big girl, bigger world

Kristen  |  Honolulu, HI  |  Instagram @kristenold Things I like, things I think,  things I feel, and things that make me feel things.

[kahristen]

Lol update

I just got off the phone with my uncle who I mentioned in my previous post that I was “fucking annoyed” with. My mom gave me the phone as she was walking out and I didn’t want to take the call at first because I guess I didn’t want to have to hear him disagree with me in person or something. But I took the phone and said, “Hello.” 

He talked to me about my posts and expressed his concern for my beliefs and explained his perspective. We young people wanna take a stand for something so we stand up for whatever the big issue is when we don’t really know the facts. That’s what he said. Is that so wrong of me to do, though? HAH I agree that I should know the facts, which is why I usually just shut up about anything important. But I guess I just feel like sitting back and staying silent does nothing..... which I do too often. 

(I recently went to this forum in Atlanta that kinda opened my eyes and indirectly condemned my silence and inaction so maybe that’s why all of a sudden I’m doing what I’m doing.)

Posting stuff on social media is not exactly standing up for anything, but expressing our thoughts and perspectives. That’s the thing. We all have different perspectives and knowledge that affect our view on things—about what is right, wrong, unfair, whatever. So I’ve been sharing things that seem so clearly wrong/right to me, not thinking about how it may be incorrectly portrayed in the first place. But in my head, I wasn’t doing anything wrong. Ugh.

Anyway, I started crying on the phone. So embarrassing. God, I’m emotional. Which is why I wrote a form of the f-word in my previous post. I was writing out of my annoyance. This is my personal blog though that no one really sees so whatevz. And this is an update reflecting on my actions. 

I feel better after talking with my uncle on the phone. Kinda just felt like he was attacking me over the internet, but he told me it wasn’t anything personal. Yeah, yeah, I know. I appreciate the call. We ended with, “Love you,” “Love you, too.” I’m no longer “fucking annoyed” with him. 

K wait but I still believe #BlackLivesMatter has a place and importance.  

[kahristen]

Black lives don’t matter

What I mean is that black lives don’t seem to matter, which is why there’s a whole Black Lives Matter movement. Just to be clear, I support the Black Lives Matter movement... or at least the reasoning behind its existence. I will admit that I don’t know every little thing they stand for. OK, I am probably a little ignorant and I know that I don’t understand everything there is to understand about these issues, but even so, I don’t think anyone can change my stance. 

Racism is not some thing made up by people who feel offended. People are actually treated differently and discriminated against because of their skin color, their ‘race,’ or because of stereotypes and preconceived notions about people of the same 'race.’ Maybe people unfairly label situations as results of racism, but I don’t know how people can deny that RACISM IS REAL ??

This post is actually not about any of that. ^^

(I usually try not to use swear words in writing, but what is language for??)

I’m pretty fucking annoyed with these two men who are commenting on my Facebook posts basically stating their disagreement with the BLM movement and the existence of police brutality and blah blah blah (I’m basically just too dumb to interpret their comments). One is a man from church who recently added me on Facebook and is a retired police officer. The other is my biological uncle who is a firefighter. 

I’ve been re-posting a lot of things related to BLM and political injustices. This is just stuff that shows up in my news feed while scrolling and I want to share it. Social media is interesting because we all have different experiences on the same platform. I have a lot of Facebook friends who post things related to BLM or the recent killings and also a lot of friends who don’t. To some people, I might be the only one posting this stuff which I imagine makes me appear a certain way. On the contrary, I don’t see anyone who blatantly states their disagreement of this stuff in their personal posts.

But views aside, I just wish they didn’t have to comment with their disagreements on MY posts. Like, why can’t they just make their own damn posts?? I get that they’re reacting to what they see in what I post, but ugh is it necessary? I kind of want to delete/block them (but one is my uncle): but that also doesn’t really help the situation because it’s like I’m closing the conversation. 

UGH, I’m just so irritated. These same men all the time. It would be easier to keep my opinions about things that actually matter to myself... but I do that too often. I’m more talk than action. Actually, I don’t even really talk, which is why I post/re-post things on social media so at least I’m saying something somewhere. We can’t just completely ignore these things that are happening.

AhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHH. I wish I were smart enough to tell them off or like really defend what I believe in a way they could understand ?

I’m not black, but am I crazy for believing in the Black Lives Matter movement? 

[micdotcom]

Alton Sterling is the 114th black man to be killed by police in America in 2016.

[thugilly]

[imrlyfine]

Sadly true

[lsleofskye]

Shark Fin Cave

[fuckyeahnickiminaj]

[obamacare-bear]

You homophobes are gonna be really thirsty now

[instagrarn]

I recorded my professor everyday

[p0lariss]

*follows dreams* *dreams dont follow back* *unfollows dreams*

[praial]

Greece: Melissani cave, Kefalonia

[fromheretolasvegas]

Reasons to Stay Alive – Matt Haig

[lilsansphil]

[king-emare]

Oh shit. I never realized this.

[divine-noire]

This is a depressing reality every 4th of July.

[kahristen]

me: -cooking something-

me: -reads directions on box-

me: ok -throws the box in the trash-

me: ...... -picks the box out of the trash-

[odegrate]

[psych-facts]

In general, people are not drawn to perfection in others. People are drawn to shared interests, shared problems, and an individual’s life energy. Humans connect with humans. Hiding one’s humanity and trying to project an image of perfection makes a person vague, slippery, lifeless, and uninteresting

Robert Glover, No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life (via psych-facts)

[coolmeme420-deactivated20140530]

I am so bad at conversation I’m sorry if u have ever tried to talk to me omg

[kahristen]

This hike had never been such a journey until this last time...

I’m so out of shape.