Summary: Aemond doesn't lose control, every movement of his is studied and planned, that is until her.
Warnings: MDNI, smut, angst/comfort, unprotected p in v, talks of pregnancy and miscarriage, mentions of blood, medical procedures, ooc!aemond, aged up Aemond, mentions of infidelity, mentions of toxic relationships, let me know if I missed any.
Author's note: No use of y/n. I tried my best to not have any physical descriptions for reader but I might have missed some, sorry.
Her father and her have very different definitions of ‘care’. She stalled and stalled and when she could not avoid it anymore, she met her betrothed. The man had a certain reputation spread through whispers and gossip. They were alone together and he barely talked. She didn’t let it unnerve her, all for the better, she thought.
And then they got married, in a modest ceremony - modest by Targaryen standards, his family. Hers now.
Unforgiveable ||
Aemond Targaryen x Reader (Modern!AU)
Aemond Targaryen x Reader (she/her)
(Modern!AU)
Summary: Aemond doesn't lose control, every movement of his is studied and planned, that is until her.
Warnings: MDNI, smut, angst/comfort, unprotected p in v, talks of pregnancy and miscarriage, mentions of blood, medical procedures, ooc!aemond, aged up Aemond, mentions of infidelity, mentions of toxic relationships, let me know if I missed any.
Author's note: No use of y/n. I tried my best to not have any physical descriptions for reader but I might have missed some, sorry.
Chapter 6
It doesn’t take long for word to arrive at her family’s home. So quick in fact that her mother has arrived, alone, to talk to her. Her mother is busy, busy being a wife, busy maintaining her home. She rarely goes out.
“Your father has never-” Her mother starts.
“Please don’t.” She curls smaller into herself. The blanket serves a thin barrier between them. “I don’t wanna see him or talk to him.” She says with a finality.
“I also know what you’re going to say.” She closes her eyes. “That he has never been unfaithful. I know.”
As far as she knows, her father never broke his vows when it came to looking for other women. He broke his vows in other ways. The night before her wedding, her mother came to her just like this. Trying to placate her. “Your father is a good man, a good provider for us. You kids might not have noticed… but I appreciate him for that.”
What good is money if you can’t raise children in a loving, safe home? Her father was the kind of parent that children avoided seeing, the kind that would come home and everyone would scatter away.
If he didn’t like that, he didn’t say it. They were amicable enough when they talked but that’s it. She doesn’t like her father that much. He’s just there and that’s the problem. He simply exists, like a doll. She could never talk to him in confidence. He didn’t stay long enough for it.
“You’re a woman now, a married woman” Her mother’s words ring closer, whatever she’s going to say she is going to hate.
“What are you trying to say?” She screws her eyes shut again. Trying to escape from this conversation, this room, her mother.
“You shouldn’t throw tantrums.” The softest voice ever in this conversation grips her attention.
She has not. She has barely cried. She allows herself to cry but no tears come, it is a mystery. If anything came easy to her, it was expressing emotion- anger, joy, even sorrow. She would laugh if she wanted, cry if she needed. But not this time. The situation has robbed her of her emotions. Everything feels dull and numb. Maybe if she gets angry with her mom, she’ll feel something even if she is blameless.
“Dad has ruined you.” She believed it to be true. Her mother has endured a lot in her own marriage, grounds for divorce she believes but still her mother has stayed with her father. Gods know why.
“You want me to be the same as you? to be a doting wife, submissive, doesn’t nag or complain.” A perfect little wife? “Is that it?” Shuffling away from her, she lies on her side. It is cruel to be said outright but this has been bubbling up for a long time. Maybe she hadn’t said it out loud but she had hoped her mother would leave years ago. She is still hoping.
She hears the clock tick with how her words have robbed the room of air and everything else. Sighing, she sits up unsure if she should make the situation better or worse. Her mother was right. This is a tantrum unbefitting of a grown woman.
“Please just go. I’m tired.” She drags one long gaze towards her mother’s form. She’s gotten older, beautiful but still ragged from time. It saddens her, how quickly time has passed for her.
“You’ll make the right decision.” Whispered in the air. It didn’t feel like a goodbye but it had a finality she dreaded.
Days bleed into weeks. Her eye heals, every day the bruises fade and change in color. In truth, she didn’t want anyone to see her bruised face, at least not until the colors fade before she goes back to the hospital. If Helaena was right then a doctor’s appointment is much needed.
She also tries to stamp her sadness down. She needs to be healthy physically and emotionally. She eats when she needs to, sleeps when she’s sleepy and exercises daily. Movies, books and music are consumed and when the bruises had faded, she got herself a hospital appointment.
The confirmation of her pregnancy was as mundane as her recent sadness. Helaena was right after all. She got Aemond’s driver to take her for an appointment, she knew there was a risk that Aemond would be told before she was ready to tell. She didn’t mind. It’s their child, he had a right to know.
Aemond hadn’t talked to her, he only comes home to sleep. He’s always busy, that, and their uncle Daemon and a few higher executives were facing legal troubles because of the publication. A lot of legal maneuvers had ensued, leading to the publication being taken down, along with the incriminating pictures. The pictures which were burned in her mind were slowly and painfully fading away.
She didn’t want to forget, and there is nothing to forgive since no apology was given and yet she slowly, agonizingly is doing just that – forgiving and forgetting.
She wishes that her mother hadn’t said she would make the right decision because she feels she never will.
Aemond had developed a habit recently of silently checking on his wife. As soon as he came home, late, he would open the door to her bedroom. A quick glance to see if she sleeping and safe.
Tonight, her bedroom was empty.
“It’s cold.” Aemond calls out to her. He keeps his distance in case his wife chooses to flee. She was in the gardens standing there with a flashlight pointed towards the flowerbeds. Her were arms hugged to her chest, as she paced.
Humming, she turns to face him. He looks so tired, they’re the same in that regard. She hugs herself to prevent from shaking, swallowing to steady her voice. “It’s not that cold.” A weak smile appears on her lips, the first in a long time.
She should despise him but mostly she just feels self-pity. She looks behind him, that big old house with Aemond barely being home and with her nothing to do, what is to happen to their child? Would they be as lonely as she feels now?
“About what happened, I-” He starts.
“It doesn’t matter now.” We have a child. She wants to say it but the words just don’t come to her.
“What?” Aemond steps closer to her.
She knew it was just a marriage of convenience. At first, she hoped for more, it was naivety. He would take up lovers, he would ignore her, he would be cruel- those were all the possibilities she was thinking about. Her wishful thinking vanished when he started treating her like how a wife should be treated but she guessed that was just an illusion.
“Listen, Aemond… Is that woman your lover? Is she pregnant? Why did you need to humiliate me in that way? You could have just left me. And then we went on that honeymoon with you pretending like nothing happened!” She swallows hard, reaching for the piece of paper she was mulling over the whole day. It doesn’t feel good to be saying all of it. But these are the thoughts that had been plaguing her.
All the pretending is what made things worse. She was enjoying the honeymoon with this unknowingly looming over her. Having given a few short days of wedded bliss all to be taken away cruelly.
Tears prick at his eyes. She can see him move closer to her. The pain on his face visible to her. Her face crumples seeing his pained expression. It would be easier if he didn’t seem to care.
“I don’t know what to do.” She admits in a whisper, handing him the sonography scan of their baby, voice hoarse and the unrelenting tears pouring from her eyes making her vision blurry.
She didn’t want to see his face, didn’t want to see the realization of her condition dawning on him, she couldn’t bear it. So, she hurriedly walks past him, escaping to her room.
*
Most times, she reads in the library where she cannot see anyone for hours. She falls asleep there too, curled up in a cozy corner. Mrs. Colson has been dismissed for a little while. She doesn’t know the reason. She just hopes she’s healthy.
She just waits, for one day she may be dismissed like Mrs. Colson, permanently. When it happens, she will panic but for now she gets to live another day under his roof. Safe, not hungry and warm.
It is difficult to face reality, especially with her belly not yet showing and Aemond has yet to acknowledge their child. Her thoughts are interrupted when she hears the heavy door of the library push in.
“Dinner.” He says plainly, like she’s a dog he trained. No affect in his voice, just neutrality.
“Where is Mrs. Colson?” She asks in a small voice, eyes skimming on the pages of the book in her hands.
“I sent her home.” Aemond huffs, standing stiffly by the door.
“Why?” Her eyebrows furrow, looking up to give him a glance.
“Hm. She requested it.” He folds his hands in front of him. Closed off, impatient.
With Mrs. Colson almost always gone, she dreads what else she would get up to if not to chat with her while she worked. More books, movies and music to consume all alone?
“This weekend, will you be busy?” Closing her book, she stands to approach him. When he doesn’t say anything, she touches her hand to his. “Let’s do something together, or you can rest here and-”
He snatches his hand away, walking off.
“Dinner.” She hears him but only comes down when she’s ready.
Dinner was a simple affair. It was just them and the clinking of utensils against their plates. The silence deafening. Her stomach turns a bit when she smells the roasted chicken but she managed a few bites.
She debates leaving as soon as she’s done but his gaze pins her in place. Aemond tells her he means to go to the doctors with her for her next checkup, she simply nods in agreement. When he’s done talking, she looks up, and stands to leave.
It is scary how she pulls him from some deep, dark thoughts. When he wakes, the first thing he thinks about is her. Unfortunately, distance has grown between them. It is his fault and his learned way of behaving, of protecting himself. Aemond knows he’s destroying their marriage and possibly the life of a child, theirs.
“Thank you for dinner.” She mumbles, thinking he probably didn’t even hear her.
“You didn’t like it?” Aemond whispers back.
“The chicken… it doesn’t agree with me.” She turns back to face him, trying to make her voice heard
“I can make something else.” He stands abruptly, hands swatting at his utensils.
“It’s okay. Not really that hungry.” She cringes, hating how cordial they sound with each other now. How soft and practiced she is around him, like when they first wed.
She flees to her room, not waiting around for an answer. Sighing, she debates going back down and finding something else to eat. Deciding against it, she just gets ready for bed. She was about to reach for her eye ointment when she remembered, she ran out last night.
With much hesitation, she dressed to go out, huffing as she hears her starving belly make a sound.
“What are you doing dressed up?” Aemond has opened her door, a plate of food in his hand.
“Can I borrow a car? My eye ointment ran out last night and I just remembered…” She is hesitant but doesn’t feel like she’s imposing too much and it’s not that late in the night.
“I can get someone to do-” Aemond doesn’t like the idea of her driving alone and at night too.
“It’ll be quick, I don’t want to disturb anyone.” She cringes as soon as she hears herself interrupt him.
“I’ll drive you.” Aemond turns to leave her room, leaving the plate of food on the dining room table.
Filling a prescription should be easy enough and she’s relieved that she has someone with her to get it. They agreed to meet back at the parking lot. She filled her prescription and a few other essentials, when she was about to head for the parking lot a delicious, sweet smell redirected her footsteps. Cinnamon rolls, she just had to get some.
Aemond was on a mission on his own, at first he wanders then he spots a bookstore. Satisfied with his purchase he walks back to the parking lot only to be met with a… nuisance.
“It’s definitely theirs.” A couple of young teens surround his car like a bunch of ants surround a granule of sugar.
“Take a pic of me, quick!” One of them hollers, their laughs grating on his ears.
“Delete that.” Aemond approaches.
“No, man. It’s just a picture.” They mill about, sizing Aemond up.
“Delete it now.” He commands.
She sees this and quickly approaches, scared to cause more trouble. Aemond’s silence often leads to certain uncomfortable circumstances. It gets worse when he speaks and he’s stern.
“Honey! Darling!” She calls out.
“Hi!” She holds Aemonds hand, her voice sickly sweet. She’s thankful this time he doesn’t pull away.
