if i jump let me fall @kadriye-kose - Tumblr Blog

► BASICS

Full Name: Kadriye Cana Köse

Nickname(s): Kadri, KC

Age: 25

Date of Birth: 30 June, 1997

Hometown: Istanbul, Turkey

Current Location: Vancouver, British Columbia

Neighborhood: Gastown

Gender: demifemale

Pronouns: She/They

Orientation: Pansexual

Religion: Absolutely none

Educational Attainment: adult dogwood, AA in psychology from Alexander College

Occupation: Peer Support Specialist, part-time barista

Living Arrangements: rents a room in a house

Language(s) Spoken: English, a little Turkish if she thinks hard enough

#( bio. )#vcintro #drugs tw #alcoholism tw #death tw #homelessness tw #addiction tw

sawyer-harris

starter for: @vancitystarters where: haunted hayride (medical tent), october 31st

“–like, I don’t know what they expected from a haunted maze. What did they think it was haunted by, corn?” Sawyer’s eyes rolled at the thought, her exasperation clear in her tone. “But, anyways, then the guy in the Jason mask pops out of the maze and totally scares the absolute shit out of the people behind me, and they just completely bulldoze past me, knock me to the ground, and basically trample me on the way out.” Hence, the scraped up hands and the bleeding knees, the former of which are extended palm up for the other to see, currently waiting to be tended to as she sat on the (quite uncomfortable) plastic chair of the medical tent. “They’re just lucky I didn’t get blood on this outfit, you wanna talk about scary.” Sawyer huffed. Her eyes caught sight of her hands once more, frowning at the stinging sensation as she lowered them to her lap. “But yeah, that’s my story. What’s yours?”

kadriye-kose

Kadriye listened to the tale of woe, one she hadn’t necessarily asked for, as she sat in the medical tent at the event. She found she didn’t mind, though, because it was sprinkled with enough biting commentary to also be a little funny. The circumstance wasn’t, but the way it was described revealed a humor in which Kadriye was pretty sure the girl next to her would be just fine.

“I think people only want to be jump-scared in theory, then it happens and they don’t know what to do with it, so they bolt.” She sighed and shrugged. “It’s really obnoxious they ran you over in the process, though.”

At the request for her own story, she rolled her eyes. “Dropped the homebrewed root beer I was carrying. Of course the bottle broke and there was glass everywhere. I’m pretty broken glass and hordes of children don’t mix, so I tried to pick it up and...” she held up her palm, the deep slice she hadn’t been able to quell the bleeding on, hence the visit to the medical tent. “Pretty sure I did get blood on this outfit, but I don’t have anyone else to blame.”

#( conversations. )#( m; sawyer )#( c; sawyer )#( e; spooky season )

jayesh-acharya:

—

The act of sitting up was a task Jay could not be bothered to attempt. He carried on conversation, sprawled out amongst the pumpkins. “Are any of us here in a physical sense? You know… we could be projections, right now, and we wouldn’t even know. This could be the straight up Matrix, and how are any of us to know the difference, you know? Which is why I say being is fluid. I am and I am not always and never present.”

A tangent that didn’t stop Jay’s tongue from wagging.

“Do I look like the kind of guy who would call a pumpkin patch his vibe? I mean, no offense to pumpkins but they don’t even smell good unless you cook them. Now flowers? They smell good. And even better, some flowers, you can smoke.”

Which reminded Jayesh..

Being high was a distant enough memory for her, one she really couldn’t remember most of the time, that she had some trouble following what he was saying. She was completely certain, at some point in her life, she would’ve responded to any of that with a ‘yeah, man.’

That day was not today. She wasn’t really sure how to respond as the present version of herself -- present in a couple of ways, actually. She was both physically and mentally aware, staying in the moment a practice she’d taken a long time to embrace. She could’ve disagreed about when pumpkins started to smell pleasant, for example.

“Well, if I’m a projection, my projected self is enjoying this more than whatever I am projected from is enjoying sitting in a chair or a tank or as a soul on a different plane,” she eventually countered. “At least here, I can touch a pumpkin or a flower.”

#( conversations. )#( m; jay )#( c; jay )#drugs tw #( e; spooky season )

finneassullivan:

-

Stories were his life blood, no matter what form. He grew up listening to his grandfather tell story after story. It was where his love for the process came. Finn had never been good with talking, but when he wrote, he felt like he could express himself clearly. He loved stories, so when he heard about this tour, he really wanted to go, even if he couldn’t convince anyone to tag along.

