Stop, Drop, and Rant

It was time to have a blog again. What you see here will be my rants, thoughts, feelings, and other things. I'll write when I have something to say and nothing else. Thank you for your consideration.

[kaseytaylor]

My Top 10 Favorite Albums of All Time

I’ve been toying around with this idea for some time now. I wanted to write a definitive list of albums that are my absolute favorite. The list of albums that if I had to get rid of all others, these classics I would choose to keep for all time because I never get tired of listening to them. They may not be the most popular or the most influential, simply just my favorite of all time. Sitting down right now I haven’t sit down and actually ranked them, I just want to write about them. Let’s just get to it. 

Hootie and The Blowfish “Cracked Rear View”

People will probably still give me shit about this album. Honestly, I get it. Darius Rucker is doing his own thing in the country world now. Plus, this album is so quintessentially 90s in presentation. Those first bars of “Hannah Jane” and I am immediately transported to Dowling Drive in Heritage Hill in Martinez, Georgia summer of freshman year. I don’t know if that’s why I love this album so much or that I can still put it on and still not skip a track. 

I definitely came to the party late on this one. I started my high school career in Abbeville, South Carolina and with these guys hailing from the same state there was some buzz about the band. It was hard to escape both “Hold My Hand” and “Let Her Cry” that year. I would watch their videos and enjoy them, but had yet to pick up the album. Let’s face it, I only had so much money that time in my life and no lawns to mow. If it wasn’t Xmas or my birthday, I had to use discretion. 

For my birthday that year, Trey Kelly asked what I wanted. I told him I wanted Hootie on tape, not CD. Why not CD you ask? Because I only had a portable CD player and I wanted to listen to Hootie LOUD in my room. For that I had to have it on tape. And from May until I entered an unfortunate time of “getting rid of my secular music” I blasted that tape in my room. I shoehorned my mother’s current relationship status into “Runnin’ From An Angel.” I fabricated relationships with women I didn’t have for songs like “Look Away” and “Goodbye.” I felt my life flashing before my eyes way too fast while listening to “Time.” My angsty self probably didn’t really understand these songs, but that didn’t take away from my enjoyment. 

Sometime in 1998 after I got over “not listening to secular music” I purchased this album on CD proper. I now had a tape adapter and could blast this album in my car and sing as loud as I wanted to. Track 1 aka “Hannah Jane” is such a great first track. I’d put it up there as one of the best all time post 1990. Such a great way to start a road trip. I remember in January 1999 a co-worker of mine passed away in an automobile accident. It was probably the first time I had dealt with death as an adult and someone who was a friend rather than a family member. It was jarring. I can remember driving to Orlando that same month in those barren back highways or rural Georgia with tears in my eyes as “Not Even The Trees” played on. Since then I’ve had more friends leave too soon and I still get a little misty listening to that song still. 

I also envisioned heartbreak so bad like in “Goodbye” that I would be in a bar with my real life friend Chris (like Darius had too!) unable to leave because my house wasn’t a home either. 

I think what I love most about this album is not only can it take me back, but it also still sounds timeless. If I ever am undecided about what to play on my iPod, I know I can throw this on for roughly an hour and not worry about skipping a track. To me this album is complete. I’m also a lyrics and vocals person first and foremost and I’ve always enjoyed Rucker’s voice. I can tell he was really feeling these songs in his bones. This had to be the album to break through for them. You can hear they have all their skin in this game. If this didn’t happen for them, they’d just be some bar band in Charleston. Instead, they never have to have a real job ever again. And I can still play “Hannah Jane” and feel that same excitement I did when I first popped it into my tape deck back in 1995. 

[kaseytaylor]

More Road Trips

The next summer our youth group planned to go back on the road again. This summer it was going to be bigger though. We had a jaunt planned for June in Florida, a second one in Florida, a longer one in Ohio and Michigan, and then another one in Alabama in August, and one last one in South Carolina. Not only would the illustrious Illustrators of Christ (our mime team name [not Illustrators for Christ OKAY!]), but the Set Free Dance Posse (it was the 90s), and the (cheesily named) drama team would be joining the cause. That “drama” wound up being Chris and Josh acting over some pre-recorded comments in a skit called Kung-Fu Charlie (again don’t ask/it was the 90s). My part time job only allowed me to go on three of these five trips. My being/feeling left out became somewhat of a running theme that summer.

It started with boot camp. My job just wouldn’t give me the time off for me to be there the whole time. Mark who at the time was very adept at shaming me made me feel guilty for it. I swear in another life he should’ve been a lawyer because he was great at denying blame:

“I’m not making you feel guilty, you choose to feel guilty.” “Well Kasey, everyone else is making an effort to be here.”

I’m sure he’d be horrified at his words now, and rereading them now it’s a wonder we are still friends. I’d never let anyone talk like that to me now. I think that pressure coupled with the “been there, done that” attitude caused me to act like a real asshole that whole week. I had small parts in all the mimes we were choreographing if I had any part at all. I could feel the tension. On our last night of boot camp I gave a tearful apology. Good thing because Mark was going to ask me not to go on the trip if I hadn’t done that. I wonder if he would’ve given me all the money back I raised, but that’s something you’d have to ask him.

That first trip to Florida I barely remember. We went back to Marianna, Florida and I stayed with a different church member. He didn’t see our show but said if we didn’t get raptured between now and next year he would come see our show. It’s been 18 years and we still haven’t been raptured, but we didn’t do another show the next summer so we might as well have been raptured if you think about it. Other than the huge crush I had on Jennifer Dibert at the time, I cannot remember anything about this.

It’s the trip to Ohio that really resonates with me. It was close to two weeks out on the road. I remember all of our gypsy crew meeting in the church parking lot early one morning. We had a Ford Expedition, a 15 Passenger van, and some other car that escapes me now. That summer there was a theme percolating that Mark had his “favorites” which included me, Chris, and Josh. We always seemed to ride in his car and he reminded us that other kids should have the opportunity to ride in his car too. I took this to heart and hopped in to the 15 passenger van which was not unlike the school bus in Sixteen Candles. On our way to Ohio we stopped somewhere outside of Atlanta for gas. I was sitting in the van with Chris when I see Mark come over.

