almost as if he was on auto-pilot, jackson left his jacket tossed over the counter and grabbed a beer from the fridge. he had to admit that he didn’t have people around his apartment often; not because he was ashamed of it, but because it just never really worked out that way. nudging open a cupboard, he glanced at the bottles there to find something for kat, but he was distracted as she questioned him. the question caught him off guard, and it took him a minute to think through it. “i don’t know. dostoevsky, i guess. but i’ve never been picky.” pausing to lean against the counter, he tilted his head, “you read?”
Kat pulled her small knapsack to her chest. She began rummaging through it to collect all the tips she haphazardly threw into the bag. It made a small pile on Jackson’s couch. “He wrote Crime and Punishment, right?” She paused trying to think about it. “Yeah when I can. I read a lot more romance or young adult, but I try to read a bit of everything. I read all the hard hitting books when I was in college.” Kat began to count the bills and line them up neatly so she could keep it from being all scattered.
jackson shook his head in disagreement, but chose not to push his opinion on the subject. the whole situation with kat made him a tad bit uncomfortable, and slightly more on edge that he was with most, because she had been one of the few people there in that moment of weakness. that was too much for him, so he’d continue to duck out of the conversation whenever it started to skirt too close. “’cause they want your money,” he replied dryly as he made his way up the flight of stairs. as she complimented the building itself, jackson scrunched up his face and took a look around. “yeah, it’s fine, until you meet the old woman who’s in charge of management and her shitty little ankle-biting dog and you realize that the whole block is owned by satan herself,” snickering lightly at his own comment, he stopped in front of his apartment and fumbled momentarily with his keys.
pushing the door open, he let her follow at her own pace, almost immediately abandoning his shoes at the door. the apartment was pretty much exactly how you’d expect: a bed on the floor, unmade, shoved off to the side, a couch that looked like it was on it’s last legs, a tv that was balancing precariously on top of boxes he had never bothered unpacking. it would have been messy, had jackson owned more than a handful of things. by far, the biggest menace were the poorly preserved novels that crowded almost every surface and the empty beer bottles that balanced on top of them. “this is where i live, yada yada yada. d’you want something to drink?”
Katerina loved dogs even the most annoying ones she would gobble up. Though her love would wane the minute it kept her from getting a full nights rest. The yappy dogs were the worst. “The whole block is a little bitch.” She joked. Jackson’s apartment didn’t surprise her. It was as basic as it came. If she was honest her eyes lingered on the beer bottles. She wasn’t judging, more so wondering how deep his problems laid. Katerina giggled, “Perfect intro to your place. Sure, uhhhh surprise me.” She sat down on his couch taking it all in. “Who’s your favorite author?” Katerina asked eyeing the various books all around the room.
Kat’s eyes went wide like a deer in headlights. The fact that she had to show her arm had her ready run out the room. At least she knew better. Kat once panicked, a few years back, and was put on watch until they felt she wasn’t a danger to herself. She sucked in a deep breath, nodding her head with the biggest brave face she could muster. “Yeah that’s cool with me.” She climbed onto the table. Kat decided to pull her hoodie off, it was easier. Kat laid her arm out for Caly. “How’s your night been going or week? Anything new with you?” Kat asked trying to keep the tone light and casual. “I mean you look good. I like what you did with your hair.” She mused.
“hmpphh,” she lightly nudged him and it caused him to stagger slightly, reminding him just how drunk he was. and after a chuckle, he decided to drop his teasing. at least until she started jokingly lecturing, and he groaned, letting his head fall back, “shut up,” he complained, “i’m not in your little group. i went once and they kept pestering me for days to come back. it’s a scam.” shaking his head, he scoffed, turning down a somewhat hidden side street without much warning. jackson could barely remember why he’d showed up to that brief session; he was pretty sure it had been after a particularly rough week, when certain escapes had been looking too appealing, and he scared himself. but jackson didn’t like people poking around inside his brain. he had spent 35 years building walls around his most vulnerable self, and therapy required him to be willing to break those walls. he wasn’t. so it didn’t work, and instead it just made him uncomfortable, potentially pushing him even further back into his shell. “plus that’s stupid. it seems like you have so many rules to follow.” digging his keys from his pocket, he came to a stop in front of the building he lived in, unlocking the door and holding it for her.