His eyes dropped down as he felt a brush against his arm, sure it was just someone passing by. Finn would have recognized those eyes anywhere. He laughed softly at her words, already more comfortable with picking up her tones more in person. Sarcasm and jokes sometime got lost in translation over text. “I hope it’s more normal than not. Think maybe I photo-shopped myself to look taller?” He teased.

“You look the same as your pictures too.”

.

Kadriye laughed, more of a smile with a breath through her nose than anything. “No, I think photoshop is probably used for other things. Like when you’re ordering clothes from a cheap website and they just slap whatever they have to onto another picture.” And while she did have to look up to catch his face, he wasn’t so tall it was unmanageable from her own height. “My best guess was maybe your eyebrows because they’re just so... equal.”

It wasn’t her best guess, actually. Wasn’t even something she’d thought about until it had come out of her mouth. But it wasn’t the stupidest thing she’d ever said, so she could move on without burying her face into the collar of her shirt until he went away.

“Did you think I photoshopped my hair to make it look longer?” She teased in return.

#( conversations. )#( m; finn )#( c; finn )#( e; spooky season )

jayesh-acharya:

who — Jayesh & @kadriye-kose when — October 28th where — Thrill-o-ween!

How he’d been bamboozled into helping with this stupid pumpkin patch he didn’t know, but as soon as he was allowed to ‘take fifteen’ Jayesh fucked off to the furthest pit of the pumpkin patch and ripped his vape until he couldn’t remember how he’d gotten there in the first place.

His eyes closed and didn’t reopen until something, rather someone, started to block the sun. It was keeping him warm in the chilly October air. “What the fu-” He started but stopped as his eyes opened to see a woman standing over him. A hot one, at that. Another beautiful brunette. He could count himself lucky for a few of those as of late, but there was always room for more.

A grin spread, wide, across his face. “Hey there.”

.

She saw the man laying on the ground and was tempted to kick him and make sure he was still alive and able to form a protest, but that didn’t seem the kindest course, to be sure. She flashed to a potential future moment where she’d just kicked someone who was having a medical issue and immediately decided to keep her toes to herself.

Good thing, too, because he opened his eyes soon enough. Had she done that and he was fine, well, it would’ve been difficult to explain at best. Plus, if she was reading the signs correctly, he wasn’t entirely sober.

“Hey there,” she echoed at him. “Just making sure you’re still with us in at least a physical sense. I assume this gig is not your vibe?”

#( conversations. )#( m; jayesh )#( c; jayesh )#drugs tw #vape tw #death tw #violence mention tw #( e; spooky season )

who: closed | @finneassullivan when: monday night | 24Oct where: ghost tour | spooky season event

Every year for the last six years, Kadriye had felt her defenses rise as October wound to a close. There was something about Halloween in particular that had her putting her guard up, protecting everything about how far she’d come. She’d been on the streets, terrified, alone, in the dark. She knew what that felt like. Embracing and celebrating it didn’t seem like the wisest or most comfortable choice.

For some reason though, this year she didn’t particularly want to be alone. The ghost tour seemed like a safe way to venture out, to dip her toes in, especially when compared to some of the other events around town. For some other reason, that feeling increased a little when she potentially recognized the guy who had messaged her so awkwardly on Tinder. She bumped her arm against his as they waited in line for the tour to begin. “You actually look like some of your Tinder pics. Is that normal?” She asked by way of greeting.

#( conversations. )#( m; finn )#( c; finn )#( event; spooky season )#vchalloween

bramwalsh:

…

“My point exactly.” The room starts to spin as he makes his way over to her, his hand in his pocket until he locates his wallet to pull out the little wad of cash he had on hand. “You know how much half those cars are worth? More than you could dream, or you’d find rummaging around these coats.” Sure, she’d have to sell whatever she hijacked but the pay out would be well worth the hassle.

Holding the bills between his two fingers, he extends them out to her. “You could take this and run, or ————” he pauses for dramatic effect and meets her at eye level, “you can ride off into the sunset with a backseat full of cash. Maybe some drugs, if you’re lucky. Never know what the people here keep in their trunks, pretty eyes.”

.