“You guys have to come in my car. These kids are putting me to sleep!”

So much for sharing the wealth. Off we went. I remember really having to go to the bathroom while we were in Kentucky. We were pulling out of a rest area when I asked that Mark stop the car. At the time we always listened to this band called the World Wide Message Tribe who had a song called “Here We Go Again.” “I have to go again!” I said. “Can you please pull over?” (Mark proceeds to drive on to the interstate) “I didn’t say ‘Here We Go Again,’ I said ‘I have to go again!’” My friends all thought this joke was hilarious and would bring it up over the next few years. I never thought it was that funny. We pulled over the side of the road in front of some rather mountainous terrain and I gave up and held it. Luckily I fell asleep and when I woke up we were where we were supposed to be and the urge had left me. Crisis averted.

The more I think about this trip, the more the anecdotes come flooding back into my mind. When I think about it, it was such a boys trip. Teenage dudes doing dumb teenage things and loving it. Me, Mark, Richard, Chris, and Josh were a pack together that summer. We had a bullhorn which Chris would use all the time to yell at passerby on the street or other motorists when we were in traffic. “Hey are you gay? I’m gay!” he’d yell out in less enlightened times. “Hey are you going up to the lake to get drunk?” “Hi I’m Becky with New World Tours and this benefits little kids like Cupedre.” Stupid shit like that which is only funny to us and in the proverbial “you had to be there” vein. I’m giggling to myself writing it and I’m sure everyone else is like “eh, ok man.”

That trip I also put my foot in my mouth at Bennigan’s restaurant. All the guys, about 15 of us, were gathered around a table eating. We had been waiting for 30 minutes and we still hadn’t gotten our drinks. I finally snapped and exclaimed “Do you have to put on the application that you’re slow to get a job here?!” right as the waitress was delivering our drinks. I had to sit there and shut up while everyone around the table stifled laughter.

After finishing up our show in southern Ohio we were off to Toledo for another performance. On the drive there one of the funniest things in my life happened. If I had a list of my top ten stories most told, this one would have to be in the top three. Let me set the scene: We were in Mark’s car, with Chris riding shotgun. I’m sitting behind Mark and Richard is sitting behind Chris. Someone is sitting between me and Richard and some dudes are in the way back. Chris was wearing a hat that he wore all the time. When I use the phrase literally every day, that’s what I mean. I don’t think I ever saw him not wear that hat for two years. The best part it was some Hanes Atlanta Olympics hat that totally looked official adjace. It probably cost Chris 10 bucks. In the console was a book of Richard’s poetry. He had that thing full and he took it very personal like any artist.

But Richard was a prankster and he loved messing with people. He would have fit in great with those Jackass guys. Richard reaches up to the window button and pushes it down. If I’m not mistaken it was one of those that automatically went all the way down when pressed. When it did Chris’s hat, which was on his lap at the time, flew right out the window and onto the busy interstate. We all laughed as Christ started to get angry. That was my favorite hat he protested. He sought retribution and looked down at the console. He snatched Richard’s journal, looked at Mark, looked at Richard, and then whipped it out the window that was still down. An 18-wheeler smashed right through it and scattered it all over Ohio. Chris looked around with a self-satisfied smirk and rolled up the window. “Chris when we get out of this car I’m going to kick the shit out of you.” “What I’d do man?”

Mark gently explained to Chris what he threw out the window. I was in the backseat laughing the entire time. Chris was apologetic offering to buy Richard a new journal not understanding that it wasn’t going to be filled with poetry. Luckily, Richard cooled off because he really would’ve kicked the shit out of Chris back then. Probably still could now all these years later.

Me and Richard the year before weren’t really friends. We both liked the same girl and she chose him. I took that about as well as any 16 year old would and showed my ass all summer. However at the time the two of them weren’t together anymore and me and Richard started to be friends. Mark being the smart guy he is/was had the two of us room together on this trip. We stayed with a family in a two bedroom townhouse and when we were coming back late one night I accidentally walked into the wrong room. Richard couldn’t stop laughing at me. It said a lot about our growth as friends that I laughed with him instead of punching him in the nuts. That same night we talked about the journal into the interstate situation and he had gained closure on the issue. He was kind of glad Chris did it.

That summer me and Richard again liked the same girl only this time she picked a different guy than both of us so we were on the same team. We talked about how we tried to make her feel bad for not picking us and grew even closer. I’m not proud of that, but we were young. We didn’t know any better. For probably the first time ever I enjoyed spending time with Richard. I haven’t seen him in forever and I sincerely miss him. 

I remember the performance in Toledo only because it was on video and we watched it a bunch. The people loved it and we looked really good. Some of those songs I still listen to. A few nights later we went to some really buttoned down church that asked us to stop dancing, never applauded us, then paid for our dinner out of the offering they took up to pay us. Real class acts. We had the next few days for fun stuff. 

We went to Mark’s dad’s house to ride ATVs and enjoy the beautiful weather. I took a nap on a blanket underneath a tree that I still remember for being the best nap I ever had in my life. Me and Chris rode again on an ATV and this time on a bump Chris flipped it and we both fell off. Luckily none of us got hurt this time. We had a day at Cedar Point which still has the best roller coasters known to man. We drove to Indiana to have a beach day on the lake and the crazy sand dunes. We drove to Chicago to go to Willow Creek. I fell in love with that place. Chicago replaced Tulsa for me that summer as the preferred destination for Augusta evacuation. The fearsome fivesome had the bright idea to do all of our laundry together instead of individually. A few weeks later I’d see Mark’s wife wearing one of my shirts. We drove back down to southern Ohio to do another performance. The church had a huge cornfield behind it and we played hide and seek in it. It is as creepy as it sounds. One of my favorite parts was when girls came running out with swollen faces from the corn. My strategy was to only go about ten paces in and to the left. No one ever found me and I never got lost.

