matā kai kutu ngā atua

[kaiwhatu]

anahera

or; kangatarangi, kaiwhatu, raharui

māori polytheist (tribe unknown), site admin

18, located in australia, newly discovered faith

she/it/vaer, lesbian, p/wDID

papatūānuku and aituā devotee

[kaiwhatu]

I know I said I would do this yesterday, but I have been feeling down today and so I thought, what better to do than ask the atua of misery how he would like to be worshipped?

And so, here is my tarot reading from Aituā, atua of unhappiness, misfortune and death. Please keep in mind I am pulling from a Vlad the Impaler tarot deck, so references to him will be made in the images and stories depicted in the cards.

Page of Stakes ; depicts chief falconer Hamza Bey. I received this card when asking Papatuanuku how I would best worship her, and it was also upright in that reading. I can only assume this means Aitua wishes to have a similar, if not the same, meaning derived from this card as Papatuanuku does, which is that somebody close to me will be helpful in worshipping him.

Six of Cups (reversed) ; Depicts Romanians honouring Vlad the Impaler. I received this card in my last reading, too. A possible meaning that I've derived is that Papatuanuku and Aitua believe they are history, gods too old or too unknown to be worshipped and remembered. They may want me to worship deities considered "newer", or more "popular". I will not. Or, alternatively, they wish for me to share their names and their existance with my descendants. Divination meaning is: Signifies being stuck in the past, and that you need to move on and not linger on memories and instead think of the future.

Eight of Coins/Pentacles (reversed) ; Has text on the card that reads "I have found an extra ducat!". Depicts a Florincian merchant that had his items stolen whilst visiting Vlad the Impaler. The merchant received an extra coin (or "ducat") alongside the amount stolen - had he not told Vlad about the extra coin, he would have been impaled. One possible divination meaning is: not mistake your work for your identity. It is a common error to overly identify with one's livelihood. This card reversed indicates that you are in danger of losing your self to your work. This would be a big mistake. Refuse to accept such a limited definition of who you are. My interpretation of this card is that Aitua wishes for me to handmake gifts for him as offerings, such as necklaces, bracelets, and things of the like. He also wishes for me to retain a sense of self outside of work an outside of worship - I am my own person, without the world and without all that is divine.

Ten of Swords ; Depicts a man having been sawn in half. Divination meaning is: pain, affliction, sadness, despair and complete and total ruin. This card is indicative of heaviness of soul and of poor conditions one may face. This card does not signal rebirth, but the end of an enterprise, relationship or journey that will cause pain, misery and hardship. My interpretation of this card is that everything I feel, every negative emotion, every fraction of sorrow and guilt and shame and utter despair, I must hand it over to him. I will void it from myself and offer it to Aitua, as he is the atua of misfortune, misery and death. Something terrible may be coming my way, and I will need his guidance to see me through. Alternatively, my current path and/or relationships are bringing me pain, sadness, affliction, despair, and complete and total ruin, and they must be unraveled from the string of my fate.

Two of Stakes ; Depicts the deceit of Hamza (see Page of Stakes) and one of his associates. Divination meaning is: courage, patience, melancholy over responsibilities, fortune and riches. This is a challenging card with many meanings, and often symbolises the melancholy that can accompany great success, as well as the responsibility that comes with it. This card can indicate personal growth or moving upwards to the next level. My interpretation of this card is that Aitua wishes for me to worship him through succeeding where I would have otherwise failed, and by persevering through whatever pain may be caused by the growth I will soon experience - to worship him by being the best version of myself that I can be, and offering the pain of reaching higher to him.

And those were my interpretations. I will be entirely transparent with the few that read this blog; I doubted my faith up until this reading. It's not possible for it to be coincidence that I pull the Ten of Swords for Aituā. Even if it is, that's a 1 in 78 chance, or a 1.2% chance of me pulling the Ten of Swords.

[kaiwhatu]

Finally purchased my first tarot deck! Its a deck based on Vlad the Impaler, and has a lot of depictions on different events during Vlad III's life - it even comes with a handbook, explaining the events as well as the divination meanings for major and minor arcana.

Since I've been delaying worship until now, I decided to ask a question that I felt was most most important; how would I best worship Papatūānuku?

Here are my results:

- Page of Stakes: Depicts Hamza Bey, divination signifies a faithful servant; a man in search of something and with a message to deliver. somebody close to me might be helpful in worshipping her and might be able to offer advice

- Four of Swords (reverse): Depicts the tomb of Vlad, signifies the danger of mental exhaustion and burnout, warns of possibly neglecting personal needs. I assume this means she wants me to look after myself and to not overthink my worship (or lack thereof)

- Six of Cups (reverse): depicts Romanians honouring Vlad, possibly signifies me being stuck in the past, and that I need to move on and not linger on memories and instead think of the future? Not entirely sure what I see this as

- Four of Cups (reverse): depicts the beggars feast, assuming she means it is best for me to make food and burn it for her. upon consideration of the divination meaning, one of us is unhappy but I'm not sure who - alternative is to be weary with how I worship her or re-evaluate how I am right now. although, that's for the upright Four of Cups. The reversed signifies changing (not being self-absorbed or stagnant, and I assume that means in my worship to her - I haven't been practicing because I have been waiting to get my tarot)

- Five of Cups (reverse): has text that reads "No one will be poor in my realm" - signifies personal setbacks being overcome, allowing for growth and moving on from past regrets. Pretty sure it ties into the reverse Six of Cups? again not too sure on this one

I will do another 5 card read for Aituā and one for Tanē tomorrow, so I can best figure out how they would like to be worshipped.

[kaiwhatu]

I have reason to believe I made some sort of connection with Ranginui today. Either that or it was pure coincidence, but I like to have faith of divine intervention, even if it was something small.

Some context, it was scheduled to rain today. Very, very heavily. I do not like the rain (it sends me into a panic for reasons I wish to not discuss), so I wanted to go outside and have a smoke before it started raining too heavily.

And it started raining.

Not pouring down, a harsh sprinkle, if anything. I decided to softly sing the one karakia I know word for word, which just so happens to be a karakia to stave off rain... and it worked.

It stopped raining while I was outside and resumed shortly after I went back inside.

Some may think im crazy, or delusional, but I feel as if this was more than a coincidence.

Ngā mihi nui, Ranginui. Thank you for listening to my karakia.

[kaiwhatu]

It feels odd, worshipping a pantheon that most don't know about.

I don't know what to offer aside from food. There's no historical record if what was offered to the atua.

There are very few karakia I can find that are to the "old" atua, very few methods of worship.

This gives me a chance to adapt, however. To try and find alternative methods to worship, to incorporate methods used to communicate with atua that other pantheons use.

It gives me a chance to make my worship of the atua exactly that. My worship.

A chance to write my own karakia, a chance to offer up anything I can, an offer to sacrifice sacred parts of myself (my hair) to the atua, a chance to find my way through worship.

Ngā mihi nui, Papatūānuku. Ngā mihi nui, Ranginui. Ngā mihi nui, atua. Thank you all for giving me the opportunity to appreciate you in a way that is truly my own.