memories dissident

an online diary tbh

[kama-tayan]

i'm sorry.

[thoughtsconsumeme]

[ninsarchive]

[lanalove2012]

[obsessedsiren-deactivated202405]

I like pretty things, be my pretty thing.

[lifesavingorgan-deactivated2014]

[daily-spooky]

[polish-lolita]

[fionaapplemaxims]

HOW CAN I ASK ANYONE TO LOVE ME WHEN ALL I DO IS BEG TO BE LEFT ALONE

[kama-tayan]

i'm getting bad again.

[faeneko-blog]

[heavenn-sent]

Ben Barlow of Neck Deep

[kama-tayan]

of course i'm getting bad again.

i tried to really make sure that i'm not, but, what? i am. i'm getting worse. i've deteriorated slowly over the past few weeks even though i tried my hardest to push out the negative traumatic events that i'm being reminded of by distracting myself and ignoring the inevitable.

it's getting harder to mask. i'm eating and sleeping less again, sobriety? it's been tough. i've not been good with it lately. it's been hard.

there's nothing i can do apart from allowing myself to go through these episodes since clearly ignoring it never works.

when will i learn? will i ever learn?

[kama-tayan]

this is going to be the first time i'll be alone since you passed.

it'll be four years without you this november.

[kama-tayan]

if i continue i will lose myself again.

so i will stop before i do.

i must protect myself.

x

[gothish]

[gothish]