“Are you ready to go?” She smiles up at him, still sweet. Still pretending to be the perfect, doting wife.
“Hmm.” The sound is clipped, threatening even.
“You seem like nice boys, do you want some cinnamon rolls?” She gives them a box and hops in the car quickly pulling Aemond with her.
“Relax, escalating will only lead to more trouble.” She takes note of the white knuckled way he’s grabbing at the steering wheel. So, she comforts him and herself with a soft touch on his thigh.
“What’s that?” Aemond asks, an attempt to distract from his anger.
“Food.” There is almost a giggle in her voice, too excited to grant her whim.
The drive back was quiet, her thoughts and heart race. Aemond too hasn’t relaxed his tight grip on the steering wheel. It started to rain, she had half a mind to open her window to feel the cold outside but she resists the urge to do so.
“We should probably-” She starts having gathered enough courage.
“Mittys.” Aemond grits out.
If possible, Aemond’s grip tightens even more. Aegon is right ahead of them, or at least his car, the plates are proof of it.
“What the fuck is he doing here?” She startles at Aemond’s voice. They are 10 minutes away from his home and Aegon is here, no doubt to create more trouble.
Aemond speeds up, she is sure he meant to do some harm regardless if Aegon is in the car ahead of him or not.
“Aemond please!” She panics, touching his thigh again. He doesn’t listen.
“Aemond! Slow down!” She braces herself, the belt on her chest feeling like a leaden weight.
“Don’t do this please!” She’s screaming her throat raw. Tears prick at her eyes. She hates the situation that she’s in but she’s desperate.
“Aemond, our baby!” She touches his arm, carefully and slowly akin to approaching a feral cat. “Please stop this.” She sobs.
Her world stops, she wants to close her eyes but could not. The car they’re in stops just in time however the car just in front swerves and loses control. Aemond trails his gaze towards her, eye brimming with tears.
The sound of screeching metal pricks at her ears. Glass is shattered on the concrete road, she forces her eyes shut when they pass Aegon’s car.
No, no, no.
She feels disgusted, panicked and light headed. As soon as Aemond had parked she’s running to her room. Misty eyed, ragged breath, she’s packing anything and everything in her eyeline.
“What are you doing?” Aemond was at her door, imposing, blocking her way out.
“I’m going.” Pacing, she’s trying to grab random things that fall into her view. Her phone, her wallet, the new tube of ointment she just got and clothes, random clothes from hastily opened drawers.
“Where?” His voice is clipped.
She doesn’t answer.
“Where?” Aemond screams, stopping her short. She turns to him angrily, daring to speak. But she herself doesn’t know, she just needs to be away from him.
He grabs her by her arms, grip impossibly tight. She tried her hardest to pull away, attempt after attempt his hold on her pins her in place.
“Why would you do this?” The sobs that wrack her are painful. She’s crying so hard her face is wet from tears.
“He hurt you!” Aemond retorts, keeping her in place. “Have you already forgotten?”
“Of course not!” Her voice is strained yet it doesn’t hide the anger she feels. She moans a disgusted sound, finally breaking away from his hold. She swallows hard, contemplating on what to say so she can finally leave. “You hurt me more than what Aegon did, or are we going to continue to pretend that didn’t happen?
His face changes expression, tears pricked at his eyes, tears he so desperately blinks away but fails. “You really want to go, right now?”
“Yes. I can’t stay here.” She clutches at her hands, they feel so tired and broken, like she’s been punching the walls.
“Why?” Aemond has schooled his face yet again. He’s stone-faced. Not really exposing anything of his true feelings.
“I can’t believe you.” She shakes her head, not daring to look at him head on. Angry, that he can never admit when he’s wrong, can’t even muster a simple apology.
“Why? Just why do you want to go so badly?”
“Aemond… you caused an accident. I was in there, pregnant, with your child and you were willing to risk us, risk yourself, for what? Petty revenge?” What else could she say to make him understand. For such a smart man he makes decisions so rashly.
“You don’t know me.” Aemond blurts out, too quickly for him to stop the words.
She just nods. She looks up at him, face tear stained, flushed from the effort of hurriedly packing. Right there, she forced herself to calm down, not for his sake but for her own.
He’s exactly right. She doesn’t know him. She just assumed. She assumed that despite his cold nature he wouldn’t hurt her, not like this. And then there’s Helaena, who she trusted blindly, did she know Aemond would hurt their brother when she asked her to forgive him?
She has wanted to cry for the longest time but now that it has happened, she feels all the worse for it. And she feels awful for being so excited for those damned cinnamon rolls she now won’t even get to eat. She’s still so very hungry.
The spell is broken when Aemond’s phone rings. Her mind reels when she finds out where they’re going. Alicent and Helaena were called regarding Aegon’s accident, naturally Aemond was summoned as well.
“He was fairly close to your house.” Alicent says as soon as she sees Aemond.
“Why would he be there?” Aemond answers.
Alicent looks over to her trembling form, she feels the weight of her stare. Judging, and scrutinizing. Has Helaena told her? She blinks and it’s like Alicent didn’t even look at her.
“Come, let’s check on your brother.” Alicent whispers to Aemond, her tone strangely calm, the sound of her voice restrained.
Despite not wanting to look, she still managed to drag her gaze over at Aegon’s lying form. He looked strangely peaceful while unconscious and the only visible injury she can see from where she was standing was a broken arm wrapped in a cast.
Aemond looks stoic as can be, revealing nothing. She too has managed to swallow any gasp that threatened to come out. Helaena asked if he would wake up. They are told Aegon might wake up, they’re just not sure when.
The thought of Aegon dying is a sobering thought, almost the same as the thought of him surviving and remembering everything.
Chapter 5 || Chapter 7
"i cant deal with people anymore, its just everyone sucks so hard, you know, everybody is so stupid, and they all walk around going nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyahnyahnyah"
Summary: Aemond doesn't lose control, every movement of his is studied and planned, that is until her.
Warnings: MDNI, smut, angst/comfort, unprotected p in v, talks of pregnancy and miscarriage, mentions of blood, medical procedures, ooc!aemond, aged up Aemond, mentions of infidelity, mentions of toxic relationships, let me know if I missed any.
Author's note: No use of y/n. I tried my best to not have any physical descriptions for reader but I might have missed some, sorry.
Chapter 5
Mrs. Colson is no fool, she feels the atmosphere change instantly when Mr. and Mrs. Targaryen enter their home. Physically, not much has changed but she knows. She offers them a light dinner but they decline and quickly retreat to their room together. She too feels that Mrs. Colson knows… something, so she avoids eye contact.
Just then she feels a sudden dread of tomorrow, it feels like she’s back in school and it’s a Sunday night and she’s trying to prevent the passage of time. Time passing, the only test she can test Aemond with.
“I had a thought.” Aemond sits on the bed, reaching for her hand and pulling her to his lap.
She feels her cheeks heat up, more than during their wedding day. She realizes this is what a ‘blushing bride’ meant.
“We should go on a honeymoon.” He kisses her knuckles.
All she could do is smile. “What about work?”
“I could take off.” Aemond fiddles with her top, his lips finding her neck.
“Be serious.” She pushes him off her neck so she can see his face.
“Hmm. I am.” This doesn’t distract him enough to stop undressing her.
“Let me think about it.” She sighs. Slowly, but surely, she grinds on his growing arousal, biting her lip in the process.
“Do you think Mrs. Colson is still up? I’m kinda hungry.” She leaps off his lap with a giggle.
The next morning it seems Aemond is still not over discussing the all-important question of them going on a honeymoon, alone. Maybe in their lonesome his wife will be emboldened yet again to start something, and he will not complain about that. She deserves better. She deserves more. She deserves a honeymoon, one where they won’t be recognized so easily.
She wakes and gets the shock of her life. Aemond is in bed, shirtless, reading a book, looking absolutely blissful.
“You’re still here.” She whispers, thinking if she says it too loudly, he’ll leave.
“Hmm.” He puts the book down and leans over to kiss her.
“Beach or the mountains?” Aemond hovers over her, scanning over her face.
“For our honeymoon?” She asks skeptical, pondering quietly.
“Hm.” He nods.
“You pick.” She giggles, playing with his hair that was tickling her face
“As you wish, My Lady.”
“What ever will you do now? With all this free time?” She jokes dramatically
“My wife of course.” His hands reach to tickle her sides. Aemond pulls down her dress to kiss her breasts eliciting more giggles from her lips.
“You know Mrs. Colson would think it odd if you’re late for breakfast.” She pretends to chastise him, stopping his hands from wandering.
“She would be all right. I locked our door.”
*
“Tired?” Aemond kisses her at her temple.
“A little.” She smiles up at him. “But I’m happy, thank you.” They walk through the airport. Their hotel was only one ride away and she was thankful for that.
“We can get dinner in an hour. Nap?” Aemond wraps his arms around her, they plop on the bed together.
“I don’t think I can wake up in an hour.” She hums, nuzzling closer to him.
“I’ll wake you if I happen to wake up…” Aemond agrees, voice already growing gruff from tiredness.
When Aemond opens his eyes, it’s dark in the suite only a light from the bathroom is streaming in. He can hear the faint rush of water but not much else.
“It’s midnight, we missed dinner.” She smiles, jumping on the bed beside him.
“Hey, did you know you undress yourself while sleeping?” Aemond leans forward closer to her, one eyebrow raised. “Hm. You’ve been watching me.”
“It was very amusing.” She agrees.
Aemond takes a shower himself and she busies herself with unpacking, almost everything. She raids the kitchen with not much good result but at least they have water, and some soda, and a few cookies.
Hunger really just takes over her sometimes, she looks over her phone looking for places to go to when her husband emerges from the bathroom.
“Aww, no.” She grumbles, giving him a once over.
“What’s wrong?” Aemond’s drying his long locks with a towel, and another one wrapped around his waist.
“If you don’t mind, I unpacked some of your things. Get dressed please.” She hands him a pile of clothes.
“I really want to eat. I need food right now.” Her eyebrows furrow, feet unbalanced. She’s pouting, she’s a grown woman and she’s pouting to her husband.
“Let’s go out, let’s get food.” Her voice is too small now. “Please?” She’s practically begging while her husband remains unmoving.
“Hm.” Aemond inspects her anxious posture, she’s practically bouncing off the walls. A whine escapes her lips and it makes him pause.
Finally dressed, they make their way down to the hotel lobby, for good measure, she asks the staff at reception. They get dinner which Aemond was very hesitant about. The man is used to fancy dinners and Michelin stars. She didn’t push him but she encouraged him to get a few bites.
When he finally ate, she smiles up at him, feeling self-satisfied as well. It felt good to lead him once in a while. He’s so out of place in less formal settings and she is most comfortable in places like this where no one knows her name or her station. Here, they’re just a couple, getting late night junk food for dinner and never letting go of each other’s hands no matter where they go.
She asks him if he would still like his wine after their dinner, he declines. They walk back to the hotel when it seems the streets were all ready to get their much-needed sleep as well.
The first thing Aemond does when they arrive at the suite is strip off his clothes, then try to strip off hers.
“Hmm.” He stops short while lifting her shirt up.
“No one noticed.” She shrugged. It was late at night and she figured no one would take a second glance at her so she didn’t feel the nee d to wear a bra.
“Not even me.” Aemond mutters.
“No need to be sad about it.” She chuckles.
“Why?” His eyebrows knot tighter together.
She tiptoes to be closer to him, almost kissing, “Because I am all yours, husband…” and then she whispers against his lips.
