Life & Other Stuff

Experiences of what we all can potentially go through but can you tell a positive truth after the dust settles?

[kali-kdoll]

Day 1

As I am writing this today, I find myself in a calm, yet elated state. On this day last year I gave birthday to my beautiful baby girl, Madysen Grace Campbell. This year has been an incredible one for us and I can't imagine not having her in my life.

As each day went by approaching this remarkable milestone, I was reminded of so many things. I am so thankful for the journey and everything that I went through. From finding out I was pregnant, to being afraid of going through Parenthood alone, to realizing that I was built for this. I remember having a melt down in the middle of my pregnancy because I was going through so much at one time, I didn't think I was going to conquer my situation. My older sister reminded me that God wouldn't have given me this gift, if HE, did not think I could handle it. She was right. Every day, I look at this beautiful girls face and I just want to be the best me that I can for her.

In the birthing room, my best friend came to see me just before things had started. He told me that he knew that I was going to be fine, and everything that I thought was so important, would become increasingly small and irrelevant. He told me that I would have tunnel vision if you will, and he was right. I look at so many things differently, and it's no longer a shock to me. I like to consider it, more signs of Maturity. Seeing this beautiful girl every day, waking up to her, seeing her grow, hearing her laugh, it brings my heart the most joy. I never would have imagined loving a person, or being so protective over someone until now. Not only do I want to be better for her, I want to better for me. I know I'm not the only person that feels good when love is seen, heard, or shared. I can't be! I mean c'mon, it's LOVE! And because of this, it makes me want to give love and life to not only my family, but also other people that I come in contact with.

My recent obsession with Cory Henry, Samoht and Snarky Puppy have lead to me that same conclusion. Love is Love, and Peace and Music will always be neccessary. In the last song of his album, Cory Henry & The Funk Apostles, Cory says something that those of us who were raised in the church are very familiar with. He says "Live in Love. Live in Peace. Go in freedom." I don't know about you, but for me, that was a reminder to constantly give life and love in this world. I am a role model, I am a sister, I am a daughter, and I am a Mother.

I want my daughter to be better than me, stronger than me, and she will be. People pour into me and I am so glad that we have surroundings of love, positivity, and light that I can pass down and pour into my daughter. My world has been turned upside down since I met Madysen Grace, and I couldn't be more thankful for the change. We are so blessed, and I can't wait to see what's next. Here's to a lifetime full of laughs, music and fun baby girl, and we've only just begun.

#MGCLife

[kali-kdoll]

Chapter 24

Life is something else man. You don’t know the roads you’re going to go down, or the obstacles that you will have to face through the day or the week, and one day, you notice that this is all apart of you finding yourself. The man or woman that you are going to become, everything that you do is helping you learn, realize, and love who you are while you are on earth. There is so much to learn, so much to gain, to love, laugh, and adore. This past weekend I enjoyed the pleasure of turning 24. For all the love and and laughter that I shared in, is truly a testament to my story. I have been through so much just like the next person but I am so thankful. I am thankful for the people who have come and gone out of my life. The influence around me. The smiles that catches me off guard. My Jordan Year can be considered one that goes down in history. I truly believe that 23 was an awesome year for me. I was faced with so much adversity and more, but I feel as though I gained so much during this time. To feel that your peace, sanity and salvation have been compromised is an unbearable feeling, and it is important to remember that those three things, cannot be tampered with as long as you don’t allow it to be. No one is worth losing your peace or sanity over, and salvation is definitely not an option. 

A few months ago, I received a few confirmations. They all stand out obviously, because it’s my life and what I need ya know? But someone told me one day, that everything that I thought I had lost, I would get that back and more for the my trouble...

(Let me say that again).

I would get EVERYTHING BACK AND MORE!! I have been worried or “pressed” about things, but to know that I have what I need, and I am progressing no matter what, is what is important to me. I will be okay no matter what. I am going to live, no matter what. I will be great no matter what. I WILL BE LEGENDARY NO MATTER WHAT.