Honestly, that’s all I remember. It was fun and I’ll cherish those memories. I’d be interested to hear what other people remember about that trip because there were so many of us on it.

[kaseytaylor]

In the summer of 1994 I moved with my mother and stepfather to Abbeville, South Carolina. On Christmas Day in 1994 me and my mother moved back to Augusta, Georgia. I was 14 years old and really had no idea what I wanted to do with my life other than art. This month 20 years ago my life completely changed. Next year, same month my life completely changed again. The following is a brief history of that and part 2 of this road trip series I seem to have fallen into. In July 1995, my friend and youth pastor Mark moved to Augusta, Georgia. He was working at the church my dad attended. My dad asked if I wanted to go one Wednesday night. Beverly Hills 90210 was on reruns at the time, so I figured why not. I never saw another episode of 90210 on Wednesday night ever again. I was hooked. Exactly what hooked me has mostly been lost to time. I can’t really remember anything specific other than having fun, feeling as though my life had meaning (maybe for the first time ever), and maybe somewhat fitting in at a place where I thought the people were cool. Also, there was a Space Invaders sit down arcade game in the youth building lobby. In September I won a trip to go to Disney World with the rest of the youth group and I completely bought in. Every time those doors were open I was there. I’d get there early on Wednesday to help set out chairs for the service. I went to the bible studies on Monday. I helped contact kids on Tuesday. My Friday and Saturday were spent hanging out with my friends from youth group. Every time we took a trip somewhere, I went on it. Eventually, I was helping put on the games portion of the service. I was doing skits and the mime team. Yes, the mime team. We painted our faces and did an interpretive dance to popular Christian songs. Right now typing it sounds like the most horrendous and embarrassing thing I’ve ever done. Partly, it is. At the time however, I thought it was cool. Ultimately, I got to hang out with my friends every Saturday morning and practice as well as receive a modicum of admiration for something I was doing. Mark had the bright Idea that summer to take this show on the road. We would have to raise money to pay our way for this missions trip across the country. At the time of his announcement of this “tour,” we had 10-15 kids on the team. Only eight of us wound up going. Josh, Sara, Richard, Jessica, Chris, Kathryn, Erin, and me. Ben was our technical guy running our sound and lights. Mark was the ringleader. His wife Rebecca and daughter Lauren and Richard’s mother Barbara would join midstream. We had three cars. We had lighting trusses. We had way too much luggage. We had a lot of laughs, a lot of anger, a lot of tears, and a lot of memories. Truly this road trip changed my life. I don’t remember the exact dates because my journal entries from this time have been lost to many moves and “letting go of stuff I don’t need.” This is only what I can remember through 19 years of memory loss. Before we even left we had to go through a “boot camp” to get us ready for the road. We did this the week before we left. I’ll never forget that first Monday doing calisthenics in the Georgia humidity at 9am. We went on a run that couldn’t have been more than 2 miles but people were puking along the way. We were soft and we were not a team. I can remember the rest of the week it was never as intense again. We practiced and choreographed all of our performances that week. We were pretty rough around the edges. Our church was having some kind of festival going on that week and we performed twice. Shortly thereafter we loaded up a 96 Ford Explorer and an older than dirt Chevy Suburban and were on our way. The first stop was Marianna, Florida. This is a small town somewhere in the panhandle. We each stayed with people from the church. I remember this going really well. While I don’t remember everything that happened I have a warm spot in my heart for Marianna. I stayed with Mike and his wife on his sofa bed. He was kind enough to make us chocolate chip pancakes in the morning that I remember as being amazing. He and his wife both gave us the kindness that makes Christianity great. I remember Josh allegedly clogging up the toilet at the church and the next day seeing cranes coming to fix it. This wouldn’t be the last time a toilet was clogged on this trip. On Sunday we performed for a boys juvenile detention facility in town. It’s a testament to the power of God that some of these boys were watching a mime performance for an hour and then crying their eyes out shortly thereafter. It’s something I’ll never forget. We rushed over to another church in town and did another performance. Then we had to drive to Foley Alabama to do another performance that night. We couldn’t believe we had to do all this three times in one day. I remember it being a long day. That night we got to sleep in the church. Then we loaded up and drove all the way toward Orlando, Florida to perform at a church in Kissimmee, Florida. That was like a 7-8 hour drive and brutal after our day before. I remember we “splurged” on a Holiday Inn Express that night and relaxed the next day a bit at Planet Hollywood. Rebecca and Barbara joined us on the trip at this point too. We then headed back to the panhandle to Fort Walton Beach, Florida. Somewhere along the way the AC went out on the Suburban. I was riding in the way back lying down watching the trees going by while trying to tolerate whatever music choice was on the radio when I felt really warm. “Can you turn the air back on?” “It is, nothing is coming out.” “Oh” I’m sure I am remembering incorrectly, but I felt like me and Ben logged the most time in that suburban shortly thereafter. It felt that way anyway. Fort Walton Beach was fine except for getting walked in on in while I was getting out of the shower and girls on the trip seeing me naked. Now I’d be like “oh well” but at the time I was mortified. I eventually got over it. The next day we drove all the way to Shreveport, Louisiana and tried a Red Carpet Inn that had bloodstains on the carpet before settling on the La Quinta Inn. The fact that I considered that luxury can tell you how often I had been out of Augusta at that point. After that we were off to Oklahoma. On the way I remember being in that Suburban without AC in the middle of July in rush hour traffic in downtown Dallas. Brutal. Stryper was the only thing that got me through it. We were supposed to perform again at another church that weekend, but it fell through. We wound up staying on this ranch in the middle of nowhere. By this time we had been on the road with each other for a week and a half. We were tired of each other. We were bored. We were doing something called the Fire Institute where we couldn’t watch movies, couldn’t watch more than an hour of TV a week, only listen to Christian music, had to pray an hour every day, read our bible 30 minutes a day, and write book reports on books in the new testament. Seems ridiculous in retrospect, but I actually learned to enjoy it. On the road though, we didn’t have much in the way of distraction. We went snipe hunting. The toilet got clogged again and we all had to use the bathroom outside. One day me and Chris were riding a 4 wheeler when I went to go put my leg on the stick. I missed and the tire scraped off a chunk of my skin roughly the size of Greenland on an old map. It was gross and painful. We did perform on Sunday at a church that went pretty well. I can remember doing a rehearsal the night before and thinking how sloppy we all looked. We did another performance that night and then went to Tulsa, Oklahoma. On the way we stopped at a McDonalds and I ordered a plain cheeseburger with ketchup only. I guess I was too emphatic because when I took a bite it only had cheese and ketchup without the burger on it. Tulsa was great. We went to a bunch of Rhema-related events that week. We performed one of our songs for the youth function. Later that week we performed for a youth group at Victory Christian Center (VCC) and I for one was so taken aback at how cool it all looked. During our time in Tulsa there were other things I experienced that might be better left to those of us who were there. Partly because I just feel as though not everything need to be shared and partly because I don’t remember the specifics. But I will say the flame at ORU was a memorable time for me. That night we stayed in the missionary home of VCC and I considered us spoiled. It was the first time I didn’t have to share a bed with someone or sleep in a sleeping bag. It was a thin slice of heaven. The next day Mark went with his family on a mini vacation and the rest of us had to make the long dive back to Augusta. I just checked Google Maps and it’s approximately 14 hours to drive that distance. When we left that morning we knew we were going to stay for the night in Alabama. As we were deciding which car to get into, everyone wanted the delayed gratification of riding in the Suburban first. I quickly realized that no one was riding in the AC van so I decided to get in there. It was smart because when the rain came and they had to roll up their windows I was in a frosty van enjoying my thoughts. Alabama was weird. Our fearless leader was gone and we were all sick of seeing each other. I think we were all ready for our own beds too. Plus we were kids. We made that final slog home and had to perform again that night at another church in Augusta. Apparently our act got really tight because we got the kind of standing ovation that necessitates an encore. We didn’t give it to them. We were spent. Later that week we did our whole show for church one Sunday night and then that was that. The next summer we did it again, but differently and I’ll write about that another time. The trip was over, but I didn’t come back the same person. From that point on, I knew I had to get out of Augusta, Georgia eventually. I didn’t know how exactly, but I knew I had to. On this trip I had the most fun, and if I’m honest saw the prettiest girls, in Tulsa, Oklahoma. They had schools there I wanted to go to at the time so for the next few years of my life I was determined to get there. Along the way my tastes changed and I decided against moving to Tulsa. Sitting at a table writing this in New York City I’m glad I made that choice. But that summer I knew I had to leave. Along the way I’m not sure I’ve done anything spectacular or amazing. I’ve lived my life the best that I can. I do know I’m happy though. If I hadn’t gone on this trip I’m not sure I ever would have left Augusta. Maybe for college and maybe briefly. If I hadn’t, I would’ve cheated myself. I’m not speaking for anyone else here. I know some people never did and they seem to have the same happiness that I do. Last month I was visiting Augusta and had the opportunity to have breakfast with Josh. We have been friends over the last 20 years and he’s one of the few people who know me best. Our senses of humor have always clicked and I always love seeing him. He recently moved back to Augusta which when he told me I found shocking. When he explained why to me it sounded completely rational and normal. It made me want to move back in a weird way. Who knows…maybe I will. I said I never would, but now I’m not so sure. But I’m reminded of a movie not many people have seen about four boys in a tiny town of Texas wanting to move to Los Angeles. The leader is having second thoughts…