She takes the rest of her clothes without ceremony and rests on the cool sheets of the bed. She’s not one to just lay on the bed naked before, not even when she was alone in her own room. Unknowingly, Aemond gives her courage to try new things and she feels safe with him. And it is the late hour, these quiet hours after midnight, so many days she ends her days at dawn, relishing the silence and peace when everyone was asleep and she wasn’t.
Wordlessly, as she is reaching for a book, Aemond rests on her, his head on her chest.
“Is this okay?” she feels the rumble of his voice on her skin, penetrating to her bones even.
“Mm-hmm.”
Sleep is trying to claim her and yet the words on the page also claim her awake. She lowers her book a bit, just so she can see part of his head.
“Gods, sorry for dragging you out at midnight for food.” He looks so tired, and she feels guilt soaking her bones. Slowly, she closes her book, hands approaching to caress his head.
“Don’t-” Aemond looks up at her, clearing his throat. “Jetlag is strange on the body. Hmm…” He plants a kiss on her sternum.
“I know… I just don’t want t-” Her lips are sealed by his, relieving her of her worries.
“You are so beautiful.” Aemond whispers against her skin, gaze still trained on her face. He doesn’t strictly mean it in the physical sense. Beauty in the way she carries herself, in the way she cares for him and forgives him. It is selfish, he knows, but it is true.
She softens, worries melting away. “You are too.” She whispers back, caressing his hair. He doesn’t agree, not in the way she is, but he smiles anyway.
He starts peppering kisses on her face, her chest, her belly and even lower. Every kiss eliciting an embarrassed shriek from her and a tingle straight to her center.
“What were you reading?” Aemond drags himself up beside her, leaning on his palm while they’re face to face.
“This!” she retrieves the book and shows the cover to him. “It’s about her life and her family, before and after the novels she wrote.” She sighs, imagining the tragedy and beauty of such a tragic yet a wonderful, full life.
“What about you? What do you often read? At this question, Aemond couldn’t keep the grimace from showing up on his face.
“You’re not gonna like it.” He smiles a pained smile, wincing as he shows the book to her.
“I’ve heard of it.” She murmurs. “Is it… good?” Hesitating, she studies his face.
“It teaches me things.” Aemond contemplates his answer, in truth, he picked the book up because it is notoriously polarizing. His goal is to finish it and figure out what the author was trying to say.
“Will you tell me what it says, when you’ve read all of it?” She nuzzles closer, giving him a peck on the lips.
“Hm. Of course.”
*
The first thing Aemond does when he wakes is check the time, 10:16 am. 6 hours of sleep right on the dot. The sun is strong and bright outside, if it’s any indication on what time he awoke.
He couldn’t help but smile when he gazes down at his wife, half asleep, lips parted and hair framing her beautiful face. He didn’t think a moment like this would exist in their marriage.
Aemond contemplates waking and leaving the bed alone but he decides he’ll stay for a few more minutes. He lies back down, pulling her closer to his chest.
“Stop staring…” Hands cover her face, as butterflies litter her stomach.
“Good morning.” Sitting up, Aemond gently takes her hands away from her face.
“What is this? THE Aemond Targaryen, sleeping in?” She laughs when he uncovers her face.
“It is your fault.” He couldn’t help but smile.
“So, what are you gonna do about it? Hmm?” She sits up to face him, smirking when she spots his gaze linger on her breasts.
Aemond didn’t wait for a second, he’s lifting her up to his lap, her knees on either side of his hips, thighs deliciously pining him down. She feels his length against her heat and her breath trembles as a tingle shoots up her spine.
“Careful.” She whimpers out, biting her lip from making too much sound. “People might think you like it when I’M on top.”
“Hm.” He catches her lips with a heated kiss, hands cradling her face.
He’s never kissed her like this before. Before, she realized, he held back a lot, like he cared for her propriety and her lack of experience. It’s a surreal feeling and she wants to slow time down as his soft lips meld with hers.
Pressing closer to him, her hands find his chest as an attempt to steady herself. She feels her body thrum with excitement, buzzing with anticipation.
“Gods, you’re shaking.” Breaking away from the kiss, his hands circle her wrists feeling her pulse so quick and frantic.
“Sorry…” She exhales. “I just need- I just need a second.” Swallowing hard, she pushes off him. She contemplates standing but her unsteady legs don’t allow her.
Aemond leaps off the bed, fetching a glass of water. She feels mortified when the glass appears before her. She can barely feel the glass in her hand even with both her hands holding it.
“I got you.” He hugs her to his side, calming her down with a hand on her shoulder. Water spills from her lips as she gulps the water down.
“That has never happened before.” Aemond says plainly, pouring her another glass of water.
“It hasn’t.” She is apologetic. She wants to, gods she wanted to so much but her body had a different mind of its own this time.
“We can- we can try again…” Calming down slowly, she takes his hand and kisses his palm.
“Later, hm?” He does the same for her palm and knuckles, smiling into her skin.
It really unnerved her when her body refused to listen, breakfast was slowly eaten with her husband’s gaze quietly scanning over her every few minutes. She had half a mind to rest the day away but the sight of the beach was extremely tempting. Not even an hour after breakfast she’s wanting to change into her bathing suit.
Aemond, wanting to enjoy a trouble-free honeymoon decides to join her. He’s looking for sunscreen when his wife emerges from the bathroom only with a bikini on.
“Hm. Gorgeous.” He hums, standing up to hug her, inhaling her scent and caressing her skin. “Will you put something over it?” he whispers against her temple. He could say he wants her to relax for the rest of the day…
“Yes, silly.” Walking over to the vanity, she starts packing a beach bag and looks for a cover up to match the bathing suit.
Seeing her frolic in the sandy waves, with all those people around seeing her, he regrets not looking for a villa with a private part of the beach. He knows that she will say it’s too much. It’s their honeymoon, he wants her to be safe and for his eyes only.
“Hi!” She runs towards him. He sets his book down.
“We can take surfing lessons here, can we?” She rests on her beach towel, to the side of him. He’s not responding.
“That guy there- There, see, he’s waving. He’s one of the teachers.” Aemond’s gaze sweeps over the beach. He spots him, relatively tall, tanned and broad shouldered. Still, he doesn’t respond. He’s wary of new people. Strangers are hard to read at first and this one will be taking them out to sea.
“Ko-Kostilus?” Please? She pouts.
Aemond smiles at this. His wife knows how to get something, especially from him. It is a weakness. And she’s been studying, he’s impressed. “I’ll think about it.”
“Thank you.” She laughs. Grinning bigger, she takes his hand and pulls him with her towards the water. He drops the book on his chair, barely enough time to strip off his shirt.
The water feels colder when it touches her this time, a tiny shriek escapes from her lips. She leans closer to gaze into his eye. She asks herself, where has the cold man the first night of their marriage gone? Is he still here, just hiding, waiting to be revealed yet again? She shakes the thought away but sometimes in the quiet moments she often asks this herself. The quiet allows her to mull over it, if it does happen what will trigger it?
She keeps telling herself to not let her walls down any further, to not keep herself in a vulnerable position because one day, two years or twenty years from now he might pull the rug under her. But it is tiring to always be so on guard, she has tried that and it doesn’t feel like living it only feels like surviving.
“I’m so happy here with you…” A declaration but also a veiled question. It is not a test, she doesn’t even think about testing him. Aemond is a man of very few words and he barely shows any emotion. Sometimes, a woman needs to know how a man feels about her, especially if that man is her husband.
Aemond exhales through his nose, a hum vibrating in his chest. He kisses his wife right there on the beach.
*
Sunkissed, warm and hair still damp from the shower, she sits on the edge of the bed with just a robe on. Aemond smiles a lazy smile as he fiddles with the robe’s ribbon. As his hand caresses her cheek, she looks up at him curiously.
His eye patch long discarded, shirt unbuttoned completely, she opens her robe. Breathing hard as she reveals herself bare to him. “You want to lie down?” He asks, eyes hooded, almost in a trance.
Brushing a soft kiss on her lips, Aemond hovers over her. “Stop me if it gets too much. Hm?” Breathless, she nods before he can even finish speaking. Lowering himself, he starts with a feather-light kiss on her sternum. His eye never leaves her face, always assessing if there is discomfort, worried she’ll react the way she did in the morning.
He plants an open-mouthed kiss at the apex of her thighs, one on each. With a gentle hand, he guides her legs wider. “Aemond…” She feels herself melt yet her chest is working to catch her breath.
“I’m here.” His hand finds hers, reassuring. “Stop me, if you need to.” Aemond rasps out, guiding her hand to his head. Instinctively she grabs his hair, mewling a soft whimper as he licks a stripe in her needy, wet cunt.
“Oh!” Her thighs shift around his head trapping him there. Growling, his hands find a firmer grip on her inner thighs as his tongue plays with her wetness. Deft fingers circle her most sensitive bud. Her hips jolt at his touch, fingers burying themselves deeper into his hair. “Aemond… Oh, gods!”
He continues his ministrations, sucking, lightly biting and teasing her, desperate to pull every moan and needy whimper from her lips. “Cum. For me.” Aemond pleads against her skin. His hands are everywhere on her sensitive nipples, stroking her center and his tongue prodding at her opening.
Aemond feels his erection stiffen against the bedsheets. He groans, the throbbing making him feel lightheaded, encouraged by this his tongue circles her dripping entrance rendering her a whimpering mess. Releasing her lower lip from her teeth, she begs him “I need you. Please I need you!” With a strangled moan, she reaches her peak, walls fluttering around nothing. Her chest heaving up and down as she catches her breath.
Her hands let go of his hair she was gripping so tightly before her peak. Spent, she lies motionless, her legs and arms feeling leaden. Taking note of the dampness between her legs and underneath her. And her whole body too, is coated with a mist of sweat.
“C’mere” He guides her on his lap, sinking into her heat. Tossing her hair back, his fingers brush her hair away from her face, lips trailing a slow path from her neck to her lips. “Hm. Perfect.” Soft lips grazing just so on hers.
The sweet, sweet sensation of his length filling her sends a tingle throughout her whole body and without even commanding it, she’s rocking into him, her hips searching, yearning for another high.
Her thighs are already sore from the effort but it doesn’t stop her need for him. “Wait…” She stills, planting a chaste kiss on his lips. “I want to make you feel good…” He smirks at her declaration, the grip he’s had on her hips loosening a bit.
Aemond feels her breasts press closer to him, soft and pliant against his hard form, the sensitive bead of her nipples unmistakable. She leans back a bit and this earns a soft whimper from her lips, the angle earning him a view of her breasts bouncing as she grinds lower into him.
“Hmm. Be good for me.” Aemond lifts her up, gripping her hips tightly and turning her so her back faces him. “Face there.” His palm lands once on her bottom, earning a surprised shriek from her. Chuckling, he soothes her skin with a caress, assuming his place behind her.
Sliding his hands upward, fingertips skimming the small of her back to the beautiful way her shoulders meet her neck. “What are you doing?” Sitting on her heels, she giggles.
“Admiring my beautiful wife, now stay still.” Placing a palm on the small of her back, Aemond shifts her back on her knees. He pumped his length twice and aligns it to her wetness, Aemond sinks into her quicker than he wanted, her walls clenching around him too delicious to resist.
“Ah!” She arches her back, leaning forward on instinct as his hardness opens her up, the intrusion a bit too much in this position.
“M’sorry.” Hunching over her, he litters kisses to her back, her neck and turning her head to meet her lips hungrily. He allows her a few seconds to adjust to him and rolls his hips forward once with a groan.
“Gods- You are so-” His breath fans her hair. One hand finds her sensitive bud; fingers light at first and then he’s teasing her with firmer pressure.
Gripping the sheets and lowering herself on her elbows, she rocks back to meet his hips. He straightens up, grinding into her and earning a long dragged out moan from her lips.