I am looking for this next chapter to be filled with even more laughter and love. I am in the progress of opening up and making room for more in my life. More life, more laughter, and even more love. SZA said, “This time next year I’ll be living so good, won’t remember no pain, I swear. This time next year, I’ll be living so good, won’t remember yo name, I swear”. Words have never been so true and connected to my life than these right here. I am a conqueror and I have shared in so much. I am thankful for the memories that have been made and the memories that are to come. I found myself thinking and asking how God is going to top #23 because it was so awesome, but then I realized, I shouldn’t worry or question it. Greater is coming, and when it does, I will not be afraid reach out and grab it, speak my dreams and goals into existence, and not only live, but love with no apologies. I am ready for #Chapter24 and I could not be more happy. 

[kali-kdoll]

Is this MY Life?

In adult life, often times we find ourselves in different situations that we may or may not be able to explain. Have you ever done something to someone and later think why did I? Or maybe they asked, why did you, or how could You? How did I get here? You may not even have an answer when you think about it, but you really do have one. It is the selfish aspect of us as humans. The situation doesn't have to be nesseccarily negative but others around may not understand the reasoning behind your logic and actions. It may have been something that you did because you wanted to explore a different side of yourself. There is a possibility that you became lost in trying to find who you truly are. You may be spending time with people you normally wouldn't, or you even find yourself interested in someone you would never considered wasting a single breath on. Some of us live sheltered lives because, let's face it, our parents knew better and wanted better for us, but for those less fortunate there could be an entirely different reason. And let's be honest, those "less fortunate", may not have even missed out and know right from wrong, also having common sense as a human being. But what about those of us acting simply acting on impulse? What makes them tick? Why do they do what they do? Have you ever witness someone throwing shade, so to speak, and you're like, "Man! I wish I could be quick like that."? Has someone ever told you a story and you don't have any of what you would call an interesting picture of events? I have. What you don't know, is that there is a lot of living for us to do and those stories and memories will come. Some of them we may or may not want to remember, accept, or even explain but as we get older, we go through things and we have these things to remember what played apart in making us who we are. We make our own memories and before you know it, we have those stories to tell to drop someone's jaw and maybe even your own. You can think about something and look back one day to say, "Wow. That really happened? Is this really MY life?" Like previously stated, all of our experiences and memories are not bad, but they are apart of who we are and have helped shaped us into the people we become. Good or bad, don't ever let anything keep you down if you'd had an experience you aren't proud of. Now no. Maybe this isnt where you wanted to be at this time in your life, and maybe this isn't how you saw yourself 5 years ago but think about this... If a relationship didn't work out how you wanted, remember everything happens for a reason and maybe not right away but you will realize sooner or later. If you don't graduate school when you think you will, remember no one can take it away from you whether you finished in 2 years, 4 years or 10 years. If you have a child out of wedlock and that's not the way you wanted to, it is not the end. You had unprotected sex, it's not like a plasma screen tv could come from that. Don't ever be ashamed of your life. IT IS YOURS. We all disppoint someone in our lives, and/or ourselves at some point but you were not the first and you will not be the last. As Michael Jackson said, tell them that it's human nature. You only get one so all we can do is make the best out of it. We fall down but we have the ability to get up. Just remember life twirls on. #PeaceLoveHarmonyJoy

[kali-kdoll]

It Takes a Village

Has anyone that you don’t really know or remember, told you that they used to change your diapers? (In my head: “Okay. Thanks. And?”) Thank you so much for all those years ago, putting up with whatever I put you through. However, I do not remember and have been potty trained for an entire 21 years of life now so, thank you for what you’ve done and I’m glad those memories are precious to you, but I don’t need a reminder. Or do I?

It takes a village to raise a child they say. Throughout life you come in contact with all different walks of life. From immediate family to extended family the people surrounding you come to mean a great deal to you. The conversations and experiences mold you into someone that in the future, is thankful for the hand that they had in raising you. The prayers, the love, the lessons, the discipline all have an impact on how we carry ourselves. From what we do everyday, not only how we speak but also body language, what we say and when we say it.

