𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐑𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐘

in life, the monsters win.

[kakuzhu]

y’all ever go through ur old blogs like “god damn dude nice work wow it’d be nice to get back on here and keep building on this great basis you made on this character” and then ur like “but wait you need to work and make IRL money now........” 

[kakuzhu]

sometimes i think about how badass and scary kakuzu is and how underutilized he was and how angry i am about it and log back into here

[kakuzhu]

relectus‌:

                                ⊰  @kakuzhu​   /  /  ❤️′d  for  a  stater !  ⊱

Upon  joining  Akatsuki  Sasori  made  certain  to  do  his  research      against  his  fellow  members.  Simple  curiosity   &  subtle  caution  were  the  driving  factors  in  his  usually  extensive  studies.   He  had  very  little  trust  in  his  new  “comrades”,  something  that  was  merely  good  common  sense  given  they  were  all  considered   notorious  S-rank  criminals  &  here  was  Kakuzu,  perhaps  the  the  surliest  of  the  bunch,  his  temper  had  already  seen  the  untimely  deaths  of  at  least  two  of  his  partners.  Needless  to  say  Sasori  wasn’t  entirely  pleased  by  the  orders  to  join  him  on  this  little  mission. 

It’s  not  that  Sasori  fears  Kakuzu.  Not  at  all.  He  merely  rivals  the  other  in  a  lack  of  patience  for  nonsense  &  if  you  were  to  ask  the  puppeteer,  flying  off  the  handle  &  murdering  your  partner  impulsively  was  surely  nonsense. 

❝ I  will  be  accompanying  you  this  time.  Its  our  Leader's  wishes. ❞  The  deep,  growling  voice  of  Hiruko  asserts  as  the  alarming  creature  crawls  to  “stand”  at  his  side.  He’s  sure  Kakuzu  is  about  as  thrilled  as  he  was  to  hear  it,  but  he  should  have  learnt  by  now  that  killing  his  partners  didn’t  mean  he  would  be  allowed  to  fly  solo. 

Kakuzu glares out from the cliff into the forestry below without truly seeing it. Another partner dead, another round of being passed about like an unruly child to his various babysitters at the behest of Leader. He thought---wishfully, perhaps---that after demonstrating his distaste for a second time, he could strongarm his way into working solo---to no avail, clearly. 

He hears Sasori creep to Kakuzu’s side, but does little to acknowledge him or what he says besides a short, impatient grunt. Then, without so much as a warning, he turns and begins walking to start their descent down the cliff. If Sasori is expecting conversation, he has another thing coming; Kakuzu is in no mood for anything except to find something to hit. Kakuzu mildly entertains himself with the thought and does not spare so much as a backward glance to see if Sasori is keeping up. 

[kakuzhu]

 角.    starter for @itachixuchiha    //    open starter call

Another partner dead, another reassignment for Kakuzu while his new partner is found. The last time this happened, the sheer irritation of being bounced between teams like an unruly child almost staved off his temptation to kill his partner. 

The important word being almost, as now Kakuzu is being dropped off with a two-man team once again. Moodily, Kakuzu sits and glares while they sit in a tea shop. Hoshigaki is who-knows-where, which means the usual background blithering is mercifully gone, and all that’s left is to watch Uchiha have his tea or what have you. The situation is troublesome, but having it borne is silence is far preferable than anything else, so Kakuzu supposes it can be worse. 

[kakuzhu]

  角.    starter for @kyugens    //   open starter call

"Uchiha.”

“Before you leave...your numbers are short this month.” There’s no threat stated, but it sounds half a threat nonetheless. Kakuzu is their treasurer for good reason, at the very least. “You and Hoshigaki aren’t spending beyond your means, are you?” 

[kakuzhu]

   角.    @yinseal​ asked: ❛ have you killed humans? ❜    //    open meme

Is that meant to be a joke? She never struck him as one for humor...when speaking to a deranged serial killer, at least. Kakuzu blinks. He considers answering with maddening philosophy. What, really, constitutes a human? Are any of them, really, humane? The degrees which separate them from animals or other creatures are minute and dictated by individual whim. 

“Yes,” he answers frankly, foregoing the former. “Many. Why, haven’t you?” He considers her. “Although I would say not doing so makes you the abnormal one between the two of us...for once.” 

[kakuzhu]

    角.    @theirnindo​ asked: ❛ well… some causes require a sacrifice. ❜ (from konan)    //    open meme

She can’t seriously think that is supposed to placate him. Impatiently, Kakuzu bats away a wayward fluttering piece of paper and narrows his eyes. “And which cause do you think I’m making money for in the first place?” The Akatsuki loses a few useless members and sudden Pein thinks it appropriate to increase tax on their incomes? The shortcomings and inadequacies of those that died are Pein’s problems, not Kakuzu’s. 