Kat understood his sentiment more than she let on. Her battles with mental health, addiction, and things of that nature was on-going since she was a child. She had her periods where she swore off therapy and medication. Even now, she is mostly free from therapy. She was trying some new ways of helping herself without the use of harsh medications. Would it work? Katerina hoped. “It’s not a scam! It’s a necessary evil. At least I think so. But I do think they are pushy. It’s like if you don’t show up your the secret key they are missing to unlock the whole world.” She joked lightly. His sharp turn had Kat staggering, turning quickly to catch up to him. Katerina agreed, that was the part she never agreed to. Kat felt it was stupid to be strangers with people who end up knowing more about your fucked up past than your own parents. “They do. I hate it.” She stepped inside the building. “I like your building,” She muttered.
clicking his tongue, he pointed at her, “that’s exactly what i’m going for,” he promised, even though that wasn’t entirely true. he’d stepped outside to get some fresh air, but in his intoxicated state had ended up in some half-dream state, staring at the sidewalk until his companion had appeared. it had nothing to do with women. seeming mysterious was a way better story, though. “goth girl, troubled musician, aren’t those basically the same thing?” he questioned, raising one eyebrow in amusement and giving her a once over. “efficient,” he decided, falling into laughter once more as she made her teasing remark. he playfully pouted in her direction, “damn, kat, now you’re just giving me mixed signals here,” gesturing between the two of them, he turned his attention towards the street, following the signs above the closed shops to help steer him back towards his apartment. there was the very real possibility of him missing it if he wasn’t paying attention. “i think there’s a place not too far from here that does delivery, we’ll give it a shot,” he agreed with a shrug, though his mind was clearly elsewhere as he watched the street signs they passed for the one that indicated home.
Katerina knew that wasn’t what he was going for. She imagined him staggering out of the bar, drunk off his ass, trying not to hurl into the street. However, it was still a good dream to have. Katerina laughed at him comparing the two cliques. She squinted her eyes just a bit as she thought about it. She pretended to think long and hard about whether two were the same thing. “Probably. I listen to enough music to want to create something of my own.” Katerina grinned up at him, “Oh my god! No!” She playfully nudged his arm trying to get him turn his face away from pouting at her. “There’s no signals I barely know you! Plus,” She cleared her throat pretending to be one of the therapist that ran the group, “It’s highly discourage for us to mingle outside of group because we’ll be bad influences on each other.” Her smile cracked through the fake professional talk. Katerina kept following him eyeing the various stores that were closed for the evening. “Sounds like a plan.”
Kat was stationed behind her electric drum kit. It was still loud, but the muted drums and cymbals helped to alleviate the pissed off neighbors. She sighed hanging over her kit as she stared at Maverick with big doe eyes. “I’ve been in a musical rut for like weeks.” She sighed grabbing her phone which was perched on a music stand. Katerina was recording some of her beats for social media. She was a slave to posting, but it only meant more people would help fund her dream. “I keep just thinking of crappy song lyrics like ‘You're the one who moves me. You're the one who sees right through me.’ like I dunno that’s something I could’ve came up with when I was like 13.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “You got anything better?”
jackson scoffed playfully, “are you insinuating girls don’t already think i’m mysterious? why the fuck do you think i’m hanging out here with the lamppost?” he questioned, gesturing back towards the light. finishing off his cigarette, he tossed it towards a puddle on the sidewalk, “touche,” he mused as she pointed out the flaw in his characterization of ‘hipster’ fashion. “you hang out in graveyards? damn, you really are checking every box on the troubled musician checklist, huh?” there wasn’t judgement in his tone, but he found the thought amusing. it was a stereotype heard often, but he’d never met someone who actually did it. falling into step beside her, he shoved his hands into his pockets, and he considered the two options that faced them. “already inviting me home? i might be a little too drunk for that,” he teased in mock arrogance, before pulling his sleeve up so he could peek at his watch and answer seriously. “everything’ll probably be closing soon, so i think that crosses it off the list. i’m kind of disappointed in your taste in alcohol, though, so-” pausing, he let his sleeve fall again and returned his hands to his pockets, “my apartments just down the block and around the corner. you can come there, if you’d like? i don’t have any food but i have beer and enough liquor that there’s bound to be something you’ll drink.”