Girlfriend: “(explaining why she wants to live in a small town)” Boyfriend: “That sounds nice…” Girlfriend: “For me, Keller. Not for you.” We all have to find our something. This trip helped me discover mine.

[kaseytaylor]

Road Trips Baby...

Nothing seems more romanticized than a road trip. They’ve been written about, glorified, taken by many, and detailed in needless ways. I myself have been on my fair share of road trips. When I was 16 I took my first real one with a group of people from church. I could write pages on how that one changed my life, but I’ll decline for now. The following summer I took a couple more road trips with a larger group of people from church that deepened that change in my life. Again, another place another time. The summer of my senior year of high school I helped a friend move from Georgia to Florida. It wasn’t a multi-day, multi-city road trip, but it was one of the most fun times I’ve had in a car that I can recall. I didn’t take another road trip until seven years later in the summer of 2005, and that is the one I’m going to write about. This may only be interesting to the people involved. Honestly though, if only they read it, I’d be totally cool with that. The trip I’m referring to is the Naive Clothing summer festival tour jaunt that started in late June 2005 and wrapped up sometime in the middle of July 2005. It’s been ten years since that road trip and for the first time in my life something actually feels longer than ten years ago. It feels like a lifetime ago. My friend Josh Martin had started a clothing company (t-shirts, hats, and belt buckles really) the year before and after some good showings at local concert festivals he decided to take his show on the road. I was someone who had been there with Josh at the beginning and seemed totally normal that I would come along for this trip. I was stoked to finally be taking another soul enriching road trip. Personally I was at the breaking point with my job at the time. I was working customer service in a call center for the past four years and it was and is as soul sucking as it sounds. Some of my best friends were planning a move to New York City and that kind of adventure seemed like something I should take part in. I knew this other trip was coming up for a few months and I definitely wanted to take part in it. I secured a 30 day leave of absence from work and felt complete and total relief. I could focus on this trip, having fun, and hopefully selling some shirts. We ran a “be our intern” contest on myspace, got ourselves an intern, and planned out our journey. We had about a week before we needed to get to Cornerstone, the original alternative Christian music festival in freaking nowhere southern Illinois. We were using a Ford Focus for our journey. I quickly let everyone on the trip know that I would be driving or riding shotgun as I was over six feet tall and no one else was. We left Orlando as the sun was setting.

