[kafka-esquire]

If you want to talk to me then all you've got to do is pick up the phone and dial some numbers. I don't think it matters which ones.

[tuxankhamun]

sorry kids daddy lost all his money betting on rhinoceros beetle fights again there won't be a christmas this year

[bester-jester]

good news babies, momma just cleared some chump of everything. Two christmases this year. God i love beetles fighting

[intactics-deactivated20211231]

and i don't necessarily believe any of this i'm just saying words recreationally

[fibul]

there's no temptress quite as irresistible as the mid afternoon sleepies

[kafka-esquire]

cant believe its a monday AND i have to go to work

Terrible combo, what were they thinking

[smeared1992]

you used to be able to get a job just by circling a listing in a newspaper in red pen

[fairycosmos]

basically i really wish the situation was different

[fairycosmos]

basically i really wish the situation was different

[fairycosmos]

basically i really wish the situation was different

[roscolux]

need to beam this tweet directly into everyone's minds right now

[kafka-esquire]

My shopping is getting delivered by Mr Car.

[prohaloplayer-deactivated202601]

your mom is a baked potato your dad's dumb ass is asparagus and you are a god damn green bean

[3000s]

used to think you were my bud but i got weiser

[jame7t]

On Friday planet, every day is Friday

[kafka-esquire]

Many of Friday Planet's major religions are rooted in the eventual coming of what they call "Saturday" but Friday Planet's liberal ellite consider this to be absurd. Some of the fringe cults believe in something called Sunday but little is known of this mythical day.

[newsandstuffisee]

[the-quasar-hero]

Man who hates the very concept of life and all living beings: I should design portal websites for colleges and job applications

[paranormal-taters]

hang on i need to review my entire post history from all time and make sure i haven't said anything embarrassing

[paranormal-taters]

awful news guys