Jackson’s comment had Kat cackling. He did look ominous hanging out under the lamppost. If she didn’t notice Jackson she would’ve scurried home without a second thought. “Oh so this was your whole ruse to be mysterious.” She motioned with a wave of her hand. “It works its definitely a I’ll either kill you or kiss you vibe until you get up close and realize, oh wait, he’s just drunk.” She teased. Katerina gave him an unimpressed look still smiling despite it all. “I thought I was checking off the goth girl list, but I’ll take it. I’m all for checking off the cliche’s in my life.” Katerina had two vastly different styles. Some days she was the typical grunge/alternative fashion chick. She’ll have ripped up skinny jeans, flannels, maybe a pentagram somewhere on her clothes, and overall teetering that line of hot and scary. Then the next she would look like she came out of a 1950′s catalogue. She tended to lean towards a rockabilly look.
“Yeah I personally like the whole wine, dine, fuck all in one sitting model. Saves me time... I’m kidding by the way.” She added in with a laugh. Katerina pulled out her phone to check the time. They would’ve had one more hour or drink before it was last call, it wasn’t worth it. “That sounds like a plan to me. If we’re lucky maybe Chinese food? I haven’t really eaten all day. Just lead the way.” She motioned with her hand.
“i’m gonna start being one of those assholes that wears sunglasses in bars so people leave me alone.” he joked back, laughing at her teasing. jackson was fairly passive when it came to violence. he’d had his moments when he was a teenager through his early twenties where he’d pick fights and frequently lose. but as he got older, he levelled out, finding physical altercations exhausting and pointless. he still picked fights with rude comments when caught in a mood, but he hadn’t thrown a punch in years. “i don’t know,” he waved the comment off as she smirked at him, “isn’t it like, trendy to look poor nowadays? i don’t keep up with that.” his mention of heroine seemed to draw the reaction he was looking for, and he chuckled, giving her a shrug, “yeah,” he admitted somewhat honestly, “it’s just not for me.” he had no interest in explaining his habits much more; it would be delving a bit too deep into is chaotic past and jackson didn’t want to open up that can of worms, especially not with some girl he half-knew from a therapy session he attended weeks ago. “actually, the pole and i were really just starting to get to know each other,” he tapped the lamppost a few times, before pushing off of it. “but i’m starting to feel a bit like a creep, so if you’re offering- i’ll come.”
“It might make things worse,” She thought about it, chewing on her bottom lip. “Girls may think your mysterious and try to hit on you. Then the guys gotta kick your ass because your some suave dude stealing all the ladies. If you swing that way.” She added in. Katerina wasn’t a fighter, but she could throw a punch. She had enrolled herself in self-defense classes a few years back. It was the only way to protect herself from any creeps. She was too independent to hide behind someone. “If you’re a hipster. Other than that poor is just poor.” She said. Katerina nodded along not bothering to pry into his life. She knew her boundaries and tried her best to respect them. “Yeah? I wish I could invite your friend-” She motioned to the lamppost, “-but I have a rule that you need to have a heartbeat to hang with me. Unless I’m hanging out in a cemetery than that’s the only time its optional.” Kat started to walk back down the street she was going. “Bar or my place? I have some food, but I mostly do take-out. I do have some liquor but no beer. Not a fan so you choose. I don’t give a fuck where we go or what we do.”
lighting his own cigarette, he passed his lighter towards her. “absolutely not.” he answered dryly as she questioned him about the college aged kids that tended to take over the places he was used to being. “do you know how many times some twenty year old shithead two drinks deep has tried to fight me because he thought i looked at his girlfriend? i just want to get drunk, i’m not looking to start shit with kids who aren’t even legal.” folding his arms over his chest, he continued to use the pole for stability, taking a drag from his cigarette himself. “i guess you fit the part,” he said, gesturing towards her vaguely, “you look like a starving artist. in a good way, i guess,” after his original comment, he backtracked somewhat, not wanting to immediately offend. though as she questioned his habits, he snorted, using his thumb to scratch at the side of his nose, “i don’t do heroine, if that’s what you’re asking.” he replied cheekily, “drugs aren’t really my thing- i get paranoid. i drink a lot of coffee though.”