LEG 1: ORLANDO TO AUGUSTA, GEORGIA

I had made the drive from Orlando to Augusta at least 20 times between 1998 and 2005, so I volunteered to drive this first leg. We had a radar detector so I knew I could drive without fear of being pulled over and could get us to Augusta and asleep as quickly as possible. If I drove like I knew I could we could be there by midnight. The fastest I had ever gotten to Augusta from Orlando was in six hours flat. The drive should realistically take seven hours. I would not be satisfied unless we made it in under six. Things were going swimmingly as we carved through Daytona using my well-worn shortcut to bypass the end of I-4, we then zoomed up I-95 and passed through Jacksonville without issue. Well until we hit standstill construction that set us back an hour. After that it was smooth sailings. We made it to Augusta in six hours. Damn construction. We were going to Augusta because my stepsister was getting married to a man she is no longer married to. Glad I could be there. Before I left on this trip I packed a week’s worth of clothes and planned on doing laundry at some point so I could save space. This trick I learned on earlier road trips. It definitely helped us save space in that tiny Focus (which I rechristened Airwolf and will be referring to as such hereafter). Also since we had no plans on doing anything for a few more days, I had the bright idea that I should wear the same set of clothes for as long as possible to hold back the laundry clock. Ten years later I realize how silly this is. Needless to say I had no solid wedding clothes. I borrowed a pair of my Dad’s khaki pants and one of his polo shirts for the wedding. I didn’t look great, but having seen how this marriage turned out, I feel better about it. I remember dropping off Josh and Brian the Intern at a movie while I was at the wedding. Then after the wedding I quickly changed clothes, scooped them up, and we were on to our next destination Asheville, NC.

LEG 2: AUGUSTA TO ASHEVILLE, NORTH CAROLINA

Josh had spent many summers at camp here in Asheville and had friends we could stay with. I found it beautiful here and imagined myself living here. To sleep with the windows open and not need air conditioning in the south was a welcome change. All I remember about this was eating good food, hanging with good people, seeing beautiful sites, Brian the Intern making me laugh on the way here impersonating System of a Down as well as doing a phenomenal Yogi Bear impression, and updating the tour blog for the Naive Clothing Xanga which somehow disappeared and I am no longer able to reference. It was really sad that my in the moment memories are lost forever.

LEG 3: ASHEVILLE TO NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE

On the way to Nashville we found out that at 95 MPH the Airwolf shut off and couldn’t go any faster. This disappointed us greatly. We rolled into Nashville to stay with friends before heading on to Cornerstone. We stopped at a mall to buy DVDs to entertain ourselves on our way. We bought UFC DVDs and a wrestling documentary about ECW. Highest of class. I make no apologies for our purchases though. Those were great choices and we got a lot of enjoyment out of them. This part of the journey I remember meeting up with our friend Rickey who would soon move to Orlando and then New York. This might have been the last day I didn’t change clothes. It had been five days at this point I think.

LEG 4: NASHVILLE TO BUCKNELL, ILLINOIS

On the way to Illinois we watched the ECW documentary on my laptop. I plugged it in to a cigarette adapter so we could watch the whole DVD. I doubt Josh kept his eyes fully on the road for those two hours. Were we safe? No. But we were young so it was excusable. We made it to Western Illinois University where we would be staying for the weekend of the festival. Most people would camp at this festival and I’m glad we didn’t as I tend to enjoy the finer things in life like warm beds, air conditioning, and hot showers. There is nothing to do in this town and I remember us watching the NBA draft in a rec room. That was the year Andrew Bogut went number 1 overall to the Milwaukee Bucks and the Atlanta Hawks took Marvin Williams over Chris Paul. And the Orlando Magic took Fran Vasquez who never even suited up for them. Josh was very angry about this. The next few days are a blur lost to time mostly. I’m not going to attempt all the things that happened and just try to list the things that I remember. It never rained that weekend, which it almost always did I was told. This led to a lot of dirt blowing around in the breezes which led to brown skin and dirt boogers. Pretty gross. The guy in the booth next to us had a video playing that had the Underoath song with the dude from Copeland singing. Only it never got to the cool breakdown part, it just kept repeating over and over again. I don’t think I’ve listened to the song since. Our friend Bingham showed up and was with us the rest of the way. It was good to see him and change up the energy. We made friends with the guys in Roper who had the booth next to us. Our friends in Forever Changed showed up right when we needed them to and gave us a boost of energy. We sold a lot of shirts and that made us happy. We saw a bunch of bands we loved. We saw Anberlin on the main stage and new they were going to be huge. While they were successful they never got there like I thought they could. I did laundry finally. I’m sure I’m forgetting some things. After the festival it was off to Chicago.

LEG 5: BUSHNELL TO CHICAGO, ILLINOIS

This is where we got tired of each other. We had been together for a week and a half and were tired. You don’t get much sleep at these things and you’re manning your booth for hours upon hours. We stayed at a sketchy hotel where you didn’t even have to pay for the porn, it was just available. We walked around downtown Chicago and I ditched everyone to get some alone time. We hung out with the dudes from Roper. Considering Five Iron Frenzy was one of my favorite bands, I found this to be a surreal experience. Our second night in Chicago had me and Josh sniping at each other over who had been driving more and me watching Elimidate in someone’s apartment that we had to beg to stay in. It was weird.

LEG 6: CHICAGO TO APPLETON, WISCONSIN

Wisconsin was the site of Lifest the next festival we were selling at. Our friends in the band Number One Fan were kind enough to let us crash with them for the long weekend. The weather was perfect. Warm in the day, cool at night. We were a hit in Wisconsin. Some local band called Ice Cap Fortune bought every shirt we sold. Then one dude kept begging us to sponsor them. I wish I liked their band, but I didn’t. Nice enough guys though. Honestly at this point I was spent. The road is tough. It wasn’t like being in a band where you get to do the fun show part. We just sold stuff. Josh had made friends with other vendors and was spending time hanging with them while I manned the booth with Brian and Bingham. I made friends with a girl Samantha and it was fun to talk and hang out with her. She came by the booth a bunch and was a welcome diversion from the banalities of trying to sell the same kid another shirt. On the last day as we were trying to sell everything (we had even sold the shirts on display with pinholes in them) Josh convinced a girl to buy an XL shirt and wear it like a dress. She did. The man is an absolute salesman. We watched Anberlin and Number One Fan from the stage and that was great. I felt like a big shot. The last night of the festival we had a two on two badminton tournament with a bunch of our friends and it was a blast. Our friend Nick, who was a drummer for Roper, played one handed with a drink in his other hand. Him and Bingham made it to the finals. I was impressed. The next morning we had the long slog to Cleveland.

