
if i look back, i am lost

JBB: An Artblog!
Misplaced Lens Cap

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Sade Olutola

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art blog(derogatory)

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shark vs the universe
One Nice Bug Per Day
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Cosimo Galluzzi
we're not kids anymore.
cherry valley forever
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@k-joyful
Jericho Brown, "To Be Asked for a Kiss"
moving out of my beautiful neighborhood that i may never get to live in again for a niche degree cuz i wanna follow my heart and attempt a career in one of my passions i guess
I promise you things will get so much better when you start processing people’s behavior as information rather than a verdict on your self-worth. If someone doesn’t text back, suddenly pulls away, whatever it may be, the solution isn’t to put on a tap dance for them and try to regain their approval. It’s not to crash out on them and try to force them to react a certain way. It’s just to take a step back, take a deep breath, and assess what this tells you. What’s this saying about them? What’s this saying about you??
Don’t lose faith, even if you don’t enjoy the space.
you think that you're so alone in the world then you read literature from hundreds of years ago and you realize that other people have always felt this way
When I was younger, I was in love with the idea of moving out to a lone island and never speaking to anyone again. I wasn’t good at talking, physically, nor did conversations come easy to me, so I kept quiet and I was totally fine with that. But while the people closest to me rolled their eyes at my wishes (again, lone island), nobody told me how talking to people was fun. Nobody told me how nice of a feeling it was to feel a new friendship blossom, to have inside jokes with people, to hand out compliments and get them back, to ask questions to people who are excited about having the answers, to remember something that someone mentioned last time and make them feel heard, to flatter people, to share slightly embarrassing facts and be able to laugh about them, to have people to say hi and bye to. It took me years and years and years to gather the courage to speak, but it was so worth it. It’s so much fun.
Last Friday I was at my workplace’s internship booth for a city-wide event where tons of creative agencies opened their doors to anyone interested. If you told me four years ago that I’d stand there all night, calming down nervous students and older people hoping to get into tech with my (slightly embarrassing) anecdotes and full-fledged conversations, I wouldn’t have believed you and probably gotten sick at the idea.
Speaking is physically still a challenge to me, as it always will be, but I also know that language is one of the single most important and valuable tools at our disposal. You don’t have to be the loudest person in the room, but the fact that you have the ability to carve out a little crevice for you and someone else by ‘just’ opening your mouth and offering up a sliver of your thoughts is a major privilege. I’m still learning, but the more I do, the more magical communicating truly starts to feel, and the luckier I feel for having the right and freedom to use my voice – no matter how clumsily.
“Do it scared” “do it alone” are all great tips, but my biggest takeaway from therapy is do it messy. This is especially true if you’re getting out of a burnout, which I experience often. Literally just do it messy. You don’t need to pick the perfect trail to walk, the perfect playlist to listen to, whatever the fuck it is. You don’t need to have a meticulous to do list and wake up at the exact time you planned and drink the exact amount of water you planned to drink. Like the biggest thing for people like me to remember is sometimes it’s okay to do it messy. Put on a random yt workout and just get it done in sweats. Do 5 minutes of a daunting task and go from there. Sometimes just getting up is a win during intense burnouts or depressive funks. Literally just do it messy.
This must feel so good to do as a seal