Train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he will never depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

When we grow up and get out from the hold of our parents, we think and that we won’t do what they do. Personally, I know I used to say for a fact that I wouldn’t go to church as much as my mom when I was younger but the funny thing is that not so much long after that, did it take for me to realize that I wanted to be in church. Going to a small church has its pro’s and con’s. My mother has been in church for forever it seems and she’s always involved with something. You know that person that does EVERYTHING in church? That’s my mom. Marketing director, Minister of Music, Praise & Worship leader, Youth leader, you name it, Stephanie has her hand in it. Besides my mom having been assigned to many positions in church, prayer was reserved for a Deacon that prayed thee longest prayers ever. He could pray you under a table, praying for the kids in the church, going to school or not going to school, the families in the households that were represented. He prayed for the sick and shut in, the doctors who were treating the sick and shut in. He prayed for the musicians, the homeless, any and everyone. I remember when he began to pray for the Pastor of the church, that’s when you knew he was almost finished. Man ole man, you knew that “And Lord bless the father of this house, who is the head of our flock” means, we’re almost there!!! I would look to my brother like, dude, he’s almost done! And we would get excited. “Let your glory fall from the crown of his head to the soles of his feet”. Before, I didn’t understand that prayer could change things. Back then, I wasn’t as thankful for the prayers from my immediate and extended family that covered me like I do now. I didn’t know that that was just how he prayed and there was nothing wrong with it. I didn’t know that I should’ve been thankful that he was covering us all in those prayers. Since I got to the point that I knew what he was going to say, I should’ve been praying with him and not just mocking the way he prays. I wasn’t thinking of how Deacon Flowers and his wife had and have my best interest at heart. They have always encouraged me to continue to do my best in school, in whatever I do. Not to stop just because I want to or if things get a little hard. The Flowers have always lived and thrived, having had beautiful wisdom and encouragement for me still to this day, and have not changed. Deacon and Clara Flowers are the most beautiful and greatest people I have ever known. They have become apart of my heart, my village. When I see them now and think about all the years before knowing them, I laugh at myself. How crazy was I to think that these people were weird just because his prayers took 45 minutes? What did they see in me to always encourage me and love on me? My heart is so happy when I see them because they truly are the most genuine people I have ever met. They have truly supported me for something as small as a birthday dinner, to a huge dance recital, for as long as I can remember.

Encouragement, love, and wisdom are things that everyone needs. Your village is what brings that and sets you apart from your peers. Your village will love you and understand your short comings and even if they don’t, wake up and realize that growth is essential. Keep going and keep growing. Everyday that we are given on earth is a chance to change, to be better than you were yesterday and as you keep growing, you have numerous epiphany’s. You realize the things that you thought were important so long ago just aren’t now. The thoughts we used to think aren’t valid anymore. Me in church thinking, “OMG, why does Deacon Flowers pray so long?”, isn’t a question. It’s just one day, you have more appreciation for life, the people in your life, for everything. So maybe we do need little reminders here and there if we remember or don’t remember those that were apart of us in some way. Don’t forget where you came from, and who you came from, as it plays huge roles in the lives that we lead. As I continue to gain wisdom and knowledge from my village and my daily life, I appreciate those elongated prayers, appreciating my beautiful village everyday.

[kali-kdoll]

For the most beautiful people in the world, thank you.

[kali-kdoll]

