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@karinestrong-ares
“Training isn’t productive, its a waste of time. Its better to just figure out how to run and hide. Any other suggestions?”
“I can’t even being to tell you how wrong you are. But sure, waiting around for someone to kick your ass is always a better option. Yeah but I’m assuming they’re not on your wavelength.”
Alright. I can handle not having creepy masks or weird bonfire moves, but Taco Bell? Seriously? Their so-called tacos aren’t even that good. We should get something else. Exactly. I am the food protector. I know what I’m doing.
Really, Taco Bell is where you draw the line at? They’re not that bad, just the right amount of grossness. Fine, what do you suggest? I hope you do because a bear in winter could do your job and replacing you would be easy.
“Come on, encore!”
“I’m not sure the guy can take another hit.”
“Why am I always the one people send to see potentially dangerous people-Hi I’m Lynn. Sorry to bother you in your cabin but a few people had some complaints about you…”
“And that’s my problem because...?”
“I swear the moment I have nothing but time the internet cant find a single thing interesting at all for me.”
“Try training? You know, something productive.”
“I’ve not heard anyone say that for years.”
“You mean ‘bitchin’’?”
I don’t want to go out there wearing one of the creepy masks everyone wears during the Purge just so I can do the weird fire dance people like to do when they kill someone. Besides, who said I was gonna be relaxing? Someone needs to protect the tacos.
Like I said, this is my version of the Purge. Which means no creepy masks, and a trip to Taco Bell to celebrate a successful hit instead of dancing. Right, so I’m off killing off idiots and you’re waving a burrito around so their dirty paws don’t get on our stash.
“Does anyone wanna go? My gloves just arrived, aren’t they the cutest?”
“Yeah, they’re like totally adorable. Just bitchin’.”
But because you love me and appreciate me so much, I get to be safe with my tacos while you’re out there killing everyone.
Nah, it doesn’t work like that. You don’t get to sit back and relax while I’m off bringing home the tacos and saving the world, one idiot at a time.
“I’m sure if we dig an underground secret passage, it can lead to a really big hole and we can just dump them there. Yes, it’s basically a chai latte, now it’s near halloween it’ll be like a pumpkin spice latte, you know, to spook everything up. Hair is good, anything biology wise is good, a nail, some skin, et cetera, et cetera.”
“In that case, we better get a shovel or two and get started. And breadcrumbs if we get lost underground. So this whole time Starbucks was just peddling love potions. I knew it, why else would you drink that shit? Leave that part up to me. Exactly how often do you cook up love potions?”
If we could do anything, anything, wake up tomorrow and do anything, what would you do?
Start my own version of the Purge. Or get tacos, maybe both.
And why exactly do you think I care?
Because if you don’t take your sad little angst elsewhere, I hear the infirmary is a great place to be annoying.
“I’ll help you dispose of the body if you want. That depends, I’m finding new methods each time, and trying to figure out what makes what happen. Like, I haven’t figured out how to make it last ages yet, but the more cinnamon I add the more it seems to work. And then if I’m able to get something connected to the person intended, as well as the one they will fall for, it can be really strong but it’s hard to get things like that without them knowing. Like, blood of both persons would probably work really well but I don’t know about just going up to them with a knife, you know?”
“Help would be appreciated. I need to find a new place, my usual spot is all full. Cinnamon? I didn’t realise that a love potion was basically a chai latte. I mean, I could easily get blood from them but Chiron would probably get me into deep shit. What about hair?”
“And you don`t know who you`re stepping on.”
“What a coincidence. I happen not to care.”
Can I help you, motherfucker?
Yeah. You can go brood somewhere else. I’m trying to train, it’s distracting.
You and I both hun. -holds it out to her and pats the ground next to her-
Karine took the takeout from her and sat down next to her. “Chinese food is the real food of the gods.”
“You mean you should.”
“Considering that I’m the one still standing, I think I know exactly where I’m going.”
