A vault for thoughts, feelings & WIPs

Full Disclaimer: Like a box of chocolates, "You never know what you're gonna get" so, do not expect this Blog to make much, if any sense.

[karatechick1984-blog]

November - What To Do?

Since NaNoWriMo has decided to back AI generated content and I'm just not really feeling that, I've decided to actually boycott something.

But since it'll be weird to not do NaNoWriMo in November, I could always just use their website for it's fun word count updaters and such. Or I could use this much disused Blog as an accountabilli-buddy. Something to update with progress and such.

I mean, I could also just do NaNoWriMo. It's my life, I'm an adult and I can do what I want. But at the same time, not really liking the AI thing, so, I'm torn.

As in most things in life, it's going to take me until November to actually make a decision. But then comes the problem of I should be plotting for NaNo in September/October and getting ready to word vomit in November. Whether I do Nano or I don't, I'll still have to figure out what I plan to do in November.

Whether I allow myself the opportunity to step back from the current WIP and take a break? Do I try and resurrect the Plucky Comic Relief Spy Thriller? Or do I go for something totally new. And if totally new, what will that be, cause Hell if my brain knows😂💯

Eh, I'll ponder it more later. For now, I'll listen to an episode of The Writers Block on X and poke at the WIP to see if anything happens.

[karatechick1984-blog]

Easing Out Of Vacation Mode.

It was lovely to have a week off. Truly.

I'm blessed that I have that opportunity to take time off, to get paid for it and to know that my job will be there when I return.

And since most Saturdays are spent trying to squeeze some creativity out of an already overworked brain, you'd think this Saturday would be easy. That the words would just flow since my brain has had a week to rest and not stare at a screen for 8 hours a day.

Apparently my brain thinks otherwise. Every word has been like pulling teeth. But, I managed to get about 600 words out of 2 focus sessions, so it's not a complete loss

Still, not where I wanted to be but it's also still the morning and there's a whole day ahead of me. Though, when Kev gets home, if it's nice out he'll most likely want to do something outside, and I should join him. I did go outside for a few minutes and it was a bit humid for my tastes but, such is the way of August in New England.

Alright, though I'm totally counting these words in this focus session cause, hey every word counts, I think I'll try and switch gears to plotting for NaNoWriMo because my brain seems to be in a plotting mood. Hopeful for a productive focus session #3.

✌️

[karatechick1984-blog]

Not as much as I'd hoped but, still something.

So, writing wasn't entirely a wash today. About 800 words managed. Though truth be told my motivation and attention span were severely lacking this afternoon. I'm no good past 12 pm and that's just in general, forget about vacation days 💯😂🙌.

Still, managed to get a smidge written, so, not a completely unproductive day 😂😊

[karatechick1984-blog]

I really have to start actually updating this blog. That's my problem, there's no consistency. Or, I seem to hit a rhythm and then I stop. It's all self sabotage and I wish I could just stop...it's just not that easy. Welcome to the jungle that is my mind.

It's a confusing place to be.

I'm on vacation and I've decided to try and focus on writing today. It's now 2 pm and not a word has been written. I've been putzing about, mulling over the idea of NaNoWriMo 2024 instead of focusing on my current WIP.

Again, the self sabotage 💯😂

So, this post is my way of procrastinating from actually forcing myself to focus and actually get some writing done.

Okay, time to actually focus.

Fingers crossed 🤞for a productive Focus Session.

Also, Khloe Rose's "Fictional" is just, amazing every time I hear it 💯✌️

[karatechick1984-blog]

Frasier - Crane vs Crane "christmas squabbles"

Like, 💯🤣 - can’t breathe kind of laughing. Love it!

[karatechick1984-blog]

What's it's motivation? That's the real "Schtick."

So, I've been tearing my hair out trying to figure out what my "schtick" in my WIP is. What's that one thing that no one else has done with Vampires in novels? My unique twist that makes it so Vampires can integrate into modern day society.

With Charlaine Harris's Sookie Stackhouse mysteries, it's the creation of synthetic blood. With Twilight, it's that Vampires don't burn in sunlight, they sparkle. With Hamilton's Anita Blake series, it was that Vampires just always kind of existed and the MC deals with them since she's part of a special arm of law enforcement.

I have an idea that I've been working with, but it just doesn't seem to want to gel into something more solid in my head. Or it does and I'm not letting myself roll with it cause I'm afraid of offending someone.

But you can't even say hello to someone these days without offending them, in some way, so, I think I just have to stick with my apparent "schtick" and go with it.

I bring this on myself and all for fun too, that's the sad part. 🤣🙌👍

[karatechick1984-blog]

Quiet Day

It's been a lovely long weekend.