It Takes a Village

Has anyone that you don't really know or remember, told you that they used to change your diapers? (In my head: "Okay. Thanks. And?") Thank you so much for all those years ago, putting up with whatever I put you through. However, I do not remember and have been potty trained for an entire 21 years of life now so, thank you for what you've done and I'm glad those memories are precious to you, but I don't need a reminder. Or do I? It takes a village to raise a child they say. Throughout life you come in contact with all different walks of life. From immediate family to extended family the people surrounding you come to mean a great deal to you. The conversations and experiences mold you into someone that in the future, is thankful for the hand that they had in raising you. The prayers, the love, the lessons, the discipline all have an impact on how we carry ourselves. From what we do everyday, not only how we speak but also body language, what we say and when we say it. Train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he will never depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 When we grow up and get out from the hold of our parents, we think and that we won't do what they do. Personally, I know I used to say for a fact that I wouldn't go to church as much as my mom when I was younger but the funny thing is that not so much long after that, did it take for me to realize that I wanted to be in church. Going to a small church has its pro's and con's. My mother has been in church for forever it seems and she's always involved with something. You know that person that does EVERYTHING in church? That's my mom. Marketing director, Minister of Music, Praise & Worship leader, Youth leader, you name it, Stephanie has her hand in it. Besides my mom having been assigned to many positions in church, prayer was reserved for a Deacon that prayed thee longest prayers ever. He could pray you under a table, praying for the kids in the church, going to school or not going to school, the families in the households that were represented. He prayed for the sick and shut in, the doctors who were treating the sick and shut in. He prayed for the musicians, the homeless, any and everyone. I remember when he began to pray for the Pastor of the church, that's when you knew he was almost finished. Man ole man, you knew that "And Lord bless the father of this house, who is the head of our flock" means, we're almost there!!! I would look to my brother like, dude, he's almost done! And we would get excited. "Let your glory fall from the crown of his head to the soles of his feet". Before, I didn't understand that prayer could change things. Back then, I wasn't as thankful for the prayers from my immediate and extended family that covered me like I do now. I didn't know that that was just how he prayed and there was nothing wrong with it. I didn't know that I should've been thankful that he was covering us all in those prayers. Since I got to the point that I knew what he was going to say, I should've been praying with him and not just mocking the way he prays. I wasn't thinking of how Deacon Flowers and his wife had and have my best interest at heart. They have always encouraged me to continue to do my best in school, in whatever I do. Not to stop just because I want to or if things get a little hard. The Flowers have always lived and thrived, having had beautiful wisdom and encouragement for me still to this day, and have not changed. Deacon and Clara Flowers are the most beautiful and greatest people I have ever known. They have become apart of my heart, my village. When I see them now and think about all the years before knowing them, I laugh at myself. How crazy was I to think that these people were weird just because his prayers took 45 minutes? What did they see in me to always encourage me and love on me? My heart is so happy when I see them because they truly are the most genuine people I have ever met. They have truly supported me for something as small as a birthday dinner, to a huge dance recital, for as long as I can remember. Encouragement, love, and wisdom are things that everyone needs. Your village is what brings that and sets you apart from your peers. Your village will love you and understand your short comings and even if they don't, wake up and realize that growth is essential. Keep going and keep growing. Everyday that we are given on earth is a chance to change, to be better than you were yesterday and as you keep growing, you have numerous epiphany's. You realize the things that you thought were important so long ago just aren't now. The thoughts we used to think aren't valid anymore. Me in church thinking, "OMG, why does Deacon Flowers pray so long?", isn't a question. It's just one day, you have more appreciation for life, the people in your life, for everything. So maybe we do need little reminders here and there if we remember or don't remember those that were apart of us in some way. Don't forget where you came from, and who you came from, as it plays huge roles in the lives that we lead. As I continue to gain wisdom and knowledge from my village and my daily life, I appreciate those elongated prayers, appreciating my beautiful village everyday.

[kali-kdoll]

L.T.T.H.

LTTH. My favorite uncle used to say that all the time. Everyone goes through hard times, and everyone has bad days. But have you ever thought about your trials and tribulations being a testimony to the next individual? Someone may have gone through what you did but doesn't have a support system. Someone has gone through what you did, but doesn't know what to do. Someone may be going through what you are but is contemplating suicide. We should make this world a better place by helping each other, not only holding one another accountable for our actions, because not only is that helping but it's brings awareness, but passing knowledge and wisdom. "When you know better, you do better". Prayer changes things, and at the end of the day, whatever God has for you, or has promised you, it shall come to pass. You can make it. The battles of our everyday lives are not stronger than us because I believe nothing will be put on my plate, or on my path that I cannot handle. I believe the same for anyone ever put on the face of this earth. Do you know what you're capable of? Do you know how strong you are? Believe it or not, when things seem to be going wrong and it feels like nothing will ever be right again, Look To The Hills from whence cometh your help. All of my help comes from the Lord. To the one who made Heaven and earth. William E. Rimson put that scripture in a song and it is a beautiful reminder. He may no longer be here but his words of wisdom, and strength will I always remember. He is always near my heart and never away from my mind. Psalm 121