Aemond fucks her slow and deep, a sheen of sweat coats his body. When she angles her body to look at him, he’s bathed in golden light. As he’s languidly pounding into her, she clenches around him and his hips stutter to a stop. “Fuck, don’t-” He mumbles.
He doesn’t lose control, every movement of his is studied and planned, that is until her. Had no interest on a courtship, let alone a betrothal. All his life if something he hasn’t planned befalls him, he has learned to accept what fate has given him, assess the situation and then act accordingly thereafter.
The only time he will let himself lose control is with her and because of her. Accepting the match, he just thought she would be this inconsequential thing who happened to be in his house, and sleep in his bed. He didn’t think it would change his life much.
But now, he knows she will look to him curiously but will not judge. Sometimes she will be angry to protect herself but she will not have any malice, at least in his eyes. If it happens that they can even love each other, as family, or maybe even something to befit their title as husband and wife, he’ll do as he always does and analyze the situation first.
“Aemond…” She turns to reach for his hand. Her voice wakes him from his thoughts. “Are you with me?” He can hear her murmur although it is muddled. He softens when their eyes meet, his fingertips circle around her wrist.
Lower lip caught in between her teeth; she whimpers at the pace Aemond’s taking her. She closes her eyes, imagining the focus on his face, the golden hue his skin has taken on and the slick of sweat between them.
She’s squeezing him so tightly he feels himself come undone, he lets go of her wrist and in place roughly grabbing her hips with a bruising fierceness. His pace goes frantic, wanting, needing to bury deeper into her. “uhh- fuck!” His hips buck, groaning loudly as hot strands of cum shoot into her.
Aemond collapses beside her lying form. Her ragged breath matches his and he feels the warmth of her cheek when he pushes her hair out of her face. She smiles, doing the same for him.
*
“Yes! Wooh!” The man, who liked to be called ‘Duke’ turned out to be an excellent surfing teacher. After a few days of lessons, she’s managed to stay on the board standing on shaky legs for over a minute.
“You’re a natural!” Duke shouts over the rush of the waves, pumping his fist.
“Thank you! Thank you!” She quips, exaggeratedly bowing.
“Probably the only excitement you get these days.” Duke teases her, his voice rising over the rush of the waves.
“What?” She deflates, sitting back down on her board.
“You know, with a husband like that…” Duke starts. But she doesn’t hear him finish. She’s swimming away, back to shore. Duke wasn’t that far behind her. The glare falls from her face when she sees Aemond approach them.
“Hey man! Sorry, class will be cut short today.” She’s not sure why he’s even saying it, or lying for her.
“You okay?” Aemond hands her a towel, which she graciously uses to hide her face from them.
“We have reservations at 8 at the Red Keep, you should join us.” It takes all the she has in her to not glare at Aemond too.
“Thanks, man.” Duke chuckles. “But it’s not really my scene.”
She sighs at that, keeping her gaze on her husband. She can learn how to surf from someone else and she will never go back to Duke. Those words were awful in her mind; she couldn’t fathom anyone saying it out loud to mock or belittle.
And, Duke doesn’t know her or Aemond. He really had no place to judge. She feels used. Why did Duke feel comfortable telling her that? Did he think she would agree?
The whole day was occupied of these thoughts, she couldn’t even consider that it might hold some truth until they arrived at the restaurant and it was just the atmosphere of it all, it got her thinking how dull and lifeless some of the people looked.
But not her, at least she thought. Which renders her feeling worse than before. She is on her honeymoon of course things are gonna be new and exciting, but what comes after? Will her life be dull and monotonous like what Duke has said?
“Has something happened?” Aemond brings her out of her thoughts.
Aemond leans closer to her, his hand finding hers in the dim lighting of the restaurant. His other hand, resting on the table near his wine glass, unassuming.
“I don’t want to say…” She tests the words on her tongue.
“Say…” He whispers, leaning closer. His hand leaves hers to rest on her thigh, skimming her dress and stopping until he reaches at just a hint of skin.
She sighs, his hand so close to her center not allowing her to focus on anything else. She really wanted to have those lessons with him but he declined. It’s their honeymoon; they were supposed to be doing things together. But she went anyway because lying out in the sun all day wasn’t appealing to her.
Now she quit the lessons, they can do more things together. She hopes Aemond obliges her.
“Hmm?” He’s so close, she can feel the vibrations of his voice and his fingers moving dangerously close to her clothed center. Her eyes are heavy lidded. She feels wetness coating her folds and her underwear.
“Not here-”
“Excuse me, shall I clear your plates for dessert?” A woman in her uniform peers over them, sounding too loud in her ears. Aemond’s hand keeps her in place but she feels her face heat up even more the longer the wait staff looks at her.
“Uh, yes, yes. Thank you.” She smiles, only letting out an exhale when she was done clearing their plates.
“That was your fault.” She complains to Aemond.
“I know.” Without a beat, his thumb presses firmly on her clit earning a sharp gasp from her lips.
“Do you think you can cum before or after dessert?” The words are whispered to her ears yet she can barely hear them over the blood rushing in them.
“After, but not here.” She mumbles, gently removing his hand.
Once they get to the private elevator, she’s pushing him to the wall trying to unbutton his shirt. “What happened to ‘not here’”? Aemond stops her hands with a chuckle.
“You’re terrible.” She mumbles with a smile, circling her arm on his.
Eventually she tells Aemond she’s quitting the surfing lessons but she doesn’t tell him why. It’s better if she doesn’t explain. She doesn’t want to explain. And he doesn’t press her further on it. The rest of the trip, Aemond plans everything which suits her better. They went to museums, pottery lessons – very touristy but also very fun. Every day, they walk to the beach and then at the farmers’ market.
It is a more relaxed honeymoon than she envisioned but she enjoys the time spent with her husband very much. At night when they’re both winding down for bed, she would watch while he applies ointment to his scar wordlessly.
She would stare in silence almost like memorizing his every move, every breath. She would feel a tinge ungrateful whenever she catches herself thinking beyond their honeymoon, beyond the things Aemond’s life has given her.
*
Knowing that the trip was over scared her. With Aemond too being back working and being busy, it makes her uneasy. ‘Things will change’ keeps creeping at the back of her thoughts constantly.
If he noticed she was being too quiet on the way home, he didn’t say anything. But she had a lot on her mind and with not much to look forward to and it’s making her anxiety rise.
After their honeymoon, late nights were spent in the library, pacing. Her head was buried in books but she’s not really reading anything. She mostly paced in there to be out of Aemond’s way, but come two in the morning, he would come and take her back to bed.
Days of this and finally her husband asks her if she needed or wanted anything. She would shake her head no and continue flipping the pages of her book, with no actual end in sight.
Sometimes she would stay in bed with him but she only did so he wouldn’t ask her again if anything was wrong. He would sigh, sitting up, reaching for something on his bedside table.
“Let me.” Reaching out to him. He places the tube of ointment into her hands.
Settling closer to him, she places a small dollop of the medicine onto her fingertips, asks him if it’s sufficient and she would apply it around his sapphire eye carefully. It’s a small thing, but she is happy to do something for her husband, for Aemond.
“How are you feeling?” He whispers, taking in the concentration on her face. He knows the time he spends with her isn’t enough. He wishes he can stay and be with her but his responsibilities are significant. He wants to be a leader, and a leader will have to make sacrifices.
“You need to tell me, hmm?” His hand circles her wrist caressing her there.
“It’s the movie I watched earlier today. It was really sad.” She would reason. It was true enough.
“There. All done.” A weak smile would appear on her lips but the emotion never really reaching her eyes. Aemond would nod, taking note of her swollen eyes. She has been crying.
Some mornings, after less than 5 hours of sleep she would wake up from a particularly sad dream with tears in her eyes. She won’t remember the dream but a heavy sadness always stays with her heart.
She worries so much for her husband, he doesn’t show it and will never voice it out but she knows he’s exhausted. One has to be when he has so many things to be busy about. On many nights, when he manages to join their bed, the light sleep he manages to get leaves so many heavy questions in her heart. It makes her sadder, the more she worries for him and like him, she can’t voice it out for fear of making him angry.
Waking up felt like a heavy blanket of dread has covered her. Something feels off, more than her usual melancholy in the morning. It feels like butterflies in her stomach but not for something exciting, it’s for something more sinister. She just can’t put her finger on it.
She checks her phone, mindlessly scrolling and scrolling when she sees it. Her eyes are unblinking, even the hot tears filling them could not make her blink. At first, it didn’t feel real. It felt like a fever dream, it felt surreal. But it is real and it’s staring at her right on that little bright device on her hand.
Her chest feels like it has caved in, but that’s not possible. She’s fine. The blow isn’t physical so she remains undamaged, physically that is.
She couldn’t do anything without checking again just to make sure. Cursing herself of her curiosity, of her need of information, she refreshes the page to make sure. She reads the article once, then twice and on the third time she zooms in on the pictures. And sure enough…
Her eyebrows knot together, she wants to cry, she does. But after the first few tears drop on her cheeks nothing happens, not catharsis, not any release. Her heart hurts but everything else is numb.
She’ll tell him she knows, but she has to face her husband first.
“Good morning.” Aemond greets her as she sits down for breakfast.
“Morning.” She steels herself, trying to prevent a sigh from leaving her lips again.
She doesn’t know how she’s so calm. Usually, she’s the one screaming from horror or delight, the one throwing a tantrum when something goes awry. But she has matured a bit she realized or reality hasn’t sunk in and her body is trying hard to keep up.
Aemond keeps his gaze on her and she feels it but she can’t look up. She’s pretending to pay attention to her breakfast.
“I, uh… I-” She sighs into her food, willing herself to look up.
“Your family is here.” Mrs. Colson clears her throat.
“What did you say?” Aemond stands.
“Brother! What have you done now?” Aegon barges in, Alicent and Helaena in tow.
“Explain.” Alicent set printouts of the pictures on the table, right in the middle of the table. She feels her heart squeeze at the sight of it. She wanted to run away or scream or both but gravity seems to be fighting her harder today.
Everyone is silent and everyone is looking at Aemond anticipating an answer, as if she wanted more torture, she reaches out and unveils the pictures. Big, bold black letters was printed in one saying ‘Infidelity and Tax Evasion, it all runs in the family.’
“What were you thinking?” Alicent directs this towards Aemond, and he exhales a long breath yet not meeting anyone’s eyes especially hers. He blinks but doesn’t answer.
As she looks over the printouts, her hands shake, her mouth begins to dry up. There she is with Aemond the night of the gala, his hand mingled with hers and then in the next one, in somewhat of a darkened hall, next to the bathrooms, Aemond again looking very close to another woman. Not platonic close, not like a ‘family member’ close - lover close. The woman’s hands were on his chest; her face was obscured by his. It looked like they were kissing, or had just kissed. The photos were obviously taken in secret which only amplifies the scandalous nature of it. It made their picture together look so platonic, so… like family. She wanted to vomit.
She racks her brain for anything that would clue her in the identity of the woman, she thinks and thinks but all her mind could conjure up is how close they were in the picture. She bites down a scream from coming out. She would not have an outburst, not here, not now.
“Did you sneak off to fuck this one?” Aegon’s voice booms in her ear.
She screws her eyes tight, knowing one thing and one thing only. She needs to leave. “Excu- Excuse me.” She managed to squeak out, dropping the pictures back on the table. At first, she’s slow and then she’s running.
Aegon shouts at her stop her from leaving. He runs to catch up to her. “You’re gonna miss the best part, sister!” his hand is on her shoulder like a dead weight. She feels disgust coat her like old, rancid oil. The feeling of wanting to vomit is stronger.