Still, there’s not much Kakuzu can do in this situation---besides abandon ship, he supposes, although it hasn’t come to that point yet. He snarls a little but lowers his hackles regardless, but his glare remains. Pointedly, he says nothing as he turns away from Konan in begrudging acceptance of the new policy. As far as he’s concerned, she can deal with a little rudeness; she isn’t the one that has to tell Hidan that they will be working all the harder to maintain their funds.  

[jamsmemes]

(     *     THE WITCHER 3 PROMPTS   !    

trigger warnings for murder / war.

❛  you always were an unruly child. i adored that about you. now fly.  ❜

❛  don’t blame yourself.  ❜

❛  you don’t know how it is. to see someone you love die. because of you, for you.  ❜

❛  who taught you to fight like this?  ❜

❛  hatred and prejudice will never be eradicated.  ❜

❛  to have a scapegoat — that’s the key.  ❜

❛  kings die, realms fall, but magic endures.  ❜

❛  i missed those awkward compliments of yours.  ❜

❛  it’s bound to come in handy. and, each time it does, you will think of me.  ❜

❛  do anything stupid, and i’ll kill you, too.  ❜

❛  kill me if you must. i’ve nothin’ to live for anyway.  ❜

❛  whisper to the wolves. tell them to stay away.  ❜

❛  i was attacked — had to defend myself.  ❜

❛  once i was free… i shall be free once more.  ❜

❛  come on, let me give you a taste of my life.  ❜

❛  well… some causes require a sacrifice.  ❜

❛  done my fair share of fighting. wouldn’t carry a sword if i didn’t know how to use it.  ❜

❛  have you killed humans?  ❜

❛  i want to see how you manage in a fight, if you can fight at all.  ❜

❛  nothing wrong with having a drink in good company.  ❜

❛  i merely know when to indulge my pride, and when i must swallow it.  ❜

❛  we can fight another time, in another place. where the walls have no ears.  ❜

❛  next time you wonder why i’m so bitter… well, there’s your answer.  ❜

❛  suddenly, i’ve an immense desire to drink.  ❜

❛  i trust you have an explanation for this. a very good one.  ❜

❛  i’ve had nothing but nightmares lately, pretty horrible.  ❜

❛  i was afraid you were dead.  ❜

❛  they’ll know where we’ve gone, they’ll know how to find me!  ❜

❛  if i’m to die today, i wish to look smashing for the occasion.  ❜

❛  women only ever beautify themselves for their own satisfaction.  ❜

❛  always believed attack was the best defense.  ❜

❛  don’t treat me like a child.  ❜

❛  i like it when you smile. come here. everything will be all right.  ❜

❛  i won’t let them take you, you know that?  ❜

❛  you gotta keep clear, stay out of trouble.  ❜

❛  i cannot hide forever. i must face them!  ❜

❛  you humans are so… impractical.  ❜

❛  i’ll remember your teachings always. and the sacrifice you made.  ❜

❛  we all knew what we were signing up for.  ❜

❛  no. i will flee no more.  ❜

❛  lying didn’t always come easily to you.  ❜

❛  we’ve done the hardest part. only got the pleasant bits now.  ❜

❛  you worry too much. what will be, will be.  ❜

❛  you were born to greatness.  ❜

❛  appearances can be deceiving.  ❜

❛  you’re so charming when you try to be funny.  ❜

❛  we may not survive this. in fact, our chances are slim.  ❜

❛  we’ve come a long way, and i’ll be damned if we’ve come to fail.  ❜

❛  i admire your optimism. wish i shared it.  ❜

❛  i wish to leave, go far away. and i’d like you to come with me.  ❜

❛  you know me. nothing i like more than breaking rules.  ❜

❛  what can you know about saving the world, silly?  ❜

❛  you know who i am. and why i’m here.  ❜

❛  how many have you already killed? how many more might you still?  ❜

❛  i sense your pain. i see your fear.  ❜

❛  i don’t feel a thing anymore.  ❜

[kakuzhu]

CHARACTER SHEET : kakuzu

Name :   kakuzu (his clan name has never been mentioned and i never made one up because it never seemed relevant...and he doesn’t like them anymore anyway) Nickname :   none Age :   physically in his early thirties, but he’s 91  Species :   weird jutsu monster 

Morality :   chaotic evil  (dislikes taking orders, will kill for pleasure, has little to no regard for others) Religion :   atheist  Sins :   Greed / Gluttony / Sloth / Lust / Pride / Envy / Wrath Virtues :   Chastity / Charity / Diligence / Humility / Kindness / Patience / Justice Languages :   japanese i guess 