Katerina cringed at the thought of a guy trying to take down Jackson. “Maybe you shouldn’t have looked at his girlfriend.” She teased, “Everyone knows you gotta pop your eyes out if you want to go to a bar. Otherwise you’re just looking for trouble.” Katerina took a drag as he made the comment. She raised a brow unable to fight off the smirk off her face. She rarely took offense to things. It’s only when people truly meant to be mean did she ever get upset. “There’s a good way to look starving?” She turned to her side and running her free hand along over her stomach. “At least I’ll always have my figure.” She joked. “What? No! Not heroin like weed! Do you get paranoid smoking pot?” She wondered, “That’s a given. I can’t survive without it. Are you planning to hang out here all night? Because I’m either going to head home or grab another drink or two, if you want to tag along?”
jackson laughed, digging through his pockets for his cigarettes. “i can make a pretty good disappointed face if you don’t want to lie,” he promised, popping open the package and offering one towards the younger woman. she struggled through the compliment, and jackson averted his gaze to the road. “once and a while. i prefer the one that’s over on queen st., but it’s slowly getting taken over by college students and they’re a lot. why? you sing here a lot?”
Katerina shook her head, “I think I got enough of those looks to last a lifetime.” She graciously took the cigarette. “Can I use the lighter?” She asked thinking if she even had a lighter on her. Katerina grinned, remembering when the bar first opened when she was in college. It wasn’t a go-to spot back then but the close proximity to the college had students going more and more. “Aren’t college students fun? I mean they aren’t drinking to run from their problems. They’re trying to start them.” She pointed out with a grin. She lit up the cigarette and took a long drag, coughing at the smoke invading her lungs. “Not a lot... Yeah actually a little bit. Whenever they got open-mic and then a few times when I got a gig in there with my guitar. I sing all over, wherever anyone wants a starving artist I pop up.” She joked. She eyed the cigarette between her finger tips. The soft paper easy to be torn into with her nails. “You have any more vices?” She casually asked.
Caly was at work filing some paperwork behind the reception desk when she looked up and saw someone walk in that she had just seen no more than a week ago. “What brings you in this time? I thought we made a deal the last time that it would be more than a month before I saw you again.” She was smiling and just teasing the person standing in front of her. It was a relatively slow day in the E.R. but she knew the moment that she thought that it was going to blow up in her face, just like it always did.
Katerina had been dealing with a ton of stress. The downside to her taking matters into her own hands meant it got messy, mentally. Katerina had hurt herself again. Thankfully, it wasn’t a crisis like the first time she met Caly. Kat’s relapse severity always varied. This time it was bad, hence the visit, but nothing where stitches needed. She was in sweats and a huge hoodie, the hood pulled up. “I just need to be patched up,” She gave a sheepish smile, “I need to be seen but I didn’t want the questions. I’m okay, I swear. It was just a bad episode and I’m good.” She assured Caly. “Can you help? Or like give me that cream you use?” Kat felt weird, uncomfortable, asking for help but she also needed it.
it was his normal routine. Stop at his mom’s after work, make sure she was okay, grab a cup of coffee from his favorite cafe and read for a bit. Today the space was a little bit busier than normal, but he got his normal two seat table by the window, his back to the corner against the wall so he could see the space around him. Observation told him that the seat opposite him was the only one left after a while.
A lingering body caught him off guard at first, the other closing the book. “You’re more than welcome to sit, I’m nearly done here.”