Lots of quiet time to sit and write, or plot, or read. And I've been doing the first two in abundance, which feels great cause I've been feeling stuck in the mire of my WIP. I keep trying to rationalize the fantasy and...people don't read fantasy for it to be realistic. They read it to escape this world where super powers don't exist.

But since it's Urban Fantasy, I want to try and keep it moderately realistic. The only book I can think to reference my hope for is Charles De Lint's Dreams Underfoot. It all takes place in a city that's like any large city you'd find but there were small, fantastical elements to it. He managed to weave the real with the fantastic with such grace. The same as, to me, Bradbury or Schwab does. There's just an effortless to their melding of the realistic with the fantastic. It's truly remarkable.

And I know that's what I'm trying to do with my own WIP but I think I'm being a little too hard on myself. My writing style is my own. Though I may hope to emulate my idols, I never will exactly because my writing style is 100% my own. So, I have to let myself off the hook when it comes to just writing.

Just let the words flow and worry about editing later 🙌👍.

For now, I'm taking advantage of having the house to myself for a small bit to try and get some real writing down. Wish me luck!

[karatechick1984-blog]

Book Review - Alas, Babylon by Pat Frank.

Alas, Babylon by Pat Frank

"Though written more than 50 years ago, this story of one community's struggle to survive and thrive in the wake of nuclear war, is just as

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Vampire Academy (Vampire Academy #1) by Richelle Mead.

Vampire Academy (Vampire Academy #1) by Richelle Mead

"An interesting idea, of their being different "kinds" of Vampires and their Guardians that protect them instead of hunting them. Mead ran w

[karatechick1984-blog]

The Awakening and The Struggle (The Vampire Diaries #1-2) by L. J. Smith. This was just a struggle from the beginning.

The Awakening and The Struggle (The Vampire Diaries #1-2) by L. J. Smith

"Like Sweet Valley High only with Vampires. It was...a challenge." 2 Stars Pros:  Smith's mythos with Vervain being used against compulsion,

[karatechick1984-blog]

Rough Week.

This week was a struggle.

It all started Tuesday. Stress at work compounded on stress with friends and holidays and all the other insanity that is this time of year and I think I just kind of snapped and rebooted, throwing myself back to mid-August when my anxiety was rampant and I was waking up mid-panic attack every morning.

Anxiety's been through the roof all week. It comes and goes, ebbs and flows, in waves, as anxiety does. The mornings are often the worst but, I've gotten through them, this post is evidence of that, obviously. It's not been easy though.

There's only so much abdominal breathing and positive affirmations you can take before you feel kind of ill. But...it does work. Even since Wednesday, the anxiety's become a little more bearable. It's never pleasant, far from it, but...I think if I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and remembering to breathe, I'll get through it.

I think that's the hardest thing to remember, is that the anxiety will pass. When you're mid panic attack and can feel the anxiety crawling up your arms, it's hard to focus on your breathing and mentally reassure yourself that you're ok, that it'll pass, that these are just thoughts, feelings, that you control them, they don't control you. It certainly feels like the anxiety controls me in that moment.

But the truth of the matter is, I may not be able to control situations but I can control how I react to them.

All easier said than done of course. But...it's the truth.

Now the real trick is keeping that in the front of my mind for when the anxiety rears its ugly head again.

As always, I am a constant work in progress.

[karatechick1984-blog]

Brain Break - It makes me feel squidgy but it works...

How's my WIP going you ask?

Well...yeah, I got nothing. I've given myself the last two days as a brain break. Instead of stressing my mind out even more after signing out of work by forcing myself to write, I've taken a deliberate step back from the keyboard. I've focused on reading (finished one book, almost done with another, so nice) and it's been lovely. I'm just letting my brain relax and enjoy the ride instead of do all the work for once.

Tomorrow I plan to get back to the WIP, just let myself write and worry about edits later. Have to get some more cohesive chapters together to really world build but that's the tricky thing about Urban fantasy. Or at least, my urban fantasy cause it's set in present day Boston, is that the urban parts already built. And I want to do it justice. But I'm allowed to bend things a bit to fit my needs.

I think that's where I'm getting tripped up. Letting myself, like allowing myself the freedom of just, thought, creation, don't think just write what's in your head. I'm struggling too much with the reality of my fantasy but, it's fantasy, it not supposed to be realistic.

But then my inner Robin Williams, Armand Goldman, says, "I know this is a Drag show but I'd like it to be a good Drag Show, if possible a great Drag Show" and I think, "This may have Vampires in it but I want the rest of it to be realistic."

I have to just let myself off the damned hook when I write. Like, seriously Charlie, relax and just, take it easy, let the words come and just have fun with it.