Build :   Scrawny / Bony / Slender / Fit / Athletic / Curvy / Herculean / Pudgy / Average Height :   6′ 1′′ Scars / Birthmarks :   lots of scars lol. most prominently on his face extending from his lips to his ears, 2 scars each on both upper and lower arms, 2 angled scars from the shoulders to his chest, 2 angled scars from his hips up to his abdomen, 4 x-shaped scars on his back (one for each mask), 2 scars each on both upper and lower legs, plus whatever scarring he’s achieved after being alive and in combat for 90 years of life  Abilities / Powers :   ability to use any elemental jutsu because of his acquired forbidden technique, earth grudge fear. also has a body made of threads that has greater strength and endurance than a regular human body. ability to move all his organs to any other part of his body, and can carry up to four extra hearts (for a total of 5) to give him extra lives.  apart from earth grudge fear, he is also very good at earth spear, which covers his body with diamond-hard earth elemental jutsu that makes him nearly indestructible.  Restrictions :  idk what this means but if you manage to kill him 5 times then yeah congrats you killed him. also very strong/skilled lightning jutsu will break through his earth spear.

Favorite Food ?   liver  Favorite Pizza Topping ?   black olives  Favorite Color ?   none Favorite Music Genre ?   none Favorite Movie Genre ?   horror   Favorite Curse Word ?   bastard 

Top or Bottom ?   top Sings in the Shower ?   no Likes Pun ?   perhaps

                           —   —   —   —   —   —   —   —   —   —   —   —

TAGGED BY   :   stole it @foreaft​ TAGGING   :  take it from me 

[kakuzhu]

asaraltu‌:

Though his death had been one that had impacted the world silently, he doubted many noticed beyond Konoha’s walls. For all they cared, he was simply a madman who had snapped for no discernible reason, who had some childish grudge against the village people were beginning to forget he’d helped found. With Hashirama’s face carved into Hokage Rock, his fate and that of his clan were sealed. Inexorably had the slide into oppression and demonization been a slope he had hoped wouldn’t come, that in biding his time in silence, by serving the village by conquering opposing clans to bring among their ranks, that dissension against them would silence. And yet, it was the Senju who had dominated and turned the hearts of nearly every person towards their sun, ignorant of the long shadows they cast. Shadows he’d seen but had bitten his tongue against, wanting to hope and wait that the hurts of the past would resolve themselves. 

Yet, that time had never come. The bitterness against their clan grew only worse until his own clansmen didn’t believe him until it was too late, until he saw that even their eyes had been turned blindly towards the sun. Unable to see the collars around their necks, too. Until now, with only his youngest son at his side with anything to prove towards it. But even so, Konoha’s enemies were abundant and he was among them now, only having to extend his hand and resources far enough to entice them into his fold. 

“What if I told you that I intend to start a war, Kakuzu? And that I mean to kill Hashirama myself? I should thank you for failing. I wanted the honor of doing it for myself,” Madara said with a sarcastic smile, mirthless in spite of it. Even if Hashirama was his brother by blood covenant, that didn’t mean it would spare him from Madara’s wrath, from stealing the most precious thing in the world from him. His clan was everything. His family, his children; their hearts had been turned against him and he’d never forgive the man for it. His clan belonged to him. Every heart, every soul, was his. 

And now, he would make Hashirama pay dearly for it. “I have a plan, but as you know, it must be kept confidential. Thankfully, a disgraced ninja like yourself wouldn’t be believed if he said that Uchiha Madara was risen from the dead. I promise you something entertaining. I promise you lawlessness in what we’re about to do. But most of all, I promise you my boundless coffers filled with more money than you could spend in a hundred lifetimes.” Reserve money that not even his clan was aware of, amassed from years of conquering that had seen treaties bought and paid for more than blood. Of the money he’d stolen from the transactions made to sell off the tailed beasts. 

Removing the kunai from Kakuzu’s back, Madara replaced it in its holster in a deft move, returning his gaze to the man. “Shall we draw up a contract, then? Unless you have somewhere more entertaining to hide.” The jest was clear in his tone, but if he couldn’t have Kakuzu by his side in this nefariousness, then he would find others. Perhaps journey to the Land of Hot Water and take the Chinoike remaining under his wing despite banishing them there himself over a decade ago. He knew they and the other vassal clans of the Uchiha could likely be drawn of people to join him. 

No matter what transpired, he would have his blood brother die by his hand or die himself in truth.

Kakuzu listens carefully at this man’s rambling and takes in his future plans. They are lofty, arrogant goals, but frankly, Kakuzu does not much care as long as he is paid. Starting a war, killing Senju Hashirama---these are all outcomes Kakuzu cares little for. Entertainment? Lawlessness? These are aspects that could only be considered incidental bonuses---if that. He did not, after all, become a missing-nin to have fun. 