Katerina ran on coffee. It was her lifeline besides weed, but that just kept her mentally sane. She loved going to coffee shops to work. It was the only way she could bring herself to write anything was to get out of her house and immerse herself in a crowd. She had clutched her cup of coffee waiting to find a seat. It was a process, some days, but it was worth it. She wasn’t expecting the man to acknowledge her presence. Partly hoping she wasn’t bothering him by her waiting on the sidelines. “Thanks, I don’t normally just take people’s tables but my laptop is fucking heavy. Sorry, I curse like a sailor.” Kat sat across from him and pulled out an overused notebook. She had scribbled and drawn on the covers. Each margin had significant doodles around the corners.
“You don’t have to leave. I swear you won’t even know I’m here.” She promised. “Real quick though because its going to bug me. What are you reading?”
“didn’t think so,” he mused, folding his arms over his chest. leaning his head into the pole beside him, he squeezed his eyes shut. the liquor in his bloodstream was making everything spin lightly, and he felt vaguely nauseous. that’s partly how he ended up outside against the lamppost. “as the older and more responsible one-” he snorted at this own comment, “i feel like i may have a obligation to your therapist to lecture. but i’m too drunk to give a shit.” blinking one eye open, he gave her a crooked grin before letting them both shut again. “i heard you in the bar, by the way. not my kind of music, but you’re not half bad.“
It was her turn to snort at the comment. An easy grin fell upon the young girl’s face. The buzz was enough to last her for the entire night. It wasn’t the same feeling she got while high, but it was welcoming. As long as she didn’t over do it like every other night she drank. “I’ll tell them you were a very thorough lecturer. I’ll even throw in how you gave me that disappointed look on your face.” She commented. Self consciously she adjusted played with the straps of her backpack. “Thanks I- I try, I guess? It’s just something I do when they have open mic nights. Do you go to that bar often?”
shortly after his sly remark, a finger was being waved in his direction, and jackson shrugged, “i saw it.” he answered simply. choosing to look towards the cars that passed on the street, he somewhat ignored her presence coming to land against the wall beside him; it was nothing personal, jackson just didn’t like the reminder of the handful of failed therapy sessions that had really done nothing for his deteriorating mental condition. “i don’t really know what time it is, but it feels late, so yeah i guess,” he replied as she questioned him, shooting her an unimpressed glance, “i don’t need no mantra, man. if i wanted a lecture, there’s plenty of other places i can get one.” bringing his hands up to fold over his chest, he squinted at her, attempting to bring her face into focus, “what about you, then? late night?”
Katerina held her hands up in defeat. She wasn’t actually going sit there and repeat the mantra. Half the time the stuff did nothing for her. It felt like homework for her. The only thing she got out of the therapy sessions was the ability to talk, but she never liked to talk as a group. Katerina always felt everyone’s eyes were on her, and it made her skin crawl. “Fine no lecture,” She gave an easy smile as she giving a half hearted shrug. “Not late enough. Definitely not drunk enough. Why are you going to give me a lecture?” Her addiction had nothing to do with alcohol, but it didn’t mean she didn’t know the horror stories of liquor.
“i saw that,” leaning against the street lamp, jackson’s blurry gaze followed the figure that he’d just watched stumble across the sidewalk as they steadied themself. it was bold of him to talk, considering if he didn’t have the metal pole to lean against he’d likely be swaying himself, but they didn’t need to know that. “there’s a curb there. you should probably pay more attention.”
Katerina had emerged from the open mic bar tipsy and with a wad of singles in her small backpack. She didn’t make it far up the block before spotting Jackson. His appearance caught her off guard as she stumbled on the curb. She managed to catch herself, “Fuck” She exclaimed. Kat pointed at him, “You saw absolutely nothing.” She jokingly warned. Kat leaned against the brick wall behind Jackson watching him hold himself up. “Late night?” She questioned with a sly smile, “You want me to recite the mantra for you?” She teased. Kat learned to not judge a person. Especially when it came to their struggles. Instead she would rather keep the conversation light and be the support beam in case their actions caught up to them.