That's the most important part.

Just have fun with it.

[karatechick1984-blog]

NaNoWriMo 2023 has been a struggle.

What started as a Plucky Comic Relief/Thriller/Spy novel for NaNoWriMo 2023 struggled all the way until about 30,000 words and then I put it out of its misery.

I switched gears and let the manuscript morph into a plotting ground for a WIP my friend and I are co-authoring.

And then it became a place for me to stagger my way through difficult scenes that I have to write for my Urban Fantasy WIP.

Suffice it to say, the manuscript itself is a horrifying coagulation of random mutterings from my nonsensical brain. Even I don't want to go back and read it when November's over 😂.

Now, my brain seems to be settling back to the Urban Fantasy WIP but, it's the difficult scenes. The scenes about racism, trauma, just...not good stuff and not easy stuff to write about because I truly don't want to offend anyone with my writing. But these are necessary scenes for the growth of all the characters. It's just emotionally draining to write. So, I'm procrastinating, like now, in breathing off the cobwebs of my much neglected little blog.

I mean, this is a blog, so I'm not gonna put anything earth shatteringly personal on here. Doubt anyone would really be all that interested 🤣 but that's what my journal is for. This Tumblr is simply a place for me to write a bit of stream of consciousness, to let my brain recharge and rest from writing/revising/struggling over the urban fantasy WIP.

I hope to hit 50,000 by 11/30/2023. I think I will. I've been writing consistently every day and have no plans on stopping, so there's no reason why I shouldn't. I just have to write every day. And write more on some days than on others, like on Saturdays. God, I love my Saturdays. Tomorrow will be moderately busy cause of Thanksgiving but other than that, no big plans, so I foresee and hope to get some writing done in the morning 👍.

For now, I think I'll sit here, glare at the Urban Fantasy WIP (YWA for any future posts) and then perhaps read some of The Priory of the Orange Tree by Shannon. All in all, though I'm struggling with writing, I am DEFINITELY not struggling with the idea of having a few days off 🙌.

For now, faithful followers, all -3 of you 🤣, I wish you farewell.

✌️☮️

[karatechick1984-blog]

Instead of working on my WIP or plotting for Nano, I spent 4 hours on typing.com cause the fact that I can type 95 WPM W/100% accuracy makes me feel like I’ve done something with my life 😂😊😆💯🙌📓📚 #WritingCommunity #Goals #Slacker

Learn to Type | Type Better | Type Faster - Typing.com

World's most popular free typing program! Typing.com’s K–12 typing curriculum features touch typing, digital citizenship, coding lessons, an

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"What is it's motivation?"

I don't want to change the world with my writing, honestly. The epiphany I had today while working on the "theme" of my NaNoWriMo WIP was "An awesome life is possible when you fully accept all of your quirks and eccentricities and love yourself. Add Vampires and spies and stuff and that's the core of my writing."

And it really is.

[karatechick1984-blog]

My favorite time is after work, when I set a focus session and try to churn out some creativity. And obviously, a large part of this is mood music. I know better than to put on songs with lyrics, cause I'll then get caught up in the beauty of it all and totally fall of track of what I was doing.

I'm like a goldfish. Shiny! But seriously, this song is like, painfully good. Now, back to trying to write and perhaps putting on some instrumental going forward :).

[karatechick1984-blog]

A Blog being a Blog?! Impossible.

I do wonder what it is that people do to gain so many followers on Social Media. I'm surprised that over 200 people find me interesting enough to friend on X. I mean, I'm honored and all thanks to everyone. But like, when it comes to people who have managed to amass legion of followers, I'm...floored.

Though, it's two sides of the same coin, I suppose. I've never really taken the time to watch the videos or read the blogs/generally "follow" trending profiles, thus, my ignorance.

Since my brain is fried after working all day, I figured I'd give it a bit of a break and blog instead of focus on YWA for a session. My ability to form cohesive sentences after 4 pm is appalling. So, I figured I'd change things up and give this lost, lonely little blog some love.

Also, where else can I write stream of consciousness trash and know that it'll be safely stored in the cloud. That is, until the inevitable "blackout" or other power failure in the not too distant future that causes humanity to lose everything and revert back to caveman days. You laugh but deep inside, you know the robot uprising or other generic apocalyptic situation is just...biding its time.

I used to think that I'd be part of the rebellion, fighting the oppressive new regime but then, the "has crippling anxiety and a plastic bag full of plastic bags" me chuckles and shakes her head. Who am I kidding? However, the apocalypse chooses to present itself, all I can say is yeah, no, there'll be no rebellion for me. I hope to be incinerated in the first blast.