LEG 7: APPLETON TO CLEVELAND, OHIO

I remember none of this drive. We were going to Cleveland to go to Cedar Point the next day. Cedar Point for my money is the best amusement park in the country. We had fun there. I had been many times before so I showed everyone the ropes. I think we were all ready to get home though.

LEG 8: CLEVELAND TO NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE

We drove the long ass drive to Nashville in one shot to find out the place we were staying in had overcommitted. We thought we were getting beds and couches. Instead I got couch cushions on a hardwood floor. It was not a fun sleeping experience and I was never in my life more ready to get home.

LEG 9: NASHVILLE TO ORLANDO, FLORIDA

I’m pretty sure we didn’t have money to pay for another hotel and knew of no one we could stay with. And I think we were all ready to get home at that point. The drive from Nashville to Orlando is a ten hour drive and we were going to attempt it in one shot. I drove from Nashville to about five exits above the Georgia/Florida line. Did I mention Airwolf didn’t have cruise control? My right thigh was jell-o after that. Josh valiantly took the rest of the way as our drive crept into the witching hours. As we were entering Satan’s asshole, errr Gainesville, we were all fading. We decided to play Kelly Clarkson “Since U Been Gone” ten times in a row to wake us up. It did the job. We pulled into Josh’s place where I left my car three weeks before. I told everyone I didn’t want to see them for a week. Of course I saw them all at my friend’s wedding three days later. It was cool though. We made it and we had a lot of good times.

EPILOGUE

I moved to New York a couple months after this trip. Josh, Brian, and Bingham all stayed in Orlando. Brian I’ve lost touch with as those things tend to happen. Bingham I think caught the touring bug here on this first trip and has been out on the road almost every summer since. He was still a kid when we took him out and we joked about how Josh was to call him Daddy for those three weeks. I’m glad we are still friends and now he can get me into shows instead of vice versa. Josh kept on with Naive and I flew down from NYC to do Cornerstone Florida with him in 2006. It was fun reliving those old memories, but I knew with my job in NYC I wasn’t going to be able to do any more extensive touring. Josh took the show on the road again with Warped Tour that summer with a new crew and I think he missed me calming him down and helping him see the big picture. I wasn’t keen on him going on Warped as it was a one day thing and not a four day festival. I always talked about “competition for dollars” and why would a kid buy a shirt from some company he/she has never heard of when they had 10 of their favorite bands to buy merch for. Even though he took a gut punch he still grew Naive and made it successful. I was proud of my friend. A few years later he had taken Naive and turned it into a mini-empire of screen printing and merchandise sales. I was visiting Orlando once and saw his empire and was impressed with all he had created. He later sold his share of the company to his partners and started working with his father. He’s a dad now and I’m proud of the man he has become. We are still close friends and love him like a brother. We’ve fought but the thing I always know is the man would lay down in traffic for me and if I ever needed something, he would be there. He’s a great friend and I’m glad he asked me to be a part of all this.

[kaseytaylor]

Girls (usually) like me

You know how new movies always have those blurbs from critics about how great they are? I wish I could have that for my love life. Whenever I meet someone new I'd just break out those blurbs. For example: "This has been the best dating experience of my life." -M. Ross "I wish my boyfriend did for me what you have done for her." -M. Fox "I'm kind of jealous of whoever gets to end up with you...you treat me so well." -M. Young These are actual quotes and sell my dating experience quite well if you ask me

[kaseytaylor]

The Signal and The Noise

I just finished reading this book. It is by Nate Silver of fivethirtyeight.com fame. He talks about predictions and forecasts. He talks about how when making and forecasts there is much noise that we have to decipher through and focus on the signal. The signal is what is telling us what will happen. I loved this metaphor of the signal and the noise. 

For Lent this year I gave up Facebook and Twitter. In the last two weeks I have noticed how much I HAVEN'T missed it. Honestly, those two social networks are a bunch of noise and very little signals. I follow too many types of people that tweet too much noise without enough signal to justify it. Already I am thinking of people I can unfollow once Easter comes around. 

When it comes to Facebook, it is similar. I have all of these people on my friends list who I now have no idea what is going on in their lives and that is okay. I left my email address in plain sight and so for only two people have emailed me to let me know what is going on in their world. I started to wonder how much I really needed to know about people's lives. The short answer is very little. The real important stuff will eventually get to me. 

So I started to think about how much noise I contribute. Too much honestly. I'll tweet something I find funny and never hear anything about it. I post pictures and status updates on Facebook expecting everyone to tell me how deep or how funny I am. If I do get a comment it is usually from someone I had no idea was even reading what I was writing. It was kind of embarassing. All I am doing is adding to the noise. 

To further that point, I was perusing my podcasts and realizing that I don't enjoy half of the ones I listen to. So instead of subscribing to 7 podcasts, I know subscribe to 2. Finding a way to reduce the noise. 

So when Easter comes and my Lenten fast is over, I plan on drastically reducing my noise. There is way too much signal to enjoy. 

[kaseytaylor]

Jersey Shore

Ok. It's official. I'm done with Jersey Shore. It misses Angelina. Deena sucks. And now Snooki is pregnant. Party is over. And has been. I doubt I'm making any news here.

[kaseytaylor]

Coming soon...

So I used to blog over at realitysteve.com about the Real World/Road Rules Challenge. I don't any more, but I still watch the show. I consider myself an amateur scholar of the show. I understand that this is virtually worthless in the real world (see what I did there?) but I love talking about the psychology of the show. 

