive its also one of the reasons Slime doesn’t deal anymore and also one of the reasons somebody isn’t really allowed to play anymore… Like, no you won’t win by eating the other player’s chips 🙄

[sirens-train-station]

[catmanwastaken]

Whoa, slow down! WHY are we talking about vivisection?!?! What the fuck did you DO?

[sirens-train-station]

Wanna see the scar?

[catmanwastaken]

… maybe?

[sirens-train-station]

Take me out to dinner first

[catmanwastaken]

Well maybe I Will. 😡

Fuck you Siren. Would you like to go to dinner with me?

….

Fuck. Um, I mean like.

As a joke?

Shit—Actually, never mind. I hate you.

[sirens-train-station]

Nuh uh. You agreed. No takes backsises

You can meet me at 8. We’re going to a good restaurant. Not one of those overpriced pieces of shit every overpaid loser goes to. You’re paying (obviously)

…

And for deaths sake. Wear something nice

[k-jacobs-hn]

@quackcasino we’re staking them out right? I need to see how this goes

[quackcasino]

You mean a double date with Dream?

[k-jacobs-hn]

i meant in a spy-type stake out situation but yea we could make something out of it 😏

[spacehunter-m]

[catmanwastaken]

@quackcasino is this a common issue in the casino business?

[quackcasino]

More than you would imagine. It’s… troublesome. And they won’t stop even if threatened with getting dissected alive its also one of the reasons Slime doesn’t deal anymore and also one of the reasons somebody isn’t really allowed to play anymore… Like, no you won’t win by eating the other player’s chips 🙄

[sirens-train-station]

[catmanwastaken]

Whoa, slow down! WHY are we talking about vivisection?!?! What the fuck did you DO?

[sirens-train-station]

Wanna see the scar?

[catmanwastaken]

… maybe?

[sirens-train-station]

Take me out to dinner first

[catmanwastaken]

Well maybe I Will. 😡

Fuck you Siren. Would you like to go to dinner with me?

….

Fuck. Um, I mean like.

As a joke?

Shit—Actually, never mind. I hate you.

[sirens-train-station]

Nuh uh. You agreed. No takes backsises

You can meet me at 8. We’re going to a good restaurant. Not one of those overpriced pieces of shit every overpaid loser goes to. You’re paying (obviously)

…

And for deaths sake. Wear something nice

[k-jacobs-hn]

@quackcasino we’re staking them out right? I need to see how this goes

[chaoticbeegremlin]

@k-jacobs-hn can i join? i need more ref for my dreambur fanart commissions

[k-jacobs-hn]

lets do it we’ll hide you in a trench coat

[chaoticbeegremlin]

im short enough to be the head

[k-jacobs-hn]

okay I'm ready

and i cut some eyeholes in newspapers for extra measure

[angiecantsleep]

no gender. just shitty black nail polish

[quackcasino]

fuck, marry, kill

jester, karl jacobs and Valorant

Oh, I like bad boys. So I say... Fuck Jester, marry Jacobs (let's be fr he is the celebrity crush wouldn't mind waking up everyday beside that cutie) and kill Valorant. Not really found of flashy heroes, just have a feeling he is compensating for something...

[chaoticbeegremlin]

Q...

are you saying you'll fuck yourself??????

[k-jacobs-hn]

wheres the ring then random citizen i do not know??

[spacehunter-m]

[catmanwastaken]

@quackcasino is this a common issue in the casino business?

[quackcasino]

More than you would imagine. It’s… troublesome. And they won’t stop even if threatened with getting dissected alive its also one of the reasons Slime doesn’t deal anymore and also one of the reasons somebody isn’t really allowed to play anymore… Like, no you won’t win by eating the other player’s chips 🙄

[sirens-train-station]

[catmanwastaken]

Whoa, slow down! WHY are we talking about vivisection?!?! What the fuck did you DO?

[sirens-train-station]

Wanna see the scar?

[catmanwastaken]

… maybe?

[sirens-train-station]

Take me out to dinner first

[catmanwastaken]

Well maybe I Will. 😡

Fuck you Siren. Would you like to go to dinner with me?

….

Fuck. Um, I mean like.

As a joke?

Shit—Actually, never mind. I hate you.

[sirens-train-station]

Nuh uh. You agreed. No takes backsises

You can meet me at 8. We’re going to a good restaurant. Not one of those overpriced pieces of shit every overpaid loser goes to. You’re paying (obviously)

…

And for deaths sake. Wear something nice

[k-jacobs-hn]

@quackcasino we’re staking them out right? I need to see how this goes

[chaoticbeegremlin]

@k-jacobs-hn can i join? i need more ref for my dreambur fanart commissions

[k-jacobs-hn]

lets do it we'll hide you in a trench coat

[spacehunter-m]

[catmanwastaken]

@quackcasino is this a common issue in the casino business?

[quackcasino]

More than you would imagine. It’s… troublesome. And they won’t stop even if threatened with getting dissected alive its also one of the reasons Slime doesn’t deal anymore and also one of the reasons somebody isn’t really allowed to play anymore… Like, no you won’t win by eating the other player’s chips 🙄

[sirens-train-station]

[catmanwastaken]

Whoa, slow down! WHY are we talking about vivisection?!?! What the fuck did you DO?

[sirens-train-station]

Wanna see the scar?

[catmanwastaken]

… maybe?

[sirens-train-station]

Take me out to dinner first

[catmanwastaken]

Well maybe I Will. 😡

Fuck you Siren. Would you like to go to dinner with me?

….

Fuck. Um, I mean like.

As a joke?

Shit—Actually, never mind. I hate you.

[sirens-train-station]

Nuh uh. You agreed. No takes backsises

You can meet me at 8. We’re going to a good restaurant. Not one of those overpriced pieces of shit every overpaid loser goes to. You’re paying (obviously)

…

And for deaths sake. Wear something nice

[k-jacobs-hn]

@quackcasino we’re staking them out right? I need to see how this goes

[chaoticbeegremlin]

@k-jacobs-hn can i join? i need more ref for my dreambur fanart commissions

[k-jacobs-hn]

lets do it we'll hide you in a trench coat

[spacehunter-m]

[catmanwastaken]

@quackcasino is this a common issue in the casino business?

[quackcasino]

More than you would imagine. It’s… troublesome. And they won’t stop even if threatened with getting dissected alive its also one of the reasons Slime doesn’t deal anymore and also one of the reasons somebody isn’t really allowed to play anymore… Like, no you won’t win by eating the other player’s chips 🙄

[sirens-train-station]

[catmanwastaken]

Whoa, slow down! WHY are we talking about vivisection?!?! What the fuck did you DO?

[sirens-train-station]

Wanna see the scar?

[catmanwastaken]

… maybe?

[sirens-train-station]

Take me out to dinner first

[catmanwastaken]

Well maybe I Will. 😡

Fuck you Siren. Would you like to go to dinner with me?

….

Fuck. Um, I mean like.

As a joke?

Shit—Actually, never mind. I hate you.

[sirens-train-station]

Nuh uh. You agreed. No takes backsises

You can meet me at 8. We’re going to a good restaurant. Not one of those overpriced pieces of shit every overpaid loser goes to. You’re paying (obviously)

…

And for deaths sake. Wear something nice

[k-jacobs-hn]

@quackcasino we're staking them out right? I need to see how this goes

[4mtns]

[sirens-train-station]

Cough @catmanwastaken couch

[catmanwastaken]

You literally kill people.

[chaoticbeegremlin]

ladies both of you are equally pretty

Can we just come together and collectively hate schlatt