Aemond moves quickly to put his hands around his brother’s neck. He’s there in a blink of an eye, wiping away the shit eating grin on Aegon’s face. Alicent screams, she doesn’t know if she screams. Aegon releases himself from Aemond’s hold, cackling, indifferent to the gravity of the situation.
“It’s not what it looks like.” Her husband turns to her, hands poised to touch her. She can only turn away to leave, eyes trained on the floor, incapable of saying anything of substance, or of sanity. “I can’t talk. Not right no-”
“Brother, you are an embarrassment to the family.” Aegon delivers the final blow, literally and figuratively but Aemond is quicker than he is. His wife, being the unluckiest one, never saw Aegon’s fist coming towards her.
Her ears are ringing and she’s on the floor instantly. She clutches at her face, breath robbed from her lungs. Gasping, she cowers, keeping herself as small as possible while she lies on the floor to recover.
Everyone is screaming, Alicent has taken liberty of standing in front of her to protect her. The embarrassment burns more than the punch that landed on her eye. Her face feels hot, hair wild and out of its normal place.
“Stop please…” Helaena pleads, breaking the spell and stopping everyone from screaming.
On the way to the hospital, her nose starts bleeding. She feels her eye growing warm and pulsating of its own heartbeat. A small, yet sturdy seed of anger is planted in her heart.
She doesn’t wish for anyone to touch her, not even Alicent, or Helaena and yet Alicent has produced a scarf to tamp down the trickle of crimson.
“Not to worry, we will fix this.” Alicent whispers to her, her hold on the bloody scarf firm. She has no doubt his family will find a ‘fix’ for it. Rescuing their reputation, cleaning it up and discarding only the ugly parts. Her part in it? She’s not sure.
For the first time, she feels disgust in joining this family. The lengths they will go to to keep their wealth and their reputation surely will no doubt be questionable, morally reprehensible even. She is surprised they didn’t get her to sign anything. Well, aside from her marriage to Aemond.
The nurses, other staff milling about, they whisper her name like its poison on their lips, surely, they must have read the article too and now it also seems like her husband beats her, their assumption. They ask as much, assuring that Aemond isn’t within earshot when they tell their questions to her. She doesn’t answer because no matter what she says they think they already have their proof, right there on her face.
Aegon and Alicent have gone, gods know where. Now she just needs to get rid of Aemond and Helaena. And then what? Where would she go? Where could she go where this family won’t find her? It is impossible.
“We will protect you, but you have to tell us.” The soft-spoken nurse tells her again, inspecting her eye and the surrounding area. She asks about her pain level, she doesn’t answer. All of it has rendered her mute. It’s exhausting to keep silent but it’s even more tiring to think of an answer that will not implicate anyone.
“Will she lose the eye?” Aemond walks in. The air shifts in his presence. Relief isn’t the word for it, she’s just thankful there is a familiar face while she gets treated. Her brain has confused familiarity with something else. She should be angry at him and yet…
“We don’t know yet. We have to run some test-”
“Then find out.” His voice runs a chill throughout the room. The nurse beside her stands firm. Seasoned, she probably deals with a lot worse every single day.
“Can you walk miss?” The other, younger, more delicate looking nurse helps her to stand up.
“Where are you going?” He is annoyed, brewing hotter by the second.
“There is a possibility of broken facial bones. We will check to rule it out.” Aemond is informed. He softens at this, angrier at himself more than anyone. He lets them go without a word.
She quickly finds out that she could not walk, they produce a wheelchair for her and haul her room to room. The tests were painless enough, it’s the waiting around that lends her some peace and quiet to think and she doesn’t want to think about things, not yet.
After the tests, and some meds to take home, she’s cleared to go home. The stern nurse who cared for her stared and stared. She was asked once more if she wanted to say anything about what led to her hurting her eye but she wouldn’t speak. Couldn’t.
Time felt weird in the hospital, it both felt quick and felt like it went on for days. She’s so terribly conscious of her surroundings. Tears have yet to drop from her eyes, not emotional tears, sad or even angry ones.
She was driven home, alone. The driver looks to the rear-view mirror in what seemed like every few seconds to check on her. She wonders what he’s thinking. She wonders if he knows of the events earlier in the day.
*
“You poor child…” Mrs. Colson hovers over her, looking hurt. “My medicine please, Mrs. Colson.” She refuses to cry, more specifically the tears refuse to fall, she just feels numb.
Mrs. Colson helps her soothe the pain in her eye the best she can. She takes her hand in hers, caressing it. Her grandmother used to do the same thing. “I’m glad you’re here, Mrs. Colson.” She whispers.
She is refused when she wishes for some alone time. Mrs. Colson has planted herself in that room and it’s been hours. The sky has darkened outside and she has napped but still Mrs. Colson hasn’t left.
“Mrs. Colson, a word.” Aemond, strictly business, calls the older woman out of the room.
“Are you to leave yet again?” Mrs. Colson couldn’t hold her tongue, Aemond is baffled by this. He knots his eyebrows together, eye unblinking.
“Your wife, she is in a state, and you are to leave?” Mrs. Colson repeats.
“Hmm.” Aemond enters the room. His wife has been sitting on the bed, nursing a nosebleed.
“Gods above.” Mrs. Colson runs to her side.
“It’s nothing.” she murmurs, clutching a towel to her face. Her throat feels dry and sore, now she knows she has been screaming, using her voice and tiring it out. The incident happened so quickly and so out of place from her normal life she didn’t know if she screamed at all.
She looks up and spots Aemond, something about him suddenly appearing in this room makes her flinch. The room is too small and she’s not ready to face him.
“Fuck!” Aemond hisses, fists at his sides. He wants to leave; he is itching to leave. Just looking at her in pain, obviously very hurt, burns something new in his chest. Anger coupled with guilt is a dangerous thing, his brain reminds him that he could kill, if he wanted to but he stops the idea before it forms whole.
“I need to go.” He lowers at her eye level, trying his best to cool his anger down, to soften as he approaches her.
“More sneaking around?” She says plainly, regretting it as soon as she stopped speaking. Everything is a mess and she is not keen on fixing anything right this moment.
“You’re confused. Hmm.” Aemond grits out. He drags his gaze towards her bruised face and seeing her closer almost robs the breath from his body.
“You’re unbelievable.” Her face crumples when she meets his gaze. An outburst just begging to be let out. It insults her that he dares to treat her like a child, smaller and simpler than a child.
“I am not confused at all.” She blinks at him. “Your brother punched me, hit my eye pretty bad.” Mrs. Colson couldn’t do anything but stare. The poor dear really isn’t confused, the incident however has made her extremely blunt.
“Brother…” A gentle voice echoes from outside. “Mother wants to talk to you.” Aemond sighs, he leaves hesitantly.
“Helaena…” She notices her elegant form enter the room. “Are you feeling better or worse?” Settling down on the bed beside her, hands instinctively caressing her face like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
“I honestly don’t know.” She’s tired, she wants to sleep again. “Better, I think.” She adds, to console Helaena, to console herself too, maybe.
“I am so sorry about my brothers.” Helaena whispers. “It is regrettable that they fight so much.” She can only nod at this. Heleana helps her with her bleeding nose and they talk for quite a bit.
“I was thinking a lot about it…” She starts, gauging Helaena’s reaction. “I wanted to open a shelter for animals, with Aemond’s help.” Clearing her throat, she folds the bloody fabric in her hands. “But it is not possible now.”
“Do not worry, Aemond is just angry.” Anger is one thing, but it seems he’s angry at her and she doesn’t deserve that. Would it kill him to look just a bit guilty? She wished she had just asked him about the shelter. She needed something to do in place of just waiting around for him to come home at night.
With what has happened, her being involved publicly with his family’s business starting something new won’t be seen in a good light, even if it is for a good cause.
“I hope you forgive him. And I hope you forgive me for saying that you should forgive him.” Helaena is unblinking, serious in her words, almost stern. She couldn’t help but laugh a little. She’s thankful for her presence, she didn’t need to speak to her but she did.
Her words had the opposite effect to what Helaena was expecting, instead of getting angrier she feels a sort of relief. Getting angry feels so rash and stupid now and it robs her of her energy.
“And congratulations by the way, a little one is soon to arrive.” Helaena stands, poised to leave.
“Little one?” She perks up at this, her heart hammering.
“Yes, an adorable boy.”
Chapter 4 | Chapter 6
a/n: this was not proofread, I had to post quickly before heading to work. and as you can probably tell I'm rusty(writing smut, and tbh writing in general) but I do hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you for reading!
Unforgiveable ||
Aemond Targaryen x Reader (Modern!AU)
Aemond Targaryen x Reader (she/her)
(Modern!AU)
Summary: Aemond doesn't lose control, every movement of his is studied and planned, that is until her.
Warnings: MDNI, smut, angst/comfort, unprotected p in v, talks of pregnancy and miscarriage, mentions of blood, medical procedures, ooc!aemond, aged up Aemond, mentions of infidelity, mentions of toxic relationships, let me know if I missed any.
Author's note: No use or y/n. I tried my best to not have any physical descriptions for reader but I might have missed some, sorry.
Chapter 4
All the events from the party eludes her, she can’t even remember where she dropped that almost full flute of champagne. Or if she bothered to check her makeup the whole time she was there. It is almost like she blocked it all out.
The staff has gone, the people who helped dress her, do her hair and apply her makeup, all gone. And now, it’s just the two of them, man and wife alone in a suite so large it is almost a house.
Her heart drops.
“Husband, I didn’t get to talk to your mother for long, I’m sorry.” She starts with the less pressing issue. “Your mother would think me rude. I’d hate for that to happen.”
“My mother won’t mind.” His back is turned to her, she thinks he’s fiddling with his rings. This surprises him, she thought her indifferent. She was so closed off at their wedding he didn’t think she would mind his mother of all people.
“She won’t?”
“No.” He simply says.
She nods. Looking around, she’s trying to find the words to say without sounding weird or awkward.
“I, uh… I need help with my dress.” She smiles a pained smile.
“They’ll come back and pack for us tomorrow.” Aemond has turned towards her, suit unbuttoned and hair a little more disheveled than before.
“It’s not that. I need help with my dress to – to uh, take it off.” she whispers, barely audible, hot blood rushing to her cheeks. Her lips part on their own as she is rendered breathless.
“Hm.” Aemond approaches her slowly, she lets out a slow exhale and turns her back to him.
“Help me undo the-” The words die on her lips as soon as his hands sweep her hair away and start undoing the back of the dress silently.
“Wife…” He’s so close she can almost feel the sound vibrations as he speaks.
Once she has felt her dress loosen down to her hips, she turns to flee. She’s scared, not really of him but what she might initiate. “Thank you.”
“Wait.” He stops her with a hand reaching for her. Aemond whispers her name, slowly but surely. The sound almost like supplication, a prayer on his lips.
“Let me…” Aemond hasn’t seen his wife get dressed earlier, he didn’t know how a seemingly insignificant thing could have such an effect on him. He is a man after all. All those years thinking, studying, bettering himself. Comparing himself against his brother who so commonly always concedes to the temptations of human flesh. A woman, his woman, has ultimately settled the score.
“What are you-?”
Aemond has kneeled down before her, his head is down but his hands are still touching her. She can feel his breath on her hands and it is a strange yet surreal feeling. Just when she thought goosebumps are done appearing on her skin, more make their presence known.
“Usōven” He looks up at her. A steady gaze, one she feels like she could drown in all day. “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”
It is silent in the room, she can hear all the blood rushing in her ears. Hear the breath escaping from her lips. She has a hard time believing all of this is real.
“I was wrong.” His voice is measured, careful.
“My brother, he-”
“Aemond, there’s no need for that.” She feels her world tip, never has a man kneeled before her. And because of how their union was arranged, he didn’t even kneel when they got betrothed.