There’s so much about this exchange she hates. The way her head is pounding and she needs something but doesn’t have the money to secure it, but just taking it doesn’t always go well. The way his voice sounds as soon as it hits her ears. The way he takes out money and hands it over to her and it’s so easy for him to do.

Without this, she won’t be eating tomorrow. She has way too much pride to tell him so. Also, the last time she was arrested was a narrow escape. What he’s suggesting doesn’t scream anything about staying below the radar, which she still wants to do for some reason.

She takes the money out of his hand.

“There’s no sunset. The only thing I can count on is tomorrow. Don’t expect you to know what that’s like.”

#drugs tw #homelessness tw #food insecurity tw #theft tw #arrest tw #( flashbacks. )#( fb; bram )#( m; bram )

ferromax:

ft. @kadriye-kose

HE GETS IT, THE WHOLE SOBERING UP SHTICK. after a staggering seven or so years, kadriye köse has finally refused his invitation to a nightclub. granted, she’s only probably been legally allowed to enter one for four years, but still. this new prototype of her life is gonna take some getting used to.

so, dinner. max had chosen a restaurant in the more discreet part of the city. not shabby by any means, though the entrance is placed suspiciously below ground-level, leading to an old, heavy wooden door with no windows, where you have to ring a doorbell to be seated. the interior is almost cartoonishly large for being in a basement, with exposed brick for walls, mosaic stone flooring, and a small fountain in the shape of venus streaming water from her mouth in the center. it looks like the kind of place you might hold your kidnapped beloved captive while wearing a cape and a porcelain mask.

“you sure you really don’t wanna come?”

.

There are plenty of things, people, memories from her past life that are a little hazy. After all, she was marinating in pain and any recipe of escape she could find almost constantly back then. Whether through willful obtuseness or as a side effect of substances, her recall is limited. Then again, sometimes she just doesn’t want to remember.

Max isn’t necessarily part of that. While their connections have been sporadic, on-again and off-again spanning years, she remembers him. Maybe it’s just difficult to forget someone who tossed his entire wallet at the thief once upon a time, instead of turning her in. Her history is littered with people who took advantage, but it’s only sprinkled with those who didn’t. The sprinkles are much easier to remember as a result. And either through some miracle or maybe some mechanism of personal growth, she doesn’t feel shy or hesitant around him. He never invited that feeling before, she’s pretty sure, but he definitely doesn’t now as she turns down his offer to go to a club -- not exactly my scene anymore -- and, instead, counters with a suggestion for dinner. The restaurant he picks feels like another bold suggestion, reigniting a friendly challenge.

Join me.

It’s not the hardest or the worst offer she’s ever accepted by any means. She clings fast to that thought as he leads her into a dark, private place where ambiance clearly means just as much as anything else.

“I want to, but there are a lot of reasons this is better for me. It’s still very good to see you. Alive and ... well?” It’s a statement, it’s a question. It’s what she really wants to know and why she came.

#( conversations. )#( m; max )#( c; max )#( 001. )#drugs tw #theft tw

raleighrose:

“Damn, good for them –” Rose wagers, her lips pulling into a slightly impressed pose as she arches her brows, head tilted as she looks towards the bathroom door and weighing her options.

“Wouldn’t it have been weirder if they had acknowledged you? Like, paused mid-thrust to apologize? I think if someone is desperate enough to fuck in a diner bathroom stall in peak dinner rush, then being stumbled in on is probably the kink, you know? Getting off on the risk.”

.

“Exactly,” Kadriye agreed. Really, had it not been such a public place, or limited the options of others, she wouldn’t have given it a second thought and she would’ve kept the secret, to whatever extent it was hers to keep.

And she had to consider the other point that was made, too. She chuckled a little. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Well, glad I could help them reach that level in whatever way I managed, then. It’s up to you whether you continue that trend.”

#( conversations. )#( m; rose )#( c; rose )#kinks tw #nsfw ish

kimicastillo:

who: open | @vancitystarters , 4/5 when: saturday evening where: roxy burger

No stranger to impulse and heat of the moment action, considering the last place she’d had sex was in a back alleyway, it was different when it was someone else. And when that someone else was impeding the hacker’s plan of action. Kimi paused, forced to heed the other’s warning, frown immediately creasing her forehead and her physical presence stiffening. Very much like a cat that came across something it didn’t like. “But I need to go to the bathroom now,” she grumbled, dark brown eyes pinned to the door. The need for the bathroom wasn’t to use that facilities, it was in need for something else.

