I hate living in a judgey town in NI cuz my biggest fear is ppl seeing this account and so this is why I don’t have a fun TikTok account and just have a boring one to do socially acceptable lip syncs (@katie__doherty_ if yous all want to like my TikTok’s so it looks like I have friends 😉😉😉)
Maybe unpopular opinion but I think it’s so wrong if you’ve seen ppl who apparently hooked up with Joe come on here and give extreme details about his dick like no harm even tho I am a bit morbidly curious I think it’s disrespectful
big fan of independent dogs who want to hate you so bad but wake up at 5am distraught because you went to the bathroom and immediately need to cuddle when you come back
request: gator having a hard time with showing you how much he still loves and appreciates you after having maggie when you’re insecure with your body postpartum, or how you’re too tired to do anything when the doctor clears you.
the full collection & vision board!
disclaimer: these photos are from pinterest, i do not own them. i do not know the child, hence why i've covered their face.
cherry on top: SHE'S BAAAAAAAAAACK DID YOU GUYS MISS ME 😝
also i've only got one more maggie mae request to post i think then i can start writing stuff about the second baby and whatever so permission granted to send mini ideas or hc requests about it!
postpartum hits way harder than you expected.
physically. emotionally. mentally. everything.
not because you don't love maggie. oh god, you love her so much it hurts.
but your body doesn't feel like yours anymore.
nothing fits right.
you're exhausted all the time.
your emotions are all over the place.
and every time you look in the mirror, all you see are the changes. plus the fact that your hair is constantly in a bun, because honestly who has the energy?
meanwhile gator is genuinely completely oblivious at first.
not because he doesn't care, but because when he looks at you he still sees the same girl.
the girl he fell in love with, only now you’re holding your daughter, which somehow makes him love you even more.
so the idea that you don't see yourself that way anymore doesn't even occur to him.
until one afternoon you finally snap.
you've been wearing the same oversized sweatshirt for days, and you're standing in front of the mirror, trying on an old pair of jeans.
they won't button. not even close.
and that's somehow the thing that breaks you.
after everything, it's the stupid jeans.
suddenly you're crying, sitting on the bathroom floor, holding the jeans.
and of course, that’s when gator walks in.
who, of course, immediately panics.
because there are tears, and tears automatically equal emergency.
"baby? what happened?" "my jeans don't fit"
gator pauses, trying so hard to figure out the correct answer.
eventually: "buy bigger jeans?"
wrong answer. horrible answer. absolute worst possible answer.
you start crying harder, and now he's really panicking.
eventually he kneels in front of you, takes the jeans, just tosses them across the room.
"i hate them jeans anyway" "gator" "never liked 'em"
liar. complete liar.
but he's trying so hard.
eventually you whisper "i don't look the same"
and his heart shatters, because suddenly he realizes this has been happening for a while. you've just been hiding it.
and now he's kicking himself for not noticing sooner.
all this time he's been assuming you knew how he felt, that he still looked at you the same way, that he was still hopelessly in love with you.
apparently you don't, and that's his fault because he hasn't said it enough.
if at all.
and there really isn’t a better time than now.
"honey, you grew our little girl"
instant tears from both of you.
"hell, if anything i think you're prettier now"
and he’s completely serious.
because when he looks at the stretch marks, he sees maggie.
when he sees the changes, he sees everything you went through.
everything you sacrificed and everything you survived to bring your daughter home.
and to him, that's the most beautiful thing in the world.
now, unfortunately, he's still gator.
so after this incredibly emotional moment, he follows it up with "plus your butt got bigger, and if ever found that as a bad thing, i’d want you to take that gun from the safe and shoot me"
now you're laughing through the tears, and he's grinning because he successfully made you smile.
after that, he works a bit harder.
he now knows you need reassurance and he desperately wants to give it to you. he just doesn't know how.
so his first attempts are...rough. very rough.
"you look nice" "nice?"
he immediately realizes he messed up.
because nice? that's what you say about curtains, not your girlfriend. not the mother of your baby.
"pretty" long pause. "real pretty"
he also becomes incredibly touchy.
not because he wants anything. no, quite the opposite.
he just knows you're struggling, so he wants you to know he still reaches for you automatically.
hand on your back, hand on your knee, arm around your shoulders.
all day. constantly. like muscle memory.
one night you're sitting on the couch.
oversized shirt, messy hair, baby spit up on your shoulder, feeling particularly terrible about yourself.
and gator walks by, absentmindedly kisses your forehead, squeezes your shoulder, then keeps walking.
and somehow that means more than a thousand compliments.
then comes the doctor's appointment.
that appointment.
the one where you're finally cleared.
doctor says everything looks good, you're healthy, healed, congratulations.
meanwhile you're sitting there thinking: i haven't slept more than three consecutive hours in months, i'm wearing milk stains, i forgot to brush my hair yesterday. i would rather eat drywall than be romantic right now.
and honestly, gator isn't thinking about it much either, because he's tired too.
not as tired as you, but tired.
maggie mae is currently running both of your lives, and she's not even capable of holding her own head up consistently yet.
one evening you finally bring it up during one of maggie's midnight feedings.
because that's when all important conversations happen.
at two in the morning with a velcro baby latched to you.
you've been feeling guilty.
guilty for being tired. guilty for not wanting anything.
and you quietly admit "i know i'm probably disappointing you"
silence.
gator thinks he misheard you.
"what?" "i just..."
more tears interrupt you.
"i'm tired all the time" "yeah" "and i'm not exactly..."
he's looking at you like you're actively breaking his heart.
he doesn't think you realize how much you do, or that he notices and how much he appreciates you.
he reaches over and takes your hand, pressing a kiss to your knuckles.
"you ain't gotta give me nothin'"
gator doesn't need “proof” you still love him.
he sees that every time you hand him maggie or you fall asleep on his shoulder or you save him the last biscuit at breakfast or you smile when he walks through the door.
right now, he just wants you resting and healing. letting him take care of you for once.
after that, things slowly get easier.
his hand finding yours again. forehead kisses. lingering hugs in the kitchen. him wrapping his arms around you while you're holding maggie. resting his chin on your shoulder.
"there's my girls"
every single time.
no matter how tired you are or how different you feel, gator still looks at you exactly the same way he always has.
like you hung the moon.
except now, you're holding a tiny little girl who has his eyes and your smile.
Guys I just have to say my appreciation for every single writer on here I’ve gone through the worst 6 months of my life losing my granny in November and my Granda this week ty for always making my day brighter through rough times love yous all x 💕
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