His lips have found her knuckles, inhaling her scent and appreciating the soft skin of her delicate hand. She helps Aemond stand, their hands still connected.
“I need to, uhm, I need to get out of this dress.” She takes one of her hands back, the other keeping the dress firmly on her.
“Yes. Of course.” Aemond exhales.
“But uhm, that apology was nice. Thank you.” She whispers to the air. Her voice caught in her throat as she was saying it.
She showers hurriedly, forgetting to wipe her makeup off before the shower. She wasn’t left with much choice when she realized she didn’t pack any makeup wipes anyway.
Not sure what she was expecting after the shower, she walks slowly towards the bed, Aemond wasn’t there. She sits on the bed, navigating the TV to find something to watch.
“Dinner?” Aemond calls out.
“At this hour?” She asks, standing when she sees him push a cart full of food.
She can relax now she tells herself. The event didn’t allow her to drink at all or eat much. Hopefully, she didn’t look like a lost animal wandering about. She’s pretty sure there were a lot of press people there that would have been taking a lot of pictures but she avoided them when milling about or hid behind people, still she’s sure someone captured her image at least once.
“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” She asks him, admiring the dinner they have before them.
“I’ve attended worse.” Aemond admits, sipping his wine.
“Why do you go? If you don’t exactly enjoy being there?” She nibbles at her dinner.
“I’m obliged to go. Aegon goes for the free alcohol.” She smiles bigger at the confession but couldn’t keep the deeper issue in the back of her mind reflecting on her face. When Aemond notices he reassures her that she can ask.
“You’re so different, I’m just wondering how…”
“I’m not talking appearance-wise, your personalities, and- Are you laughing at me?” Before she could complete her sentence, he’s shaking his head letting out a big exhale.
Well, it’s true. She didn’t want to say it but it was like they were raised by a different set of people and she read back in school that personalities are established earlier in childhood. They develop later on but a personality is hard written early in life, not later.
“Appearance?” Aemond raises his brow, trying to follow her train of thought.
She stares at him, while they’re both attractive men, Aemond looks stronger, sharper and she has to think he’s more appealing, he’s her husband.
“I’m your wife!” She rolls her eyes. He really is pressing her to say it. Well, not really. Words just keep coming out from her lips.
“Hm. And?”
“I’m supposed to think you’re the more attractive brother.” She’s mortified but says it anyway.
“Supposed to?” With eyebrow still raised, he chuckles.
“You’re unbelievable! It’s not like you’ll be jealous… Are you?” Her previously tight jaw relaxes at the realization.
She’s unsure, it’s not like him if he is. But she doesn’t know him well to know. She contemplates if it was the wrong thing to say but no matter how she tries to correct it in her mind, she can’t find the right words to get her point across.
Aemond must think her slow, he’s not speaking and she was rendered silent by her own mortification. She hates it. Her nerves either make her too excited or render her speechless.
“I promise…” She starts after clearing her throat. “I’m not being vain about it. And I don’t want to compare in that wa- ” sighing in frustration, she lets it go. Saying more evidently isn’t making this better. Comparison between siblings is a touchy subject, she shouldn’t have brought it up at all.
“I know what you mean.” Aemond tells her. Both their dinners forgotten, the room eerily silent apart from the low volume of the TV.
“Huh?” Her brows furrow, she does not feel reassured and she feels tired like she’s been talking for hours.
“I’ll take it as a compliment.” He says with a finality. “And you looked beautiful tonight.”
“All thanks to William, and the makeup team.” She tilts her head as if they were there receiving the compliment.
“No, it was a compliment just for you.” He leans closer to her, their shoulders touch.
Charmed, she mumbles a thanks. Feeling sleepier than she likes to admit, she forgets the rest of her dinner and cleans up her plates and cutlery. She readies herself for sleep, moving sluggish until she allowed herself to flop on the bed and finally sleep. Feeling the bed dip, she wakes from her half asleep state.
“Thank you for tonight.” Aemond whispers next to her temple.
“What for?” She smiles, before slowly opening her eyes.
“For going with me, being with me.”
She looks at his face, tracing every feature with her eyes. She wished they’d get along and now it seems like they are and that’s the best she could hope for. Aemond studies her while she stares, she blinks up at him, her lips curling into a smile.
“It was fun! I know it’s different for you but I had fun.” Maybe it’s the tiniest bit of champagne she sipped, but the night wasn’t completely miserable. It wasn’t a perfect evening but she did have a bit of fun.
“Good night.” She mumbles, using the last bit of wakefulness in her body, she leans closer to him to plant a peck on his lips.
*
When she awoke, she fully expected Aemond to be out of bed and he was of course. The man seems to have planned everything in his life and anything he didn’t plan he just avoids until he plans accordingly, that is.
“Good morning.” Aemond feels her arms wind around his waist. His voice is deeper in the morning, gruffer.
“Hm, morning.” She smiles, planting soft kisses on his bare skin. Her own prickles with warmth and goosebumps.
“Will you go so early? It’s still the weekend.” Gods, she feels so clingy and needy. She has to admit, she feels all gooey inside. Like a melted marshmallow, warm and sweet. Her hands wander lower, careful yet also daring.
She feels safe, secure, happy even and now all she needs is her husband. Aemond really has charmed her.
“What’s gotten into you?” He turns to face her, her hands still in his.
“Not you, apparently.” She smiles brightly, raising her brow. Funny attempt at a joke she thinks. This earns a chuckle from him. It’s cute, Aemond Targaryen can laugh.
Her gaze falters and she feels her face heat up; he notices and caresses her cheek with his thumb. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I just…” Stepping closer, breath caught in her lungs she feels a certain melancholy soak her bones.
“I need you.” Slowly, she guides his hand to her center. Her chest heaves when his slender digits make contact.
“Oh…” A low moan bubbles from her lips. Too late to feel shy now, she clutches Aemond closer to her. He helps her out of her nightgown and panties. Outside, the warm sun greets them but between their two bodies, they feel warmer.
Aemond presses closer to her, turning her around as one of his hands deftly caress her slick folds.
“Relax.” A thumb caresses her hip, drawing slow circles on her skin. Gods above if every morning is to be like this Aemond will not be able to leave their bed.
Relax…”
She gulps, holding on to his forearm tightly as one of his finger prods tentatively at her center. “Tell me if it hurts.” Aemond consoles her with a kiss at her temple.
“It won’t. I’m so… I’m so wet you can just-” She inhales sharply, whimpering at the sensation. It is only just his finger what comes next might render her undone and spent.
“We can stop, we can-” He pauses and moves to leave her warm and inviting core.
“No, Aemond. Please…” She pins his hand in place. She rubs small circles herself to increase the pleasure. “Take your clothes off please.”
Aemond didn’t need to be told twice. He’s stripped naked in record time only too earnest in freeing his straining need for her. He takes her hand and guides her towards the bed.
“I won’t hurt you. I promise.” He sits on the bed, helping her straddle him. Grip impossibly tight on her thighs.
“I know.” Her eyes are heavy lidded as she plants a languid kiss on his lips.
“Look at me.” Aemond lifts her chin up so he can look into her eyes.
“We’ll take it slow. Hm?” She nods, slowly sinking onto him.
“Gods, woman.” He couldn’t help but grab her hips, she’s his anchor as he slips inside her heat. It is a good thing he is a patient man because he almost, almost couldn’t help but to thrust up into her deeper.
Her hesitant hands take his eye patch off, Aemond doesn’t protest. “Beautiful…” She mumbles. Relishing the feeling of their closeness and at how he’s free to feel vulnerable for her.
True to his promise, he lets her go at her pace. Aemond is content with holding her breasts, kissing them and worshipping her as she chases her peak.
He relishes in the sounds she makes, every small moan or high pitched whimper is music to his hears. He’s so, so close but he holds out just for her pleasure.
At a particular deep grind of her hips, Aemond lets out a strangled moan, hands flying to her hips to anchor himself yet again. “Slow down…fuck-”
Her breaths are both deep and fast. “I can’t...” She breathes out. Her hands are on his, finding purchase and grinding on him again.
“I know… I know…” He pleads, hands firm on her hips as an attempt to guide them.
“You’re gonna make me-” Aemond whimpers out. She continues her ministrations, one hand rushing to circle on her sensitive bud.
“Aemond, I-” With one hand, she clutches at his shoulders her nails digging into his skin.
“I’m here.” He kisses her deeply. Aemond guides her hips as she rocks into her orgasm, lips finding her sensitive nipples and kissing her over and over. Her lips find his neck and she stifles a moan against his skin as she climaxes.
Completely spent, she leans on him. A giggle escaping her lips. Aemond cradles her face, giving her a bruising kiss that leaves her even more breathless. She looks at him deeply, not letting her eyes fall close because if she does, he might disappear.
The ding from the suite’s doorbell makes her jump.
“Sleep.” He calms her down, already helping her to get dressed. “I’ll wake you when it’s time.” Aemond glances at her sleeping form one last time, then closes the door to give her some privacy.
He instructs them to pack as silent as possible and he gets dressed, finishes some of his work and lets his wife sleep as long as she needed.
Unforgiveable ||
Aemond Targaryen x Reader (Modern!AU)
Aemond Targaryen x Reader (she/her)
(Modern!AU)
Summary: Aemond doesn't lose control, every movement of his is studied and planned, that is until her.
Warnings: MDNI, smut, angst, unprotected p in v, talks of pregnancy and miscarriage, mentions of blood, medical procedures, ooc!aemond, aged up Aemond, let me know if I missed any.
Author's note: I tried my best to not have any physical descriptions for reader but I might have missed some, sorry.
WC: 22k+ (the whole fic)
no smut in this chapter
Chapter 3
“My lady, breakfast is ready.” Mrs. Colson’s voice wakes her. Whining, she leaves the bed, washes up and slowly makes her way down.
It is too loud for breakfast especially for just one person, she first sees Aemond looking quite… severe. And then, his brother.
“There she is!” She startles, hearing the other voice.
“Sister! Join us.” Aegon stands. His loud voice obliging her to move towards them.
Aemond bristles and so does she. She listens to their conversation, Aegon mostly speaking and she feels a pained smile appear on her face as Aegon tries to include her in the conversation. She does not know what they speak of. She tries to keep up but it is just not a topic she knows anything about.
This gives her an opportunity to study her husband, to see how he reacts to other people, especially his brother. But Aemond doesn’t give anything away. He’s stone faced like always, his voice is measured and his posture, perfect.
Her mind wanders while she eats, it’s all she could do to tune out the noise of Aegon’s unrelenting smug tone.
Aegon is all teeth when he bids her goodbye. He took her hand and kissed her knuckles, much to her confusion. Aemond sees this and the way her head whips to face him.
“Hm.” Aemond walks past the two of them.
“What? Not even a goodbye kiss?” Aegon chuckles. This makes Aemond bristle even more.
“It was nice seeing you again, sister!” Aegon announces as he leaves, trailing behind his brother.
“Bye…” Her gaze was only trained on Aemond, his straight back and the way his shoulders are set. Perhaps it is best he doesn’t talk to her if what he utters is more words that would sting.
“You should eat more miss.” Mrs. Colson says tentatively.
“It’s okay, Mrs. Colson. Are you going to the garden now?” She asks, needing something to occupy her thoughts. Anything but Aemond.
“Maybe you should rest, Miss.” She suggests quietly.
“I’ll only be watching you work… if it’s okay.”
Mrs. Colson gives her a once over but concedes. They go to the garden together; she was all too happy to have a conversation while she works. She usually doesn’t get that luxury as Mr. Targaryen rarely blasts any music that can be heard all the way out in the gardens.