Another thing I love doing is creating the perfect team or contestants. I take five guys and five girls and try to create the perfect team. I defy you to come up with a better team. You cannot. But coming soon I will unveil my new team. 

http://peeinginthebathtub.blogspot.com/2007/08/building-perfect-real-worldroad-rules.html

Here is the link for my original team from almost five years ago. Needless to say, I need to update

[kaseytaylor]

Living in the Heights

It's loud. If you are caucasian you want to seriously consider if you want to live here or not. If you work an overnight shift, you'd probably love it. I don't mind it so much. The rent is cheap, it's close to my school, and there's a Wendy's not too far away. 

Probably my biggest gripe is how loud it is. People will yell outside for no reason. Don't all you have phones? Why are you yelling at everything? They also like to honk their horns whenever they have to wait for 2 seconds. STOP HONKING! That trash truck or school bus will move soon enough. Or when those people get done paying, they will get out of the cab, the cab will move along and so will you. Your drug deal will still happen so chill the f*** out. Lastly, these people love to party. And they want EVERYONE else in the neighborhood how much they love to party. So much so they will turn their speakers to the street at earth-shattering blast. And they will play this music until 5 in the morning. 

I mean...why give a shit about neighbors right? You gotta fight for your right to party! No I didn't want to hear your ranchero music rattle my windows, but who asked me? Not you that's for sure. 

But I am not here to outline a problem without giving a solution. That's a politician's job. No I'm here to help. Here are some of my ideas for fighting back. 

1. Sniper paintball guns. Nothing too damaging. Nothing fatal. Just a nice little reminder that your actions have consequences. Next time that neighbor across the street plays music loud enough to be heard in Staten Island, I light up his apartment with paintballs. I shoot from the comfort of my apartment so he has no idea where they come from. He just now has to clean his apartment and think twice about playing this shitty music. 

1A. Next time you honk for more than half a second, I light up your windshield with paintballs. That'll learn ya. 

2. Stink Bombs. When people are talking too loud outside my building at inopportune times, they get a stink bomb dropped on them. That should make them disperse. 

Will I ever have the balls to do this? Doubtful. Would I like to? Every Friday and Saturday night. 

[kaseytaylor]

Me and Tim Tebow

I may be the last non-atheist that still hates Tim Tebow. I do want to clarify that this is merely sports hatred, not real hatred. If his gums were on fire I would attempt to find a glass of water to put them out rather than piss on his gums. I want to talk about why I hate this guy so much, why I refuse to root for or read anything about him, and why that is okay. 

First off, why do I hate him? He seems like a nice enough guy. Genuine. Defies the odds. Has the ability to pull a golden horseshoe from his ass in nearly every aspect of his life. Let's face it, the doctors told his mother to abort him. The guy has been a walking miracle since he was a fetus. Unfortunately, he chose to attend the University of Florida. That's the number 1 reason why I hate him. If he had gone to the University of Georgia, I'd be his number 1 fan. But he didn't, so I'm not. 

This is where his lucky streak continued. Actually, he and his coach Urban Liar benefitted from each other. Without Ron Zook recruiting some amazing players and Urban Liar recruiting the best quarterback for his joke of a football offense, neither of them would be college football champions. Put Tebow in any other school and he leaves college without a national title. Put any other QB in Urban Liar's system and he has 1 championship and probably not even that one since Tebow was so influential in the 2006 season. I hate both of these men. Once again, Urban Liar and Tebow would be my favorites if they were affiliated with the University of Georgia. 

I feel as though I need to keep bringing that up. My hatred is only sports hatred. It's petty. Just like all sports. Ultimately they are all exhibitions. It doesn't really matter. 

Tebow is awful at throwing the ball. He sets the record for the amount of ducks he throws. His story this year isn't amazing, it's lucky. I don't get excited about lucky streaks. I get excited about great play. Cam Newton played great this year. Maybe the best a rookie has ever played QB in the NFL. Yet no one talks about him. We only want to talk about how great Tim Tebow is. Just writing this paragraph makes me want to spit. I feel like I'm the only one who sees this. This is my horror movie. Knowing the truth and having no one believe you. Tim Tebow is like that kid who is a murderer, I know it, but everyone else only sees a perfect angel. 

It's okay to dislike this guy. I don't have to like everyone. Ugh. I can't write about this guy anymore. He's on a Kobe-level of hatred for me. He may even be beyond Kobe. The good news is I will always hate his coach more. Urban Liar is a joke. I need to end this without any more vitriol. Worst of luck to Tim Tebow this Saturday. I hope Tom Brady shows once again to everyone what a real QB can do. 

[kaseytaylor]

You might be a douche...

...if you ever say "It's 5 o'clock somewhere" whenever someone questions your need for a drink at an inappropriate time. 

[kaseytaylor]

Self-Evident Truths

When a company says they are "going green," what they really mean is they want to save some green and cut costs. They don't give a shit about the environment, they just want to reduce the bottom line. If emails cost more money than paper, no one would go green. Just an FYI. 

[kaseytaylor]

Talkin' 'Bout Luggage

I am a bellman. Don't worry about where. One thing the job has made me (amongst other things) is a luggage snob. If you have shitty luggage I can tell. I can tell on TV shows, movies, etc. For example, I was watching The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo with my wonderful fiance and there was a scene with Daniel Craig unloading some luggage. This exchange happened...

Her: "That looks like nice luggage."

Me: "It's not."

It was shitty Rimowa luggage. These hardcases that are so flimsy a well placed elbow could probably crack it open. Hardcases are the worst. Never buy a piece of luggage that is a hardcase. It is always bulky and hard to maneuver. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm going to go by brand by brand and tell you what is worth your time. This will be long and overly detailed. But when it comes to buying a piece of luggage for yourself, you won't be sorry. 

I would link pictures of all these pieces of luggage but I don't know how. Without further ado...

Never buy a Samsonite, ever. It sucks. They always break. Their hardcases are the worst. They have one hardcase where the handle is on the side and it wobbles when you pull it. Unless you're five feet tall, then it may work. I've never seen a Samsonite bag that I would consider buying. 