( Demi Lovato, 25, cisfemale, she/her ) KATERINA MARQUEZ! we’re so happy you’re here. you’ve been her for ALL HER LIFE, working as a SINGER/INFLUENCER, right? yeah, everyone’s already told us all about you. they said your very OUTGOING, COMPASSIONATE, and FIERCE. which we think is just awesome. of course they told us that you remind them of FIREWORKS EXPLODING OVER A BLUE FLAME, OCTOBER UNDER A FULL MOON WITH LEAVES BRUSHING PAST, ALICE FALLING DEEPER AND DEEPER INTO THE RABBIT HOLE and GASOLINE by HALSEY. so we feel like we already know you so well. we can’t wait to get to know you better. ( mimi, 23, est, she/her )
OOC
Triggers: N/a
Banned Plots: N/a (Just weary on any kid related plots)
Katerina’s life has always been a chaotic roller coaster ride that she can’t stop. When she was little; her parents were in a heated custody battle for her. Eventually, the courts gave her over to her mom. The problem was that her mom wasn’t the best fit for being a parent. Her mom suffered from undiagnosed Bipolar Disorder which caused chaos in the household. Her mom couldn’t keep a job and had to constantly move around with Katerina.
As Katerina was growing up she was shy, very polite, and well mannered. However, she couldn’t seem to make any friends growing up and that led to severe bullying. This came in the form of physical, cyber, verbal attacks. They had once cornered her and and forced her to rub poison ivy all over herself. Which she had to be hospitalize twice for because she is severely allergic to it.
The Marquez mental health problems trickled down to Kat. A lot was situational stress that led to her mental breakdowns, but it was also genetics. Kat was placed in therapy. It gradually got more and more restrictive as her mental health continued to decline. Kat had began to self-harm to the point she viewed as an addiction. To the point she had to be taken out of school and be in intensive out patient for the remainder of her middle school years and into high school. During that time she had to be hospitalized due to suicide attempts.
Finally, Katerina was able to move out of the school district and into another school. Where she was able to start over. Kat could formulate friendships but she couldn’t keep them. She tried to have a normal high school life but it was hard with how strict her parents got with worry. When it came time for college, she wasn’t allowed to leave Denver. Instead, she went to a school she hated and for a major she liked but not her passion.
Kat was a Psychology major. During that time she began to build her confidence up. It’s also around the time she discovered music. She had joined the music club at her school and developed a passion for it. She always loved to sing, but it was the first time she can cultivate the environment into something she loved. It took her a long time to graduate. Kat isn’t dumb, but she never cared about school. She didn’t understand the importance of homework, or constantly showing up to gym class. However, by some miracle she was never held back and graduated college.
Somewhere along the lines she began to market herself on social media. Mostly as a YouTuber and Instagram influencer. She used the platform to showcase her unique style, makeup, music, mental health awareness, and whatever else she saw fit. She makes a considerable amount of money as an influencer. While her music is still budding she has a few songs on Spotify.
HEADCANONS
Tw: Self-harm, Controversial Medical approaches, Side-Effects from prolonged prescribed medication
Katerina is diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Just like her mom she was misdiagnosed for a long time as Major Depressive Disorder with NSSI
Kat viewed her self-harm as an addiction, and still does. She actively avoids any visual, literature, music, revolving self-harm. She has gone to Addiction Treatment in the past.
Katerina is not taking any prescribed medication. She smokes weed as a form of medication. (OOC: I would like to classify this as “California Sober” but because I’m not well educated in that community. I don’t want to do more harm by misusing the saying)
The reason she stopped taking prescribed medication was because of the side effects. Katerina’s hands will shake because of long-term use of an anti-depressant. She also contributes her thinning hair to the medication as well.
Katerina is in a pop-punk band. She’s frontwoman and takes a lot her theatrical elements on stage. She tries to tell a story through her songs and performance.
Instrument wise she can play drums. Every other instrument is basic level at best.
WANTED CONNECTIONS
Band Members
Roommate
Enemies
Enemies to Friends: Off the top of my head I thought it would be cool if there was a redemption arc between a former bully and Kat
People from her therapy/addiction sessions: While I don’t have her actively going to therapy. I’m willing to have her go back if it would help satisfy this connection better.