The sounds coming from the room she needed access to in order to finish her task only seemed to further disgruntle the strip club owner. “What the fuck…” A couple of steps forward and her closed hand pounded the door a couple of times. “Get the fuck outta there,” she growled like the wild animal she was.

.

“Choose your own adventure,” Kadriye remarked holding her hands up. “I just wanted you to have the facts.”

Before she could opine that it was sweet, in a crude sort of way, the person she’d alerted was banging on the door. Not necessarily wanting to get blamed for interrupting someone’s orgasm, she backed a way a little to create some space.

“If they don’t listen, there might be another bathroom somewhere nearby.”

#( conversations. )#( m; kimi )#( c; kimi )

📱 Harlow & KC

Harlow: 👍, will do. I'm like 5 mins away from the place so I should be home in say?? 30 mins? give or take

Harlow: nooooo

Harlow: don't say that, because then i will cash that in next trash day lmao

KC: Okay. Thank you again.

KC: Ugh. You would.

KC: But I stand by it.

#( texts. )#( m; harlow )#( t; harlow )

📱📲 || finn & kadriye

kc: new phone, who is this please?

kc: i'm kidding, i'm kidding.

kc: am i wrong? you really think olives are gross?

finn: that would have been a ruthless way to tell me you weren't feeling it.

finn: olives are the worst. taste like the ocean.

finn: can i ask you about you now?

kc: it would've been. but if i wasn't, i wouldn't have given you my real number.

kc: don't ask me how that's any better.

kc: the ocean?

kc: sure, but only if you're willing to answer the same questions you ask.

#( texts. )#( m; finn )#( t; finn )

What would you consider to be your fatal flaw?

"Just one, really?"

"I guess if you cluster a bunch of factors together, it could come down to one thing: I'm an addict. If I let my guard down at all, I'll lapse into old patterns that I'm lucky didn't get me killed the first time. I can't really say it's my personality, or even a flaw exactly, but I have to be careful."

#( 10/21 honesty hour )#addiction tw #death tw

odionabaza:

.

“I guess so.” That agreement seemed to be the only possible answer he could provide. When it rains, it pours - situations could always turn worse. Luckily, though it wasn’t like they were blocking the entrance or something drastic alike. Odion wasn’t one to be shocked by too much. But it wasn’t like he wanted to listen to those grunts. The other clearly had a valid point in her comment. “I think you’re on to something. He sounds like he is like bench pressing something that is just way too heavy with those grunts. I feel bad for his partner, not sure how anyone can not hear that as a mood killer.”

.

Kadriye looked back over her shoulder again, but there was no valid reason why she looked. She offered a laugh and pressed a hand to her forehead once she returned her attention to the person in front of her. “To each their own,” she said. “I think there truly is someone for everyone, and that includes sexually. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t caught off-guard. I didn’t know there would be an audio display.”

#( conversations. )#( m; odion )#( c; odion )#voyeurism tw #// you're fine! <3

📱 Harlow & KC

Harlow: Which are you feeling for dinner: Chinese or Thai? I'll pick it up on my way home

KC: Mmm I think Thai. Feelin spicy. Thanks, I owe you.

Harlow: Excellent, can do. Any specific item? I think we have a menu from a few weeks ago in the?? drawer by the kitchen??

Harlow: Def don't owe me; i just don't feel like cooking lmao

KC: Found it. Pad Prig Pao Gai, please. Hot.

KC: Def do owe you. I don't feel like cooking either.

#( texts. )#( m; harlow )#( t; harlow )

rate your tinder experience 1-10

“I think 1-10 is arbitrary, so I’m going to say 1 means ‘I’ve talked to no one and hate the whole thing’ and 10 is 'pretty sure I’ll get married and start a family with someone I’ve met.’ I’ve only been on there a couple of months. I’ve had two conversations that are okay, but I haven’t actually met anyone as a result, so I think that makes it a three or so, but subject to change.”

blink and you miss it mentions w/o names: @decholmes, @finneassullivan

#( 10/21 honesty hour )

If you could ask your pet one thing, what would you ask?

“I don’t have a pet, so that would make it weird for me to start asking one questions.”

#( 10/21 honesty hour )

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

if i jump let me fall