“Mrs. Colson, I uh-” She hesitates but asks anyway. “Was my husband really angry his driver didn’t get to him the other night?”
Mrs. Colson looks back in her general direction, frowning at the glare from the sun. “You needn’t worry about that. It has been a week.”
“I know, but…” She walks closer to Mrs. Colson. Whispering her question as if it’s a secret. “I just wanna know more things about him, how he responds to situations… I don’t wanna make him angry.” She believes in the power of information, if she knows a few things more about her husband maybe she won’t be caught off guard and feel so insecure all the time but alas.
“If it’s about his feelings, ma’am then I’m not the right person to ask.” Mrs. Colson tries to soothe her but it makes her feel worse. Mrs. Colson has been with this family for so long and she still has no read on Aemond?
It is quiet for a while. She kneels beside Mrs. Colson pondering on what she said. She wonders why she even cares if he’s angry but she knows this about herself, for the people surrounding her, she wants to like them and be liked by them. Anger should have no place in that relationship. She couldn’t and wouldn’t bear it.
“We can cook the recipe you found again tonight.” Mrs. Colson glances towards her.
“Do you think we can make it taste better?” She perks up at this.
“I know just the thing.” Mrs. Colson returns the smile.
“I need to speak to you in private, wife.”
She startles at his voice. It hasn’t even been 2 hours since he left with his brother and now, he’s back. The air shifts around him, he doesn’t look angry she thinks but she feels something simmering deep within him.
His bright hair shimmers in the sun, and all she could think of was how dirty her hands are. She wanted to wash them out, wanted the smell of fresh cut grass leave her senses. The warmth of the sun actually felt good on her skin but now all she feels is the chill in his gaze.
Mrs. Colson withdraws without a word. When she has gone, Aemond walks away trusting that his wife will follow. Wordlessly, she keeps up as best she can. But Aemond is methodical in his steps, his strides are long yet unhurried.
They arrive at the library and he slams the door shut. Not doing anything to make this less scary for her. Her eyes shift nervously knowing there’s only one way in and out of this room.
“You made your vow to me.” His gaze pins her in place.
“I know.” She stares back defiantly. “But what is this ab-”
“You made your vow to me, not to him.” He repeats, a bit quieter.
“Are you talking about Aego-” In a few steps Aemond has her cornered, pinned against the wall yet also not touching her just yet.
“Never ever say his name.” His breath fans her face. Flushed, she nods. Racking her brain to say something to appease him.
“He touched me first,” She shakes her head, a light chuckle almost bubbling up her chest with how serious he’s taking this for something so…small. “This is ridiculous.” She tries to walk past him but her new found courage doesn’t allow it.
“I won’t be made fun of.” He leans ever closer to her, his hands now touching her forearms.
“I’m not making fun of you.” She leans closer as well, pushing her hands on his chest. “Can you let me go?” The touch was quick; she drops her hands not a beat longer. “Mrs. Colson and I were planning on making dinner together.”
“Hm.” Aemond closes the gap between them in a heated kiss.
He doesn’t want to admit it, but he has lost control. He was on the verge of losing it and she’s laughing at him. She’s so warm, everywhere. And soft and pliant under his touch.
And she doesn’t reject the kiss, she leans closer to him, inhaling his scent, resting her hands on his shoulders, relishing the feeling of their closeness. She can spend all day with her lips slotted against his. Without even meaning to, her eyes fall close.
Aemond’s caress goes from her arm to her waist and she feels the heat of his skin light her body up all the way to her cheeks. But that is not enough, she wants to feel closer to him, to feel his heat and if a kiss affects him as much as it does her.
Slowly, she peers up to look at his face.
“Your…” She whispers, reaching up his face.
“Your eye patch, it’s come undone.” Aemond’s hands flies to cover his eye but her hands are already there, gentle and pensive. There is no judgement in her gaze, only curiosity.
When he was younger, people never dared to ask if it hurt. Of course it did hurt, he doesn’t even know if it stopped hurting. Aemond fully expected her to ask the question but she doesn’t.
With one hand, he’s turned her away, pinning her against the wall. She feels his arousal against her. Straining her hearing, she hears the almost silent clatter of his eye patch being thrown behind her.
One hand press on her back again, she jumps. Is this punishment for seeing his scar? For just a few short seconds that she saw how vulnerable he can be? Her heart sinks at the realization. They will never have sex or be intimate for the purpose of just expressing passion, lust or even love. It will always be something akin to a punishment, or duty. Nothing more.
“I’m not doing this with you, Aemond.” She whispers tentatively.
“Do you dare deny me?” Aemond’s hold on her has only tightened.
“Yes! I dare.” She tries her best to push him off and she succeeds. For his sake, her gaze is averted from his face.
“Is it because you want my brother? The heir?” Gods he’s so wrong in all of this.
“Is that what you think of me?” She feels betrayed. Heavy, painful tears prick her eyes.
“You betray your thoughts. You thought you were gonna marry him.” Aemond’s concludes her tears as this, a betrayal, a revelation of the truth.
“Stop. Stop this, Aemond!” She’s pacing now, harshly wiping away the tears that have fallen on her face.
“Hm.” He’s still. Anger brewing hotter by the second. He finally got the reaction he wanted out of her. Her hot tears, her chest moving as she gasps for breath. He admits, something about this stirs something hot in his loins and yet he also never wants to see her like this again. He has found something that will make her act this way and is quick to regret it.
“My father wanted me to marry your brother. But I begged him, pleaded him to choose you. He conceded and it was a kindness that he did.” As the truth keeps spilling out from her lips her voice keeps getting smaller and smaller.
“He had lofty ambitions, my father. But he knew it would kill me if I wed Aegon.” She hated this, hated that this has to come out as she’s crying.
“Your brother must have found out… and has decided to come here to gloat.” “That is the truth. And if you think me as ambitious as my father then you have revealed yourself, that you think very little of me.” She turns to leave, not throwing him a second glance.
“Wait.” Aemond stops her with a tight grasp on her arm.
“Please let me go.” She has put herself together long enough to ask Mrs. Colson to prepare another room for her. This time, she locked the door, allowing her the privacy to cry silently until she fell asleep.
*
A pounding headache is her reward for that outburst and much to her disappointment, an unlocked room. Mrs. Colson was there the moment her eyes opened, at this point in her marriage she has seen Mrs. Colson in the mornings more than her own husband.
She’s unsure if Mrs. Colson knows or if any other person in the house heard them arguing and she’s much too mortified to try and find out. For now, she’s hiding under the sheets. Mrs. Colson finally turns around, taking note of her swollen, red eyes and the heat of emotion radiating off of her. She hasn’t said anything and dread blooms in the pit of her stomach.
Mrs. Colson is silent as she leaves the room, a few minutes pass and she gives up waiting when Aemond walks in. If possible, she’s even more tongue-tied now. She glances up at his face for a short second, only to look away quickly.
“Get dressed. We leave in an hour.” Aemond instructs.
“You are back. Finally!” The man shakes Aemond’s hand enthusiastically.
“And who is this?” The man comes up from behind Aemond and hugs her. He’s beaming and she couldn’t help but smile in response.
“My wife.” Aemond glances at her briefly. She doesn’t reciprocate.
“Of course! William Spark. Real name, by the way.” William hasn’t let go of her hand; it was a warm hand and a very warm greeting. As opposed to her cold, clammy, and nervous ones. “Call me William.”
“Let us see!” He lifts her hand at eye level. He inspects her rings, engagement and wedding band. “Oh! I am delighted, of course you would pick the better stone and it compliments your wife so well.”
“Thank you.” She fiddles with her rings, the light catching the sapphire stone as she does.
William turns back to Aemond, oblivious of the mood they came in at first. She breathes a silent sigh of relief.
“I know, a black suit for you.” William announces before Aemond can say anything. “For your wife?” He asks, bouncing on his feet. Aemond looks at her, she is quiet as to not overstep. “Ask her.”
“Don’t say black! He always chooses black.” William tells her. She was gonna say black but she just let the master’s work speak for itself so she gave him all the creative freedom he wants.
Some weeks later, that’s how she ended up at this party, meeting so many people she could count, so many new faces and names. She has heard that it is the only party in the whole year Aemond and his family attends.
The place was impeccably decorated, someone who adores nature and flowers definitely designed how this place was going to look like. And it’s on theme too since the event was for a non-profit for preserving nature. Maybe she imagined it but she can smell the crisp scent of morning air too.
She has found herself holding Aemond’s hand for support the whole night. The shoes she got looked pretty but they’re slightly painful to wear for hours. They mill about, Aemond introducing her as his wife. He looked pleasant enough but she knows how much she dislikes the whole thing. William said as much.
Aemond excused himself when they were offered champagne, her hand shot up to take one flute and she felt it rude to not continue to do so despite not really wanting to drink any alcohol tonight.
“We went to Dorne for our honeymoon, where did you guys go?” A woman in a red dress and a massive diamond necklace asked her.
She gulps, smiling as if to reshape her face after hearing the question. “Uh… we didn’t have one… yet.” Hopefully she doesn’t look cringed out on the outside as she feels on the inside.
She makes a show of ‘sipping’ her champagne, only to actually just wet her lips with it.
“My advice? Don’t go to Dorne. Your husband will spend too much time outdoors and no time sharing your bed.” The woman giggles, leaning closer to her as if sharing a secret. Other women in their small circle giggle too. She doesn’t know if all their marriages ending up like being business deals would comfort her or make her even more uncomfortable.
“Shame you couldn’t go to our wedding…” Another woman tells the group. “After all it was the same week as yours. I understand. A Targaryen wedding of course, would be more… sought after.” She smiles politely at them, not completely registering their words in her head.
She didn’t want to be rude, but her gaze starts to wander trying to look for Aemond or just a familiar face. She shivers at the thought of seeing Aegon here, she’d rather talk to a stranger than see him again.
“Hello ladies,” and sure enough he is here. Of course, Aegon would not miss a party.
“I’m gonna take away my sister-in-law for a bit, okay?” This time, Aegon doesn’t touch her. She makes sure there would be no physical contact too as they walk away.
“Sister? You’ve been holding that flute of champagne all night and it remains unchanged. Are you keeping a secret?” Aegon gives her a slow once-over. His gaze racking over her like hot coals tracing the planes and curves of her body.
Tongue-tied, she just stares at the man. She didn’t think anyone would notice. She isn’t with child but she’s wearing high heels and an exquisite dress. She does not want to be distracted in any way and champagne tends to render her dizzy from past experience.
“Brother.” Aegon eases up.
“Excuse me.” She leaves Aegon’s side and quickly approaches her husband. His hand finds the small of her back.
“Good, you’re here.” Alicent makes her appearance known. She made sure to greet her and Helaena too who was already sitting at a table.
“I hate these things.” Heleana leans closer to her, a pained smile visible on her face. “Every year I get dragged to them. I see Aemond dragged you in here too.” She nods at this. “I am told it is important so I’m here.” Helaena smiles bigger at hearing this.
“I suppose it is for a good cause…” Helaena mutters like she’s telling her a secret. “However, I know my brother would rather be anywhere else than here. At least he has you.” Helaena toying with the empty glasses and tableware, she would too if she wasn’t painfully aware how it would look like if she even looked a little bored.
“My brother doesn’t deserve you.” She whispers, making absolutely sure it is only her that hears it.
“What-” she turns to her to question what it means but she’s already turned away, busy fiddling with her phone.
“Ladies and gentlemen!” She startles at the echoing sound, her shoulders jumping to her ears.
“Welcome to the annual…” Aemond’s hand is on her lap, reaching for hers. She looks to him and rests a hand on his. She’s confused about all this, he doesn’t need to show her off anymore, under the tablecloths no one will know if their hands are touching or not.