He is already prepared to accept this mysterious man’s offer simply at the prospect of pay, but at the mention of his name, Kakuzu cannot help but pause. As soon as the kunai is withdrawn completely, he lowers his hands and turns, expression unreadable but eyes searching, as he takes in the man behind him that claimed to be the famed Uchiha Madara---Another god, Kakuzu internally snorts to himself, and risen from the dead, indeed. The battle between him and Senju Hashirama reached all corners of ninja society.

Kakuzu has never seen a drawing of Uchiha Madara, but he looks about as Kakuzu would expect of an Uchiha, based on what he’s heard: black hair, black eyes, with an arrogant and self-assured air---something that can be afforded if the rumors about his abilities are to be believed. Well, regardless, if this is an Uchiha, then this task certainly just became more interesting. His threads wrestle and press against the inside of his skin eagerly. 

Kakuzu does not miss the joke, but he only replies shortly, “Yes---in clear writing.” It’s questionable how legally binding a written contract will be for two outlaw ninja, but Kakuzu is far too greedy to take chances. He blinks once before saying, “Lead the way, then. How many others have you recruited? What scale do you intend to have this war at?” 

[bookish-nerd-girl]

I’ll tell you a secret… The really bad monsters never look like monsters.

Crooked Kingdom, Leigh Bardugo (via bookish-nerd-girl)

[6blackfilin9]

Konan: Over 20 years of experience in the Akatsuki you have aged 10 years, although when we took you, you looked 30 years. Besides, your body is not subject to aging. How so?

Kakuzu:...

Kakuzu:.. no idea

[kakuzhu]

idk why I've been thinking about this lately but kakuzu's thread body is super heavy because, you know, it's large, which means since it's compressed inside a smaller skin body kakuzu is probably like 2, 3, even 4 times heavier than what he's probably expected to weigh as a human

[jamsmemes]

(     *     BLACK MIRROR PROMPTS   !    

seasons 1-2.   feel free to change pronouns / titles as needed !

❛  i won’t have to do anything.  ❜

❛  everyone’s laughing at us.  ❜

❛  you don’t know that.  ❜

❛  we can’t not laugh.  ❜

❛  nothing is going to happen.  ❜

❛  you’ve got a phenomenal voice.  ❜

❛  you think i’m being cheesy? all right, i am being cheesy.  ❜

❛  i just want something real to happen. just once.  ❜

❛  have you prepared a speech, is that it?  ❜

❛  we’re so out of our minds with desperation, we don’t know any better.  ❜

❛  show us something real and free and beautiful.  ❜

❛  it’s only so much wonder we can bear.  ❜

❛  fuck you, that’s what it boils down to.  ❜

❛  i’m a serial monogamist. i’m staying faithful to my cornflakes right now.  ❜

❛  you lied.  ❜

❛  not everything that isn’t true is a lie.  ❜

❛  you know when you suspect something, it’s always better when it turns out to be true.  ❜

❛  it’s totally batshit crazy i can even talk to you.  ❜

❛  i shouldn’t have drunk last night. next time, ould you try and stop me?  ❜

❛  sorry, hang on. that’s a very difficult sentence to process.  ❜

❛  there’s no history to you.  ❜

❛  you nearly killed us back there.  ❜

❛  yeah, well, i wasn’t expecting you to be there, was i?  ❜

❛  i’ve just saved your lives.  ❜

❛  a wee “thank you” would be nice.  ❜

❛  i should’ve just run you over.  ❜

❛  you’re not going to win.  ❜

❛  why not be honest?  ❜

❛  i was lashing out. i wasn’t even articulate.  ❜

❛  i notice you keep that pretty quiet.  ❜

❛  so i return to my original question, is that really what this is for?  ❜

❛  prove me wrong. hm? speak.  ❜

❛  i’m here to ask you an important favour.  ❜

❛  look, come on, there is a little bit of a conversational drought happening here.  ❜

❛  not big on conversation.  ❜

❛  practice makes perfect.  ❜

❛  maybe i’ll bore you.  ❜

❛  people want to be noticed. they don’t like to be shut out. it makes them feel invisible.  ❜

❛  people just want to be heard.  ❜

❛  you’re a locked box. i mean, that’s a good thing.  ❜

❛  most people are too easy to read, especially if you know minds.  ❜

❛  using party tricks to pick up girls isn’t knowing minds.  ❜

[6blackfilin9]

Just a scratch

[bob-belcher]

[ninjink-deactivated20200812]

         Hi there, Rain here with a sai from naruto rp blog here​!!!! Can you give this post a ♡   &   ↺  if you’d be cool with following and/or rping with this awkward bean? Thanks a bunch !!