Swiss Army bags are hit or miss. Some of them have ergonomic handles that roll good, but I've even see these break if beaten up enough. Then some of these bags aren't the real deal, they just have that little red and white cross on it. Be aware. If you insist on getting one of these bags, make sure you get a Victorinox. Anything else is a fraud and a piece of shit. 

Travelpro luggage can be acceptable. Some is good, some is not. Out of the budget luggage, this might be the best. 

Rimowa we have covered. Shitty, flimsy hardcases. Delsey and American Tourister are department store luggage brands that look great, but do not hold up to wear and tear. Use them enough and the handles start snapping, wheels start busting, and on and on until you're dragging these things around when you should really be buying a new suitcase. 

When it comes to price, Tumi is one of the more expensive brands. They are also one of the most overrated. Tumi luggage is crap. You do not get what you pay for. The pull handles on these things are weak and I always see them break. You will not get your money's worth. Whatever you do, don't get a Tumi. Get a Samsonite before you get a Tumi. 

Now, some of the best luggage is Briggs and Riley. These suitcases take a licking and keep on ticking. The pull handle is on the outside of the case so it can go up and down with ease. When it's inside the weight of the stuff inside can keep the pull handle from coming out. Not with Briggs and Riley. These bags are legit. 

But the best bag is Halliburton. Now, it is a hardcase, but there is nothing outside of a missile or a jackhammer breaking this bag. It is expensive, but it is worth it. I always say how great these are by recounting a story by Slash: On Guns 'n' Roses first tour with Aerosmith, Steven Tyler bought him and Izzy Halliburton bags. He still uses his. That was over 20 years ago. I rest my case. 

Now go out, spend some money on good, decent luggage. You won't be sorry. 

[kaseytaylor]

Stop With The Glasses

Can we please stop wearing these freaking glasses with the year on them? It worked in the 90s because those two middle 9s allowed themselves to work for lenses. It was perfect from 2000-2009 as well. Even 2010 I can understand as there are two 0s. But now these people are really stretching it. Just stop it already. 

[kaseytaylor]

Rant time

I'm sorry I have to do this. First of all, a disclaimer. Jamie Tworkowski is my friend. He is semi-famous and whatnot, but he is my real life friend. Not something where I met him once and then hung out with him again, he is actually my friend. He never screwed me over, has always been cool with me, and I've always liked him. Not everyone feels the same, but to each their own. 

The man WILL NOT use commas. He only uses the word 'and.' Every one of his tweets are the same. I know this is totally petty and unimportant (as is most everything on the internet) but it drives me batshit crazy sometimes. Some sample (fake) tweets: 

"Went surfing today. It was cold and wet and wonderful."

"Just finished Go the F to sleep. It made me laugh and smile and sleepy."

"Had a great conversation about life with an old friend. Feeling inspired and loved and moved."

God bless the guy. He's helping people but he needs to use commas some. Just for me. Just once.

[kaseytaylor]

Thanks For The Memories Brock

Last night Brock Lesnar lost via TKO to Alistair Overeem. It was a kick straight to his liver. About 1 second after you could see the look on Brock's face that this was over. When I saw that face I knew Brock was finished. In the post-fight interview he announced his retirement. I was sad. Brock was like a comet. He had 7 fights in the UFC and was definitely a polarizing figure. You either loved him or you hated him. I always loved him. Here's why. 

It isn't because of the WWE thing, because I wasn't really watching wrestling when he was big in that arena. I think I loved that he talked smack and looked like he could back it up. The guy is a genetic freak. Some dudes do steroids (allegedly) but I never felt that way about Brock. I think the guy was just a freak of nature. He had one professional fight when he entered the UFC. He said "I'm either good at this, or I'm not. I want to find out in the UFC." I always respected that notion. He would only fight the best or he wouldn't fight at all. 

In February 2008 he fought in the UFC for the first time against Frank Mir. He was about to finish the fight when he got caught in a heel lock. He tapped and lost his first fight. But he definitely didn't get beat. Mir is just dangerous that way. Six month later he beat up and retired Heath Herring. Two months after that he was the champ when he pulverized Randy Couture with his size XXXL fists. 

In the summer he had a rematch with Frank Mir for the heavyweight unification title fight. I could not have been more pumped for this fight. He annihilated Mir again. Frank looked like he was wearing a Frank Mir mask. Brock celebrated by flicking off the crowd, talking about having celebratory sex with his wife, and drinking a Coors Light. From now on he was my guy. Everyone hated him after this display. Personally, I appreciated it. He was being real in a world where so many things are prepared and fake. 

After this fight he got hit with diverticulitis. He was out for a year and personally I don't think he was ever the same. Shane Carwin was the interim champ which Brock called a "fake belt" while smirking. I loved that smirk. It said Brock knew he was the baddest man on the planet and top dog. I always appreciated his confidence. Even after having a life-threatening condition. When he fought Carwin later in Summer 2010 he wasn't the same. Carwin almost knocked him out in the first round. But Brock pulled an arm triangle choke out of his back pocket and defended his title. 

He then had to fight Cain Velasquez. I knew Brock was superior to this guy, but Brock lost. I think the diverticulitis had taken it out of him. He just wasn't that same dominant force he had been when he entered the UFC. He was scheduled to fight Junior Dos Santos for the right to fight again for the title, but his diverticulitis showed up again. His fight last night with Overeem was his return to the Octagon and a chance to fight new champ Dos Santos. 

Overeem was too much striker for Brock. When that liver kick came in it was all over. I'll remember Brock as one of my favorite fighters to watch. The guy was a beast and when he was on top of his game he was unbeatable. The guy cut weight to make 265 lbs which in and of itself is ridiculous. But now he's finished. I'm not sure what he'll do now. Probably fade into Bolivian. Whatever he does next I will not forget the ride he took us all on for the last 3 years. I will miss the Brock show. He was one of a kind and there will never be another like him.

Thanks for the memories Brock. 

[kaseytaylor]

Movie Reviews

Here is my one word review of Black Swan...

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

That's code for wait til video. Unless you grew up dancing ballet. Then you might enjoy it. Otherwise, wait.