“Are you okay?” Aemond is unmoving beside her, the only motion he’s doing is his deft fingers playing with her hand.
She nods, hoping her hand doesn’t get clammy and sweaty in his.
“What did my sister tell you?” Aemond’s eyebrows are slightly furrowed. She contemplates on what she should say or not say. For a while, she doesn’t say anything.
“She just said she hates going to these things.” She offers, schooling her face to look neutral.
“Hm.” Aemond nods. Perfectly poised, unmoving, back straight and shoulders square. He’s so good at pretending to enjoy this she can’t help but also sit up in her seat.
With all the speeches done, and all the important people congratulating themselves at how important they are, Helaena’s words, they mill about again. Helaena assures her that she can go home and she too is due to go home but couldn’t since Alicent is still quite busy.
She too is eager to go but Aemond was off greeting more people. At least now she can ask to go home and it wouldn’t be inappropriate. Although, it would bring her some comfort if Aegon wasn’t here.
“Your mother is here, along with your father. You should talk with them.” Aemond tells her silently as if keeping a secret from Aegon.
They watch her walk away. Aegon turns to his younger brother, as always with a shit eating grin on his face. “I’ve never heard so many people say ‘beautiful’ about one person so many fucking times.” Helaena frowns at this.
Aemond doesn’t mind him, he won’t fall for this pathetic attempt at manipulation.
“And the green, was it your idea?” Aegon cackles, so amused by it all. “You’re the picture of perfection, brother. All you need now is a little gurgling child, an heir, to complete the puzzle.”
Gods above, Aemond resists the urge to roll his eyes. Aegon being the eldest brother, getting all the accolades he does not deserve, being the first in line as the heir, has no right to resent him.
“Let us go?” She hurries back to Aemond, wanting to flee for the tenth time this night.
“Hm.” Aemond captures his wife’s hand subtly in his yet also giving Aegon one long look before they depart. She hugs Heleana and Alicent on their way out.
The ride to the hotel was a welcome respite from the hustle and bustle of that party. Seeing her parents rattled her so much she had to physically catch her breath even while sitting.
First thing they asked is if she was with child. They want her to “secure” her place with the Targaryens. She hasn’t realized until adulthood how desperate her parents are to elevate their station in life. Were they like this from the start? Or did it start when many of the businesses they started failed?
Thankfully, as desperate as they are they are not nearly as mortifying in public. They will grill her with questions but from the outside looking in they’re still both pleasant and polite.
Her mind is racing, she’s thankful now she hasn’t had a drop of alcohol to incapacitate her. She feels her hand go clammy in Aemond’s warm one, his thumb unknowingly caressing her knuckles. When she looks up at him, his gaze was already on hers.
Unforgiveable ||
Aemond Targaryen x Reader (Modern!AU)
Aemond Targaryen x Reader (she/her)
(Modern!AU)
Summary: Aemond doesn't lose control, every movement of his is studied and planned, that is until her.
Warnings: MDNI, smut, angst, unprotected p in v, talks of pregnancy and miscarriage, mentions of blood, medical procedures, ooc!aemond, aged up Aemond, let me know if I missed any.
WC: 22k+ (the whole fic)
no smut in this chapter
Chapter 2
At first, those 3 weeks without Aemond in the house were excruciatingly slow. But she let the time pass as she gets used to her new schedule and all the new free hours she never had before. For a while, everything was all right in her world. No more dizzy spells. And for a little bit, No Aemond and his instructions.
“Mrs. Colson is Aemond, I mean, my husband due to be back today?” She smiles at the older woman, keeping her voice as clear as possible.
“Yes, tonight.”
“Is dinner ready?” She asks leaning on one of the chairs in the dining room
“Not yet, my lady.”
“Then I shall prepare dinner for my husband then!” She smiles, clutching the recipe page she has found in between one of the books in the library.
It felt good to do something. After days on end of drifting, with just coasting by with nothing to do, it felt good to have done something, anything. She tried to journal and even press flowers from the garden but if she pressed one more flower Mrs. Colson would have to ban her from visiting the garden for a while.
Mrs. Colson nods to her when she tasted dinner. “It’s good.” She would remark and if it’s good enough for Mrs. Colson maybe it’ll be good enough for Aemond.
But it was a mistake. He clearly said, do not wait for him but she did. She wanted to. The food has gotten cold and she has not eaten more than 3 bites of it. Mrs. Colson has started to clear the plates. She stands to help but quickly drops to the floor.
Next thing you know she’s awake in an unfamiliar place. Blurting out the first thought in her mind. “Is my husband here?”
‘No, miss. I’ll go get him.” She looks for the source of the voice but she’s unable to focus.
“Wait.” Her voice is hoarse. “Did I faint?” She almost doesn’t recognize this new cadence coming from her throat.
“I’ll go get your doctor.”
“Hello, Mrs. Targaryen you took quite a spill I heard.” Yes, a spill. She fainted, something that has never happened before to her.
“My husband?” She asks.
Aemond saunters in, looking quite as normal as can be. His eye is trained on her. Boring deep into her soul. The bad news comes first; they don’t know why she fainted. There are many factors why one faints but because she had no preexisting conditions, they can’t know for sure why it happened.
Loss of consciousness for a long time is caused by a host of issues. They’ll stay for a bit, monitor her and administer some tests to determine the cause.
The good news is she’s relatively fine. She didn’t hit her head on the way down and she hasn’t broken any bones. Her conclusion? It was just stress. The new environment she was in wasn’t helping either.
It was all the stress of marrying a stranger, being the new member of his very secretive, very wealthy family. And the pressure from her own family, to quickly consummate, to quickly be pregnant. Day in and day out for months this was all everyone could force her to think about, it was exhausting. But she endured.
If this is the last good thing I do for my family, then so be it. She kept the tears in, kept the harsh words remain as just thoughts. She would be the picture of elegance and class all to hasten the noise coming from everyone.
“Listen to me.” Aemond breaks her out of her thoughts. He sat beside her, leaning closer over the hospital bed.
In truth he is as every bit of scared as she looks. What would everyone think? Poor Aemond having such a weak wife. Weak. The suitable match ended up not being suitable at all, couldn’t produce one child before Aemond has broken the poor woman he married. Weak.
“If something like this happens again you have to tell me.” He waits for her response, waits for her to reveal how broken she really feels.
Her eyebrows furrow, despite her unfocused gaze she finds his face. He expects more… unexpected trips to the hospital. Aemond thinks she’s weak and incapable, the sadness isn’t for her, it’s for him because he got saddled with her.
“You could have been here.” A sharp inhale. “Mrs. Colson said-”
“It doesn’t matter.” He grits his teeth, shifting his eyes from her to observing if anyone outside might hear. “You tell me FIRST.”
She could only stare at him, is he really this unfeeling? This cruel? She can barely keep her eyes open and yet here he is scolding her, like she’s a child.
“It’s time for your meds, miss.” Aemond takes this opportunity to leave. She tries her best to smile at this nurse, asking about when she’ll be able to leave the hospital.
On the way home, sleep claims her. She has hugged herself, curling into a small ball as possible. It was cold, everywhere. The chill penetrating even through her bones. She just feels so weak, so spent.
Mrs. Colson was sent away, she hopes she wasn’t sent away for good. Aemond helps her get into the house, a hand always at her waist, to support her. The first time she felt his hand wound around her waist was after their union. It was as if a switch was flipped and Aemond has to be always touching her. If people noticed, they didn’t say anything, or stare for too long. But she noticed. The few hours after the wedding felt surreal but one thing is for sure, Aemond had always had a protective hand touching her in those few short hours.
“Gods help me.” Showering when you’re dizzy is a dangerous pursuit. But she did it anyway. She was not about to sleep in bed with clothes she wore at the hospital.
Every few seconds she feels her world tip, unbalanced. She waits for it to subside until she can continue. Shower finished and hair just a little damp, she emerges from the bathroom feeling much improved. Until she sees Aemond on the bed, with no shirt on, book in hand. He has gotten rid of his eye patch.
She settles in bed quietly; eyes trained on him. Aemond makes his way to the bathroom himself and before he could come out, she would pretend her way to actually getting some sleep.
*
“Yes?” Aemond answers from his office.
She rarely ventures in this part of his home. It’s just his office and a few old, dusty rooms. But when she heard her husband was at home during a Friday, it piqued her curiosity.
“Hi.” She opens the door to office so small only her eyes can peek through.
Usually, she wouldn’t go through the hassle of doing something like this but she dressed up for her husband. She picked out a dress she thinks he would like and she styled her hair similarly to how they did it at the wedding.
She deflates a bit when she sees him busy reading over something, pen in hand and clearly occupied.
“Are you busy… still?” She asks, hesitant to approach him closer at his desk. He’s wearing a black suit, like always, back perfectly straight and shoulders square, not slouching.
She fixes her posture too, feeling the dress swish at her bare thighs. He is staring but more often than not she can’t quite place why or what he means when he stares. Aemond doesn’t answer but he places the papers in his hands down on the desk.
“Let’s watch a movie, together. You can pick one if you like…” She clears her throat, approaching closely. One step as measured as the next.
“I’ll be down in ten.” He sighs, picking up the papers once again.
“Thank you, Mrs. Colson.” She sighs, apologetic about having to disturb the older woman late at night.
“What will you be watching?” Mrs. Colson asks her, wiping down the leather chairs.
“I told him he could pick.” She smiles, picking at the popcorn she prepared.
She picked at her popcorn, waiting for him. 10 minutes pass and ultimately, she picked a mystery film for them to watch. She felt all the other films were too frivolous for him.
After 30 minutes, she unfortunately has finished her popcorn. Biting her lip, she turns the projector off. She’s not sure what she expected, just maybe when Aemond says something he will keep his word.
Trying not to dwell on the disappointment, she retreats to their room and gets ready for bed. She consoles herself with a book but even that can’t soothe the sting of rejection from Aemond. She understands that he’s a busy man but leaving her hopeful they would interact apart from just a few words is in her opinion disrespectful, as his wife.
“We can watch a movie tomorrow.” Aemond’s voice is a whisper in her half-asleep state.
“What?” She responds, trying to blink away the sleepiness.
“I got held up in a meeting.” Leaning closer to tell it to her as if it’s a secret.
She startles at his proximity but she looks up into his eye anyway. Up close, Aemond isn’t as intimidating as he is from a distance. He’s still human she tells herself. His flaw? She has yet to figure out.
“You’re busy. I can just watch alone or with Mrs. Colson.” She clears her throat to distract from the fact that she’s been staring.
“We’ll watch together.” Aemond starts, giving her space as she sits up. He wants to promise but he’ll sure to break it so he doesn’t. The best they, she, can hope for is a few hours with him.
“It’s okay.” It’s not okay. But she shakes her head of the nagging feeling she feels at the pit of her stomach.
“Can I ask you something?” She glances towards him sitting beside her.
“When you say duty, do you mean children?” She might as well ask him. If he wants children and expects it, then she should know, plain and simple.
“Yes.” Aemond’s brows furrow a bit but she doesn’t dwell on the change of expression.
“I understand…” She nods, for what else can she do? She hasn’t thought about it, not that deeply until recently that is. Children are okay, she thinks. She wouldn’t know how to care for one alone but she probably wouldn’t need to if she gave birth to Aemond’s child.
She glances at him again, only to catch him staring.
“You should wear that dress again, tomorrow.” He whispers against her lips, close but not touching just yet and his gentle hands, instinctively holding her in place. Aemond waits for her to lean in.
“Tomorrow, then.” She pulls away from him.
Chapter 1 || Chapter 3
a/n: sorry for another short chapter. The next ones are gonna be longer. Thank you for reading! ❤️
