Welcome To My Zoo!

Vancouver babe <3

[kalamazoozoo]

Last day of Staycation. I bought this *very real and authentic palm umbrella* for my deck. If I dissociate enough it’s almost like I’m in Bali, except the tourists walking by are talking about their SCOBYs and craft brew.

I reserved a spot at the local kids pool (I mean...Infiniti spa hot springs). I hope they have floatation hoops set up so people stay 6 feet away. If someone does a backstroke into me and touches me with their dirty covid hand, it’s over for them.

[kalamazoozoo]

10 posts! Wow look at me go!

[kalamazoozoo]

Look at me I’m an e-girl. I have lots of liquids I could sell you...used sink water, half drunk can of Dr. Pepper, spilled pickled juice on my tshirt trying to cure a hangover. I just had a nap that made me feel like crap, woke up feeling alone and disoriented. Can’t wait to go back to work. This staycation has been a huge waste of time. I wanted to travel to India to really find myself, shave my head and meditate until I invented a wifi vaccine for this fucking mutant flu. I miss the before times so much, too much has changed and everyone is struggling. I can’t wait until the world hits the reset button and everyone has to live like pre-agricultural heathens.

[kalamazoozoo]

Starting to get back into my hobbies after a hiatus of chaos after moving. I used to sell embroidery hoops on Etsy and maybe I’ll start again. Shipping was crazy and I didn’t make a ton of money. Getting back into illustration and journaling too. It’s not a whole new me, but it’s me 2.0 and I’m a great person! I am enough, and it’s hard to remember that I’m a whole awesome person when I’m single and living a quieter life.

The world is really different now, and it’s hard to do the regular “single girl comeback” activities like clubbing, going to shows, joining new groups and clubs. As someone who’s already sort of introverted, this is a boss level challenge. Meeting people online is the new frontier... hopefully I meet some cool people on Tumblr.

[kalamazoozoo]

Listening to old country songs and crying. Dropkick Me Jesus by Bobby Bare got me back on level 😂 I have these moments during the day where I just lose it, and everything love & relationships makes me sad. Memes usually make me feel better. But those country songs just cut like a knife. Jim Reeves I Love You Because just went straight for the jugular.

[kalamazoozoo]

This pandemic has made it really hard to live my best life at the moment. Everyone is struggling, I realize, everyone’s mental health is on the brink. I’m so glad to have a job, family and friends to check in with. And especially my furry friend Harry. But this bummer summer as a single is really tough. I can’t whisk away to a hostel is Barcelona or go surfing in California. I can’t go to local venues to hang out and meet people. I can’t join in person clubs. It’s very lonely and I think life is going to look a lot different for awhile.

[kalamazoozoo]

Doing my best head cheerleader look today. This blue sweater is my best friend this spring/summer. I feel like a sexy track & field bitch! I woke up pretty grumpy today. None of the hot guys I matched with on Tinder are talking to me. I’m hoping it’s because I’m on the island and it’s a turn off that I’m 40 km away from them. 🙏🏼🤘🏼

Going out on a wine tasting tour of Victoria today. Gonna get sloshed, see my baby cousin, and hopefully get on the ferry buzzed. I got some new headphones at Best Buy. They have really awesome bass, and they were the last pair. I came over with an old pair of headphones that were busted in one ear 🤬🤯 maybe that’s actually why I’m grumpy.

[kalamazoozoo]

Just lying on the bed in the spare room after a day of sightseeing, struggling with acid reflux and secretly vaping which in my mind helps with AR? Anyway I’m so bored. There’s nothing to do here and my one friend on the island is busy.

Listening to sad chill music asking myself “am I good enough?” And oscillating between “hell yes I am good enough” and “I’m not good enough, there’s so much I have to work on, people will find out I’m a boring fraud.” I’m so itchy for some reason. But I bought a sick vegan leather jacket so I’m a step ahead here.

Itching. Burping. Vaping. I am a goddess.

[kalamazoozoo]

Feeling rested and happy here on the island. Went for a walk with my mom down to the bay. Water was a bit murky and seaweedy for my swimming taste, but it was nice to take in some nature and walk around in a quiet neighbourhood. The city can be too much hustle and bustle, you feel like you have to constantly be busy.

Had some wine at the pub and the best crab cakes I’ve ever had. So much flavour and charred nice on the outside, with fresh salsa. Now I’m just listening to the birds chirping, and the wild bunnies are in the yard. Hopefully the deer show up. I love nature so much, just have to work in my endurance in the trails.

I used to work as a park operator, and I loved being in nature so much. I would walk around picking up litter and got paid to look at beautiful serene sights, and wild animals. Deer, eagles, rabbits, bears, coyote. My mind would be clear, and I really felt connected to a world bigger than myself. It was lonely at night when I’d be by myself in the dark and yahoos would come up to start trouble. I had my emergency phone and bear mace, which thankfully I never had to use.

[kalamazoozoo]

I’m on a Ferry to Vancouver Island to visit my parents. The weather is still lovely and I brought my bathing suit hopeful that it will keep up the warm vibes. I got on the wrong ferry and had to quickly get to the next berth. Herd mentality, I just go in the longest line and waited.

It’s been rough on the emotional waters. When I’m by myself in my room, I get very lonely and cry because my relationship ended. All the hopes and dreams I was trying to build with him were getting stonewalled and it just wasn’t going to work. He is my best friend, and I miss him. I have to be more distant now that we’ve split, but I still care about him and being with him is honestly a good thing right now in little bits.

Some time away with my parents might put things in perspective. Being single and trying to have a social life, or dating, is a whole new ballgame thanks to the pandemic. I prefer meeting people in person but it seems like the dating world is all online or on reality shows now.

2020, fuck you. My headphones are broken in one ear.

[kalamazoozoo]

The Beach was amazing today. Hot sand and cool waves, I’m so glad I got to finally have a beach day after all this rain. And the rain is returning this week! Bummer Summer for sure, but I got some vitamin D in today and a fresh coconut. #wreckbeach #vancouver

[kalamazoozoo]

Newly single and just moved into my new place. Listening to a reggae mix and wondering what to do with myself. Spending time with friends is really nice, but I am relearning how to be with myself and do solo activities. New life, new adventures!